Over using character traits?

[LAHomedog]

feedback from a while ago...

Anonymousalmost 5 years ago
Your use of the F word was excessive ...
Your use of the F word ruined this story, and to say it was excessive is being kind...the story could have been interesting, but you lost me......

***

I once got a comment that I had "throatfucking in the story, and if there was throatfucikng in the story it was 1 star." You never know. Go figure.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I read a story once called Fuck Fuckington. Almost every word was Fuck or some variation of it. It was fucking brilliant.

Fuck, I'll have to give it fuckerview, but sure I'll find fucking fuckderful, fuckrilling.

 

[TadOverdon]

I read a story once called Fuck Fuckington. Almost every word was Fuck or some variation of it. It was fucking brilliant.

The Wonderful World of Fuxley...

https://img.ifunny.co/images/6d405ad2f02a27e5e491183274979095d00fb22aa46fefa71e4afe229c3d98b4_1.webp

 

[SimonDoom]

The Wonderful World of Fuxley...

https://img.ifunny.co/images/6d405ad2f02a27e5e491183274979095d00fb22aa46fefa71e4afe229c3d98b4_1.webp

"But Baby . . . I Took You To Denny's" looks like a classic.

 

[Djmac1031]

Gosh, it looks like I fucked up this thread. I'm so fucking sorry.

It's fucking okay. I don't fucking mind.

 

[MajorRewrite]

My character, Jenna, is a happy, upbeat, fun loving 19 year old.

As such, she tends to "giggle."

A lot.

I was writing this morning and a character giggled, and it got me thinking.

If Jenna’s giggling is a defining trait, then maybe it should be played up. Instead of deleting instances of giggle, do something like …

Jenna giggled for the hundredth time that weekend. The delightful, cute, giddy sound made my cock twitch.

Maybe even name the story “Jenna Giggled”.

 

[Djmac1031]

I was writing this morning and a character giggled, and it got me thinking.

If Jenna’s giggling is a defining trait, then maybe it should be played up. Instead of deleting instances of giggle, do something like …

Jenna giggled for the hundredth time that weekend. The delightful, cute, giddy sound made my cock twitch.

Maybe even name the story “Jenna Giggled”.

Jenna giggled. "I wonder why I giggle so much?" she said with a giggle.

 

[TadOverdon]

"But Baby . . . I Took You To Denny's" looks like a classic.

Yeah, but the smoked macaque seems more of a Joan Crawford move.

I was writing this morning and a character giggled, and it got me thinking.

If Jenna’s giggling is a defining trait, then maybe it should be played up. Instead of deleting instances of giggle, do something like …

Jenna giggled for the hundredth time that weekend. The delightful, cute, giddy sound made my cock twitch.

Maybe even name the story “Jenna Giggled”.

"Jenna had a problem: no one took her seriously. She had an IQ of 145, was fluent in five languages and had logged over a decade as an international political correspondent on four continents.

Unfortunately, whenever she spoke the noise she emitted sounded as if she had a helium tube stuck up her butt."

 

[Djmac1031]

"Jenna had a problem: no one took her seriously. She had an IQ of 145, was fluent in five languages and had logged over a decade as an international political correspondent on four continents.

Unfortunately, whenever she spoke the noise she emitted sounded as if she had a helium tube stuck up her butt."

That literally made me laugh out loud, so thanks for that.

 

[TadOverdon]

That makes me happy.

On the one hand, I'd rather use the fewest words in a sentence to communicate a thing. I know, I don't often live up to that, but it's my preference.

On the other, I would rather write "said with a smirk" than use "she smirked" as a dialogue tag. Smirking is a kind of smile, not a tone of voice.

How much does that matter?

 

[SamScribble]

That makes me happy.

On the one hand, I'd rather use the fewest words in a sentence to communicate a thing. I know, I don't often live up to that, but it's my preference.

On the other, I would rather write "said with a smirk" than use "she smirked" as a dialogue tag. Smirking is a kind of smile, not a tone of voice.

How much does that matter?

To some of us it matters. Thank you.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

I think I overuse dialogue terms more than character traits Personally, I'm not big on writing things like, "Yes, it is rather large," she giggled.

But I do way overuse swear words in dialogue. Now, I come from the Martin Scorese school of writing that says you can never use "fuck" too much in dialogue, but I do use "motherfucker" too much and I'm now trying to write at least one story where I don't use it.

I will say that it is a motherfucking hard thing to do, but fuck, I'm intend to do it!

I have a habit of using said, replied, and exclaimed a lot. It's kinda out of laziness, but also I'd rather use a few words often, than trying to use a new synonym or whatever every time, or every other time I need to write; "...he/she said."

When I was in high school and the english teacher said we could use profanity in our stories, best believe damn near every story was written like a Martin/Sam Jackson screenplay. IRL I probably cuss more than any of my characters, even the ones based off me.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

That makes me happy.

On the one hand, I'd rather use the fewest words in a sentence to communicate a thing. I know, I don't often live up to that, but it's my preference.

On the other, I would rather write "said with a smirk" than use "she smirked" as a dialogue tag. Smirking is a kind of smile, not a tone of voice.

How much does that matter?

I guess in reflection to your opinion it doesn't, grand writing scheme of things, or whatever. Although it's not a tone of voice, it's an action, one that can be performed while speaking. If I must be technical; both are right, as people can smirk while they're talking, or after, or smirk without saying anything at all in response or in place of any spoken word. I can see both being interchangable, and see both being used differently, "said with a smirk," being somebody said something and smirked afterwards, or "smirked" as a standalone action, or somebody doing it as they speak. The latter also cuts down on exposition, much like how we use slang and contractions to shorten sentances, talking to people, combining an action with words to create some natural flow. Another example would be; "I don't know where your keys are," she looked, versus; "I don't know where your keys are," she said while looking around.

 

[Djmac1031]

I guess in reflection to your opinion it doesn't, grand writing scheme of things, or whatever. Although it's not a tone of voice, it's an action, one that can be performed while speaking. If I must be technical; both are right, as people can smirk while they're talking, or after, or smirk without saying anything at all in response or in place of any spoken word. I can see both being interchangable, and see both being used differently, "said with a smirk," being somebody said something and smirked afterwards, or "smirked" as a standalone action, or somebody doing it as they speak. The latter also cuts down on exposition, much like how we use slang and contractions to shorten sentances, talking to people, combining an action with words to create some natural flow. Another example would be; "I don't know where your keys are," she looked, versus; "I don't know where your keys are," she said while looking around.

Another example is "If you're this grumpy now, I'd hate to see you BEFORE your morning coffee," he joked.

As opposed to "if you're this grumpy now, I'd hate to see you BEFORE your morning coffee, " he said jokingly.

Either work, but the first shortens an already long sentence.