Older Women

[SimonDoom]

Well, at this point, I'd say my primary motivation has now become because people are telling me that I can't. Proving people wrong is quite the appeal. (Though most of my actual questions have been completely ignored.)

Good for you. Go for it.

 

[NotWise]

Well, at this point, I'd say my primary motivation has now become because people are telling me that I can't. Proving people wrong is quite the appeal. (Though most of my actual questions have been completely ignored.)

Your actual questions were with regards to mom/son i/t stories, but you seem to have confused that with attraction to older women. As near as I can tell, people have responded one way or another to your original questions. Here's what you asked:

"What interpersonal aspects of that kind of relationship would you focus on? Which parts do you like? The in/experience one partner could have? Would there be a confidence thing to it? Or is it more the tenderness, motherly tendencies?"

By "kind of relationship" are you talking about younger man/older woman, or mom/son? I think people have addressed both.

I've written younger man/older woman stories where the older woman was physically attractive and assertive, and she effectively seduced the younger man. In a nutshell, their motivations are largely physical.

I've written five mom/son stories. Love and attachment are the basis for the relationship in every case.

Which parts do I like? In younger man/old woman stories I like the sex. In mom/son stories, I like weaving a plot around their sexual relationship.

For younger man/older woman stories both the gap in experience and the confidence of the older woman are important aspects. This isn't really a part of the mom/son stories. In three of my five mom/son stories, their sexual relationship starts before the story and during the story they regard themselves as largely equal.

I can't say my mom/son stories really fit the norm, and there isn't any reason why your stories need to.

I generally don't include a lot of "tenderness and motherly tendencies" in my stories. Motherly tendencies would steer a woman away from sex with her son. In the case of my younger man/older woman stories, the woman's intent is to use the younger man to a mutually beneficial end, and that's all.

 

[8letters]

Well, at this point, I'd say my primary motivation has now become because people are telling me that I can't. Proving people wrong is quite the appeal. (Though most of my actual questions have been completely ignored.)

Write what you enjoy. If proving people wrong makes writing enjoyable for you, go for it.

Have you given any thought as to what would appeal to you in such a story? Do you want to write it from the mom's perspective or the son's perspective? Is the dad around? Is the mom going to be the initiator or the son? There are people who like mom-son stories that meet every combination of answers from those questions. People are going to like a well-written mom-son story, however you choose to write it.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

love is the key. like i said before all the clever twats started shouting.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I get comments from readers who obviously think I share their incestuous fantasies. But I don't have incestuous fantasies (despite what ElectricBlue thinks). I just write about them, and readers tell me all the time how aroused they are by them.

Lol.

Did you seriously think I thought you did? Christonabike, Simon, I've known all along that with you it was a deliberate choice to get maximum eyes on page - but then you got upset when I said you were a number's whore.

Carry on .

 

[LAHomedog]

Isn't the bottom line question here: What is attraction? How does attraction occur and why?

I'm not sure the age or gender of the two parties dictate the rules of attraction completely. If I was still a younger man and I was attracted to an older woman there would be 100s of reasons for that.

Her look, her sass, her style, her IQ, her money and power, lifestyle. What about her shape, her hair color or style, her smell?

Common interests, emotional need, tragedy, loss, desperation. Maybe she is a lifeline, a way out, a safe harbor.

Is it dangerous or thrilling? Breaking the rules? Revenge, boredom, comfortable or familiar.

When I was younger I lived with an older woman. I was attracted and fell in love, actually, for a long list of reasons. I found her physically attractive, just my type, she was smart, she was really, really funny and entertaining, she was surprising, she was rich and powerful with a lifestyle that I desired, she found me incredibly attractive and couldn't keep her hands off me, we were compatible and made great friends and companions, our strengths and weakness complimented each other, she had a voracious sexual appetite and nothing was off limits, we had the same interests and passions, our friends like each other, we were great travel companions, the list goes on and on.

Anyone can be attracted to anyone at anytime.

 

[KeithD]

I married an older woman--53 years ago.

 

[PennameWombat]

When I was in my early twenties, I was in a serious relationship with a woman nearing forty.

There wasn’t anything specifically between us that was an issue, in fact, our sex life was the best I’d ever had to that time. But she did have a ten going on eleven year old son. I wasn’t then, and never have been since, interested in fatherhood. Which made it all a fit that wasn’t going to work.

We did manage the ‘friends with benefits’ thing for a while, until I moved two thousand miles for a new job when I finished my master’s degree.

 

[MrPixel]

I'm having trouble wrapping my head around this thread because "older" carries a bunch of connotations. Chronological age alone? Relative stations in life, like mom/son or cougar/cub? Positions of power, like wealthy/struggling or boss/employee? Declining physical appearance?

It's that last one that is throwing me. I know and have dated women in their 30s who have "aged" prematurely, and have, sadly, taken on a decidedly "matronly" appearance. Was it genes? Lifestyle? Having children? Then there's the model gracing my new avatar. That "young lady" was 74 when that picture was taken.

 

[shakna]

I'm having trouble wrapping my head around this thread because "older" carries a bunch of connotations. Chronological age alone? Relative stations in life, like mom/son or cougar/cub? Positions of power, like wealthy/struggling or boss/employee? Declining physical appearance?

I did explicitly state in the first post that this was to assist in writing a mother/son piece, so the relative stations in life is probably going to be the biggest part of that.

 

[jsmiam]

Somebody's gots to says it...

As a noted scorekeeper, I believe it's time someone said this. (I was hoping a member of the group you insulted would take this on, but they seem to be taking the high road and just ignoring you. Good for them. They're smarter than I am.)

See bolded snippets.

Just fishing for some answers around the kink. (Obviously I'll be complemented this with traditional research, but I thought I'd ask).

I tend to write in either the incest or nonhuman/fantasy categories, and I like to push myself with a challenge every now and then. I did just complete one piece which has controlling aspects that I don't personally find attractive at all.

Which brings me to the challenge: Mom & Son stuff. It's popular with my readers, so I'd like to give it a shot.

I do understand an attraction to older guys, and that's in my personal repertoire. However, I don't even get a wiggle down there when thinking about older women. So writing someone who might be into their mother just... I'm drawing a blank.

What interpersonal aspects of that kind of relationship would you focus on? Which parts do you like? The in/experience one partner could have? Would there be a confidence thing to it? Or is it more the tenderness, motherly tendencies?

Here's you, calling it a kink, saying you understand how an older man can be attractive, but not an older woman, and that you're not wiggled at all. Not exactly flattering or complimentary, is it? Quite the opposite.

Note (I'll loop back to this later), right in the middle of your self-proclaimed clear and explicitly phrased question, in a post titled "Older women", you right in the middle of it shift focus to age, not mother/son. They way it's written, you blended the two, and it's not nearly as explicit as you proclaim.

Official scores:
-The TITLE of the ENTIRE THREAD. This should get triple word scores with the "W" landing on a triple letter score. But nonetheless, I'll just count it once.
-Mom/mother/son/motherly references - 3
-Older - 2 (one male, all good in your eyes, one female, unacceptable to you)
-Experience/Inexperience - 1
-Confidence - 1
-Tenderness - 1 (I'll call this half, since it's right next to 'motherly'

That's 3 explicit mother/son references vs. 5 (5.5 actually) age/experience/confidence references.

I wouldn't say we're using the word the same way, if this is the way you see it. For example, I have a kink for skirts. It isn't outside the norms, and is common and banal, but it's something that's part of what I find attractive. A sexual personal quirk. As normal as someone might talk too much, or might like action movies. It's just something small that is part of how a person is.

So, calling it a kink for older women, isn't any kind of judgement or even a pronouncement that it is unusual. It's just a "thing".

(Fetish is what I'd call the stronger word, but anything can become fetishised, but that tends to be seen as a "bad thing" to do.)



Those are kinda the questions I'm hoping to get answers for. If someone is into this, what are their expectations for that? It's all about the relationship for me and my writing. A lot of my stories could be stripped of the incest or fantasy elements, and still work as a romance, because it's about the relationship. I don't currently feel like I can write it right, because it's not an attraction I've experienced.

Here's you, blaming the reader for misreading what you wrote. Not your fault. The reader's fault. You may have a future in writing celebrity non-apologies. They're always sorry, not for what they did or said, but "if their actions offended anyone," thereby putting the onus on the people who felt offended, not for whatever it was they themselves did or said.

And just when you had almost painted your way out of the corner, you imply it could even be a fetish. If you had only began and ended with "it's not an attraction I've experienced" and stopped. Then you wouldn't have been insulting people, and you could have used that to support the question you meant to ask.

I already have stories that don't arouse me at all, that are quite popular with my readers, so I disagree with the premise being pointless. I already know that I can write things outside of my personal bubble - they're just more of a challenge. And that challenge, is the point.

Nothing out of the ordinary here. Low self esteem definitely isn't one of your hurdles in life, is it?

I ain't looking for story ideas here, I'm looking to understand the appeal from people who may have it. That's pretty standard research for any topic. Go ask the people who already understand. By the very nature of Lit, there's likely to be people with that particular appeal already here.

And I've already mentioned this isn't the only thing I'm doing in trying to understand, either.

Instead of telling me that I'm wasting my time, you could either indulge the genuine curiosity, or let me do my own thing. Both seem less effort on your part.

Nothing too over the top here. But if you were concerned about people dwelling on age vs. mother/son, you could have (without whining) started asking nicely here. You didn't.

Well, at this point, I'd say my primary motivation has now become because people are telling me that I can't. Proving people wrong is quite the appeal. (Though most of my actual questions have been completely ignored.)

Proclaiming most of your actual questions have been completely ignored, based on the words you wrote and the title you chose, is just not accurate.

Hint: You may know what you meant to say. Compare that with what you actually said. And I'm not even lambasting based on making a mistake. It's the digging in and denial that's amusing. The way a normal person would handle making a little slip up like this (which we all do from time to time,) is to say, "oops, I could have phrased that differently. My apologies." But not you.

I did explicitly state in the first post that this was to assist in writing a mother/son piece, so the relative stations in life is probably going to be the biggest part of that.

In the interest of accuracy, you did (in post 1/paragraph 3 only,) "explicitly" state that you had questions about a mother/son piece. The thread's very title, all the other paragraphs, that you wrote, were most explicitly not explicit.

 

[JuanaSalsa]

Just fishing for some answers around the kink. (Obviously I'll be complemented this with traditional research, but I thought I'd ask).

I tend to write in either the incest or nonhuman/fantasy categories, and I like to push myself with a challenge every now and then. I did just complete one piece which has controlling aspects that I don't personally find attractive at all.

Which brings me to the challenge: Mom & Son stuff. It's popular with my readers, so I'd like to give it a shot.

I do understand an attraction to older guys, and that's in my personal repertoire. However, I don't even get a wiggle down there when thinking about older women. So writing someone who might be into their mother just... I'm drawing a blank.

What interpersonal aspects of that kind of relationship would you focus on? Which parts do you like? The in/experience one partner could have? Would there be a confidence thing to it? Or is it more the tenderness, motherly tendencies?

IMHO, the best erotic kink stories don't try to explain WHY the attraction exists, they skip right to describing the WHAT, HOW, WHEN, and WHERE of it.

I suggest reading some of the stories of johnthome7690 who, I think, does an excellent job of describing arousal for a BBW mother. Does he explain why? Barely, there is some incident of a first exposure in some of the stories, but nothing really explains why the attraction exists. None of us really know why our attractions exist...

https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=2491939&page=submissions

Why do thick calloused hands that feel rough as they travel over my skin set my clit on fire? No fucking clue. I don't particularly think it matters to know why, or what particular aspect you focus on, unless you are trying to connect with a particular market.

Lots of mom/son incest stories on Lit focus on older women who are still classically beautiful, with svelte bodies that show only the smallest signs of age and the wear of life, whose hair, if gray, is a perfect shade of gray and never thinning. Women who age as if they have lived in a protective dome and, while never exercising or dieting, never the less are perfectly proportioned. In other words, these stories feature perfect women, just like many other erotic tales. There seems no lack of desire for that type of story.

What would I focus on in a mother/son story, if I wrote one? I would focus on the dynamics that make such a relationship realistic, and my people's bodies would not be perfect unless they took a lot of care to maintain that perfection, and then there would be reasons why they did and that would be part of the story too.

To me, the attraction to writing about incest is the ability to overlook the flaws that would make us shun a stranger and to accept those as part of a whole person. With a deep and loving family connection, there is a chance to have attraction that transcends the merely physical or the shallow top-layer qualities of a personality, to look deeper. This deep attraction is counterbalanced by the aversion of taboo. Therefore, the attraction must be greater than normal to overcome that aversion.

Of course, that's just me. Many people are not reading incest for anything like those reasons. So, who is your audience? Are you looking for numbers? Then write a mom-son lap story with minimal character development or physical description and let the reader place their own mom/son into it, it seems lots of readers want that.

But, I would ask, why do you write? Who is your audience? What do you want them to get from your story?

If you want a challenge, as you've said, then I would challenge you to imagine the ugliest woman you can and then imagine what her personality would have to be for you to overcome that physical repulsion to feel attraction, and how long would that take, and how would it happen as a gradual process, and then use that exercise to inform how you would write about a son discovering an attraction to his mother.

Write about the initial repulsion, if that's what you feel. Write about how that would change. Write about how you might feel, after the attraction changes? Guilt, awe, discomfort, confusion?

I prefer writing which comes from a personal viewpoint, and that could be yours. But, you know, that's only my opinion.

 

[shakna]

IMHO, the best erotic kink stories don't try to explain WHY the attraction exists, they skip right to describing the WHAT, HOW, WHEN, and WHERE of it.

Oh, I wouldn't be writing the "why" out explicitly. It's my own understanding of the why that would enable the story to work. There's always a heap of research into a topic that goes into writing and never ends up on paper. Understanding is the key to being convincing, IMHO.

Of course, that's just me. Many people are not reading incest for anything like those reasons. So, who is your audience? Are you looking for numbers? Then write a mom-son lap story with minimal character development or physical description and let the reader place their own mom/son into it, it seems lots of readers want that.

I'm not looking to write a stroke piece. The things that go into forming the dynamics of the relationship are what are interesting to me for research. Which parts of that are most interesting to the audience, when exploring a longer romantic tale, and which parts should simply be parts of the background noise. "Maximal" character development, if you will.

 

[JuanaSalsa]

Oh, I wouldn't be writing the "why" out explicitly. It's my own understanding of the why that would enable the story to work. There's always a heap of research into a topic that goes into writing and never ends up on paper. Understanding is the key to being convincing, IMHO.

Hmmm... Do you know why you find attractive what you find attractive, then?

I mean, there's been quite a bit of research on what people find attractive. In women it's: symmetry (good genes), health, and child-bearing proportions. Typically, the driving physical arousal is a search for a mother for one's children. Psychologically, men often seek out women similar to their own mother. In mom/son fetish, you simply skip the surrogate.

But, that's just very generic and individual circuitry gets rewired in tons of perplexing ways. Most of us have no idea what's driving our own attractions, so I'm not sure it's important to understand when writing about an attraction.

Your stories seem very well liked though, so if it's part of your process, it seems to be working!

 

[TadOverdon]

IMHO, the best erotic kink stories don't try to explain WHY the attraction exists, they skip right to describing the WHAT, HOW, WHEN, and WHERE of it.

My characters (that is, my unconscious) don't always do me the courtesy of explaining why they want what they want. Oftentimes when they do, it's too late in the process to be much help.