Plot twist

[anthrodisiac]

Ah thanks I should have thought about all this, I think I kind of have a reason for the cop agreeing to pleasure the prosecutor if she just agree to the prosecutor's position it's not enough evidence the prosecutor could later lie and say that the proposition was fake and she was just trying to make the girl confess something or manipulate her for whatever reason but if the prosecutor did recieve sexual gratification there is no way to lie out of that it's solid evidence so she has to do it


Or there is another possibility or version for the story the revenge part is push to a more hard level

Hear me out, the girl agree to satisfy the prosecutor so she get on her knees and start getting to work it's her first time pleasuring a woman so she try to give her best and at the moment the prosecutor is ready to have an orgasm the girl stop what she was doing and reveal everything to the prosecutor that all this was a trap that she was undercover and that everything that happened had been recorded, but here the thing she wants more than to get the prosecutor arrested she want revenge and to destroy in the worst way possible, so after telling her everything she get out the room and signal to three police men that are loyal to her to get in the room and "take care" of the prosecutor, she erased the last part of the recording and only kept the part of the prosecutor's proposition, so she take revenge both with and outside the law.

Tell what you think I hope it's not too much or going too far

I mean, a story can go as far or not as you'd like, that level is entirely up to you. My point is more about making sure that the reasoning behind the cop going through with pleasuring the prosecutor has some internal character logic to it. I believe characters work best when there is an internal logic to their actions, so it feels like they're doing something because it's who they are, not because the author wants them to do it.

I poked around a bit into case law (this is US law, so it might be different depending on where the story is set) around sexual conduct by undercover officers and that confirmed that no cop really ought to be engaging in sex with potential arrestees as part of sting operations (though it can get a bit gray, just by a quick perusal on my part, which is by no means extensive). You might want to look into it a bit to get a sense of what your boundaries are, that might help give you some ideas around the reasoning for this female cop to engage sexually with the prosecutor. My guess is that the best reason is going to be extrajudicial in some way, not related to the case, but some revenge-type deal she's concocting that, for some reason, requires her to pleasure the prosecutor, or a morbid curiosity about what it would be like, or filmed as part of blackmail where you can't see the cop's face but you can see the prosecutor's and using that to exact some extrajudicial punishment (ex: forcing the prosecutor to give her money, getting leverage to put the prosecutor through humiliations and punishments of some kind, etc.).

Getting three cops to "take care" of the prosecutor on the basis that this shifts it pretty dark, and if you were to show that scene, you run into issues where Lit won't publish detailed scenes of non-con unless the victim gets some pleasure out of it, and that scenario feels like it would run afoul of that guideline. Plus, what's the motivation for those three cops to risk prison themselves for something that was done to another cop's sister? They'd have to have a real vigilante streak to be willing to risk their own careers and prison time to do so, so you're introducing three additional people you need to establish motivation for. It's doable, cop bonds are frequently portrayed as "sure, we'll go do fucked up stuff to avenge one of our own" in fiction, so you have less of a suspension of disbelief issue with that, but it kinda cuts against what you were originally going for and makes the female cop a lot less sympathetic and at least as bad as the prosecutor on a moral level if she gets three of her cop friends to do that. You'll need to ask yourself if that's the kind of story you're trying to write, because it feels like a big shift from what you originally had. But this is your story, and ultimately, all the decisions on how to handle this are entirely up to you.

 

[anthrodisiac]

By the way, you are also more than welcome to go, "Nah, I'm gonna do it the way I wanted to initially." This is just me giving feedback, and like all feedback, it just one person's opinion, which you are free to take or leave as you see fit. If you decide to ignore it all, doesn't hurt my feelings at all. This is your story after all, not mine

 

[TheLobster]

My story is about a girl who get arrested for trying to sell drugs, while being interrogated she gets the visits of a female prosecutor who give her a proposition she can lower the girl sentence but the girl have to please her if the girl refuse she will add on her sentence, the prosecutor is a lesbian who has a thing for straight girl, so in the story we will dive in what it must be like for a straight girl to please a woman for the first, so after the girl is done pleasing the prosecutor its reveal that the girl is in fact a cop that is undercover on a sting operation to arrest the female prosecutor, the girl did it out of revenge because one day her sister was arrested for something really basic but had to do 10 years of jail since she refused the proposition of the prosecutor

I was about to comment that since you're new to writing, you should start with the basics and (1) make sure you understand what a plot twist actually is; and (2) maybe not start with a story that contains one, because it's a notoriously difficult thing to pull off.

Your synopsis of the story, however, convinces me that you absolutely do know what a plot twist is, apparently more so than most people who posted in this thread. The crux isn't that it's simply an unexpected event that had some foreshadowing sprinkled in, but that the reveal of the twist percolates backwards in such a devastating fashion that it recontextualizes the meaning of the entire story up to this point (because, contrary to popular assumptions, twists don't have to occur close to the end). Your idea certainly exhibits this key characteristic, and if executed skillfully it would constitute a very satisfying twist.

'Skillfully' is the caveat here, though, and it's why my second point still holds. There are few things more difficult in writing (at least in the kind of pedestrian writing that we do here) than breadcrumbing a plot twist correctly. Worse, it's hard to do it even with help, because twists, by their very nature, essentially turn your beta readers into one-off, disposable lab rats. Unless you have an army of them, and you can pull a fresh one for each new revision; or have enough experience and instinct to simply know whether you're revealing too much or too little — yeah, I would think hard and fast whether I'd want to tackle a project like this.

Start small, and start simple. Your favorite idea will always be there to tackle later.

 

[Plume_Erotique]

By the way, you are also more than welcome to go, "Nah, I'm gonna do it the way I wanted to initially." This is just me giving feedback, and like all feedback, it just one person's opinion, which you are free to take or leave as you see fit. If you decide to ignore it all, doesn't hurt my feelings at all. This is your story after all, not mine

I really appreciate your feedbacks, and I won't ignore them I like when people give me their opinions it's always helpful to me

 

[Plume_Erotique]

I was about to comment that since you're new to writing, you should start with the basics and (1) make sure you understand what a plot twist actually is; and (2) maybe not start with a story that contains one, because it's a notoriously difficult thing to pull off.

Your synopsis of the story, however, convinces me that you absolutely do know what a plot twist is, apparently more so than most people who posted in this thread. The crux isn't that it's simply an unexpected event that had some foreshadowing sprinkled in, but that the reveal of the twist percolates backwards in such a devastating fashion that it recontextualizes the meaning of the entire story up to this point (because, contrary to popular assumptions, twists don't have to occur close to the end). Your idea certainly exhibits this key characteristic, and if executed skillfully it would constitute a very satisfying twist.

'Skillfully' is the caveat here, though, and it's why my second point still holds. There are few things more difficult in writing (at least in the kind of pedestrian writing that we do here) than breadcrumbing a plot twist correctly. Worse, it's hard to do it even with help, because twists, by their very nature, essentially turn your beta readers into one-off, disposable lab rats. Unless you have an army of them, and you can pull a fresh one for each new revision; or have enough experience and instinct to simply know whether you're revealing too much or too little — yeah, I would think hard and fast whether I'd want to tackle a project like this.

Start small, and start simple. Your favorite idea will always be there to tackle later.

You know I totally decided to follow your advice so I think I will leave my main story for now and start by writing short stories so I can get enough experience and be good enough to then write the big story I wanted to write initially

 

[FromManyOne]

My own first story here was deliberately simpler than my ambitious plans, FWIW. "Coffee With Blushes" is almost entirely dialogue, because I knew I was bad at dialogue and wanted to practice. It has three named characters, only two of them important.

I don't think it's totally successful, but it did make me a better writer, and seventeen people have favorited it (although some of that number presumably only put it on a reading list).