On jumping in with both feet versus building a foundation

[Britva415]

One absolutely solid rule of thumb is to not pollute the first several paragraphs with excessive, ideally not even any, past-perfect tense statements.

"Had had had had had haddy hadhad" makes me nope out early and often.

Mostly for the reason I described previously: Nothing is happening while one backfills around the present scene and occasion which they ostensibly began the story in.

"It was a dark and stormy night" is the here-and-now, so, to immediately and repeatedly and persistently remove the reader from what was just established is to stop storytelling. Nothing can happen if you rewind and flash back to stuff that's over.

There are better ways to establish some previous fact and sometimes it's better to just not even do it at all. But if one must, I prefer finding a way which uses past-perfective extremely sparingly if at all.

And I'm not just talking about using a single past-perfective statement to establish the frame of a previous time and place, and then proceed to narrate a whole scene of stuff which still is removed from the present scene. That's just a grammatical trick. The whole aside is still something that's over and done with.

Something like this in the first scene of a story just strikes me as clumsy, and makes me not confident about how the remainder of the story will come off.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

There is room for both, but in the Lit world jumping right in makes more sense to me.
When a reader clicks on your story they have VERY little invested at that point. A thousand other stories are 2 clicks away. You need to make them want to keep reading, to start making an investment of their time.
If the first two or three sentences aren't interesting I'm hitting the back button and looking for something else.

Since Larry Niven came up, look at the start to Ringworld.

"In the nighttime heart of Beirut, in one of a row of general address transfer booths, Louis Wu flicked into reality."

That makes you think, WTF is happening here, what's a transfer booth? Flicked into reality? Even the name seems a little odd, a very western first name and an eastern last name, which makes me wonder who this guy is?

I've got questions that need answering, so I'm going to keep reading.

 

[VallesMarineris]

Thanks for the how to and other stuff. I'm still curious; which works best for you, and why?

My apologies. Your question inspired me and I lapsed into professor mode.

I always begin in medias res because I think in scenes and where the rubber meets the road, that is, when I'm putting words down "on paper", I'm describing the scene I see in my imagination. I often type in the scene with my eyes closed while I watch the scene happen. I sometimes feel like I'm my subconscious's amanuensis.

Yes, I have ideas for stories and I write those down, but that's just so I don't forget them. They're not the story.

If you read my stuff, you'll find I'm typically slicing and dicing the timeline, because I try to turn even the background and backstory into scenes, with background narrative only the minimum "glue" to connect the scenes and make the plot work.

 

[Duleigh]

My question is, which works best for you, and why?

I like what you did there, and it's how I will start a story. Jump in bigtime with both guns blazing, there's time for exposition later. Grab the reader's attention, set the hook then reel 'em in. Oh, and blame Canada for the weather (very effecting for our readers in Western New York and upstate Minnesota) It's how many writers did it:

“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.” - 1984, George Orwell

“As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.” — Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka

“It was the day my grandmother exploded.” — The Crow Road, Iain M. Banks

“Mother died today. Or, maybe, yesterday; I can’t be sure.” — The Stranger, Albert Kamus

“‘Where’s Papa going with that axe?’ said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast.” — Charlotte’s Web, E.B. White

“Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.” — Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s/Sorcerer’s Stone, JK Rowling

“When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton.” — The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkien

“All children, except one, grow up” — Peter Pan, J.M. Barrie

“Dr. Strauss says I shud rite down what I think and evrey thing that happins to me from now on, I dont know why but he says its importint so they will see if they will use me.” – Flowers For Algernon, Daniel Keyes

“First of all, it was October, a rare month for boys.” — Something Wicked This Way Comes, Ray Bradbury

“Marley was dead, to begin with.” — A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens

“I’d never given much thought to how I would die – though I’d had reason enough in the last few months – but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this.” — Twilight, Stephanie Meyer

 

[dirk2024]

I'm a little surprised at the responses here. It seems like, in the past months I've been reading/responding to posts here in the AH, that a lot of authors prefer the slow burn approach. Yet the posts I see above seem to advocate for leaping into the lake.

For me, I like a hint, a flirtation of sex, at the beginning, but want to know more about the characters. If I start to read a story and its a fuckfest from the get go, I'm outta there.

I have a couple of WIP's where the story starts after the sex romp, with the participants nude in bed, but then the characters are developed before there is another full sex scene.

 

[ChloeTzang]

As a rule of thumb, Jump right in. Narrative and background at the start is a killer

You have that first paragraph to hook your reader. You have the first page to reel them in and keep the line tight. At the end that that first scene, that last paragraph should eb the hook into the next scene to keep them flipping pages.

"I stayed up reading until 5am and I had to go to work at six but I HAD to finish the story" is the aimed for reader response. LOL

Work in only as much backstory as you need to keep the story flowing Ieasier to say than to do)

My approach is to build that world in my head and work in bits and pieces of background as the story progresses......

 

[lovecraft68]

“Humanity at its best.” The cute redhead standing next to me laughed as we watched the chaos at the gate. The airline had just announced that the snowstorm outside had forced them to cancel all flights.

That's the first line of a story I just started. Obviously, I'm dropping the reader right in the middle of something. But I also give just a hint of background so that they're not completely lost.
Our MC is in an airport, standing next to a cute redhead. The redhead has a sense of humor. Flights have been cancelled due to weather, ands there is chaos about.

Alternately, I could have started by introducing the MC, perhaps even the redhead and explained how the storm had raged down from Canada dumping ungodly amounts of icey cold stuff in its path. I could have told the reader all about the MC, what he looked like, what he does for a living, why he was in the airport. I could have taken half a page to set the stage. Either way works.

My question is, which works best for you, and why?

All skate... Go...

I normally believe in jumping right in is a better way to hook a reader.
Having said that, any opening discussing Humanity at its best-while meaning worst-is always a winner for me.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

I like what you did there, and it's how I will start a story. Jump in bigtime with both guns blazing, there's time for exposition later. Grab the reader's attention, set the hook then reel 'em in

My Writing Group colleague Eddie started his last story thus:

Avidia ran.

Carefully pruned rosebushes and topiary animals seemed to race past her as she used her best speed. She heard the padding of shoeless feet striking grass behind her. She didn't turn to look. It would have slowed her. They were catching up.

--Annie

 

[Statius]

Rushdie did the same with SV. Don't remember the exact opening words and I'm too lazy to get off my ass and look but it opens with the 2 MC's falling out of the sky from an exploded airplane.

 

[ElectricBlue]

My Writing Group colleague Eddie started his last story thus:

--Annie

A sequel to The Shining, methinks?

 

[TheWritingGroup]

A sequel to The Shining, methinks?

Not so much.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

I'm a little surprised at the responses here. It seems like, in the past months I've been reading/responding to posts here in the AH, that a lot of authors prefer the slow burn approach. Yet the posts I see above seem to advocate for leaping into the lake.

For me, I like a hint, a flirtation of sex, at the beginning, but want to know more about the characters. If I start to read a story and its a fuckfest from the get go, I'm outta there.

I have a couple of WIP's where the story starts after the sex romp, with the participants nude in bed, but then the characters are developed before there is another full sex scene.

Jumping right in isn't inconsistent with a slow burn.

We aren't jumping right into sex, rather there is something going on when the story starts.

 

[Britva415]

I'm a little surprised at the responses here. It seems like, in the past months I've been reading/responding to posts here in the AH, that a lot of authors prefer the slow burn approach. Yet the posts I see above seem to advocate for leaping into the lake.

A compelling first page is not contrary to a slow burn at all.

A slow burn still has to burn.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

A compelling first page is not contrary to a slow burn at all.

A slow burn still has to burn.

You need a spark to start the fire.

 

[dirk2024]

A compelling first page is not contrary to a slow burn at all.

A slow burn still has to burn.

You need a spark to start the fire.

Hopefully, I've tossed out a spark or two. Perhaps I misinterpreted the comments as I felt they were calling for quick sexual interactions.

 

[DeMont]

A compelling first page is not contrary to a slow burn at all.

A slow burn still has to burn.

@Britva415,
Good evening my dear colleague, I think you have a valid point there. It is the reader, ultimately, whom passes judgment on whether your "slow burn" start is at the right temperature or not. This, I find, is one of the tricks that we have to get a good grasp of.

Is the "slow burn" start using the "intriguing" signposts of yet more revelations to come thus forming questions that the reader wants answered? Is the slow burn smoldering too low for a reader to really get to grips with, and interested in it?

It is, I think, dependent, to a large degree upon how the author perceives their audience either from prior reading and comments or knowledge of the audience of a particular category.

Again, most likely it is one of those things that we, as writers, need use our own judgment on.
Respectfully,
D.

 

[iwatchus]

Perhaps I misinterpreted the comments as I felt they were calling for quick sexual interactions.

Yes, I think you did misinterpret. There was a thread a few months ago about when a story needed its first sex, and there was no unanimity in that.

What I think everyone was saying is you need to catch the reader's attention immediately. If an author has nothing to offer other than sex (and this is not directed at you dirk), they should stick to writing short strokers. Good authors can choose to jump immediately into sexual action or at least teasing its approach immediately, but bad authors have no choice.

 

[dirk2024]

Yes, I think you did misinterpret. There was a thread a few months ago about when a story needed its first sex, and there was no unanimity in that.

What I think everyone was saying is you need to catch the reader's attention immediately. If an author has nothing to offer other than sex (and this is not directed at you dirk), they should stick to writing short strokers. Good authors can choose to jump immediately into sexual action or at least teasing its approach immediately, but bad authors have no choice.

Thanks. I think I can relax then. I do try and have a couple of hinting, teasing aspects to the beginning of my stories, but not sex.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

Thanks. I think I can relax then. I do try and have a couple of hinting, teasing aspects to the beginning of my stories, but not sex.

It doesn't even need to be teasing sex, or the relationship. I believe it was @ShelbyDawn57 who used this example previously, but think about a James Bond opening.
You start off right in the middle of something exciting. You're hooked. THEN it throttles down and we have the boring bits with James in M's office. The opening might only be tangentially connected to the plot, but it sets the table.

 

[Djmac1031]

Im a big fan of "Hook at the beginning" and use it often.

 

[dirk2024]

It doesn't even need to be teasing sex, or the relationship. I believe it was @ShelbyDawn57 who used this example previously, but think about a James Bond opening.
You start off right in the middle of something exciting. You're hooked. THEN it throttles down and we have the boring bits with James in M's office. The opening might only be tangentially connected to the plot, but it sets the table.

That's what I am aiming for, just not sure it's James Bond worthy.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

That's what I am aiming for, just not sure it's James Bond worthy.

Aim high!

 

[alohadave]

That's what I am aiming for, just not sure it's James Bond worthy.

That's a pretty low bar to be aiming for.

 

[Rob_Royale]

“Humanity at its best.” The cute redhead standing next to me laughed as we watched the chaos at the gate. The airline had just announced that the snowstorm outside had forced them to cancel all flights.

That's the first line of a story I just started. Obviously, I'm dropping the reader right in the middle of something. But I also give just a hint of background so that they're not completely lost.
Our MC is in an airport, standing next to a cute redhead. The redhead has a sense of humor. Flights have been cancelled due to weather, ands there is chaos about.

Alternately, I could have started by introducing the MC, perhaps even the redhead and explained how the storm had raged down from Canada dumping ungodly amounts of icey cold stuff in its path. I could have told the reader all about the MC, what he looked like, what he does for a living, why he was in the airport. I could have taken half a page to set the stage. Either way works.

My question is, which works best for you, and why?

All skate... Go...

This was the right way to start the story. The rest you can work into the dialog to follow.