Over using character traits?

[Djmac1031]

My character, Jenna, is a happy, upbeat, fun loving 19 year old.

As such, she tends to "giggle."

A lot.

Sometimes yes, she simply laughs. But when I hear her in my head, I dont hear her chortle, guffaw, chuckle, cackle, or twitter.

I hear her giggle.

I've tried substituting other words but they never feel right and it feels like the only reason I'm using them is because I'm afraid I'm OVER USING "giggle."

Am I over thinking this?

There's other words I sometimes struggle with as well. Jenna also smiles and grins a lot. But it doesn't seem as blatant to use those often.

I'm sure there's plenty of other things like this, descriptive words or actions that can be over used, or at least feel that way when writing.

I've been hitting Google for synonyms often since I've started writing here, and it's been very helpful.

But again, sometimes it feels like trying to force a bigger, more flowery or fancier descriptor in there just for the sake of changing it. And some of them can even sound pretentious, like I'm trying to show off my knowledge of Big Words.

You all have been at this way longer than me. I'm interested in your thoughts on it.

 

[HeyAll]

I do my best to avoid 'smile' because I use it a lot.

I also look for new words. I use 'word hippo' because they have a ton of variety and for different contexts.

 

[Bramblethorn]

If you feel you're leaning too heavily on "giggle", perhaps try to show her personality in her speech patterns instead.

Imagine you're writing a script, and you don't get to give any directions - just the words your characters will say. How much can you convey that way?

"Hee! Sure, I'd love to!"

"It's so great you're here!"

"Oh, you!"

"Tell me we're doing this again tomorrow! Please?"

The details will depend on her background, but you can do a lot just within dialogue before falling back on "she giggled" etc. to describe that dialogue. IMHO, that approach often strengthens the writing.

 

[Djmac1031]

If you feel you're leaning too heavily on "giggle", perhaps try to show her personality in her speech patterns instead.

Imagine you're writing a script, and you don't get to give any directions - just the words your characters will say. How much can you convey that way?

"Hee! Sure, I'd love to!"

"It's so great you're here!"

"Oh, you!"

"Tell me we're doing this again tomorrow! Please?"

The details will depend on her background, but you can do a lot just within dialogue before falling back on "she giggled" etc. to describe that dialogue. IMHO, that approach often strengthens the writing.

Good tip, thank you. I do go back and edit, and often find ways of taking out over used words by changing the dialog or the structure of the sentence itself.

Still, it's tricky sometimes. My mind tells me it's overused but my heart tells me it's what's needed lol.

 

[SimonDoom]

There are a few quasi-synonyms: titter, laugh (add an adverb like "lightly"), chuckle, chortle.

I wouldn't sweat it too much. It's OK to use giggle more than once.

If you think you are using it too often, then another tactic is simply not to mention that she's doing it so often. Once you establish she's a giggler, you don't have to mention every time she giggles. Describe something else she does that is consistent with the same sort of person. As Bramblethorn suggested, for instance.

Do a document search of the number of times you use the word "giggle" and do an evaluation of its use. If you do that you may or may not think you are overusing it.

 

[Djmac1031]

There are a few quasi-synonyms: titter, laugh (add an adverb like "lightly"), chuckle, chortle.

I wouldn't sweat it too much. It's OK to use giggle more than once.

If you think you are using it too often, then another tactic is simply not to mention that she's doing it so often. Once you establish she's a giggler, you don't have to mention every time she giggles. Describe something else she does that is consistent with the same sort of person. As Bramblethorn suggested, for instance.

Do a document search of the number of times you use the word "giggle" and do an evaluation of its use. If you do that you may or may not think you are overusing it.

Excellent advice. Thank you.

I suppose you're correct; once it's established that she giggles a lot, I don't have to specify EVERY time she does it, just write the dialogue in a way that gets the idea across

 

[ElectricBlue]

Drop your story into this:

https://worditout.com/word-cloud/create


It will tell you which words you use most. It's one of my essential editing tools.

 

[Djmac1031]

Drop your story into this:

https://worditout.com/word-cloud/create


It will tell you which words you use most. It's one of my essential editing tools.

Thank you. I'll try that.

 

[Gamblnluck]

If you feel you're leaning too heavily on "giggle", perhaps try to show her personality in her speech patterns instead.

Imagine you're writing a script, and you don't get to give any directions - just the words your characters will say. How much can you convey that way?

"Hee! Sure, I'd love to!"

"It's so great you're here!"

"Oh, you!"

"Tell me we're doing this again tomorrow! Please?"

The details will depend on her background, but you can do a lot just within dialogue before falling back on "she giggled" etc. to describe that dialogue. IMHO, that approach often strengthens the writing.

I am guilty of using giggle too much. I use it when somebody is being happy when they do something to another character or enjoying the teasing. I use it as a step above expression of satisfaction.

 

[TadOverdon]

Giggling, winking, shrugging, grinning...homo fictus needs to evolve a wider range of emotional gestures, but it could take millions of years.

 

[Djmac1031]

Giggling, winking, shrugging, grinning...homo fictus needs to evolve a wider range of emotional gestures, but it could take millions of years.

Lol. Yeah. Jenna "winks" a lot too, now that I think about it.

 

[gordo12]

My character, Jenna, is a happy, upbeat, fun loving 19 year old.

As such, she tends to "giggle."

A lot.

Sometimes yes, she simply laughs. But when I hear her in my head, I dont hear her chortle, guffaw, chuckle, cackle, or twitter.

I hear her giggle.

I've tried substituting other words but they never feel right and it feels like the only reason I'm using them is because I'm afraid I'm OVER USING "giggle."

Am I over thinking this?

Nope! I have the same problem with giggle. It seems like such a natural expression. There are a few substitutes as listed before but that one still resonates the most with me.

 

[Agiel]

My character, Jenna, is a happy, upbeat, fun loving 19 year old.

I've tried substituting other words but they never feel right and it feels like the only reason I'm using them is because I'm afraid I'm OVER USING "giggle."

The problem is not that you are overusing “giggle” but your characters must be far too happy.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Has any noticed the synonyms for look or see have a lot of g words? Glower, gaze, gander, gape, gawk, goggle and stand agog, while not a g word has more than enough of them in it.

 

[MillieDynamite]

The problem is not that you are overusing “giggle” but your characters must be far too happy.

“I don't trust happiness. I never did, I never will,” Robert Duval as Mac Sledge Tender Mercies.

 

[MajorRewrite]

I tend to overuse giggle too. If I’m not careful I’ll have 45 year old moms giggling like schoolgirls, which is something that should be used sparingly. I often end up deleting some and doing without.

You could try something like “she bubbled with joy” to express the same sentiment. Overflowing mirth, spontaneous happiness, beamed with cheer, that sort of thing.

English definitely needs more words for smile/grin.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Sometime, I get hung up with sentence's starters and use the same ones several times. The truth of the matter, the truth is, matter of fact, and so on.

 

[Djmac1031]

I tend to overuse giggle too. If I’m not careful I’ll have 45 year old moms giggling like schoolgirls, which is something that should be used sparingly. I often end up deleting some and doing without.

You could try something like “she bubbled with joy” to express the same sentiment. Overflowing mirth, spontaneous happiness, beamed with cheer, that sort of thing.

English definitely needs more words for smile/grin.

I like those. Definitely filing them away for future use.

 

[LAHomedog]

I think I overuse dialogue terms more than character traits Personally, I'm not big on writing things like, "Yes, it is rather large," she giggled.

But I do way overuse swear words in dialogue. Now, I come from the Martin Scorese school of writing that says you can never use "fuck" too much in dialogue, but I do use "motherfucker" too much and I'm now trying to write at least one story where I don't use it.

I will say that it is a motherfucking hard thing to do, but fuck, I'm intend to do it!

 

[LAHomedog]

Fuck. <- That's one I do. Just the single word sentence of "Fuck" I don't know why I like using it so much but it appears in the majority of my stories at least once.

I also have an issue with wanting characters to furrow their brow or smirk.

Well, I have a tendency to write dialogue like:

"Fuck you! You fucking fuck, What the fucking are you trying to do you fucking idiot?! That's absolutely in-fucking-credible."

You know, stuff like that.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

if it's Word, i use the Find function and then cull or alter the [offending] entry.

it's sometimes dispiriting! a real 'oh fuck' moment.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I will say that it is a motherfucking hard thing to do, but fuck, I'm intend to do it!

Yo, mothafucka, watch your fucking language! There are ladies present .

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Yo, mothafucka, watch your fucking language! There are ladies present .

a modicum of fucking decorum wouldn't go amiss...

 

[LAHomedog]

Gosh, it looks like I fucked up this thread. I'm so fucking sorry.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Gosh, it looks like I fucked up this thread. I'm so fucking sorry.

feedback from a while ago...

Anonymousalmost 5 years ago
Your use of the F word was excessive ...
Your use of the F word ruined this story, and to say it was excessive is being kind...the story could have been interesting, but you lost me......

***

The car slewed to the left, tyres gripping nothing but compacted snow as it slid like an ice-skater towards the container truck doggedly making its way along the left-hand lane.

"Fucking hell!" Melanie blurted. "Fuck's sake, Gerard ... Try not to fucking kill us both."

The Ford Focus missed by scant inches. Fishtailed for a few greasy metres. Then the tyres managed to grip something other than ice.

"Sorry, Mrs Ellis," Gerard said, fingers tight on the wheel. "I'm not used to this. I've never driven through snow like this before."

"It's not your fault, Gerard," Melanie said. "It's fucking mayhem out there. Everyone's in the same fucking boat.