overwhelmed / undereducated

[saymyshame]

I've been lurking this forum for a while and have found it to be helpful, but I feel that I need some BDSM 101! So many terms are thrown around which leaves me a bit ??? I also feel that I desperately need someone to talk to one on one... preferably someone young (no offense!) that was where I am not too long ago.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

I would also like to thank Cutiemouse for some advice she'd given to another new member recently, regarding The Talk.

I was in a sex coma for many, many years. I ended my relationship and subsequently met my dom - a wonderful man that has brought me back to life. He was intimidating at first and I had a difficult time accepting what he enjoyed, though they were in line with much of what I enjoyed. He felt my resistance and promptly cooled off. I took this as a loss of interest.
Our sex life continued to be fulfilling, but I've been wanting to get back into exploration. I've tried bringing it up on several occasions, but he's danced around the topic.
I starting frequenting forums to learn a bit more and I am so glad that I did!
After reading what Cutiemouse said, I felt inspired.

I was bold and the outcome was wonderful. He explained so much to me that I'd completely misunderstood. Among others, he said he was afraid of me leaving him for his extreme interests. He also expressed that I was the first person he's ever felt comfortable with sexually. I assured him that our interests are the same and I am ready to take it to the next level.

Within two hours a couple of previously unexplored fantasies had been unleashed. We fucked all night - he kept me up till 5am!
I could kiss you Cutiemouse!

 

[unregistered]

 

[saymyshame]

First, I wouldn’t rule someone out as a source of information and guidance simply based on age.

I think it is just down to me feeling more comfortable with someone closer to my own age... is that totally awful? =/
Everyone here seems very genuine and wise. I love that about this forum (I honestly find some other forums a little creepy).
Your suggestions are very helpful thank you!

 

[BlueEyesEternal]

I'm 28 and have a lot of experience dealing with partners that have had little experience. I agree that someone with more age brings more experience, but I can also understand your need for perspective. Taking a picture at the bottom of a skyscraper while looking up is quite different from one taken from the top looking down. I'm happy to teach what I may if you want to learn. PM me anytime

 

[00Syd]

I think it is just down to me feeling more comfortable with someone closer to my own age... is that totally awful? =/
Everyone here seems very genuine and wise. I love that about this forum (I honestly find some other forums a little creepy).
Your suggestions are very helpful thank you!

No, its not awful. I'm on the younger side of things too (some would say on the very young side), and while I love talking to people of all ages to get as many different perspectives as I can, I feel much more comfortable really opening up with people closer to my own age.

 

[unregistered]

 

[CutieMouse]

<snip>

I would also like to thank Cutiemouse for some advice she'd given to another new member recently, regarding The Talk.

<snip>

I starting frequenting forums to learn a bit more and I am so glad that I did!
After reading what Cutiemouse said, I felt inspired.

<snip>

I could kiss you Cutiemouse!

Ummm... whatever it was, you're welcome?





(BTW - I feel the need to point out I so do not fall into the "someone young" category. *chuckle* )

 

[midwestyankee]

Ummm... whatever it was, you're welcome?





(BTW - I feel the need to point out I so do not fall into the "someone young" category. *chuckle* )

It's all a matter of perspective, CM.

 

[b_slave]

Bwahaa.

And I thought I was the only young S.o.B on here. to all you youngin's.

 

[BlueEyesEternal]

*smacks b lovingly on the face* Those that never ask, never get. Those that ask too much get smacked around Don't you laugh on someone else's thread! As far as I've seen, you need a good training yourself. Once you have what you seek, then you can instruct others on how best to get it.

 

[Puman]

Ummm... whatever it was, you're welcome?





(BTW - I feel the need to point out I so do not fall into the "someone young" category. *chuckle* )

But you're such a cute mouse!

 

[saymyshame]

No, its not awful. I'm on the younger side of things too (some would say on the very young side), and while I love talking to people of all ages to get as many different perspectives as I can, I feel much more comfortable really opening up with people closer to my own age.

exactly! i'm fresh to this... I guess I need to work up to talking to the more experienced. Perhaps this is going back to intimidation?

Glad I could help and I do understand your need for parity with your mentor. Comfort is part and parcel of trust.

mmm, I love an erudite (props) (<--- display of youth) - while i feel more comfortable talking to someone closer in age, i am seeking someone with more experience.
I am not an ageist by any measure, I think perhaps I'd feel like I was talking to a parent?

I am not that young - under 30 - not completely naive... not quite mature.

You guys are amazing btw!

 

[saymyshame]

Ummm... whatever it was, you're welcome?





(BTW - I feel the need to point out I so do not fall into the "someone young" category. *chuckle* )

I should have multi-quoted this. It was a week or so ago, regarding a newbie having The Talk with his partner. You were stern that if you don't express what you want, you won't get it.
I was like, WOW. What simple but great advice.

I am taking in everyone's wisdom on the forum with age being less of a concern. It's just one on one, I would like to talk a sub and dom with a little more experience, a little closer to my age.

 

[unregistered]

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'm wondering what chronological age defines young for you in terms of who you want to respond? Might give people a better idea of whether they have anything to offer you or not. Might be worth noting though that often if seeking advice which is going to help you see things more clearly, or in a way you had not before then, it is often better to talk to someone who is not as close to where you are personally in your journey/experience as they are able to give a view without the same ground level view you already have, and without the residual effects of their own experience influencing what they may or may not tell you. Also worth noting is that one person's experience and/or view is not necessarily going to be right for you just because they are close to what you relate to as your own place in time...it is all about individuality, difference, open minded more so than a one size fits all from a mythical manual of how and what to do. Good luck in your journey though, it can be a wonderful thing.

Catalina

 

[CutieMouse]

I should have multi-quoted this. It was a week or so ago, regarding a newbie having The Talk with his partner. You were stern that if you don't express what you want, you won't get it.
I was like, WOW. What simple but great advice.

I am taking in everyone's wisdom on the forum with age being less of a concern. It's just one on one, I would like to talk a sub and dom with a little more experience, a little closer to my age.

I'm about 10 years older than you, and when it comes down to it, I have about the least amount of actual face to face/in person BDSM experience of anyone in the forums - I've just studied the thing to death, and have gotten more pragmatic in my old age.

 

[Zoots_owner]

And I thought I was the only young S.o.B on here.

On the Internet, you'd never know, would you? There are really only two clear age groups, those who post like high schoolers and those who don't.

 

[Harmony_1985]

Heh, I'm 23 and the guy I'm learning from is 61, but I'm not bothered.

He's got alot more experience than I have, and he's lovely too, so I'm good/.

 

[saymyshame]

I'm wondering what chronological age defines young for you in terms of who you want to respond? Might give people a better idea of whether they have anything to offer you or not. Might be worth noting though that often if seeking advice which is going to help you see things more clearly, or in a way you had not before then, it is often better to talk to someone who is not as close to where you are personally in your journey/experience as they are able to give a view without the same ground level view you already have, and without the residual effects of their own experience influencing what they may or may not tell you. Also worth noting is that one person's experience and/or view is not necessarily going to be right for you just because they are close to what you relate to as your own place in time...it is all about individuality, difference, open minded more so than a one size fits all from a mythical manual of how and what to do. Good luck in your journey though, it can be a wonderful thing.

Catalina

Ok, this is being completely over-thought! I'm 26 and I'd prefer to talk to someone closer to my age with a bit more experience. I'm not necessarily looking for advice from said person - I can come here for that - I am just looking for someone to talk to. I don't hold any expectations, I just feel that I may relate a bit more.
But yes! thank you for your input, it is all appreciated.

 

[kinkyknickers]

Is it possible to simply be whelmed? I am undereducated in this matter.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Ok, this is being completely over-thought! I'm 26 and I'd prefer to talk to someone closer to my age with a bit more experience. I'm not necessarily looking for advice from said person - I can come here for that - I am just looking for someone to talk to. I don't hold any expectations, I just feel that I may relate a bit more.
But yes! thank you for your input, it is all appreciated.

Hmm, well I do tend to think a lot. Did you just have a birthday? Figure you must have as you say you are 26, your profile says you are 27. If you are just looking for a chat buddy, I would suggest trying the Personals perhaps.

Catalina