Pickup lines?

[Debbie]

We both know that I am going to follow you home anyway, so why don't you just come along peacefully?

 

[Finally_Single]

I know milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much have
you been drinking?

 

[PacificBlue]

What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper


LMAO!!!

 

[Finally_Single]

Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.

 

[PacificBlue]

Take a screw with you and put it in your pocket. Then, when a girl comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, "Wanna screw?"

 

[SimplySouthern]

Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.


Someone test this one out for me...please.

 

[PacificBlue]

*looks around* Me too, what'dya know!

I'm WAITING!!!

 

[PacificBlue]

Simply Southern is there a recent date you would like to tell us about?

OH GOODNESS!!!

 

[SimplySouthern]

I crack me up....

 

[Finally_Single]

Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!

 

[Finally_Single]

Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.

 

[PacificBlue]

Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you?

 

[Sephiroth]

"Those clothes look good on you."

"Of course, they'd look even better on my bedroom floor."

or

"Those clothes look good on you... But do you know what would look even better on you?"

"Me!"

 

[Finally_Single]

I have a six inch tongue and I can breathe through my ears.

 

[SimplySouthern]

I have a six inch tongue and I can breathe through my ears.

Bested only by a man who sits at the bar and licks his eyebrows.

 

[Sephiroth]

Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.

A slightly altered version:

"Do you wash your jeans in Windex?"

"Cause I can see myself in your pants."

 

[Finally_Single]

Bested only by a man who sits at the bar and licks his eyebrows.

What'll you say we make like Winnie-the-poo and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar.

 

[Sephiroth]

"Excuse me, can I borrow a quarter?"

"My mother told me to call her when I fell in love."

 

[Finally_Single]

If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?

 

[Finally_Single]

Wanna play "kite"? I lay down, you blow and we'll see how high you can make me.

 

[Sephiroth]

Here's a really dirty one for the more courageous guys:

From your seat get the attention of a girl and use the "come here" sign with your finger. When/If she walks over to you; Ask her this: "If I can make you come (cum) with one finger, what do think I can do with the rest of my body?"

 

[ChaoticLil]

Take a screw with you and put it in your pocket. Then, when a girl comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, "Wanna screw?"

Last year Wal-Mart had a promo going on. It was a Wizard of Oz tin with the Lollipop Guild on it, and inside were some suckers shaped in the form of heads. i had fun all summer going around asking people if they wanted a little head.

 

[Mensa]

Bad idea

Here's a really dirty one for the more courageous guys:

From your seat get the attention of a girl and use the "come here" sign with your finger. When/If she walks over to you; Ask her this: "If I can make you come (cum) with one finger, what do think I can do with the rest of my body?"

I tried that, and she told me what I could do with the rest of my body.....in no uncertain terms!!

Not only that but her suggestion was physically impossible.

 

[Azwed]

Bested only by a man who sits at the bar and licks his eyebrows.

Well I can't do that but I can touch my tongue past the tip of my nose and its a very long nose.

 

[SweetCherry]

Nice jeans. Can I talk ya out of 'em?