Please! I need computer help right now!

[TWB]

My computer has suddenly ripped out all of its wires and is madly dancing around my living room.

It is waking up the kids and neighbors, and it is only showing the porno I downloaded from germany.

HELP!

 

[Star of Penumbra]

Call the place you bought it from and swear a blue streak at them.

 

[TWB]

Call the place you bought it from and swear a blue streak at them.

I did, but their voicemail would only refer me to 1-800-Ghostbusta

 

[TheDR4KE]

My computer has suddenly ripped out all of its wires and is madly dancing around my living room.

It is waking up the kids and neighbors, and it is only showing the porno I downloaded from germany.

HELP!

Wow ... imagine if you had a beowolf cluster of these!

 

[TWB]

Now it is playing ragtime on my piano.

 

[Sillyman]

It's funny in that god-I-am-so-screwed kind of way.

 

[TWB]

I know what you mean.

*boink*

It just threw a CD at my head.

 

[Sillyman]

I believe mine is currently trying to kill me.

 

[TWB]

Or at least call a German hit man to come getcha.

 

[MechaBlade]

Cable Internet Tech Support:
Did you try rebooting your computer? Reboot your computer. Now again. Fuck, it is our fault again.

CompUSA Tech Support:
Club your computer and take it in to us for $90 (to look at it).
Oh, your problem can be fixed if you buy this part we sell.

eMachines Tech Support:
You bought one of computers? Why?
Dancing? I'm surprised it can walk!

Cathy Guisewite Tech Support:
Aaaack!

MechaBlade Tech Support:
Because your computer is dancing despite having ripped out its wires, it obviously has an internal power source, a mechanism for pulling its wires or actual biological muscles, and it has become self-aware. The best way to go about solving this problem is to kill the little bastard, after which you can figure what to do with the remains.

I suggest you take out the internal power source with some sort of bi-bladed mechanical sword that shoots streams of blue energy. If you don't have this valuable tool, any household hammer will do the trick.

 

[Sillyman]

Just wipe the damn registry and be done with it.