Orgasm Control

[redelicious]

I was trying to explain the concept of orgasm control to a friend and realized, with my limited experience, that there was no way I could do it justice.

Can anyone define this for me? What is it used for? Is it something that you have practiced?

I have also heard that there can be some problems associated with it where the sub may find themselves unable to orgasm without their Dom/mes. How do you avoid this?

Thank you in advance for your thoughts.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I was trying to explain the concept of orgasm control to a friend and realized, with my limited experience, that there was no way I could do it justice.

Can anyone define this for me? What is it used for? Is it something that you have practiced?

I have also heard that there can be some problems associated with it where the sub may find themselves unable to orgasm without their Dom/mes. How do you avoid this?

Thank you in advance for your thoughts.

Well it is a broad subject.

It is a range of activities consisting of tantric masturbaton (i.e. edging, crowning, prostate massage), orgasm denial, milking, and or orgasm denial.

Eb

 

[A Desert Rose]

I have also heard that there can be some problems associated with it where the sub may find themselves unable to orgasm without their Dom/mes. How do you avoid this?

I have experienced this. Since our relationship ended several months ago, I have had this difficulty and I don't know what is the cause so, I am unable to find a cure at the present time, (except for self administration, I have been unable to accomplish an orgasm.)

Am I clear, Red?

Rose

 

[redelicious]

Re: Re: Orgasm Control

Well it is a broad subject.

It is a range of activities consisting of tantric masturbaton (i.e. edging, crowning, prostate massage), orgasm denial, milking, and or orgasm denial.

Eb

See, that shows my naivity. Is this something you use with your subs? Is it used primarily for control or to enhance their sexual experiences.

Thank you for your answer.



edited for spelling

 

[redelicious]

Re: Re: Orgasm Control

I have experienced this. Since our relationship ended several months ago, I have had this difficulty and I don't know what is the cause so, I am unable to find a cure at the present time, (except for self administration, I have been unable to accomplish an orgasm.)

Am I clear, Red?

Rose

Wow Rose, I am sorry to hear that.

I wonder if anyone else has experienced this and has some tips?

Thank you for your response.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Orgasm Control

See, that shows my naitivity. Is this something you use with your subs? Is it used primarily for control or to enhance their sexual experiences.

Thank you for your answer.

MY answer relates to orgasm control for men. I use it yes because my sub's cum and cock and balls belong to me and therefore I control orgasm.

It is a control tool used to reinforce feelings of obedience and submission. Sometimes they enjoy it, sometimes not. They can never assume that they will be allowed to cum at all.

Eb

 

[redelicious]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Orgasm Control

MY answer relates to orgasm control for men. I use it yes because my sub's cum and cock and balls belong to me and therefore I control orgasm.

It is a control tool used to reinforce feelings of obedience and submission. Sometimes they enjoy it, sometimes not. They can never assume that they will be allowed to cum at all.

Eb

I appreciate your answer, especially the last sentence.

Thank you.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I have also heard that there can be some problems associated with it where the sub may find themselves unable to orgasm without their Dom/mes.

I do not have female subs, but in my case, it is never a problem. If I allow my sub to cum, it is by masturbation.

I regularly ask them what they do away from me, and so far they are just jacking away, unless I intervene. I do not intervene with part-time subs. My only requirement comes before they are to see me. Then I forbid them to cum for a period of days.


Eb

 

[pierced_boy]

Orgasm control

redelicious

This can take many forms, one is as Ebony describes, that is as a form of submission/ discipline/commitment by the submissive controlled by the Top. Mainly on submissive men.


Orgasm control can be applied the same way I guess to women but in my (limited) experience it is better if used as part of ESO techniques.
There are some good books on this subject look at Amazon and search on ESO. Alan P Brauer,MD and Donna J Brauer ISBN 0-446-38645-6

Basically it is about raising arousal level to very high plateau and holding it there for a long time and learning to break off small bits of orgasm, extending the length of argasm for a very long time. Tantric sex texts talk of simialr things. It works for both men and women and requires a loving and patient partner. In D/s it could be used as a teasing/torture/training technique, not allowing a sub to have the release. Somebody trained to reach the very high plateau of arousal could be held there for a very long time and eventually denied release or not at the whim of the Top

I have trained my partner and she can have very long arousal episodes and well...

I am partially trained and well... Too much info here.


We love this type of play and use it in D/s and other play. We use it with each other as we switch.

Re-arousal after a session is often very quick and reaching the plateau level can sometimes be achieved in minutes during the next twenty four hours or so. A Top who knows this could send a submissive into orgasm very quickly in humiliating circumstances if they so desired. Interesting possiblities i guess if you are that way inclined.

hope this helps

H

 

[WillowPuss]

Ohhh pierced_boy has just saved me a heck of a lot of typing!

Master does that with me.
And ... yes - the next 24 hours after such play it only takes one touch and I am way back up there.



Now - as to the question of reaching orgasm with Master ... I am afraid I just can't answer that. I just have never tried.

 

["angel" eve]

backfire

i've experienced the "very difficult to come w/o master's consent" problem.

i was in a relationship prior to this one (at least prior to my girl and i becoming commited to each other) we did not play at D/s very seriously at all, it wasn't his thing, although he enjoyed elements of it. i trained *myself* not to come until he would tap my cunt a certain way, then i would come, hard, and it felt wonderful. i could also come if i felt him blow a stream of cool air across my wet cunt... he never demanded that i didn't come until either of these occured. it became a mental thing for myself. he noticed, and took pride in it. but it wasn't that he required it.

now, i am only with my girl. she demands, in any D/s situation that i not come until she says i may. when she says "come" it is a command, and i am sorry if i cannot comply right then for whatever reason.

but she cannot match the simple little tap i got so used to with my former partner.

from all of this, i can pretty much forget masturbating to get off. release has become associated with that tap, that breath of air, or or stinging slap and a command. and i'm still stumbling with this.

it is deepend, psychologically that i can no longer masturbate effectively, because when i was with both partners for a period of time, i never felt the need to masturbate, i had what i wanted, or i didn't have time anyway. now i am with one partner, and sometimes i don't have the energy, or she is not around. i should be able to masturbate if i wish, but i tend not to bother, knowing reaching orgasm is difficult, and because i like to share my orgasm with someone.

this is a trap i've put myself in.

forget 2 cents, my 10 cents is free.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: backfire

i've experienced the "very difficult to come w/o master's consent" problem.

but she cannot match the simple little tap i got so used to with my former partner.

this is a trap i've put myself in.

uh huh..... I understand this.

Rose

 

[Guest]

Re: Orgasm control

redelicious

This can take many forms, one is as Ebony describes, that is as a form of submission/ discipline/commitment by the submissive controlled by the Top. Mainly on submissive men.


Orgasm control can be applied the same way I guess to women but in my (limited) experience it is better if used as part of ESO techniques.
There are some good books on this subject look at Amazon and search on ESO. Alan P Brauer,MD and Donna J Brauer ISBN 0-446-38645-6

Basically it is about raising arousal level to very high plateau and holding it there for a long time and learning to break off small bits of orgasm, extending the length of argasm for a very long time. Tantric sex texts talk of simialr things. It works for both men and women and requires a loving and patient partner. In D/s it could be used as a teasing/torture/training technique, not allowing a sub to have the release. Somebody trained to reach the very high plateau of arousal could be held there for a very long time and eventually denied release or not at the whim of the Top

I have trained my partner and she can have very long arousal episodes and well...

I am partially trained and well... Too much info here.


We love this type of play and use it in D/s and other play. We use it with each other as we switch.

Re-arousal after a session is often very quick and reaching the plateau level can sometimes be achieved in minutes during the next twenty four hours or so. A Top who knows this could send a submissive into orgasm very quickly in humiliating circumstances if they so desired. Interesting possiblities i guess if you are that way inclined.

hope this helps

H

Thanks for elaborating clarifying this difficult subject.

Eb

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Orgasm control

Thanks for elaborating clarifying this difficult subject.

Eb

That was me, I timed out!

Eb

 

[A Desert Rose]

Eb, could you elaborate

on the tantric masterbation and the terms you used in reference to that?

Thank you,
Rose

 

[WriterDom]

Re: Re: Orgasm Control

Well it is a broad subject.

It is a range of activities consisting of tantric masturbaton (i.e. edging, crowning, prostate massage), orgasm denial, milking, and or orgasm denial.

Eb

What is milking?

 

[P. B. Walker]

If I'm in a subby mood, I really enjoy this kind of play. Holding out for my Top to tell me when I'm allowed to cum... mmm yummy. I love getting to that point where I'm just insane with the need to cum so badly...


I've also used this in my few topping episodes, but I perfer to have her cum as much as possibly rather than make her hold out for long periods.

PBW

 

[P. B. Walker]

Re: Re: Re: Orgasm Control

What is milking?

I believe milking is similar to prostate massage, however the person in charge takes it one step further had makes him cum, but without the orgasm. It's basically like allowing the male sub the ejaculation, but without the pleasure. Although, I'm not sure if there is absolutely no pleasure, or if it's just not as pleasureable as a regular orgasm. There was a thread about this on the "How To" forum some time ago... like maybe a month ago.

PBW

 

[PlayDoe]

Moo Moo cow

The technique of prostate massage actually involves two (three) organs of the male reproductive system: the prostate gland, the seminal vessicles, and the ampulla, which is the reservoir which actually holds the male sperm just prior to ejaculation. The prostate gland when engorged can be felt by pressing a finger into the middle of the perineum (in back of the scrotum). It is a rounded lump about the size of a large marble. It can also be accessed via the rectum, where it can again be felt as a rounded lump toward the front of the body and just about an index finger's length inside the rectum. A better way to find it from the rectum is to insert the middle finger, and slide it from just inside the rectum (on the front side) up and in until you feel it move over a lump. That will be the prostate. Just in back of (up from) the prostate is a smaller and roughly triangular wedge shaped nodule that is the bottom portion of the somewhat larger seminal vessicles, which is where most of the fluid of the ejaculate is produced and accumulated. Underneath the seminal vessicles are the ampulla.

During sexual arousal, sperm and ejaculatory fluid accumulate in these glands backing up behind valves in the ejaculatory ducts. When fluid pressure reaches a high enough threshold, the valves open and the urethral bulb fills, triggering the ejaculatory reflex and muscular contractions of orgasm, which empties the glands.

The seminal vessicles, ampulla and prostate can also be emptied by massage of these glands through the rectum. Rhythmically massaging the organs in an in-and-out motion with an anal dildo is one way, but perhaps a more reliable way is to simply use either the middle finger or the middle finger and index finger together (well lubricated), to apply a firm slow massage over the nodules of the glands inside the rectum. The massage will force the seminal fluid and sperm past the valves in the ejaculatory ducts, and empty the prostate (which discharges directly into the urethra). If arousal is low or penile stimulation is stopped for a brief time before the prostate massage begins, draining of the ejaculate into the urethra will not trigger orgasm. Once ejaculate appears at the meatus, it will help to empty the urethra by running a finger firmly up the underside of the penis from the root to the head, pushing the ejaculate in front of it.

A variant of the prostate massage that is quite effective in limiting any tendency to orgasm and the pleasurable sensations of fluid passing through the ejaculatory ducts and urethra, is the "ice massage": at least 10 minutes prior to the prostate massage, plastic bags full of crushed ice are packed around the male's cock and balls. The bags remain in place during the prostate milking. When the massage is completed, the bags are removed. This technique also makes a very appropriate opportunity to install a chastity device on the male's shriveled penis. (This technique works best if the male if fastened down - it's very hard to get a man to stay still when his genitals are being frozen.) Naturally, hubby will not be at all pleased to be denied the small amount of pleasure of the surrogate orgasm as the milked fluid is forced through his numbed ejaculatory ducts.

A condom may be used to collect the ejaculate, so that the mistress can gage when an amount of fluid normal for an orgasm has been collected. At this point the prostate massage can be ended.

While the prostate massage is very pleasurable, most men are unable to orgasm by prostate massage without some kind of penile stimulation. Once a sufficient amount of ejaculatory fluid has been drained, insufficient fluid pressure to trigger the ejaculatory reflex will remain, and no amount of penile stimulation will result in orgasm until the fluid glands are recharged. This may take several hours to several days.

This technique may be used to frustrate male masturbation and orgasm if applied at appropriately timed intervals. That may need to be once every day or two unless the male is secured in a chastity belt. Belted males will still need to have their glands drained every few weeks to maybe 3 months in order to avoid nocturnal ejaculations with orgasm. With regular prostate milkings, a male may be deprived of orgasmic release for an arbitrarily long time with no deleterious effects.

How long to go between milkings will have to be gauged by experiment. You want to go as long as possible without triggering an orgasmic wet dream, since the pressure of fluid buildup increases the urgency of orgasm denial. That's the whole point, right? The longest I've gone without an orgasm in my adult life is maybe a month or so. While I didn't have a wet dream, I had rock hard and throbbing erections within my chastity device after about 10 days or so. I'd guess that 6 weeks between milkings might be a good start. Then add a couple of weeks to that each time between milkings, until a wet dream is triggered (but don't go longer than 3 months between milkings). You should add a clause to your contract that hubby must confess any wet dream or other spontaneous orgasm. I'd suggest that you restart the one year chastity period from that day if one occurs. He's already had his orgasm, and will have to wait the full period till the next one.

A particularly effective way of increasing an orgasm deprived male's sense of sexual frustration between prostate milkings is to masturbate him once a day every day to just short of orgasm, then install a chastity device. I'd say this at least triples the urgency of orgasm denial. If you do this, you will need to milk him more often, maybe every 2-4 weeks. After milking, the cycle can be started over. One woman I know sometimes masturbates her hubby to just short of orgasm multiple times a day between milkings!

 

[A Desert Rose]

BOY HOWDY

How do you know all this stuff, pal?

Rose

 

[P. B. Walker]

Wow... great post PlayDoe. That's very close to what I read. Glad you could post it. I had forgotten about the ice... ohh so evil.... hehehe.

PBW

 

[PlayDoe]

Moooowhooohahahaaaaaaa.

I know all this stuff cuz I'm really..........

Dr. Evil

That plus I'm

Belgium (not really).


Glad I could be of help PB. Where you been lately?

 

[P. B. Walker]

Moooowhooohahahaaaaaaa.

I know all this stuff cuz I'm really..........

Dr. Evil

That plus I'm

Belgium (not really).


Glad I could be of help PB. Where you been lately?

Been? I've been here and there. Just got outta the heavy bush yesterday. We had some good hunting... kilt us alot of VC.

PBW

 

[redelicious]

Wow!!!

What wonderful comments you all have given me. This is really terrific information.

Thank you all very much.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Eb, could you elaborate

on the tantric masterbation and the terms you used in reference to that?

Thank you,
Rose

I bet there are guys who can elaborate better than I can. There are a whole bunch of clubs that are dedicated to tantric masturbation.

I have two links that are either tantric masturbation or cock teasing and orgasm denial.

You can also do a google search:
tantric masturbation for men or for women.


Male Tantric Masturbation Group

Cock Teasing & Orgasm Denial Group