Pmann’s COVID Sex Advice Thread

[Lord Pmann]

So, I’m sure most of you have heard about this bug that’s going around. We are not supposed to be sticking our bits everywhere, lest they get COVID and shrivel. Doc says COVID could make my dick shrivel down to the size of a piano leg.

Anyway, the British Columbia Center for Disease Control has some REALLY good advice on their site (http://www.bccdc.ca/health-info/dis...mcam9UpUFm4672wZsYk1E43rHbEgRJKhzcoH5UTv6nGRo)

I’m going to list some actual advice given. This is real advice. From medical experts. On a government website. I have not made any of these up.

1. Masturbate. They suggest that I am my safest sex partner. That’s funny, as they don’t know where my dick has been. I’ve been fucking vacuums in back alleys and raw dogging watermelons for years. They recommend, if masturbating with a partner, to social distance or use barriers. I believe windows and shrubbery are sufficient for barriers.

2. Virtual sex. I’m surprised they didn’t link to Lit.

3. Recommendations for sex:
- Wear a face mask.
- Avoid face to face sex.
- Social distance. Yeah. They recommend social distancing during sex.

4. Sex workers should wash their hands after an encounter. Brilliant.

5. For men looking to fuck prostitutes, do NOT discriminate against Asian sex workers.

6. This is my favourite, so it gets its own bullet point. GLORY HOLES. This legit medical website recommends glory holes as a way to protect yourself.

Lit is full of good ideas. Do you have any safe sex ideas for preventing COVID?

 

[Grey Shadow]

Months ago the national health service of a European country, I think it was the Netherlands, urged all single people to stop dating and pick one fuck buddy for duration of the pandemic.

 

[alwaysaway]

3a and 3b are preferable to some.

Glory holes seem like a great way to spread it. I mean, dick goes into hole number 1. Mouth number 1 puts dick in their mouth. Dick then finds hole number 2, sticks itself into said hole. Mouth number 2 puts dick in mouth. Unbeknownst to mouth number 2, mouth number 1 has COVID! Dick is now the carrier to all the mouths.

I guess as long as your washing your hands after an encounter...

 

[Trixxii]

Not talking dental dams, glory holes, or fucking with latex gloves on ....but, non-conventional intimacy has some appeal. It can be hot, and nearly just as good. Nearly. Suppose it's what you make of it.

 

[Jakevillines]

Not talking dental dams, glory holes, or fucking with latex gloves on ....but, non-conventional intimacy has some appeal. It can be hot, and nearly just as good. Nearly. Suppose it's what you make of it.

Interesting, interested, inter-following...okay I made the last one up

 

[Nevyn_Black]

Oh! Be like me and see how many decades you can go without. *nods*

I will be the last person on earth to get any sort of VD. Because I will be the last person on earth who ever gets laid.

 

[Mr_bogey]

This is the content I'm here for.

 

[Dribble]

Pmann to the rescue. Safety first

 

[Apple_of_Eden]

This is actually taken from the Department of Health website:

Limit the number of partners.
Though they don't specify the number!

Try to identify a "consistent" sex partner.
I'm not sure if the key word here is "try" or "consistent"?

Wear a face covering, avoid kissing, and DO NOT touch your eyes, nose, or mouth with unwashed hands.
Sounds like a lot of fun...not!

Wash your hands before and after sexual contact. If soap and water are not available, use an alcohol based hand sanitizer.
Because an alcohol based hand sanitizer is more available than soap and water...lol...it would have been easier to say, use any alcoholic beverage with greater than 70% content.

And the best of the best:
If you usually meet your sex partners online, consider taking a break from in-person dating. Video dates, sexting, subscription based fan platforms, and chat rooms may be options for you.
I'm thinking this may be a marketing scheme for generating income for the CDC or trump inc.

 

[Dribble]

I am starting to understand Pmann's risk question in his other thread...sometimes I can be pretty dense

 

[Lonelywife1205]

A good reminder for all the butt stuff lovers out there from the office of the mayor of Washington DC....

Rimming, or any sexual activity that involves putting the mouth on the butt/anus, might pass COVID-19. The virus has been found in feces

 

[hotwords229_A]

A good reminder for all the butt stuff lovers out there from the office of the mayor of Washington DC....

Rimming, or any sexual activity that involves putting the mouth on the butt/anus, might pass COVID-19. The virus has been found in feces

Who would know more about feces than the mayor of Washington DC?

 

[hotwords229_A]

What if we just did one big worldwide daisy chain? We would achieve global herd immunity in ten minutes.

(This idea is now online which pretty much makes it Science)

 

[alwaysaway]

What if we just did one big worldwide daisy chain? We would achieve global herd immunity in ten minutes.

(This idea is now online which pretty much makes it Science)

<Googles daisy chain>

 

[AmazingMammaryMan]

I do wonder if there has been an increase in sales of full gimp suits during the pandemic?

 

[Trixxii]

This is the content I'm here for.

IKR?! Good stuff!

What if we just did one big worldwide daisy chain? We would achieve global herd immunity in ten minutes.

(This idea is now online which pretty much makes it Science)

Makes me think of The Human Centipede.

 

[QuietCanadian]

3a and 3b are preferable to some.

Glory holes seem like a great way to spread it. I mean, dick goes into hole number 1. Mouth number 1 puts dick in their mouth. Dick then finds hole number 2, sticks itself into said hole. Mouth number 2 puts dick in mouth. Unbeknownst to mouth number 2, mouth number 1 has COVID! Dick is now the carrier to all the mouths.

I guess as long as your washing your hands after an encounter...

This is my favourite description of glory holes ever.

 

[Lord Pmann]

3a and 3b are preferable to some.

Glory holes seem like a great way to spread it. I mean, dick goes into hole number 1. Mouth number 1 puts dick in their mouth. Dick then finds hole number 2, sticks itself into said hole. Mouth number 2 puts dick in mouth. Unbeknownst to mouth number 2, mouth number 1 has COVID! Dick is now the carrier to all the mouths.

I guess as long as your washing your hands after an encounter...

I won’t lie... the amount of detail that you seem to have about the logistical operations of glory holes is a bit disturbing.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Can guys last more than one hole? I guess you're right. It's like sharing a lollipop, and that's a big no-no. So I guess it needs to be just 1 hole, and a lineup of men.

Yes. They can.

 

[alwaysaway]

This is my favourite description of glory holes ever.

I’ll submit it to the Oxford Dictionary and have them cross reference “Glory Hole” with “COVID”. You’re welcome

I won’t lie... the amount of detail that you seem to have about the logistical operations of glory holes is a bit disturbing.

Hashtag science.

Yes. They can.

How many times did he cum in your mouth before you realised it wasn’t multiple dicks?

 

[Lord Pmann]

How many times did he cum in your mouth before you realised it wasn’t multiple dicks?

That’s very presumptive to presume that was a man whose dick went through that hole. #NotJustMenHaveDicks

 

[Wife of Bath]

How many times did he cum in your mouth before you realised it wasn’t multiple dicks?

This is my favorite post.

 

[hotwords229_A]

How many times did he cum in your mouth before you realised it wasn’t multiple dicks?

 

[Taegul]

Wearing a face mask isn't really new. I mean, women have been insisting I wear a brown grocery bag for years.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Wearing a face mask isn't really new. I mean, women have been insisting I wear a brown grocery bag for years.

You may want to ask me about the gloryhole option. I am the resident expert, it appears.