Peregrinator, Rest in Peace

[IrezumiKiss]

We gathered under a big tent as the sky gently cried. Family and friends shared stories of Perg's remarkable life, of a man equal parts gentle soul and obstinate ass. I hugged Lady Perg. One of his lifelong friends penned this eulogy, and I wanted to share it with you:

Things I Learned From [Peregrinator]

Learn greedily, and teach generously.

Feeling sad? Go outside.

Take a long walk, observe nature carefully, and be filled with wonder and gratitude.

Listen to music. Not as the background to some chore, but as a prayer, a meditation on humanity's ability to create transcendent beauty.

Read, broadly and deeply, as a way to better understand the world and yourself.

Be kind. Be honest, too, but kind first and last.

Travel. Travel more. Keep traveling.

Remember that if things aren't quite going your way, you're having an adventure.

Embrace being a work in progress.

Above all, forgive yourself, and let regret be the most fleeting of emotions.

Just might print this out.

Thanks.

 

[spacekowboy]

That is a mantra we should all live by.

 

[LukSkyFokker]

Gottdamn that was beautiful. Thank you for sharing this, Misch. His friend spoke lovely words.

 

[HungryJoe]

I'll be happy to post the text of the entire eulogy if anyone is interested.

 

[rockcasbah]

Not for me.
But people have different styles of relationships. What works for them, is their business.
Lying about a relationship status is scum.

Agree Pete did hide, but Des was quite clear in his first incarnation that he was married and with a small child. Perg also did not hide his marriage, once he was married.

I think that answers my question re lower case pete….so pete was scum, Des and Perg not scum?

 

[LukSkyFokker]

Don't worry, lil lace, you are still King Scum.

 

[Dribble]

We gathered under a big tent as the sky gently cried. Family and friends shared stories of Perg's remarkable life, of a man equal parts gentle soul and obstinate ass. I hugged Lady Perg. One of his lifelong friends penned this eulogy, and I wanted to share it with you:

Things I Learned From [Peregrinator]

Learn greedily, and teach generously.

Feeling sad? Go outside.

Take a long walk, observe nature carefully, and be filled with wonder and gratitude.

Listen to music. Not as the background to some chore, but as a prayer, a meditation on humanity's ability to create transcendent beauty.

Read, broadly and deeply, as a way to better understand the world and yourself.

Be kind. Be honest, too, but kind first and last.

Travel. Travel more. Keep traveling.

Remember that if things aren't quite going your way, you're having an adventure.

Embrace being a work in progress.

Above all, forgive yourself, and let regret be the most fleeting of emotions.

A gift

 

[rockcasbah]

Don't worry, lil lace, you are still King Scum.

( points and laughs )

 

[LukSkyFokker]

( points and laughs )

Congrats on finally being able to afford a mirror.

 

[Lorilei]

I'll be happy to post the text of the entire eulogy if anyone is interested.

I would love that.

 

[HungryJoe]

I would love that.

Thank you all for being here to help to remember and celebrate the life of [Perg]. It’s wonderful – though unsurprising – to see how many folks have come to
pay their respects to him. Some of you are family, some of you are friends, but we all loved [Perg]. Today, we will talk and remember, laugh together, cry together.
We’ll share our stories of [Perg] being [Perg] -- hopeless practical jokester, loyal friend, the life of every party.

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m [HungryJoe]. I met [Perg] in college. He was my flatmate’s boyfriend, so he was really my roommate, too.
When we were first getting to know each other, I remember thinking, “Wow. This guy is a lot.” He had a knack for inviting people to hang out at our apartment
just when I really needed to study, and there were so many practical jokes. Overly-serious college sophomore [HungryJoe] often bristled at him,
but over the past 35 years, we became and stayed the closest of friends.

[Perg] lived a remarkable and accomplished life. He did things that many – most – of us would dismiss out of hand as unattainable. In 2005, he traveled with the
Harvard Mountaineering Club to a remote and profoundly isolated part of the Central Borkoldoy Mountain Range in Kyrgyzstan as the expedition medic.
He summitted – all by himself – a 15,000 foot mountain that had never before seen human footprints. It is now known as Peak [Peregrinator].

Not everyone can – or would – name a mountain after themselves, but don’t get the wrong idea about him: many of his accomplishments, his adventures,
were in service of others. I can’t say enough about this. One of his first jobs after graduating from college was teaching at Riverside School in
Lowell, Massachusetts, where he worked with at-risk youths who were often survivors of the worst kinds of neglect and abuse. It was a difficult job,
but he loved it, and it was his first experience with teaching, which would become a theme and passion for the rest of his life.

He served his country as a member of the armed forces, which -- in true [Perg] style -- he joined just as he was about to age out of eligibility.
Working with infantrymen often 20 years his junior, he could easily have been a fish out of water, but [Perg] related easily to everyone, and he quickly
became the well-respected leader of his mortar team.

He served the people of Haiti, volunteering to provide medical care in the wake of the cataclysmic earthquake that struck there in 2010.
He supported, stood with and healed protestors at Standing Rock in 2015. He was always ready to head out on mountain search-and-rescue missions whenever
the call came. He also served nature, transporting wounded animals to rehabilitation facilities.

He’s also nearly single-handedly responsible for a certain allergy-ridden, asthmatic couch potato becoming a rock climber, confident solo hiker and all-around
enthusiast for adventure and the outdoors.

But is there anything more remarkable than that over the course of several decades, he found, then lost, and found again his soulmate? If I’d seen it in a book,
I would have wondered how I came to be reading a Nicholas Sparks novel. But it’s true, and it has afforded me a measure of hope, even when life has been most
trying, when the chaos of the world has been most pressing, that two people, both so kind, and generous, and good found each other, strengthened each other,
and loved each other.

As I said earlier, today is about us being together. Tomorrow is when the hard part begins: living with the continuing, every day realization that he is gone.
Time and grieving have a way of blunting the pain, slowly. Time will pass, grief will recede, memories will soften, and as it is often and simply said,
life will go on. That’s not to say that any one of us will ever forget [Perg], but I know that I’ll be losing an important part of myself if I let him slip
too far into mere memory. Hellen Keller wrote: "With every friend I love who has been taken into the brown bosom of the earth
a part of me has been buried there; but their contribution to my being of happiness, strength and understanding remains to sustain me in an altered world."

I am planning to keep him an on-going part of my everyday life. I’m not suggesting that anyone should go get a tattoo, but I suspect some of you will anyway.
What I mean is that I’m taking some of what I have learned from him and some of the traits that made him so uniquely himself, and I am incorporating them
into my life:

Learn greedily, and teach generously.

Feeling sad? Go outside. Take a long walk, observe nature carefully, and be filled with wonder and gratitude.

Listen to music. Not as the background to some chore, but as a prayer, a meditation on humanity’s ability to create transcendent beauty.

Read, broadly and deeply, as way to better understand the world and yourself.

Be kind. Be honest, too, but kind first and last.

Travel. Travel more. Keep travelling.

Remember that if things aren’t quite going your way, you’re having an adventure.

Embrace being a work in progress.

Above all else, forgive yourself, and let regret be the most fleeting of emotions.


Everyone, I expect, will have their own list like this, and I’m eager to hear what is on yours.

In closing, I’d like to share with you a quote from one of [Perg's] favorite authors, Hunter S. Thompson, that I believe crystalizes who he was and how
he lived his remarkable life:
Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"

 

[LukSkyFokker]

You did well with your words, Joe. Nicely done and thank you for this.

 

[FataMorgana]

That's gorgeous.

 

[raindancer]

Wow, Joe. Beautiful tribute.

 

[Lorilei]

Thank you, Joe. That was a beautiful, fitting tribute.

 

[butters]

that was special, joe, thankyou. your love and respect for him shines through

 

[Sean]

Well done that man.

 

[neci]

thank you, joe.

 

[thør]

Thank you, HJ.

 

[CornusKousa]

That sucks....Perg was a fellow grunt and though we didn't serve together we had some good conversations and a pretty solid connection over that.

He will be missed.

 

[Pookie]

Well done, Joe.

 

[silver gurl]

Thank you

 

[spacekowboy]

That was wonderful, Joe. Thank you for sharing that with us.

 

[just pet]

Thank you, Joe. So heartfelt beautiful.

 

[InsatiableDsire]

Thank you so much for sharing that, Joe. I still cannot believe I will never talk to him again.