orgasm

[bignipples]

I've never orgasmed. I tried EVERYTHING my fingers, a guys fingers, a guys tongue, sex, vibrators, lube, etc. I just get to a point where I feel a despert need for a release but never get a release. Any advice?

 

[lovechild27]

what do you feel is keeping you from orgasming?

are you thinking about anything distracting?

do the sensations go from good to too much?

are you working very hard to orgasm?

how old are you?

any health problems

maybe some more info here could help us help you

 

[Dionysus2003]

Maybe the chase after the orgasm makes it unable for you to relax enough to reach one?

Did you try talking to a doctor about it, or a psychologist?

 

[bignipples]

I'm 21 and have no health problems. I am a very horny girl so arousal not the issue. I just get to a point where i'm so sexually excited that I'm tossing, turning, moaning, whining but no release. vibrators can't even get me to that point.

 

[lovechild27]

Is it that the sensation goes away? I cant get off from vibrators...they are too much for me. Do you have a partner you have sex with?

 

[bignipples]

Is it that the sensation goes away? I cant get off from vibrators...they are too much for me. Do you have a partner you have sex with?

the sensation stays as long as whatever causes it contunues but it doesn't turn into anything. Vibrators are not effective, they just make me in the mood to fool around with a guy. I'm currently single but sex doen't do much at all for me. I prefer oral sex.

 

[Dionysus2003]

I had a gf with the same problem. She was completely unable to climax. No matter how long we were at it she still could not "climb the last wall" towards orgasm.

It bothered her very much at times. Other times she didn't really mind she told me. We were only together a few months, but she never climaxed during that time.

I don't know if she has reached orgasm today, because it is 11 years since I last saw her.

All I can do is wish you luck in your search for "the big bang" and again recommend a doctor or psychologist with expertise on the sexual area.

 

[ammre]

i almost have that problem, luckley i can get myself off, but no one else can get me off... definatelly screws up the sex life when you become totally disintrested, and it's not worth getting all messy and tired and sore form.

 

[CanisLupus]

I've never orgasmed. I tried EVERYTHING my fingers, a guys fingers, a guys tongue, sex, vibrators, lube, etc. I just get to a point where I feel a despert need for a release but never get a release. Any advice?

I'm a 24 yrs old guy and had my first sex only some weeks ago (the reasons why it took me so long don't matter here). I also had problems reaching the climax and it didn't really work the first few times. One afternoon I kept in mind that I COULD do everything but I DON'T HAVE to. Reminding myself of that simple fact made me enjoy the time with my gf a lot more...with orgasm. I think, this thought just kept the pressure from me and thus I was able to please both of us.
I wish you good luck.

 

[fantac64]

Just watched a special that featured, (in part) the problems of non-orgasmic women. Most of the time it is due to some damage to the clit during exercise, sports, or shock such as dropping down on a fence rail or the bar on a boys bicycle, etc. Other than that, it can be psychlogical and they both require the services of a good therast that SPECIALIZES in female disorders. there is a very special vibrator available from the docotr that combines vibration with suction directly on the clit that has helped many women. Have you tried a g-spot vibrator? Hope you get your dreams to come true.

 

[lovechild27]

well big...let me tell you bout my experience.

Im 23 now. I couldnt come until I was close to 21. I was like...you tried everything. I couldnt get off. I could ALMOST get there but not quite. I asked docs and shrinks. There was nothing wrong with me. I have read before that some women dont come until they are older...to be honest I completely dont remember the reasoning behind it...it was something to the effect of your body not being ready to have sex yet. Maybe this is whats going on with you....your body just isnt ready for it yet.

You sound well adjusted...but maybe still try a doc or a shrink just to rule out the possibilities.

 

[ReadyOne]

How about booze?

The idea is to get relaxed and inhibitions nixed.

I get the feeling that if you can do it the first itme, the next time will be easier, and the next after that even easier.

 

[College_geek]

I have read before that some women dont come until they are older...to be honest I completely dont remember the reasoning behind it...it was something to the effect of your body not being ready to have sex yet.

That's actually a really interesting piece of information. I never would considered something like that.

When I started masturbating, I was "in search of an orgasm", and for me, I would start spasming and such, but I never felt something that seemed like a release. When I finally did manage to climax a few months later, it was in the shower, using the shower massage setting, while staring at the drain and singing the song "Science Fiction" from Rocky Horror Picture Show in my head. It sounds completely bizarre, but it got the orgasm out of my mind, since I think my problem was because I was focusing on it too much and not just enjoying the sensation.

I wish you luck, Big. You'll have to tell us when you've found success.

 

[ReadyOne]

Here's an interesting product used to help women learn how to orgasm... http://www.libchrist.com/sybianvenus/sybian.html

 

[Four_Inch_Heels]

The main thing is to relax, and not try soo hard. I know, easier said than done. I'd try and cum by yourself first, before trying with a partner.

Do you enjoy watching porn? Pop one in, when you start getting tingly "down there", touch yourself. Get to know your body, and what feels best to you.

I'd been cumming for years on my own, and thought I was cumming with my boyfriend (but only when riding him). One day, I continued moving, and oh my god!, it felt so good I wanted to scream!! I realized afterwards, that up til then I had been stopping when I got the build up, on the edge, and finally went over it that day.

Don't expect to be able to cum every way possible. I've never cum from being eaten, and only when I'm on top during actual fucking.

The shower massage is great....very intense cum! But, be careful. After awhile your clit "needs" that much stimulation to cum, and you really can't get it from fingers, tongues, etc.

 

[DarkMuse]

As most have said, you might want to head to the doctor or a psychologist.

And don't rely on vibrators/shower massage either, it CAN "desensitize" you, and make it more difficult to come any other way.

Um...just keep trying! I'm the "evasive O", and have trouble making myself cum, but my boyfriend somehow ALWAYS gets me to...*shrug* not sure why, or what he does to cause that, but yeah...it works.

 

[College_geek]

The shower massage is great....very intense cum! But, be careful. After awhile your clit "needs" that much stimulation to cum, and you really can't get it from fingers, tongues, etc.

Unfortunately I already figured that out...but I didn't really understand it at the time. All my senior year in high school, that's how I'd masturbate. I'd do it every weeknight after my shower. It got to the point where it would take me up to an hour to do it and I'd be really sore afterwards. Now that I'm in school, I've learned to use my finger and it's just as good sometimes. I do find it interesting, though, that last year, I tried my finger and it didn't work, but now, a year later, it feels so good.

 

[freddyandeddy]

My wife did not experience the Big O until our 10th year together! It took lots of love and trust to break through the barrier (as well as me NEVER questioning her about it) and she did so by using a product called an Eroscillator. It's kind of a vibrator, but the tip doesn't actually pound on the clitoris, instead rubbing in a circular motion at a very high rate of speed. I suspect her breakthrough came more from trusting herself enough to let loose than anything else. Relax and don't put pressure on yourself is the number one key. It will happen when it will happen.

 

[Zen_Life]

Don't think about it so hard during the stimulation. You coul dbe psyching yourself out.

Try to think about anything BUT how much you want to cum.

 

[angela146]

I've never orgasmed. I tried EVERYTHING my fingers, a guys fingers, a guys tongue, sex, vibrators, lube, etc. I just get to a point where I feel a despert need for a release but never get a release. Any advice?

It's a longshot but have you tried a guy's tongue and having him stroke your Gspot at the same time?

Or... have you tried a vibrator that does both inside and clit at the same time http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/toys/japanese_vibrators.html

As I said, this is a long shot...

 

[herecomestherain]

bignipples, hi. A couple of things have prompted me to post. Firstly, last night we watched a most amazing French documentary called, wait for it, "The Clitoris- Forbidden Pleasure", the whole program was extremely interesting but the bit that made think of your current "dilemma" was a piece of research currently underway in Holland into the female sexual response.

The female Dr. being interviewed summed up her findings by saying that the results she achieved show that women can learn to orgasm. Her researchers, I might add were having a great time! She's stopped using the phrase anorgasmic (nonorgasmic) and now refers to woman who haven't yet achieved orgasm as preorgasmic. Sort of changes the focus I think.

She showed in her research that sometimes the connection between the brain and the genitals needs "training". The most effective method of doing this was to actually be shown how to masturbate and then practice. Now I know this not an easy one, to have someone do in real life so I can only think that perhaps getting hold of a video by someone like the Queen of Masturbation Betty Dodson who has taught thousands of women to masturbate and orgasm maybe helpful.http://www.bettydodson.com

Another way of training the brain/genital connection in my experience is to make sex and pleasure your hobby! Read and immerse yourself in information, sexy stories, photos, porn,get to know yourself and your body as well you can, Work on becoming a sensualist,wear soft fabrics, take long soapy showers, turn yourself on a little all the time, relax and fantasize, look out for things that appeal to you. This sort of way of operating allows you to be open to pleasurable possibility wherever and whenever it comes along. An orgasm may well sneak up on you when you least expect it!

The other reason for posting is, if you are anything like me, no amount of buzzing around with a vibrator does it for me unless my head is turned on. Yes it feels nice, but it won't take me over the edge. If I'm solo, I read something erotic or just downright dirty or fantasize. The brain has got to be engaged for me to orgasm.

Olivia St.Claire in her gorgeous book "Unleashing the Sex Goddess in Every Woman" from Batam Books (highly recommended, one of my all time faves.) describes about 100 ways to self pleasure. She makes this point , "If through self pleasuring you discover that it takes twenty minutes of constant clitoral stimulation to make you come then you've discovered a great secret." Once you know what does it for you, it's possible to share that information with your partner and explore other ways together.

Finding what triggers you is a fun journey, don't get too serious about it. Trust me,soon the "track" between your head and your genitals will be well established, I'm thinking major highway here girl! Oh and then you get obsessed...but that's another story.

Sorry, I've just realised that I've written a novel...

 

[herecomestherain]

bignipples, hi. A couple of things have prompted me to post. Firstly, last night we watched a most amazing French documentary called, wait for it, "The Clitoris- Forbidden Pleasure", the whole program was extremely interesting but the bit that made think of your current "dilemma" was a piece of research currently underway in Holland into the female sexual response.

The female Dr. being interviewed summed up her findings by saying that the results she achieved show that women can learn to orgasm. Her researchers, I might add were having a great time! She's stopped using the phrase anorgasmic (nonorgasmic) and now refers to woman who haven't yet achieved orgasm as preorgasmic. Sort of changes the focus I think.

She showed in her research that sometimes the connection between the brain and the genitals needs "training". The most effective method of doing this was to actually be shown how to masturbate and then practice. Now I know this not an easy one, to have someone do in real life so I can only think that perhaps getting hold of a video by someone like the Queen of Masturbation Betty Dodson who has taught thousands of women to masturbate and orgasm maybe helpful.http://www.bettydodson.com

Another way of training the brain/genital connection in my experience is to make sex and pleasure your hobby! Read and immerse yourself in information, sexy stories, photos, porn,get to know yourself and your body as well you can, Work on becoming a sensualist,wear soft fabrics, take long soapy showers, turn yourself on a little all the time, relax and fantasize, look out for things that appeal to you. This sort of way of operating allows you to be open to pleasurable possibility wherever and whenever it comes along. An orgasm may well sneak up on you when you least expect it!

The other reason for posting is, if you are anything like me, no amount of buzzing around with a vibrator does it for me unless my head is turned on. Yes it feels nice, but it won't take me over the edge. If I'm solo, I read something erotic or just downright dirty or fantasize. The brain has got to be engaged for me to orgasm.

Olivia St.Claire in her gorgeous book "Unleashing the Sex Goddess in Every Woman" from Batam Books (highly recommended, one of my all time faves.) describes about 100 ways to self pleasure. She makes this point , "If through self pleasuring you discover that it takes twenty minutes of constant clitoral stimulation to make you come then you've discovered a great secret." Once you know what does it for you, it's possible to share that information with your partner and explore other ways together.

Finding what triggers you is a fun journey, don't get to serious about it. Trust me,soon the "track" between your head and your genitals will be well established, I'm thinking major highway here girl! Oh and then you get obsessed...but that's another story.

 

[ChromeCollar]

That was a really great post herecomestherain. I really enjoyed reading it.

 

[herecomestherain]

When I was 21...

Thanks ChromeCollar, I do tend to get on to a rave...but damn if there aren't a thousand things I wish someone had told me when I was 21! I'm absolutely serious about the pursuing sex and pleasure as your hobby. Study up and enjoy. Knowledge is a powerful thing. Why wait until you're 40 to become a fully fledged sex goddess! There's so much information, so many great ideas and people willing to share their experiences out there. So much to do, so little time to do it in. I sometimes feel like I'm going to have to live two lifetimes to play all the games I want to play!

I heard this on the previously referenced documentary and it's food for thought: (don't want to hijack the thread...)

Apparently in a research review of the 20 or so texts used in High School Sex Education classes in the US, 10 failed to mention the female orgasm or the existance of the clitoris at all. Hmmm?

 

[SlowGuy]

Re: When I was 21...

Apparently in a research review of the 20 or so texts used in High School Sex Education classes in the US, 10 failed to mention the female orgasm or the existance of the clitoris at all. Hmmm?

Let me guess, they were textbooks in states Bush carried in 2000.

Bignips: To echo what others have said, I've heard a lot of anecdotal evidence the women get more orgasmic as they get older. Having children, hitting their late thirties, finding the right guy, or just getting more comfortable with themselves.