Personal Space Issues

[Calamity Jane]

For you, how close is to close?

Do you hang back in the grocery line, to avoid getting to close to someone else?

Do you feel claustrophobic in crowds?

Do you keep a seat between yourself and someone else at the movie theater if at all possible?

Does it seem like even those you love should back off just a little bit, and stop being so near all the time?

Do you feel that the need for personal boundaries means that you love/need/want your partners/friends/etc. less?

I'll freely admit that I have personal space issues. I don't really enjoy being touched for no apparent reason. When someone walks up and puts their arm around me to talk to me, I stiffen up immediately and start thinking of excuses to move away from the contact.

I avoid crowded places, especially if I'm not familiar with exit points.

Even with those I'm close to, I maintain a certain amount of physical and emotional space... I don't feel safe otehrwise.

Yes, I know I'm neurotic. I can't be the only one, right?

 

[TWB]

You have a magnetic personality.

I would stick to you.

 

[Jim_Henson]

The only time the space issue is excused is when I'm really sick/tired/exhausted in which case I'm liable to collapse on people.

 

[nitelite33]

Yeah...

I definately have a two square-foot zone that I do not like crossed by anyone except my HSO.

She can basically hang off my back like a monkey singing the Three's Company theme and it's cool ;D

 

[juicylips]

I know this probably scares you...but you just painted my emotional portrait.

 

[Calamity Jane]

I know this probably scares you...but you just painted my emotional portrait.

Say it ain't so!!!!

j/k

I suspect a lot of us are more similar than we'd imagine.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I hate when random people touch me...if I am sleeping with you, or would like to sleep with you, touch me all you like; otherwise, back up, chump!

 

[Guest]

I suspect a lot of us are more similar than we'd imagine.

There's no accident that we meander among the same herds.

 

[Calamity Jane]

I wanna meander with you.

 

[Guest]

Ok! You make the lemonade and I'll park my ass on the porch swing.

 

[Calamity Jane]

You have a magnetic personality.

I would stick to you.

It's impossible. My magnetic field shifts to be the same as a potential partner's. I eventually repel them.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Ok! You make the lemonade and I'll park my ass on the porch swing.

you got it darlin.

 

[virgin_rose]

i used to have the same issue...

but not anymore... i guess i just grew out of it...

 

[SaucyWench]

I don't have personal space issues, except for in elevators or small places, then I hyperventilate and sweat. If I feel someone is invading my space at any particular moment, I move away, push them away or give them dirty looks and pass gas to make them move.

 

[Jim_Henson]

Lil one, what about me?

 

[capricious_chic]

I can relate to your whole post PCG, and I do not think you are neurotic.

In my upbringing, it was unnatural and unwelcome to show affection. No light pecks for hello and goodbye. No hugs of welcome. I didn't realize that people actually did this until I got older and observed such in other households.

As I have matured and experienced more, my personal space needs have decreased. When I was twenty or so, I absolutely had to have a certain amount of physical and emotional space from those around me. Those that didn't accomodate me in this, were quickly shuttled out of my life. The thing that changed this, with me, is having children. Once you have children, there is NO personal space. None, zero, zilch. Unless of course, I wanted to repeat my own upbringing. It wasn't in my heart to do that. I have discovered that I enjoy giving and receiving affection. That I can nurture this part of my pysche without losing the part of me that makes up who I am. That it is isn't always safe, but so very worth it in the long run. I am more open to hurt now, but so much more open to love as well. I am 30ish now, and I still am very uncomfortable in crowded places. I don't like complete strangers standing too close to me. I don't like aquaintances to come up and hug me and kiss me on the check in greeting, although I have learned to tolerate it and can still smile at them afterwards and not hold it against them for being so open and sweet. I don't always want to "cuddle" with my mate, but know that he has a need for it. He also understands my need for space, and respects it. It is a give and take, and dependent upon our respective moods at the time we are usually able to accomodate each other. It doesn't mean that we love those around us less, it just means that we are all different in how we express our feelings and love with another. Unique, wonderful, individual, and that's what makes us who we are and makes others want to know us.

 

[Calamity Jane]

If I feel someone is invading my space at any particular moment, I pass gas to make them move.

That explains so much.

 

[April]

I can't stand for strangers to touch me. Was in a BX just before Christmas, and everyone was bumping into each other and acting like uncivilized savages. I finally broke, and begged to leave. If one more person had touched me, I would have either screamed at them or smacked them.

I'm just not a toucher. But I'm trying to change that with my friends.

 

[SaucyWench]

That explains so much.

*big silly grin*

 

[Calamity Jane]

I can relate to your whole post PCG, and I do not think you are neurotic.

In my upbringing, it was unnatural and unwelcome to show affection. No light pecks for hello and goodbye. No hugs of welcome. I didn't realize that people actually did this until I got older and observed such in other households.

My upbringing was very affectionate. There wasn't a whole lot of anything to go around, but I never doubted the love and support of my mother and stepfather.

As I have matured and experienced more, my personal space needs have decreased.

<snip>

Once you have children, there is NO personal space. None, zero, zilch.

I have two of my own. They're exempt from the space issues. Which is good, since I seem to double as a jungle gym.

<snip>

 

[Calamity Jane]

Lil one, what about me?

I'm trying to figure out how someone who sleeps til noon could be so tired they'd collapse on someone.

 

[Jim_Henson]

You forgot the two consecutive 8 hour drives I had, and of course the no sleep before I got to you.

Actually I'm wondering why I didnt collapse on you when I got there

 

[Calamity Jane]

I can't stand for strangers to touch me. Was in a BX just before Christmas, and everyone was bumping into each other and acting like uncivilized savages. I finally broke, and begged to leave. If one more person had touched me, I would have either screamed at them or smacked them.

Bourbon Street the Sat before Mardi Gras when the stippers decide to give window shows. Trapped in the crowd, with no sense of direction and completely unable to move, with a HUGE man screaming at me to get the fuck out of his way.

I've never been so close to actually losing my mind in my life.

 

[Cleopatra]

I seem to vary with my personal space issues. Sometimes when I'm sick or annoyed, anyone around me can bug me and force me to enforce my 3 ft of personal space. Other times when I'm happy and/or relaxed, I don't seem to care. Hmmm.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Actually I'm wondering why I didnt collapse on you when I got there

Me too.