/personal rants.. not board related.

[freakygirl]

I've hit a point in my life that sex bores me.... not with myself but with the man I currently love. I have no desire to be touched by him in a sexual manner. I love the hand holding, the quick kisses when we pass in the hallway, the way he kisses me before bed.. but the minute anything sexual starts..I get bored.

I guess the truth is.. sex hurts... physical pain. I know.. "go to the doctor".. I dpn't have any medical insurance.. I'm employed by the state.. but they don't offer medical to people in my line of work. I don't qualify for state medical (welfare) because I have to much money, but to buy private insurance it would be to expensive for me.


I don't know if I'll hit send on this or not.. I really don't know what I'm saying.. I'm just confused and tired of not being turned on. I have guilt sex.. because he wants it.. and I'm afraid he will be angry if we don't do it. I've talked to him.. but he is a man (sorry guys.. don't flame me) and he thinks sex is the cure all.


I really do love him.. and really want to be back to where we were last year..

ok.. enough babbling

let this thread drop to page 44467.. it really serves no purpose except I got it off my chest.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

*hugs*

 

[Zamdrist]

Might I make a humble suggestion?

Assuming your SO is aware of the problem, well whether or not he is - Would it be beneficial to relieve sexual tensions by masturbating in front of each other? That might resolve the pain issue, avoiding deep penetration.

Sure, your mileage may be short lived, but it may help fill the gap until the problem is resolved?

Humbly yours,

Zamdrist

 

[bored1]

I understand about not having insurance as Im in the same boat.But if your having pain during sex then something is not right and it should be checked out.....As a man if my SO told me sex was painful I would want to know why, as I would be concerned for her health and would not want to cause her any unnescessary pain.............Good Luck........

 

[Calamity Jane]

I've hit a point in my life that sex bores me.... not with myself but with the man I currently love. I have no desire to be touched by him in a sexual manner. I love the hand holding, the quick kisses when we pass in the hallway, the way he kisses me before bed.. but the minute anything sexual starts..I get bored.


me too

I guess the truth is.. sex hurts... physical pain. I know.. "go to the doctor".. I dpn't have any medical insurance..

I don't qualify for state medical (welfare) because I have to much money, but to buy private insurance it would be to expensive for me.

ditto

I don't know if I'll hit send on this or not.. I really don't know what I'm saying.. I'm just confused and tired of not being turned on. I have guilt sex.. because he wants it.. and I'm afraid he will be angry if we don't do it. I've talked to him.. but he is a man (sorry guys.. don't flame me) and he thinks sex is the cure all.

yup

Darlin, I know where you're comin from. Completely. If you wanna talk, MSN me, ok?

And I have to share this, cuz it's just too weird not to. I had a dream last night that I was sitting in my chair, smokin a cigarette, and this was the first thread I saw when I logged on. Damn near ver batim. I thought I was dreaming of an old thread that I hadn't posted to, but that was totally applicable to my life.

 

[freakygirl]

Thank you for the advice everyone.. and Willing and Usure thank you for the hug.. very appreciated.

As far as my SO "not caring" he does.. to a point. He told me to go to the doc a few days ago.. we'd pay for it in cash. He says he understands.. but I guess in the back of my little mind.. I don't think he does. (he has never really indicated to me that he doesn't care.. )

I feel guilty if I tell him no. He has to know something is up.. sometimes I don't get wet at all.. Lube needs to be used for him to even enter me. I feel like this should tell him I'm not into it... yet he continues.

I guess I need to sit down and talk to him.. heart to heart.. and tell him my fears.. (I'm a nurse..an OB nurse at that) I know what painful intercourse and horrible periods mean.. I know what illnesses are associated with my symptoms..


That scares me.

 

[lilminx]

I don't have any advice for you, FG, as I have never been in that boat, but I do want to add my support. I'm here if you ever want to talk.

 

[freakygirl]

Minxy.. thanks

I appreciate it..

 

[SweetBrat73]

Most doctor offices will have payment options if you can't pay it all at once. All you have to do is set it up before you're seen.

And yes you should have a heart to heart talk with him. If you're not getting wet at all and he has to use lube most of the time he should notice that and take your feelings into account...not just his own. This is only hurting you worse.

I hope things get better for you soon!!! *hugs*


Brat

 

[Gilly Bean]

Freaky... you mentioned that you are an OB nurse, so I am presuming you work around a few OB docs. Are there any that you feel comfortable talking to about the problem? If there are, you might be able to find one who can talk it over with you, without having to make an appt, and perhaps even suggest a few things to try, then, if those don't work, try getting seen by a place that will accept payment plans. Don't let it sit and wait, becaause the agony of not knowing can be worse then the diagnosis.

 

[freakygirl]

Freaky... you mentioned that you are an OB nurse, so I am presuming you work around a few OB docs. Are there any that you feel comfortable talking to about the problem? If there are, you might be able to find one who can talk it over with you, without having to make an appt, and perhaps even suggest a few things to try, then, if those don't work, try getting seen by a place that will accept payment plans. Don't let it sit and wait, becaause the agony of not knowing can be worse then the diagnosis.

I'm not currently working as a nurse. I only had one year into actually working in the field before I had to take a leave of absence. I'm an in home care giver now, for my disabled mother.

I'm doing alot of reading and talking with Pagencowgirl about it.. I'm going to call the doc that delivered my children (and the one I had worked for) tomorrow. He let me make payments when I had my first child.. maybe he will let me do it again.

Thank you everyone for your comments.. and suggestions

 

[nasty]

Sorry about your sexual frustrations, baby. I know how ya feel, because, I don't even have an SO. And, with Spina Bifida, it's even hard to gratify myself. Life can be a pian in the ass. You just gotta grin and bare it, even if it's nearly impossible.

 

[LukkyKnight]

Well, if you know enough to be concerned, then you know that knowing would be better than worrying.... right? Be up front with the SO, tell him something's wrong, get checked, and go from there.

 

[Juspar Emvan]

FG, there's probably nothing I can offer you, but anytime you want to talk . . .

 

[freakygirl]

FG, there's probably nothing I can offer you, but anytime you want to talk . . .

Juspar.. You could do alot for me.. only part of it would be with your mouth

Ok flirting aside.. Thank you.. that means alot.

 

[Juspar Emvan]

Juspar.. You could do alot for me.. only part of it would be with your mouth

*Grin* take care you

 

[april-wine]

Let me lend an ear if you need it girl.......anytime.......hugs....april

 

[RhumbRunner13]

Not wet?

"And yes you should have a heart to heart talk with him. If you're not getting wet at all and he has to use lube most of the time he should notice that and take your feelings into account...not just his own. "

I agree, but remember, men are human too and often get their "feelings" hurt. Could some of his seemed lack of concern be his erroneous belief that you "Just don't care anymore"?

I don't know your age, but could you be starting the process of menopause? Sympyoms sound right, don't they?

RhumbRunner

 

[freakygirl]

Re: Not wet?

"And yes you should have a heart to heart talk with him. If you're not getting wet at all and he has to use lube most of the time he should notice that and take your feelings into account...not just his own. "

I agree, but remember, men are human too and often get their "feelings" hurt. Could some of his seemed lack of concern be his erroneous belief that you "Just don't care anymore"?

I don't know your age, but could you be starting the process of menopause? Sympyoms sound right, don't they?

RhumbRunner

I talked to him tonight.. he thought it was "i wasn't in love with him anymore". He has been worried that my lack of sexual desire was because I had lost interest . I told him in a way I did. It hurts most of the time.. and in my mind I am always worried it will hurt..so I'm not able to enjoy it.

He fully understood and told me to call the doc.. I'm going to do that in the morning

Rhumbrunner.. I'm 33.. menopause could be the problem. My mom was young when she started going through it (not this young.. but in her forties anyway)

 

[nasty]

Re: Re: Not wet?

Rhumbrunner.. I'm 33

The hell you say. When you called me young for 22, I'm thinking, ok. She's 25-26. 33? Don't lie too the board.

 

[sch00lteacher]

freakygurl32

I don't know where you are, but I bet there is one near you anyhow. I am talking about Planned Parenthood clinics. They do a lot of free work with women, most of it isn't about abortions either. I think they also may use the sliding scale payment thing, you pay what you can afford.

I used to know the director of a clinic quite well, her husband was one of my professors, and became a friend.

If it has anything to do with the female reproductive organs they may be able to help. It is worth a shot. Try the yellow pages and a phone call, the worst that could happen is they say no, you've lost nothing.

 

[omourfi]

.

 

[LadyDarkFire]

FreakyGurl, that must be very scary to go through. I hope that everything turns out to be all right, or easily and relatively painlessly solved.

To add on to sch00lteacher:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

 

[estevie]

Freaky, you've gotten some great advice here. I have nothing to add except this.


What does a blonde say after having multiple orgasms?



















Good work, team!




If ya need to talk, you know where to find me!

 

[freakygirl]

Nasty.. August 29, 1968 is my birthdate.. you do the math.. it's 33 (no matter how many times I try to make it 23 instead)

Schoolteacher.. I would use planned parenthood for something like this, but I think for my own peace of mind I would rather go to the doc that knows my body. He delivered my kids.. I've been his patient for over 15 years.. but the advice is great. As far as being able to afford it, that isn't (really) the problem. I just don't want to touch the inheritance money if it all possible. (saving that for a down payment on a house). I discussed it with my SO and he said to do it.. and we can "pay it back" in monthly installments rather than paying the doc monthly.

omurfi..I'm not on any medication. I am currently on a weight loss program but this started way before that.

LadyDarkFire...Thank you

Estevie.. lmao.. ummm I don't get that joke.. could you please explain it to me..