People that say they "hate" kids

[satindesire]

This is something that has been bugging me to no end and I'm going to vent about it here. These are my opinions and I realize that by sharing them, I'm opening myself up to criticism and flaming, but I'm aware of this an prepared to deal with that.

This is what I'm venting about. People that say they literally "Hate" kids.

I personally believe that the word "hate" implies a massive amount of negativity and potentially violent feelings that no child ever deserves. You know the kind of people I literally hate? Terrorists. Drunk Drivers. Rapists. Serial Killers. People that tailgate dangerously while texting or yapping away on their cell phones. Drug Dealers, gang leaders, anyone who puts innocent lives in danger through selfish or thoughtless means.

Hatred is not an appropriate feeling to feel towards innocent children, period.

The reasons that these people give for hating children are ridiculous. They're loud, they smell bad when they poop in their diapers. They're narcissistic and believe that you are there to cater to their every whims. They're "nasty little monsters" with runny noses.

Like any of these things are totally within said child's control because somehow, these people think that children are at the same brain-developmental stage as an adult and CAN control them, and because they don't, they deserve to be "hated".

To this I say: Get the fuck over yourselves and get some fucking education. Yes, children are messy, loud and narcissistic. That's also a totally normal part of their development and will learn manners and proper socialization through their parents/'caretakers with time. All children are like this and most will grow out of it normally. And we were all once kids too, even people that "hate" kids...that's something they always seem to conveniently forget, that once they were also loud, smelly little "monsters" and I'm pretty sure none of them deserved to be hated when they were small either. I'm positive none of them would have appreciated it, that's for sure.

I know some people aren't comfortable around kids, and that's fine. I'm not sitting here up on a high horse even partially implying that everyone on the planet has to love children and want to have a whole bus-full of babies. It's perfectly okay if you know you don't want kids and plan on never having them. It's fine to feel weird around kids. Again, I'm not implying that everyone has to be an expert on kids and know how to play/talk with them or get along with them...but I do expect people that say they hate kids to understand that 99% of the reasons they give are utter bullshit excuses to act in a superior manner over something that is completely beyond a baby's control.

I'm not implying you are somehow a lesser person if you aren't comfortable socializing with or being near a child. What I am saying is that if you do legitimately "HATE" kids, you have fucking problems and need help. And to sit with pride and say that you gods-honest-truth "HATE" kids...that's not a healthy attitude to have towards a baby, ever.

To me, to say you "hate" kids because of XYZ is the same as saying you hate black people or gays or mentally disabled people. It seems like hating kids is one of the last things people can say they "hate" in public and some people will rush right up to them and be like OMG ME TOO! I HATE KIDS TOO! THEY'RE SO FUCKING ANNOYING AND THEY STINK! And anyone who side-eyes them gets shit for it because kids are apparently so awful that it's totally cool to publicly and with pride tell others that they feel so strongly negatively towards a baby for reasons completely beyond that baby's control. I don't understand it in the least.

Okay, vent over.

 

[NightL]

It is only a problem if they say it in front of and particularly if they direct it toward children.

Choose new people to associate with.

 

[NotHisLady]

If I may, and like you I am speaking only my own opinion. I have no illusions that anyone else is any more likely to agree with me than they will with any other person.

When I walk into a restaurant and see that I'm about to be seated next to a family with small children I will politely and discretely ask for a different table. I've been known to leave stores that have what I'm looking for with the intent of coming back later if it has been taken over by a group of unruly children. In my job I literally cringe if the next customer through the door is pushing a stroller or has 2 or more kids in tow.

My feeling gets pinned on the kids but it is more truly about the parents.

Yes, I was a child once myself. My parents took too much pride in themselves to let me behave in public the way I watch kids act now. This isn't a case of a few isolated incidents either. The norm for behavior has dropped to the point that I have watched parents let their kids break things, climb on or dismantle things, and abuse employees who literally have no choice but to take it. Say one word to a parent about their child's actions and you risk hell-fire and damnation. They seem to think we should think it's cute.

It isn't cute. What's more it's going to be a whole lot LESS cute when that 4 year old is 8 and still acting the same way because those actions were never corrected.

So yes, by and large I hate going out and encountering people with kids.

There are notable exceptions and they give me hope. When I'm out and happen to find myself near someone with lovely well behaved (read trained) kids I say something. "Oh WOW what a wonderful kid! It must be so much work." You would think no one had ever thanked these folks before.

I guess maybe when some people say they hate kids they mean ill mannered, badly behaved kids that they fear to have in their homes.

Or not.
I've been wrong before.

 

[NightL]

lovely well behaved (read trained) kids I say something. "Oh WOW what a wonderful kid! It must be so much work."

 

[VladHarkonnen]

People that "hate" kids simply don't know how to deal with and are, therefore, uncomfortable around them. It's a failing on their part.

 

[twister947]

I don't have children, and for the most part, keep my distance. But hate? Newp. Mama would never have tolerated that word.

People that use the word casually weren't well-raised, themselves.

 

[1Browneyedguy]

It's the fault of the Parents how they're raised.

I own a retail store... I can't tell you how many times a kid has climbed on something which A-they can hurt themselves B- It costs several hundred dollars in full sight of the Parents.... OR they're running around, they can trip! fall! hurt themselves!

Now, not all kids behave like this but Do I "hate" them ??? No. They're out of control by Parents who let them get away with it and the kids know it.

One time .. this Parent was gathering his kids to leave, he called for the remaining one.."Okay Tommy, let's go" Tommy replied "when I'm good and ready" . I looked at this other customer ... neither of us would have talked like that to our Parents when we were Tommys' age. That was a reply that Tommy didn't just pull out of the air.... He used it before.

 

[VladHarkonnen]

"when I'm good and ready"

Oh hell no...

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

There are children in this world who require hating. In a just world the county would put a $100 bounty on their pelt, payable at the courthouse. Anyone who blabbers about how wonderful kids are has little experience with kids. They aren't Little Nelle or Pip or David Copperfield.

 

[VladHarkonnen]

There are children in this world who require hating. In a just world the county would put a $100 bounty on their pelt, payable at the courthouse. Anyone who blabbers about how wonderful kids are has little experience with kids. They aren't Little Nelle or Pip or David Copperfield.

I have kids. Before I had kids I worked with them every day. I was a lifeguard at a family YMCA where I dealt with them all the time. I taught kids swimming lessons. I coached kids swim teams and...I still think they're wonderful. Not saying there aren't kids that try one's patience...some of them can be insufferable bastards. But, on the whole, I think they're great.

 

[silverwhisper]

o, vlad...i see you're making the mistake of taking james seriously. :>

ed

 

[satindesire]

What some of you guys don't realize is that the "hatred" that these people are spouting isn't due to bad behaved kids. I've seen people spout off that they hate kids when they aren't even anywhere near any children nor are they saying they hate bad-behaved kids, they just HATE ALL CHILDREN.

Again, hatred is not an emotion that is appropriate towards innocent babies. Babies are not ill-behaved, and anyone who doesn't understand that needs to get the fuck off this planet.

 

[silverwhisper]

i haven't witnessed this SD but i think people who spout crap like that are sociopaths.

ed

 

[Aphro]

Being a parent is a wonderful and rewarding experience. However, it's not something you do because you got that puppy, and you did not kill it, so now you feel ready for a baby. There is no comparison between paper training a dog and raising a human being. Parents today seem almost too busy and too stressed to actually PARENT their kids, which is where we get the little holy terrors no one wants in their shop, or to sit next to at the restaurant or on the plane.

I have three kids, and I have never been afraid to take them anywhere, even when they were very young. I taught them early that when Mommy gives them the "hairy eyeball" across the table, that means you are one step away from some serious trouble! No one hundred warnings with no follow through. They are older now, and I am proud and pleased how they are turning out. I have friends tell me how "lucky" I am, and I want to scream at them it wasn't luck!!! It's been a whole lot of work, diligence, and perseverance.

I guess I can see why some may say they "hate" kids. But are not humans overly prone to generalizations? If I hear someone say they hate kids, I feel glad, because then I know they will not be raising any of their own, which in the long run is probably better off for everyone, with an attitude like that.

 

[NotHisLady]

People that "hate" kids simply don't know how to deal with and are, therefore, uncomfortable around them. It's a failing on their part.

The problem with this statement is that the majority of the time I don't have any status from which to 'deal' with other people's children. The only available positions are innocent bystander and collateral damage.
Someone mentioned working in retail, well I do too. I once looked up and saw a 3 or 4 year old girl standing on a glass top table. She was waving at her mom who waved back.
So, could someone who doesn't have my failing please tell me what my options were?
At that point I'm NOT dealing with the kid, I'm trying to deal with the parents who refuse to deal with the kid.

I still contend that when most of us say we don't like kids (even I rarely say I hate them other than individually and personally) it's because other people's children are so often INFLICTED on us against our will.

In family friendly places you won't find me complaining about being bumped by strollers or sticky seats in cafes. At a PG or G rated movie I have never once scowled at a family with chatty little ones a row or so back.
The fact is that not every place is family friendly. Some places decidedly are NOT. I have indeed scowled (and once complained to a manager) about a screaming child in an R rated movie. Being run into by someone pushing a stroller while talking on a cell phone in a small antique shop is about as much fun as it sounds.

Don't tell me I have a failing because I expect there to be places where grown ups go and act grown up. That's no more a failing than for someone to object to me bringing a Great Dane with me everywhere I go. ("But isn't he cute? and he's so friendly, wants to give you a kiss I can just tell....")
Do you hate dogs if you hate the idea of having one at the table next to you in your favorite Italian restaurant?

 

[Bramblethorn]

I still contend that when most of us say we don't like kids (even I rarely say I hate them other than individually and personally) it's because other people's children are so often INFLICTED on us against our will.

I suspect in some cases it's also a misdirected reaction to the attitude that not having kids is a less-valid option.

I've seen influential politicians declare that a woman who chooses not to have kids is unfit for leadership because "they've got no idea what life is about". Others will tell you that a marriage where the participants don't intend to have kids isn't a real marriage and shouldn't be recognised as such. People without kids sometimes get the short end of the stick when it comes to promotion, work shifts, etc, because the parents "need it more".

It's wrong to take it out on the kids, but while I'm very fond of them myself, I can see where some of the anger is coming from.

 

[Noor]

I actually like kids.

I do consider them little germ factories so I tend to shower and change clothes after spending time with them but I do that with public transport and crowds of people too.

I don't like parents who are not watching their kids or let them bother other people. I have been told I can be strict and scary, however my friends' kids like me, choose to hang out with me and in times of trouble look for me.

I am consistent, I treat them with dignity and don't take any crap from them. If we are somewhere fun and they act up, we leave. Many of those who grew up around me have me on Facebook.

 

[Eilan]

Don't tell me I have a failing because I expect there to be places where grown ups go and act grown up.

You won't hear this from me. I agree with you, and I have kids. While I do think my own kids are pretty damned awesome, I'm not generally a fan of other people's kids.

 

[SamScribble]

Kids are great - once they're old enough to have a driving licence

 

[VladHarkonnen]

Don't tell me I have a failing because I expect there to be places where grown ups go and act grown up. That's no more a failing than for someone to object to me bringing a Great Dane with me everywhere I go. ("But isn't he cute? and he's so friendly, wants to give you a kiss I can just tell....")
Do you hate dogs if you hate the idea of having one at the table next to you in your favorite Italian restaurant?

I didn't tell you that you had a failing because you expect there to be places where grown ups go and act grown up...did I? I said, to no one in particular, what I said and I meant what I said and what I said was that if you hate kids...it's a fail. You...didn't say you hated kids...did you? That's what's being discussed...people who say they hate kids.

Actually, I agree with you. There are some places kids shouldn't be and even I (and just about every other adult that likes kids or doesn't) sometimes like to be in child free environments and don't want that environment disturbed. Infants in theaters? No. I don't care if it's a fucking Disney cartoon let alone an R rated flick. There's no reason for an infant to be in a movie theater...period. At my wedding we didn't allow children under 12 (except those in the wedding party). We'd been to far to many weddings that were drowned out by unruly children running up and down the isle and yelling as if they were at McDonald's playland. You look at the videos of these ceremonies that someone payed a whole lot of money to have made and you don't hear vows being exchanged. You hear little Johnny and Sally screaming and running around while their dumbass parents smile on with some cow-eyed "ain't they cute" expression on their faces. So, our invitation repectfully asked that folks not bring their children to the ceremony but that their kids were more than welcome at the reception. Then there's the fact that there are some kids I don't particularly want to be around (nor would I want my kids around them) because they're loud, disrespectful, and out of control.

In short, I totally get it.

You won't hear this from me. I agree with you, and I have kids. While I do think my own kids are pretty damned awesome, I'm not generally a fan of other people's kids.

I have to admit that while I do like kids I do like mine a fuck of a lot more than other peoples'.

 

[satindesire]

There's some misguided offense here. If you've never spouted off that you hate kids, then obviously I'm not talking about you.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I suspect in some cases it's also a misdirected reaction to the attitude that not having kids is a less-valid option.

I've seen influential politicians declare that a woman who chooses not to have kids is unfit for leadership because "they've got no idea what life is about". Others will tell you that a marriage where the participants don't intend to have kids isn't a real marriage and shouldn't be recognised as such. People without kids sometimes get the short end of the stick when it comes to promotion, work shifts, etc, because the parents "need it more".

It's wrong to take it out on the kids, but while I'm very fond of them myself, I can see where some of the anger is coming from.

This.

 

[twister947]

Not to mention the tax code. No reason to dislike kids, but it damn sure discriminates against those w/o kids, and could be viewed as divisive.

 

[shiny5437]

I just wrote a long reply which my computer ate. Suffice to say by the end I disliked children a lot more than when I started writing it. Although disliking babies because of their hygiene is irrational.

I like kids, I think my nieces and nephews are great and I'd love to have a family one day. However there are lots of reasons to find the company of children and their parents unpleasant. Mostly it's down to the parents.

Whilst some people may openly dislike children, the overall prejudice in society is against those people without partners or children. There are financial penalties and social stigmata for those of us in this situation. We are the worker bees toiling to contribute to society without any genetic investment of our own to further *.

In the news recently a Harvard professor, Niall Fergusson, was reported to have made a comment along the lines that Keyne's, because of his homosexuality and therefore childlessness, didn't care about what happened in the future (although please correct me if I'm wrong). It was interesting that it was interpreted more as a slight against homosexuality than against childlessness that it actually is.



*yes I know that bees are related to each other so not really true but I couldn't think of a better analogy.

 

[satindesire]

I don't really see how any of these "explainations" and rationalizations are relevant.

If you don't hate kids, this doesn't apply to you. Also, hating kids is irrational, period.

Note: The word HATE.

Justifying hatred by saying that "Oh parents get lower taxes" and "Parents get time off"? Those are excuses, not valid reasons to HATE CHILDREN.

This isn't a bloody discussion where we all sit and list reasons we hate kids, okay?

This is not the thread for you if you hate kids. I obviously strongly dislike people that hate kids. I don't think it's right and although technically anyone is allowed to post here, don't expect me to calmly sit here and agree with anyone who feels like they're 100% justified in HATING a totally innocent baby.

Also what this thread isn't meant for: Listing reasons why you hate parents.

This is a vent. I am angry about this. If you dislike it, pass by and don't bother me,

Kthxbai.