On Being Tamed

mernie99

Literotica Guru
Joined
Nov 18, 2005
Posts
503
First of all, a bit of an introduction. I'm someone thinking about BDSM (quite a bit) ... the role of a sub. I suppose you could consider this is my "coming out" post on this board. Be gentle, please.

I'm a bit fan of the French children's book "The Little Prince". One chapter, in particular, speaks to me quite a bit. It's the chapter where the fox asks the little prince to tame him.

Here's a reference:
http://www.angelfire.com/hi/littleprince/framechapter21.html
(It's a short chapter.)

Now, I know that BDSM means a lot of things to a lot of people, but that it usually involves "training" or "discipline." I'm having a hard time cozying up to this concept, perhaps because I'm so strong willed. It's more than that, though. I think a wise and understanding master should look into our hearts, forgive much, and will be able to patiently express his lessons through other methods. At least, that would be most effective for me.

Is it possible for a romantic-at-heart such as myself to really come to terms with discipline? Or is it hopeless? I suspect that the best I can hope for is to be "tamed" (in a "Little Prince" sort of way) after a period of trust-building.

In other words, should I run back to the other boards?

By the way, vanilla is a lovely taste, too. I just crave something new. And there's so much about BDSM that appeals to me.
 
Mernie99,

Welcome.

There are many different flavors of BDSM. What works for you and whomever you spend time with is what is good. There is no one true or right way.

Fury :rose:

PS Pretty panties!
 
Welcome mernie99,

Of course a romantic-at-heart can also be a submissive. i would consider myself a romantic in some ways. D/s doesn't have to include training and discipline necessarily. It's about power exchange. Whatever form this takes is up to the couple.

PS i agree with Fury, nice panties!
 
mernie99 said:
Now, I know that BDSM means a lot of things to a lot of people, but that it usually involves "training" or "discipline." I'm having a hard time cozying up to this concept, perhaps because I'm so strong willed. It's more than that, though. I think a wise and understanding master should look into our hearts, forgive much, and will be able to patiently express his lessons through other methods. At least, that would be most effective for me.

Is it possible for a romantic-at-heart such as myself to really come to terms with discipline? Or is it hopeless? I suspect that the best I can hope for is to be "tamed" (in a "Little Prince" sort of way) after a period of trust-building.

Everyone has their own way of wanting to go about a relationship. The fact you want yours to be a more gentle guide instead of a more rigid Master doesn't make you strange.

I'm a really romantic guy. I had to eventually learn that my sub needed the discipline. By guiding her in the right directions, to do the hard things even when she didn't want to do them, I was improving her life. In my relationship, sometimes that guidance can take the form of corporal punishment -- but not always.

I think it's perfectly reconcilable, and I'd suggest you explore it.
 
Whew! I haven't been skewered by the BDSM community after my first post. And I even get compliments on my panties. (Although ass comments would have been nicer, but I'll take what I can get.) And I thought BSDM people were supposed to have a mean streak. You guys have been sweet as pie.

Thanks for the reassurances that perhaps I can step into the BDSM community without selling my soul.

Been dabbling in CollarMe a bit. The thing that irks me most are the "purists" ... as if you have to follow some special doctrine ... and the rest of us are posers. I may be a poser, for all I know (although more likely a "wannabe" than a "poser"), but I would prefer to give myself some latitude until I feel otherwise.
 
P and i's relationship is alot like this. He is a much more nurturing, loving, guiding type Dom than others we know. though, there is discipline and 'training' in our relationship, He does, as you said, forgive much. with all of that said, i agree with fury, that there are MANY flavors of this lifestyle and whatever works for you, is what's best...for you and yours ;)
 
mernie99 said:
Whew! I haven't been skewered by the BDSM community after my first post. And I even get compliments on my panties. (Although ass comments would have been nicer, but I'll take what I can get.) And I thought BSDM people were supposed to have a mean streak. You guys have been sweet as pie.

Thanks for the reassurances that perhaps I can step into the BDSM community without selling my soul.

Been dabbling in CollarMe a bit. The thing that irks me most are the "purists" ... as if you have to follow some special doctrine ... and the rest of us are posers. I may be a poser, for all I know (although more likely a "wannabe" than a "poser"), but I would prefer to give myself some latitude until I feel otherwise.

not sure where you got the idea that the BDSM community has a 'mean streak'?? and yes there are those who believe that there are a set of 'rules' one must follow in order to live as a submissive, or a Dominant, but i don't agree. i say, and alot agree that it's whatever works for you......
 
NICE ASS!







:D

Ok seriously. To toss my own 2 cents in. Here, you'll find a lot of answers boiling down to. Whatever works for you. And honestly, that's the best advice that anyone anywhere is going to give you.

Go slow. Do what *feels* right. Have fun.

If you can think it, it can be done. Some more easily than others.

Oh. And even though we're "kinky" doesn't mean we aren't people. I for one am having a hard time with my "humanity". But that's something else entirely.

Welcome to our corner of lit. Enjoy your stay.

PS. I wasn't joking about your ass. :devil:
 
mean is something people work for from me.

Anyhow, I can relate to a degree. The only times I've felt submissive it wasn't around someone being strict and rigid, nor someone being all cuddly and inane, but someone who knew how to sit there patiently in the forest for the unicorn to put her head in his lap. And someone who realizes that such elusive displays may happen once or twice in a century.
 
mernie99 said:
Whew! I haven't been skewered by the BDSM community after my first post. And I even get compliments on my panties. (Although ass comments would have been nicer, but I'll take what I can get.) And I thought BSDM people were supposed to have a mean streak. You guys have been sweet as pie.

Thanks for the reassurances that perhaps I can step into the BDSM community without selling my soul.

Been dabbling in CollarMe a bit. The thing that irks me most are the "purists" ... as if you have to follow some special doctrine ... and the rest of us are posers. I may be a poser, for all I know (although more likely a "wannabe" than a "poser"), but I would prefer to give myself some latitude until I feel otherwise.

I'm a member on collarme, mostly because you have to have a profile to be able to post there. Master and I have a giggle about some of the threads, because they're obviously written by HNGs (Horny Net Geeks) or people who are living in fantasyland :rolleyes:

I have been a sub to Master for 3 years. We are probably just like any other married couple on the surface. I wear a snake chain choker as my collar and also a wedding ring. We play and joke around and have a great relationship. I take care of Him as He has health problems and we like to have kinky sex with restraints and crops and such :D

For us the relationship and love we share comes first, the D/s is the icing on the cake.

BTW.....Nice Ass ;) and the panties are nice too :D
 
I don't understand 'being tamed' or being in a submissive 'role'.

I do understand learning and exploring with a new partner, and maybe that's what you mean. And if that's the case then it's all about you and your partner and nothing else and no one else really matters. What works and doesn't, is between the 2 of you.

Submission for me, isn't an occassional 'role' I play. For me, it's a personality trait, as much imbedded in me as my eye color. You may very well discover that you're a switch or even a Dominant, somewhere down the road.

As far as I know, there is no road map for this experience, which makes it all the more exciting. And getting lost occassionally, is a great deal of fun. ;-)
 
A Desert Rose said:
I don't understand 'being tamed' or being in a submissive 'role'.

I do understand learning and exploring with a new partner, and maybe that's what you mean. And if that's the case then it's all about you and your partner and nothing else and no one else really matters. What works and doesn't, is between the 2 of you.

Submission for me, isn't an occassional 'role' I play. For me, it's a personality trait, as much imbedded in me as my eye color. You may very well discover that you're a switch or even a Dominant, somewhere down the road.

As far as I know, there is no road map for this experience, which makes it all the more exciting. And getting lost occassionally, is a great deal of fun. ;-)

Submission is a part of me too and has been for as long as I can remember. This is my first D/s relationship and I've found where I truly belong. I've never had to be "tamed" or punished other than in play. I try my best to please my Dom/Husband in all things.

I like to use the analogy of a smorgasbord.....we take what pleases us from the BDSM menu and leave the rest :)
 
Bandit58 said:
Submission is a part of me too and has been for as long as I can remember. This is my first D/s relationship and I've found where I truly belong. I've never had to be "tamed" or punished other than in play. I try my best to please my Dom/Husband in all things. I think that's absolutely true of most subs.
I like to use the analogy of a smorgasbord.....we take what pleases us from the BDSM menu and leave the rest :) That's a great analogy, although I couldn't spell smorgasbord before you had. I can however, spell cafeteria. LOL

On different topic: I think that many people, especially women come looking for a D/s relationship with the vision of a romance bookcover in their heads. I'm a romantic at heart too, and can have my head turned pretty easily, but reality isn't what's on a Harlequin romance cover. And the words "being tamed" sound very much like a romance novel title.

The reality, to me, is that one is not tamed. She/he is taught. And so is her/his Dominant. The relationship is a learning, growing, exploring endeavor, for both parties.

But that's just my opinion...
 
mernie99 said:
First of all, a bit of an introduction. I'm someone thinking about BDSM (quite a bit) ... the role of a sub. I suppose you could consider this is my "coming out" post on this board. Be gentle, please.

I'm a bit fan of the French children's book "The Little Prince". One chapter, in particular, speaks to me quite a bit. It's the chapter where the fox asks the little prince to tame him.

Here's a reference:
http://www.angelfire.com/hi/littleprince/framechapter21.html
(It's a short chapter.)

Now, I know that BDSM means a lot of things to a lot of people, but that it usually involves "training" or "discipline." I'm having a hard time cozying up to this concept, perhaps because I'm so strong willed. It's more than that, though. I think a wise and understanding master should look into our hearts, forgive much, and will be able to patiently express his lessons through other methods. At least, that would be most effective for me.

Is it possible for a romantic-at-heart such as myself to really come to terms with discipline? Or is it hopeless? I suspect that the best I can hope for is to be "tamed" (in a "Little Prince" sort of way) after a period of trust-building.

In other words, should I run back to the other boards?

By the way, vanilla is a lovely taste, too. I just crave something new. And there's so much about BDSM that appeals to me.
Welcome, Mernie. Very creative first post. :)

It's been more than 30 years since I read The Little Prince in high school, so perhaps I am misremembering here, but as I recall the idea of "taming" in this book is used as a synonym for bonding between two human beings.

The Little Prince said:
To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.
As I understand it, this is a delightful metaphor for the bonding that takes place between any human beings through time, attention, and effort in a strong relationship - whether romantic, parent/child, friends, etc. Given the universal applicability of the metaphor, I would say that it definitely applies to strong D/s relationships..... along with all of the others too.

When I think of taming and D/s, I think of Shakespeare's play The Taming of the Shrew. Have you read it, or seen it performed? That's not a relationship model that I personally embrace, but there are some who do.

Mernie, I am curious to know (and this is genuine curiosity, not a challenge in any way) what your impression is of training in the D/s world. You mentioned "training" and "lessons" taught by a Dominant. What type of lessons do you think are taught, or would you like to be taught? What is the submissive being trained to do?
 
Netzach said:
mean is something people work for from me.

Anyhow, I can relate to a degree. The only times I've felt submissive it wasn't around someone being strict and rigid, nor someone being all cuddly and inane, but someone who knew how to sit there patiently in the forest for the unicorn to put her head in his lap. And someone who realizes that such elusive displays may happen once or twice in a century.


I like that!

I also say, there are many ways to do what we do on so many levels, you do what feels right for you.

Sometimes I'm a smartass and I wouldn't be happy with someone who didn't let me, be me. If I were always punished for that, then I wouldn't be happy. Also I do need someone to pulls the reigns back and tell me if I'm going to far, sometimes. So between strict and romantic? I'll take a happy medium. :)
 
welcome and to be original id like to say... great top of your legs.. i mean your ass is extremely hot and your panties are VERY sexy... BUT the tops of your legs take the cake ;)

back to the real subject... your absolutely right we are horrible mean cruel and intolerant people us into the bdsm life style so beware ;)

in all honesty one of the biggest rules of bdsm is open mindedness... a willingness to accept someone else’s kink... while you may not agree with what others find erotic.. it doesn’t rule out that some may... these kinds of board are designed to help people in their quest for knowledge about particular subjects and a place for like minded people to gather and chat...

as far as your particular desire and thoughts and feelings as the sub you want to be.. thats perfectly fine... such as no 2 relationship dynamics are alike in the vanilla world same in the bdsm world... like i said earlier every one likes different things and every one wants and needs different things. the goal is for you to discover within your self what it is you want need and desire and for a dom to help you achieve these feeling and experiences...
 
mernie99 said:
I suspect that the best I can hope for is to be "tamed" (in a "Little Prince" sort of way) after a period of trust-building.
You said it right there: you can't do any of the hugely varying aspects of BDSM (and really of any relationship) without trust. Trust is the key (well, that and communication :p), and the basis. So, it's not the best you can hope for.

Besides, there are lots of people who share your vision of "lead instead of push", romantic-esque style. Find one, build trust him him, and be happy.

And you're ass is hot, not to mention your profile picture ;) :D
 
mernie99 said:
Whew! I haven't been skewered by the BDSM community after my first post. And I even get compliments on my panties. (Although ass comments would have been nicer, but I'll take what I can get.)

LOL, I will decline commenting on the original question as I think most have covered the basics, but as to comments on arse, panties, etc., it reminds me of when I posted some interesting pics which drew lots of compliments from various gentlemen, some of who were rather upset when it was revealed the one they were lusting over was another guy!! :D Nice pic you have anyway and I am for the panties more than the arse simply because they drew my attention more. :cathappy:

Catalina :catroar:
 
catalina_francisco said:
LOL, I will decline commenting on the original question as I think most have covered the basics, but as to comments on arse, panties, etc., it reminds me of when I posted some interesting pics which drew lots of compliments from various gentlemen, some of who were rather upset when it was revealed the one they were lusting over was another guy!! :D Nice pic you have anyway and I am for the panties more than the arse simply because they drew my attention more. :cathappy:

Catalina :catroar:


hey nothing worng with a beautiful ass reguardless if its male or female....
(looks at own behind)
 
trojan_man_co said:
hey nothing worng with a beautiful ass reguardless if its male or female....
(looks at own behind)

My thoughts exactly...is one of my favourite body parts to play with and worship. :cathappy:

Catalina :catroar:
 
trojan_man_co said:
hey nothing worng with a beautiful ass reguardless if its male or female....
(looks at own behind)

Hehehe!

I quite agree. The most beautiful wrapping in the world would not be attractive if the flesh beneath it were not.

Cat,

I hate that happen once or twice too. Some men are so silly and homophobic. I adore beautiful skin and asses of all genders.

Fury :rose:
 
Not being english mother tongue ...I sometimes fall in love with english words beyond their mainstream meaning . " Taming " is one of them .

I don't know why but I love the idea to be someway "tamed" .... maybe some of you would raise eyebrows at that ... but in my own very personal imaginative "dictionary" it means to deal with someone who is able to take the challenge to make me totally surrender at his will . And I do love it immensely . :rose:
 
A Desert Rose said:
I don't understand 'being tamed' or being in a submissive 'role'.
Oh, ADR! You should read the chapter in question. I posted it in another thread , a while back, but here it is again. It's neither a SAM-my game nor a schmaltzy romance.

it was then that the fox appeared.
"good morning" said the fox.

"good morning"
the little prince responded politely
altho when he turned around he saw nothing.

"I am right here" the voice said, "under the apple
tree."

"who are you?" asked the little prince, and added,

"You are very pretty to look at."

"I am a fox", the fox said.

"Come and play with me,"
proposed the little prince, "I am so unhappy."

"I cannot play with you," the fox said,
"I am not tamed."

"AH please excuse me,"said the little prince.
But after some thought, he added:
"what does that mean---'tame'?"

"you do not live here," said the fox,
"what is it you are looking for?"

"I am looking for men," said the little prince.
"What does that mean---tame?"

"Men,"said the fox,
"they have guns, and they hunt.
It is very disturbing.
They also raise chickens.
These are their only interests.
Are you looking for chickens?"

"No," said the little prince.
"I am looking for friends.
What does that mean---tame?"

"It is an act too often neglected,"
said the fox.
"It means to establish ties."

"To establish ties?"

"Just that," said the fox.
"to me, you are still nothing more than
a little boy who is just like
a hundred thousand other little boys.
And I have no need of you.
And you, on your part, have no need of me.
To you I am nothing more
than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes.
But if you tame me, then we shall need each other.
To me, you will be unique in all the world.
To you, I shall be unique in all the world. . ."

"I am beginning to understand,"
said the little prince.

"There is a flower. . .I think she has tamed me. . ."

"It is possible," said the fox.

"On earth one sees all sorts of things."

"Oh but this is not on the earth!"
said the little prince.

The fox seemed perplexed, and very curious.
"On another planet?"

"Yes"

"Are there hunters on that planet?"

"No"

"Ah that's interesting! Are there chickens?"

"No"

"Nothing is perfect," sighed the fox.
But he came back to his idea.
"My life is very monotonous," he said.
"I hunt chickens; men hunt me.
All chickens are just alike,
and all the men are just alike.
And in consequence, I am a little bored.
But if you tame me,
it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life.
I shall know the sound of a step that will be
different from all the others.
Other steps send me hurrying back
underneath the ground.
Yours will call me, like music out of my burrow.
And then look:
you see the grain-fields down yonder?
I do not eat bread.
Wheat is of no use to me.
The wheat fields have nothing to say to me.
And that is sad.
But you have hair that is the color of gold.
Think how wonderful that will be
when you have tamed me!
The grain, which is also golden,
will bring me back the thought of you.
And I shall love to listen
to the wind in the wheat. . ."

The fox gazed at the little prince,
for a long time.
"Please---tame me!" he said.

"I want to, very much," the little prince replied.
"But I have not much time.
I have friends to discover,
and a great many things to understand."

"One only understands the things that one tames,"
said the fox.
" Men have no more time to understand anything.
They buy things all ready made at the shops.
But there is no shop anywhere
where one can buy friendship,
and so men have no friends any more.
If you want a friend, tame me. . ."

"What must I do, to tame you?
asked the little prince.

"You must be very patient," replied the fox.
First you will sit down
at a little distance from me
-like that-in the grass.
I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye,
and you will say nothing.
Words are the source of misunderstandings.
But you will sit a little closer to me,
every day..."

The next day the little prince came back.

"It would have been better to come back
at the same hour," said the fox.
"If for example, you came at four o'clock
in the afternoon,
then at three o'clock I shall begin to be happy.
I shall feel happier and happier
as the hour advances.
At four o'clock,
I shall be worrying and jumping about.
I shall show you how happy I am!
But if you come at just any time,
I shall never know at what hour
my heart is ready to greet you. . .
One must observe the proper rites. . ."

"What is a rite?" asked the little prince.

"Those also are actions too often neglected,"
said the fox.
"they are what make one day
different from other days,
one hour different from other hours.
There is a rite, for example, among my hunters.
Every Thursday they danse with the village girls.
So Thursday is a wonderful day for me!
I can take a walk as far as the vineyards.
But if the hunters danced at just any time,
every day would be like
every other day,
and I should never have any vacation at all."


So the little prince tamed the fox.
And when the hour of his departure drew near---

"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."

"It is your own fault," said the little prince.
"I never wished you any sort of harm;
but you wanted me to tame you. . ."

"Yes that is so", said the fox.

"But now you are going to cry!"
said the little prince.

"Yes that is so" said the fox.

"Then it has done you no good at all!"

"It has done me good," said the fox,
"because of the color of the wheat fields."
And then he added:
"go and look again at the roses.
You will understand now
that yours is unique in all the world.
Then come back to say goodbye to me,
and I will make you a present of a secret."

The little prince went away,
to look again at the roses.
"You are not at all like my rose," he said.
"As yet you are nothing.
No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one.
You are like my fox when I first knew him.
He was only a fox
like a hundred thousand other foxes.
But I have made a friend,
and now he is unique in all the world."
And the roses were very much embarrassed.
"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on.
"One could not die for you.
To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think
that my rose looked just like you
--the rose that belongs to me.
But in herself alone she is more important
than all the hundreds of you
other roses: because it is she that I have watered;
because it is she
that I have put under the glass globe;
because it is for her
that I have killed the caterpillars
(except the two or three we saved
to become butterflies);
because it is she that I have listened to,
when she grumbled,
or boasted,
or even sometimes when she said nothing.
Because she is MY rose."


And he went back to meet the fox.
"Goodbye" he said.

"Goodbye," said the fox.
"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret:
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly;
what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye,"
the little prince repeated,
so that he would be sure to remember.

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose
that makes your rose so important.

"It is the time I have wasted for my rose--
"said the little prince
so he would be sure to remember.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox.
"But you must not forget it.
You become responsible, forever,
for what you have tamed.
You are responsible for your rose. . ."

"I am responsible for my rose,"
the little prince repeated,
so that he would be sure to remember.


From the Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery
 
Thank you, nemo. I've read the book and I re-read the link after she posted. I'm sure others have not though, so you did a service to those who have not. My post was not in reference to the fiction but to the non-fictional words in her post. I was unclear on that, I guess.

In hindsight, though, my post is completely off the mark and irrelevant and thank you for pointing that out. ;-)

NemoAlia said:
Oh, ADR! You should read the chapter in question. I posted it in another thread , a while back, but here it is again. It's neither a SAM-my game nor a schmaltzy romance.

it was then that the fox appeared.
"good morning" said the fox.

"good morning"
the little prince responded politely
altho when he turned around he saw nothing.

"I am right here" the voice said, "under the apple
tree."

"who are you?" asked the little prince, and added,

"You are very pretty to look at."

"I am a fox", the fox said.

"Come and play with me,"
proposed the little prince, "I am so unhappy."

"I cannot play with you," the fox said,
"I am not tamed."

"AH please excuse me,"said the little prince.
But after some thought, he added:
"what does that mean---'tame'?"

"you do not live here," said the fox,
"what is it you are looking for?"

"I am looking for men," said the little prince.
"What does that mean---tame?"

"Men,"said the fox,
"they have guns, and they hunt.
It is very disturbing.
They also raise chickens.
These are their only interests.
Are you looking for chickens?"

"No," said the little prince.
"I am looking for friends.
What does that mean---tame?"

"It is an act too often neglected,"
said the fox.
"It means to establish ties."

"To establish ties?"

"Just that," said the fox.
"to me, you are still nothing more than
a little boy who is just like
a hundred thousand other little boys.
And I have no need of you.
And you, on your part, have no need of me.
To you I am nothing more
than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes.
But if you tame me, then we shall need each other.
To me, you will be unique in all the world.
To you, I shall be unique in all the world. . ."

"I am beginning to understand,"
said the little prince.

"There is a flower. . .I think she has tamed me. . ."

"It is possible," said the fox.

"On earth one sees all sorts of things."

"Oh but this is not on the earth!"
said the little prince.

The fox seemed perplexed, and very curious.
"On another planet?"

"Yes"

"Are there hunters on that planet?"

"No"

"Ah that's interesting! Are there chickens?"

"No"

"Nothing is perfect," sighed the fox.
But he came back to his idea.
"My life is very monotonous," he said.
"I hunt chickens; men hunt me.
All chickens are just alike,
and all the men are just alike.
And in consequence, I am a little bored.
But if you tame me,
it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life.
I shall know the sound of a step that will be
different from all the others.
Other steps send me hurrying back
underneath the ground.
Yours will call me, like music out of my burrow.
And then look:
you see the grain-fields down yonder?
I do not eat bread.
Wheat is of no use to me.
The wheat fields have nothing to say to me.
And that is sad.
But you have hair that is the color of gold.
Think how wonderful that will be
when you have tamed me!
The grain, which is also golden,
will bring me back the thought of you.
And I shall love to listen
to the wind in the wheat. . ."

The fox gazed at the little prince,
for a long time.
"Please---tame me!" he said.

"I want to, very much," the little prince replied.
"But I have not much time.
I have friends to discover,
and a great many things to understand."

"One only understands the things that one tames,"
said the fox.
" Men have no more time to understand anything.
They buy things all ready made at the shops.
But there is no shop anywhere
where one can buy friendship,
and so men have no friends any more.
If you want a friend, tame me. . ."

"What must I do, to tame you?
asked the little prince.

"You must be very patient," replied the fox.
First you will sit down
at a little distance from me
-like that-in the grass.
I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye,
and you will say nothing.
Words are the source of misunderstandings.
But you will sit a little closer to me,
every day..."

The next day the little prince came back.

"It would have been better to come back
at the same hour," said the fox.
"If for example, you came at four o'clock
in the afternoon,
then at three o'clock I shall begin to be happy.
I shall feel happier and happier
as the hour advances.
At four o'clock,
I shall be worrying and jumping about.
I shall show you how happy I am!
But if you come at just any time,
I shall never know at what hour
my heart is ready to greet you. . .
One must observe the proper rites. . ."

"What is a rite?" asked the little prince.

"Those also are actions too often neglected,"
said the fox.
"they are what make one day
different from other days,
one hour different from other hours.
There is a rite, for example, among my hunters.
Every Thursday they danse with the village girls.
So Thursday is a wonderful day for me!
I can take a walk as far as the vineyards.
But if the hunters danced at just any time,
every day would be like
every other day,
and I should never have any vacation at all."


So the little prince tamed the fox.
And when the hour of his departure drew near---

"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."

"It is your own fault," said the little prince.
"I never wished you any sort of harm;
but you wanted me to tame you. . ."

"Yes that is so", said the fox.

"But now you are going to cry!"
said the little prince.

"Yes that is so" said the fox.

"Then it has done you no good at all!"

"It has done me good," said the fox,
"because of the color of the wheat fields."
And then he added:
"go and look again at the roses.
You will understand now
that yours is unique in all the world.
Then come back to say goodbye to me,
and I will make you a present of a secret."

The little prince went away,
to look again at the roses.
"You are not at all like my rose," he said.
"As yet you are nothing.
No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one.
You are like my fox when I first knew him.
He was only a fox
like a hundred thousand other foxes.
But I have made a friend,
and now he is unique in all the world."
And the roses were very much embarrassed.
"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on.
"One could not die for you.
To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think
that my rose looked just like you
--the rose that belongs to me.
But in herself alone she is more important
than all the hundreds of you
other roses: because it is she that I have watered;
because it is she
that I have put under the glass globe;
because it is for her
that I have killed the caterpillars
(except the two or three we saved
to become butterflies);
because it is she that I have listened to,
when she grumbled,
or boasted,
or even sometimes when she said nothing.
Because she is MY rose."


And he went back to meet the fox.
"Goodbye" he said.

"Goodbye," said the fox.
"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret:
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly;
what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye,"
the little prince repeated,
so that he would be sure to remember.

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose
that makes your rose so important.

"It is the time I have wasted for my rose--
"said the little prince
so he would be sure to remember.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox.
"But you must not forget it.
You become responsible, forever,
for what you have tamed.
You are responsible for your rose. . ."

"I am responsible for my rose,"
the little prince repeated,
so that he would be sure to remember.


From the Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery
 
Geez, I leave for a few days and get some behind on the posts. Wait, no pun ("behind") on my avi intended.

Thank you all for the thoughtful posts. Earlier I had implied that BSDM people should be the non-friendly ones. (After all, sadism isn't exactly a feel good, hand-holding thing.) You all have been, well, helpful and friendly. Now I'm wondering if I could ever go back to those vanilla boards? Those people are scary! :)

I so love "The Little Prince"; so many fresh perspectives and presented in such a simple manner. The chapter on taming is especially sweet. I can so relate to the importance of routines ... arriving at 4 each afternoon so that the fox will start to anticipate the visit and get excited. Our relationships are not built in one big event, but rather they grow slowly. I love the fact that the fox would then start to look at the wheat in a different way, because it was the color of the Prince's hair. (sigh)

Let me share part of an email that I wrote a new BSDM friend:

The best sex I've had has been with people that had the qualities that I would look for in a LTR ... people that are essentially kind, but have a creative, emotional side ... men that can reach me on intellectual and personal level as well as physical ones. And never overlook the importance of being able to laugh with someone.

So, that sounds pretty vanilla, right?

Maybe it is, but I want more. In those situations where the sex has been mind-blowing, I have found myself feeling like a puppy on his back, feeling that mixed sense of utter vulnerability and complete loyalty. I live to show my appreciation. One might think that this is merely a case of "love" (whatever that is), but I disagree. It's service. It's total lack of control, entrusting my fate to someone else. This may seem like it feeds the desire to feel secure, but to me such ties are a hell of a lot scarier than a roller coaster free fall. It's so risky, and that risk appeals to me.

Even under ideal situations, I think I would be a hard one to train. I won't accept punishment without reason, just for the sake of punishment. I wouldn't expect my master to be perfect, but he would have to be someone I would look up to.

I want my master to test me, to take me to the limits. And through those extreme tests will I demonstrate my devotion.

(end quote)

I dunno ... I still thinking, talking it out.

I've actually been encouraged by your comments. I'm feeling like perhaps I can belly up to the buffett, pick and choose what I want.

So with that in mind, could someone point out the chocolate?!
 
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