painfull lube?

[roughkitty27]

Ok Im not sure if this is the proper place to post this but Ill try. My husband is really antsy about trying anal. I have no problem trying this with him

The problem is every time we try to start, like with fingers at first, it hurts. Not a stretching hurt but a stinging like alcholol in a cut. I try to explain this to him but he doesnt know why b/c it doesnt hurt him when he tries

Im not sure whats wrong........ I really want to please my husband....


Please help.....

 

[elib257]

The obvious question here is whether you've tried other lubes?

What strikes me about the post is the relationship you have with your husband - if you don't want to do it you shouldn't have to. You've tried it at least and found that you dislike it that should be enough for him. There's a thread somewhere around here about a man who wants his wife to have anal sex against her will and the general concensus there is that he should ask, maybe even persuade her to try it but if she genuinely doesn't want to do it then don't force her. Remember that.

Good luck.

 

[roughkitty27]

We have tried Ky, and Astroglide, and when i was in college they gave away free lube and condoms but i dont think it had a name.

Also, I want to try it the right way. With my ex he didnt work me up to it, he just did it without my consent and that wasnt fun.
But appearently anal is supposed to feel really good, so I want to give it another try

 

[Eilan]

I try to explain this to him but he thinks I am lying because he has never heard of it before and when he tries it it doesnt hurt him.

I tried it once or twice with my ex and didnt like it but Im not going turn my husband down b/c he will think I did it with my ex b/c I loved him more or whatever.

Like elib257 said, I think you probably have bigger issues than whether or not you're doing anal with your husband.

KY and Astroglide probably aren't the best choices for anal, though YMMV, I'm sure. You might want to try silicone lube; some Litsters like ID Millennium.

 

[SweetErika]

Yeah, the lubes you mentioned contain alcohol (I think) and a bunch of other junk that can cause a reaction (I'm sure). And KY Jelly isn't a sexual lube at all; it's intended for one-time insertion for medical procedures, rather than the amount of friction you get with any kind of sex.

Silicone lubes are more expensive, but they're also super-slick and don't dry out, so you can use less and a little bit lasts a long time. There's also nothing in them that can cause a reaction because they're pure silicone (don't worry, it's not going to get in your blood stream and cause bad effects like the old silicone breast implants!), which you are likely exposed to everyday without any problems anyway. Silicone is an excellent lube for vaginal, anal play, shower/bath fun and masturbation.

There can also be burning if the receiver isn't relaxed enough, too. You want to be excited as possible, well-lubed and go VERY slow. It helps if I've had at least one orgasm already, do some clitoral stimulation while being penetrated and control the speed of penetration via pushing back or telling him what to do. Bearing down (like you're going to the bathroom) forces those muscles to relax.

So if you want to do this (for you), I'd suggest a combination of different lube and changing your technique. Even so, it can take some time and practice, so don't get discouraged if it doesn't work well the first few times! Each time you try, you'll be learning what works and what doesn't for you, as an individual.

 

[sunandshadow]

I had kind of a stinging sensation when I was attempting to get into anal. What worked for me was to get a really small, smooth vibrating bullet and use that for several sessions before trying anything bigger. A very small butt plug is also good for gentle stretching. With that you probably want to use a thick oil lube like petroleum jelly (vasoline). Note that this is not compatible with condoms, and you probably have to scrub it off the exterior parts of your body when done with it because it's greasy. Some people prefer a more organic type of oil like vegetable shortening. The idea behind using an especially thick lube is that the 'virgin' tissues inside one's butt have never been toughened up by friction, and putting a layer of grease between these tissues and whatever you are using for penetration minimizes friction.

 

[TBKahuna123]

I don't think I'd go the oil based lube route. In general people who are sensitive tend to react unfavorably to these lubes. Erika is dead on, try a silicone lube. I thought she was crazy the first time she suggested this, but I'm a believer. My wife has some issues with water based lubes and the alcohol in them, and I thought silicone lubes would be bad for her because of this. The reverse was true, and it's also a superior lube.

It also makes a dandy massage oil!

 

[Pegger_Man]

I know that some lubes can cause exactly the problem you are experiencing. Although many people seem to find Maximus to be great for anal I find it really stings. However Liquid Silk, that is made by the same company, works fine with no stinging sensation at all. I doubt you would get any stinging from pure silicone lubes (such as Pjur) but we find they are not as good as the Liquid Silk for use with toys (quite apart from any issues they have with silicone toys)

 

[SweetErika]

I don't think I'd go the oil based lube route. In general people who are sensitive tend to react unfavorably to these lubes. Erika is dead on, try a silicone lube. I thought she was crazy the first time she suggested this, but I'm a believer. My wife has some issues with water based lubes and the alcohol in them, and I thought silicone lubes would be bad for her because of this. The reverse was true, and it's also a superior lube.

It also makes a dandy massage oil!

Very cool! I don't recall hearing you'd tried it, but I'm thrilled it's worked so well for you two!

I know that some lubes can cause exactly the problem you are experiencing. Although many people seem to find Maximus to be great for anal I find it really stings. However Liquid Silk, that is made by the same company, works fine with no stinging sensation at all. I doubt you would get any stinging from pure silicone lubes (such as Pjur) but we find they are not as good as the Liquid Silk for use with toys (quite apart from any issues they have with silicone toys)

How have you found silicone to be not as good for use with toys? You've piqued my curiosity!

We silicone lube with toys - especially vibes and anal toys, since it doesn't dry out.

It actually can be used with pure, medical-grade silicone toys. It's the toys with lesser quality silicone or mixtures of silicone and other stuff (e.g. cyberskin-like, some "jelly" toys) that can be damaged by it. We just put a condom on those toys (it's much easier cleanup and many of them can't be sterilized, anyway!) and have never had a problem, although we always keep a bit of water-based lube on hand just in case a specific situation calls for it.

 

[christian1971]

Try water based lube.

There is a water based lube called H20 its clear never stains or get sticky or tacky and stays on for a long time. And you can reapply as much as you want.

 

[Pegger_Man]

We silicone lube with toys - especially vibes and anal toys, since it doesn't dry out.

It actually can be used with pure, medical-grade silicone toys. It's the toys with lesser quality silicone or mixtures of silicone and other stuff (e.g. cyberskin-like, some "jelly" toys) that can be damaged by it. We just put a condom on those toys (it's much easier cleanup and many of them can't be sterilized, anyway!) and have never had a problem, although we always keep a bit of water-based lube on hand just in case a specific situation calls for it.

Yes, we were surprised by the silicone lube not being as effective on toys as we had hoped. Having avoided them because of the stories of them ruining silicone toys (we have a sizeable draw full of them ) we found info on the Tantus website mentioned that the Pjur lube was OK on their silicone toys. So we got some Pjur original and found it to be just great for 'normal' sex but was not slick enough for use with, for example, either end of the Feeldoe. Perhaps we should try one of the lighter grades - the 'original' must have a pretty high SAE rating - or use it in conjunction with the Liquid Silk (which BTW does have a small amount of silicone in it).

As for lasting longer, well, my problem is that I don't last too long when getting pegged anyway so the lube is not a problem!

 

[kinkycapitalcpl]

my wife and I have always been a big fan of a lube called "Wet"; not sure I would buy it from a site called 'Cheap Lubes' but it was the first link I could find.

http://www.cheaplubes.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWCATS&Category=419

Last I checked it was condom safe and "relubes" with a little water or saliva if things start getting a little less slippery than you want.