Ownership

[LightningSeed]

I know the LW crowd will mostly just spew venom for the female in my new story, so I thought I’d see if anyone else had anything constructive - positive or negative - to say.

This is completely finished but I’m sending it out in four parts. I’ll submit the story on each successive Friday but obviously don’t know exactly when it will go live.

Ownership

Thanks in advance for taking the time and if you do share any thoughts I promise I’ll respond.

 

[Gamblnluck]

Personally, I think you wasted a lot of time on a story that will be ill-received. The first chapter is 18K words and you have three more? You might have done better posting it in novels. The basic premise is not even logical from any standpoint. Fucking a man, basically becoming his sex toy in order to get a home loan.
Not only is the premise ludicrous as to who sell themselves like that (a few whores might but they'd probably have the money), but nobody would stay in business if they even proposed the idea once word got out. but it is your time...

 

[LightningSeed]

Personally, I think you wasted a lot of time on a story that will be ill-received. The first chapter is 18K words and you have three more? You might have done better posting it in novels. The basic premise is not even logical from any standpoint. Fucking a man, basically becoming his sex toy in order to get a home loan.
Not only is the premise ludicrous as to who sell themselves like that (a few whores might but they'd probably have the money), but nobody would stay in business if they even proposed the idea once word got out. but it is your time...

I appreciate your feedback. I did consider posting in Novels, but sometimes I feel like on this site stringing it out by chapter tends to get more sampling.
You are right that the choices all three major characters make are not the traditional choices. Of course, if they made the choices society approves of, there wouldn’t be a story at all - this one or thousands of others either on this site.

 

[Gamblnluck]

I appreciate your feedback. I did consider posting in Novels, but sometimes I feel like on this site stringing it out by chapter tends to get more sampling.
You are right that the choices all three major characters make are not the traditional choices. Of course, if they made the choices society approves of, there wouldn’t be a story at all - this one or thousands of others either on this site.

Posting on novels can be and often is done in chapters. I didn't address the waiting a week between chapters. That is a separate issue. Once the story is complete, get it out there. Two or three days between those large chapters. Why? People forget where the story ended after a time. They have to go back and reread to catch back up or at least skim over it. In many cases, unless they are already involved in the plot and characters, they won't do it.

Your readership will decline, which brings me back to my original statement. You wasted a lot of time on a big story that is not going to be appreciated. (I use 'appreciated' as catchall.

 

[LightningSeed]

Posting on novels can be and often is done in chapters. I didn't address the waiting a week between chapters. That is a separate issue. Once the story is complete, get it out there. Two or three days between those large chapters. Why? People forget where the story ended after a time. They have to go back and reread to catch back up or at least skim over it. In many cases, unless they are already involved in the plot and characters, they won't do it.

Your readership will decline, which brings me back to my original statement. You wasted a lot of time on a big story that is not going to be appreciated. (I use 'appreciated' as catchall.

Thanks again for the feedback. Even if it is ill-received, I’ll always be glad I wrote simply because I enjoy it.

 

[Gamblnluck]

Thanks again for the feedback. Even if it is ill-received, I’ll always be glad I wrote simply because I enjoy it.

Do what you want. I was just trying to show you 2 ways to get a better reception for your efforts. Novels and faster submission of followup chapters.

 

[darwin1859]

I have feedback in the form of a question: Why did you choose alternating first-person POV? I find it harder to read. I'm intrigued and would like to read part 1, but I'm put off by this choice.

And part of the reason I ask is that I have started a lot of stories and I find first person a very natural POV, but then it becomes limiting. I think that's what drives the alternating first-person POV. You get to write the whole story in first person without limiting the narrative to one character. But I like the results better for my writing when I use third person. I suspect that would hold true for your story also.

(BTW, if you were inclined to change existing writing, LE is all about "Fuuuuck AI!!," but SOTA AI models can reduce the effort required to revise this aspect of a story (which is really tedious to do manually). I don't know what Laurel would say about that, but the machine learning involved in changing POV is essentially the same as a grammar checker. I wouldn't see that as an "AI story." But I'm sure I'll get a lot of hate from the AI-ATE-MY-DOG!!!! crowd for even suggesting it.)

 

[LightningSeed]

Darwin, thanks for taking out the time. I’ll admit that in fiction I am generally biased towards first person story telling; I think you get a better sense of self, as well as a better look at what character flaws exist.

That said, this particular story seems - to me - to almost demand competing narratives.

I may try a third-person story soon. It would good for me. It would be good to see what’s possible from that view of the story.

Who knows after that? Maybe I can get all Jay McInerney and do second-person