Orbital Mind Control Lasers

[Dillinger]

Do you believe they're out there? Do you know anyone who's been affected?

You may ask:

Q: What is an Orbital Mind Control Laser?

A: There is no such thing as an Orbital Mind Control Laser.

Q: How does the Orbital Mind Control Laser work?

A: There is no such thing as an Orbital Mind Control Laser.

Q: Are Orbital Mind Control Lasers dangerous?

A: If there were Orbital Mind Control Lasers they would pose absolutely no threat to anyone.

Q: Can I protect myself from Orbital Mind Control Lasers?

A: As earlier stated, OMCLs, hypothetically, are not dangerous. Not to mention, putting tin foil on your head WILL NOT stop them.

Q: Why do I get these awful headaches and urges to assassinate major political leaders?

A: I would not acknowledge such a question as having anything to do with OMCLs. OMCLs do not cause people to have headaches, kill presidents, buy Coca-cola, get divorced, or listen to Elvis. Any such suggestion is purely fictitious.

 

[Siren]

I know they exist cuz I use them all the time

 

[Stonedagger]

hehehehehehehe

OMCLs - that explains alot - HEHEHEHEHEHE

 

[lavender]

 

[Dillinger]

lavy - Let's just say I was... Inspired...

Siren - uh, because you have BIG tits and would go crazy for my COCK?

StoneDagger - explainations are my forte.

 

[Siren]

Dilly why does that response sound like

 

[Barb Dwyer]

It has been scientifically proven that HATS do provide some relief and protection from OMCL. The tin foil theory has been rejected - and for good reason. It wrinkles so easily!!!

I do have a question for you, though. Where can I buy the t-shirt that says "My brain is controlled from Outer Space"?

 

[Neale]

FNORD!

 

[Starfish]

Dillinger,

We at the Orbital Funhouse, who control the mind lasers, refuse to tolerate your insolence.


Now, take off your clothes and dance about your living room and jiggle your cock....


Take off your stupid WWI motercycle helmet.

Now! or we'll come down there and give you a jolt.

 

[beckbabe]

I beg to differ, tin foil if layered correctly can be used to ward off the long term effects of OMCL's. A seven inch pyramid of copper wire suspended above your head for 12 hours a day will also significantly reduce hair loss often associated with OCML exposure.

 

[*Lazer*]

BOINKO

You're all wrong damnit!! Dole banana stickers on your thumbnails and earlobes are what blocks the ionic flow esp if you you wear a fedora too. It bounces the beams towards the adolescent idiot down the street's genitals and causes him to scream out " Mondo bueno El Sirena is mucho simpaticao to mia mojo"!!!!

 

[alexander tzara]

Hey quite doing that, Lazergurrrl. I can't get my mojo to switch off now.

 

[*Lazer*]

Why would you ever want to switch it off Alex??

 

[Svedish_Chef]

He just wants to know where to find the button.

Will you show him or do I have to?

 

[alexander tzara]

Why would you ever want to switch it off Alex??

To save having to buy new batteries. I'm Scottish, remember.

 

[*Lazer*]

I thought it was operated by floodgates

 

[LordMagicMan]

So if I work for the government think they will let me play with one... Wheeeee