*pending heartbreak*

[@}-}rebecca----]

Oh Chicklet, I am so disappointed to read the update. You are going to have to move on sweetheart, call it a learning curve and frame the outcome as something constructive, it absolutely pained me to read his indifferent actions towards you.

 

[Bandit58]

To me that's the equivalent of the vanilla guy getting his rocks off and then rolling over and going to sleep. Oh yeah I was married to one of those Operative word = WAS.

Sir has always known that I need cuddles after play. Especially after something overwhelming, or a first experience. Then He will pull the blanket or sheet over me, give me my snuggle pillow, and leave me to relax and most often sleep for a while.

Chicklet I add my voice to the others here and say how sorry I am you didn't get your needs met. For some (not all) of us it is one of the most important things in the relationship. Perhaps he should be informed that it's not that "rare".

 

[Chicklet]

What game was it?

Call of Duty 4...

= p

 

[Chicklet]

Oh Chicklet, I am so disappointed to read the update. You are going to have to move on sweetheart, call it a learning curve and frame the outcome as something constructive, it absolutely pained me to read his indifferent actions towards you.

I'm seriously trying to build up the courage to break it off myself. The problem is that I love him so damned much >< and he's *willing* to see me, even if it isn't exactly fulfilling my needs... and part of me keeps saying that he might get better over time, although i do *know* that that won't happen.

But yeah. Just trying to get the courage up. Most of the time I spend with him is still good... but, the bad feelings aren't good for my self-esteem.

 

[Marquis]

Call of Duty 4...

= p

Hmmm, that's a good one.

 

[intothewoods]

I'm seriously trying to build up the courage to break it off myself. The problem is that I love him so damned much >< and he's *willing* to see me, even if it isn't exactly fulfilling my needs... and part of me keeps saying that he might get better over time, although i do *know* that that won't happen.

But yeah. Just trying to get the courage up. Most of the time I spend with him is still good... but, the bad feelings aren't good for my self-esteem.

He will not get better. Sorry to be harsh, but been there, done that.

 

[intothewoods]

Sorry, had to dash earlier. Sorry he's such a cad, Chicklet.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

I'm seriously trying to build up the courage to break it off myself. The problem is that I love him so damned much >< and he's *willing* to see me, even if it isn't exactly fulfilling my needs... and part of me keeps saying that he might get better over time, although i do *know* that that won't happen.

But yeah. Just trying to get the courage up. Most of the time I spend with him is still good... but, the bad feelings aren't good for my self-esteem.

Chicklet my comment was focused around the things you have shared about how you feel, not what is right or wrong or best practice either for this matter. Nor to condemn outright a man you obviously have huge affection for.

Few people ever get 100% of 'what they want' and frankly ignoring you to play a video game, as I am sure you are all too aware, can fall into realms that actually work for other people. I can see a certain degree of hawtness attached if it was a mindful choice at humiliation level, an alternate feed into him pulling the 'dom card' as well comes to mind, IF it's just that he is behaving boorishly that for me would be an entirely different ball game. Overall compatibility is a very interesting thing, so is what on the periphery will be endured/supplicated or traded in love either within or outside of a D/s perspective.

My angst was reading what appeared as less an issue of a mindful choice & care and more a point of abandonment, what you choose to do with that is between you and him.

Think you have already nailed it yourself , when you mentioned the influences on your self esteem , a pretty good barometer. Instincts can go a long way as well, if yours have a good record to date, that's another way to trust what ever decision you come to.

 

[Chicklet]

I feel sort of like a hypocrite for being unhappy so soon after I told him I'd give him pretty much whatever parameters he needed in a relationship... I'm going to try to ride everything out until April, at least. I'd say 75% of the time I spend with him is still fantastic... and, I did just have a device planted in my uterus that's feeding me hormones I'm not used to. So, I'm going to continue to try = )

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

I feel sort of like a hypocrite for being unhappy so soon after I told him I'd give him pretty much whatever parameters he needed in a relationship... I'm going to try to ride everything out until April, at least. I'd say 75% of the time I spend with him is still fantastic... and, I did just have a device planted in my uterus that's feeding me hormones I'm not used to. So, I'm going to continue to try = )

= kewl

 

[intothewoods]

Chicklet my comment was focused around the things you have shared about how you feel, not what is right or wrong or best practice either for this matter. Nor to condemn outright a man you obviously have huge affection for.

Few people ever get 100% of 'what they want' and frankly ignoring you to play a video game, as I am sure you are all too aware, can fall into realms that actually work for other people. I can see a certain degree of hawtness attached if it was a mindful choice at humiliation level, an alternate feed into him pulling the 'dom card' as well comes to mind, IF it's just that he is behaving boorishly that for me would be an entirely different ball game. Overall compatibility is a very interesting thing, so is what on the periphery will be endured/supplicated or traded in love either within or outside of a D/s perspective.

My angst was reading what appeared as less an issue of a mindful choice & care and more a point of abandonment, what you choose to do with that is between you and him.

Think you have already nailed it yourself , when you mentioned the influences on your self esteem , a pretty good barometer. Instincts can go a long way as well, if yours have a good record to date, that's another way to trust what ever decision you come to.

Excellent post, miss rebecca. I especially liked the part I bolded. I really wanted to offer my support yesterday, but fatigue got the best of me and I was not as delicate and spot on as you.

chicklet - I don't know what this device is, but be very good to yourself until these changes level out. Are the emotional shifts expected to subside? It sounds smart not to make any big decisions until then.

Sometimes men are not aware of the impact of their behavior, so at some point, it may be worth gently telling him how you felt at that moment.