Personal Ad Recommendations?

[Netzach]

*giggles* they're hard to find but out there.

most of my success has been luck to be honest.

I wasn't really looking and I found some kinky friends in a shop that was willing to sell costumes for me.

I wasn't looking and I found my love across the ocean looking at my pics.

I wasn't looking and found a friend who lives close and has an amazing accent reading my stories and posts.

When I was looking I found a lot of asshats and married men looking for a slut on the side.

I'm with EB, these things just take time. It's like finding a needle in a haystack, you have to do a lot of searching to find a trace of what you want. Weed out the weirdos and creeps (which the fraze "sub looking" tends to bring out) until you accendentally stumble onto some one who's free and not insane (or at least just sane enough ). Other than tryal and error I'm not sure how you expect to find anyone. Trust me if there were some magical website that hooked lonely subbies up with single wanting regonally accessable dom I's make a fortune selling the addy.

This post is gold. No matter who you are and no matter what you are looking for.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I must add that the beauty of something like collarme or alt is that the smart guy who can turn a phrase stands out in stunning relief.

I found a fantastic D on collarme just last week.

Just turned out to be too, too different in 1 major respect.

But Id been doing collarme for more than a year before I found him...

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I am still confused and pissed off but that can't be altered only increased.

If youre determined to behave/converse this way, I'm going to have to pass on continuing our conversation.

I have two ex husbands

Now theres a surprise.

 

[Betticus]

Ebonyfire - Hmm. Define highbrow?? I dunno... just ..um.. highbrow. Bit more sophisticated than the typical lot of males that seem to send of form letters to every single female that logs in.

Sweetdomes - LOL, good quote.

Shy slave - Your question about my being dominant and wanting a dominant is a tangent I am not willing to address in this thread. Its too time consuming - not to mention unrelated to the OP. Perhaps another time.

Regarding Englishmen (I did not say UK and there is a difference) - I never said they were all perfect. I happen to prefer them. Much the same as I dont prefer the men of the country I live in. Im entitled to both opinions, as far as I know.

Ive clearly mentioned having used collarme and alt in the past. Which is an indication I do not look down on the sites themselves, or their purpose, but rather the massive group of men who go on there and proposition every single female they can find - and start off with "Hi, Slave, I will beat you until you cant stand up anymore and then I will force you to suck every cock in the room, including your brothers'.

I've gotten a lot of that.

Not my style.

If you are still confused, pissed off, whathaveyou, Im afraid this is as good as it gets.

I've never sent a message like that on collarme. I refuse to begin any kind of conversation or greeting with bdsm. My major complaint about collarme is that there are so many bitches on there that are looking for some guy to cyber with. The ones that expect you to give them a cheap cyber thrill.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

There is one rather obvious solution no one has mentioned yet.

Relocate to a country that has a BDSM scene more to your liking.

Germany has a huge fetish community, as do Austria and France and England.

Dont really want to have to give my career up - or start over with it.

England I would do in a heartbeat, because it would be easy to continue my career there, but it is VERY difficult for Americans to move there legally. You cant just pop in and set up house.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Yes, I have to agree. What's the harm in traveling at the minimum?

When Mpls with it's sizeable and active scene feels a little cramped I head out somewhere else.

I also can't imagine what Eastern European nation is a nation of pussies, it has me intrigued. A lot of the Chicago Doms I know are of EE extraction and they're not pussies.

Being of extraction is not the same thing as being born and raised here.

They arent pussies. They just value passivity. And frown on displays of passion (dont misunderstand this - I really mean PASSION, not just kissing. These people suck face in public, have sex in public, etc, etc - they just put as much effort into it as they might reading a newspaper), temper, excitement, etc. A lot. They overintellectualize it.

And Ive lived here 5 years and have a pretty good understanding of the culture now I know why they do it, and I can even understand it. But that doesnt change the fact that I cant be bothered with a passive man. There are other reasons I dont date natives. Its not really worth explaining why - the explanation is too complex. Suffice it to say I need to find what I want somehow else (such poor grammar that was) and prefer not to move, because I am plenty content where I am.

I would move if Mr. Perfect showed up, but that is highly unlikely, obviously.

This is not the US where you can travel state to state and set up house. You cannot just go cross a border and move in. Travelling is quite different from relocation.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

When I was looking I found a lot of asshats and married men looking for a slut on the side.

Yep, most of the non-creepy ones have been married and looking for entertainment.

*sigh*

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I've never sent a message like that on collarme. I refuse to begin any kind of conversation or greeting with bdsm. My major complaint about collarme is that there are so many bitches on there that are looking for some guy to cyber with. The ones that expect you to give them a cheap cyber thrill.

Yeah, not really into cyber. At all. I havent been hit up for cyber, but have gotten loads of the type I mentioned earlier.

I must have that kind of aura.

 

[Betticus]

Yeah, not really into cyber. At all. I havent been hit up for cyber, but have gotten loads of the type I mentioned earlier.

I must have that kind of aura.

For received messages mine are usually very polite and from people who just want to say hi and chat a bit.

That's usually just what I send out. I'd have to go and stab myself in the eyes with toothpicks if I were to try introducing myself as some kind of "Master" and demanding obedience and worship. I don't even like that kind of stuff in real life.

On the other hand I have a couple of female friends with collarme accounts and one I was screening for her for a couple of days until I couldn't stand to see any more of those kinds of messages you are talking about. The profile even stated right at the top that it was being screened but that only slowed it down a bit. It was really pathetic.

There are some nice people on there but the assholes seem to far outnumber anyone else.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

On the other hand I have a couple of female friends with collarme accounts and one I was screening for her for a couple of days until I couldn't stand to see any more of those kinds of messages you are talking about. The profile even stated right at the top that it was being screened but that only slowed it down a bit. It was really pathetic.

There are some nice people on there but the assholes seem to far outnumber anyone else.

Thats so what Im talking about.

Just makes me rather not even go on there.

Which is why Im asking if anyone knows of any other more highbrowish websites for meeting.

As opposed to meating.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Hmmm, I am still stumped on what country you could be speaking of and I am living in Europe, have travelled across a lot of it by car, and am married to a European who has much more class than most English, American and Oz guys put together!! Just where is this place where they suck face and have sex in public....where I am springs to mind, but it isn't everywhere everyday and is not Central Europe?!!

One other things which puzzles me is you keep insisting the people just are not D/s inclined as in they do not like displays of D/s or passion and yet you say there are ProDommes which means someone obviously is interested and surely it can't be all the Americans unhappily earning their living in this country none of us can figure out the name of. As for ads and getting unsavoury replies....like most have said, that happens anywhere and it is your job to look through them and find the better ones you might find to your standard. I also think that a lot of it can be how you word your own ad and your approach....my ads were very direct, very clear, and though I was flooded with replies, most were well mannered and rarely a dick pic did I get thank goodness. Mind you, if you show your dislike for this country and its people, and given your strong feelings about it I am sure you cannot hde it well, no Dom in your neighbourhood is going to lower himself to approach you for any reason. You could be cutting your own throat with your attitude because if there are so many subs around, it is not unheard of they would introduce another sub of whatever gender to the local scene, underground or visible.

All I can say is if you do give us the name of this mysterious place, I can see a flight planned and booked by a hoard of Dommes who are having trouble finding male subs to go to where the pickings are so densely populated...sort of like having all your subs in one place, just taking your pick!!

Catalina

 

[the captians wench]

This post is gold. No matter who you are and no matter what you are looking for.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Hmmm, I am still stumped on what country you could be speaking of and I am living in Europe, have travelled across a lot of it by car, and am married to a European who has much more class than most English, American and Oz guys put together!! Just where is this place where they suck face and have sex in public....where I am springs to mind, but it isn't everywhere everyday and is not Central Europe?!!

One other things which puzzles me is you keep insisting the people just are not D/s inclined as in they do not like displays of D/s or passion and yet you say there are ProDommes which means someone obviously is interested and surely it can't be all the Americans unhappily earning their living in this country none of us can figure out the name of. As for ads and getting unsavoury replies....like most have said, that happens anywhere and it is your job to look through them and find the better ones you might find to your standard. I also think that a lot of it can be how you word your own ad and your approach....my ads were very direct, very clear, and though I was flooded with replies, most were well mannered and rarely a dick pic did I get thank goodness. Mind you, if you show your dislike for this country and its people, and given your strong feelings about it I am sure you cannot hde it well, no Dom in your neighbourhood is going to lower himself to approach you for any reason. You could be cutting your own throat with your attitude because if there are so many subs around, it is not unheard of they would introduce another sub of whatever gender to the local scene, underground or visible.

All I can say is if you do give us the name of this mysterious place, I can see a flight planned and booked by a hoard of Dommes who are having trouble finding male subs to go to where the pickings are so densely populated...sort of like having all your subs in one place, just taking your pick!!

Catalina

I work all over Central Europe and have done for the last 5 years. Where I live is exactly in the center. And that will have to suffice for clues. Sex is very easy to get and give in this country. Just not the kind Im interested in.


The natives are a very proud and very intellectual people. If you raise your voice in public you are literally considered nuts. If you show you have a temper, same thing. Even if you do it on a mild scale. They think the Italians are naturally crazy - so much so when people get loud or excitable they actually call it 'making italy'.

No kidding.

 

[Netzach]

The natives are a very proud and very intellectual people. If you raise your voice in public you are literally considered nuts. If you show you have a temper, same thing. Even if you do it on a mild scale. They think the Italians are naturally crazy - so much so when people get loud or excitable they actually call it 'making italy'.



In fact, to tell someone "I love you" is considered so strong you almost never hear it. People "in love" only tell one another they LIKE each other.

You're in Norway????

 

[IsabellaSnow]

No, I wouldnt call Norway Central Europe - Id call it Scandinavia or Northern Europe.

And no more guessing, I will never confirm it either way.

 

[ShyGuy68]

Thanks.

I know myself - very well.

I havent settled thus far - which is why I am still looking.

Time is something I have already invested much of, you have nooo idea.

There isnt a bdsm community here. There are no munches.

And this is the problem.

There *isnt* a way to meet anyone!



Which is why Im asking for recs on where to meet online.

Anyone?

I so know the feeling! Being single and into BDSM myself, I too have a hard time finding out where to go to meet equal minded. There is a local bdsm club in my area, but I have to admit that I really don't feel like going there alone.

Unfortunately I'm not an sexy englishman ......

 

[Netzach]

No, I wouldnt call Norway Central Europe - Id call it Scandinavia or Northern Europe.

And no more guessing, I will never confirm it either way.

Despite the USA's abysmal reputation with geography knowledge, I know this. It seems the above transcends geography or at least jumps around a lot.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Despite the USA's abysmal reputation with geography knowledge, I know this. It seems the above transcends geography or at least jumps around a lot.

It seems what transcends geography?? Norway??

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Unfortunately I'm not an sexy englishman ......

Perhaps they dont really exist??

 

[ShyGuy68]

Perhaps they dont really exist??

You could always ask shyslave

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Just from the few clues presented and what culture assumptions I am making based on what passes for information about other nations here in the US of A, I'll take a stab at the country and guess Switzerland. Uber polite people, neighbors of Italy, Germany, Austria and France... pretty Central in my book. I would eliminate most former Warsaw Pact nations as "Eastern European". The nations of the country once known as Yugoslavia (the Balkans) are too far South...

*grins and shrugs*

Oh well.

I won't claim to be "highbrow" by any stretch of the imagination, but I think I have a fairly decent "personal ad" ... Slightly edited (for re-structuring) this is pretty much straight from my profile on collarme:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=475075

 

[JMohegan]

Why do you want a D if you are not a sub?

An excellent question, Shy.

Your question about my being dominant and wanting a dominant is a tangent I am not willing to address in this thread. Its too time consuming - not to mention unrelated to the OP. Perhaps another time.

Her question is directly relevant to your search process, no matter where you conduct it.

I went looking to see how you introduced yourself to this board, and here's what I found:

I'm a published erotic romance author - I specialize in capture/forced seduction novels.

Lots of gags, blindfolds, ropes, biting, etc. It would fall under the reluctance/non-consent genre here.

Personally speaking, I'm a D but my romantic relationships are D/d. Me being the latter. Some people have trouble working that out - but I promise it's a real thing, LOL!

Just because I'm a dominant female doesn't mean I don't want someone to try and dominate me in bed.

Key word being try...

You've got to earn it, baby!

I do not know a single experienced Dom who would be drawn to someone seeking a "D/d" relationship.

Occasionally I do see guys popping up and saying things like: "Wouldn't it be awesome to dom a DOMME!!!!!" But they always sound to me like the hetero guys who say: "Wouldn't it be awesome to fuck a real lesbian!!!!" And there seems to be a fundamental insecurity behind this type of urge that is directly contradictory to the self-confidence you say you seek.

I'm not saying that what you seek is wrong or misguided or impossible to find. And of course, your definitions of both the capital and lower case letters in "D/d" may be different from others'. All fair enough.

The problem I see is that, as you said to Shy, it would be "time consuming" to explain what you seek, and why.

In theory, I suppose it's possible that one of the Dominants I know would be willing to expend the time and effort working through this type of puzzle. But frankly, the woman in question would have to be standing right in front of him, and looking mighty fine.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Its irrelevant because the purpose of this thread was only to ask for suggestions on websites for meeting D/s, M/s minded people.

It wasnt about analyzing me and trying to figure out why I want what I want.

I am dominant by nature. I do not strive to be this way, I simply am this way. But that doesnt mean I am necessarily turned on by controlling a man. I am not. At all. In my relationships, the man leads. If he cant, theres no relationship.

You want to discuss with me personally - which you dont, or you would have by now - feel free. But lets stop chasing me around to harrass me about it, shall we?

Its not something explained in one sentence - and surely not something I have to justify on a board where far more unsual things are widely accepted without question.

I don't judge - and I expect the same respect in return.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Just from the few clues presented and what culture assumptions I am making based on what passes for information about other nations here in the US of A, I'll take a stab at the country and guess Switzerland. Uber polite people, neighbors of Italy, Germany, Austria and France... pretty Central in my book. I would eliminate most former Warsaw Pact nations as "Eastern European". The nations of the country once known as Yugoslavia (the Balkans) are too far South...

*grins and shrugs*

Oh well.

I won't claim to be "highbrow" by any stretch of the imagination, but I think I have a fairly decent "personal ad" ... Slightly edited (for re-structuring) this is pretty much straight from my profile on collarme:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=475075

Not all former soviet bloc countries are in Eastern Europe.

If you divide in that way, Austria would fall under East - with Vienna practically touching Bratislava and both being further east than I am right now.

CH and F would be Western Europe, IMHO.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Its irrelevant because the purpose of this thread was only to ask for suggestions on websites for meeting D/s, M/s minded people.

It wasnt about analyzing me and trying to figure out why I want what I want.

I am dominant by nature. I do not strive to be this way, I simply am this way. But that doesnt mean I am necessarily turned on by controlling a man. I am not. At all. In my relationships, the man leads. If he cant, theres no relationship.

You want to discuss with me personally - which you dont, or you would have by now - feel free. But lets stop chasing me around to harrass me about it, shall we?

Its not something explained in one sentence - and surely not something I have to justify on a board where far more unsual things are widely accepted without question.

I don't judge - and I expect the same respect in return.

You got an answer from me and you were rude and dismissive. What do you expect?

And as for not judging. You replies are dripping with judgment. Which brings me to state the obvous.

Maybe it is not the websites. Maybe it is the content of your personal ads themselves.

Eb