Older Women

[shakna]

Just fishing for some answers around the kink. (Obviously I'll be complemented this with traditional research, but I thought I'd ask).

I tend to write in either the incest or nonhuman/fantasy categories, and I like to push myself with a challenge every now and then. I did just complete one piece which has controlling aspects that I don't personally find attractive at all.

Which brings me to the challenge: Mom & Son stuff. It's popular with my readers, so I'd like to give it a shot.

I do understand an attraction to older guys, and that's in my personal repertoire. However, I don't even get a wiggle down there when thinking about older women. So writing someone who might be into their mother just... I'm drawing a blank.

What interpersonal aspects of that kind of relationship would you focus on? Which parts do you like? The in/experience one partner could have? Would there be a confidence thing to it? Or is it more the tenderness, motherly tendencies?

 

[SimonDoom]

There doesn't necessarily have to be a reason why a younger man would be attracted to an older woman. Have you seen a photo of 56-year-old Elizabeth Hurley lately? She still looks amazing in a bikini. It's not at all hard to imagine a 20 year old man being attracted to her.

But since it probably makes the story more interesting if some aspect of the age difference provides a motive for the attraction, here are just a few of the many possibilities:

1. Money. An older woman could be financially successful and attractive to a young man who is seeking financial security.

2. Sexual experience and skill.

3. Confidence.

4. Maternal qualities. Maybe he doesn't have a good mother and he is attracted at first to the woman's motherly qualities.

5. It's just a fetish. It doesn't have to be explained. He's always been attracted to older women . . . just because.

6. He has submissive qualities and wants a dominant woman.

7. She has some skill or talent one might associate with being older. Maybe he loves food and she's a great cook.

You say you can imagine why a woman would be attracted to an older man. Just flip the genders. A younger man could be attracted to an older woman for exactly the same reasons.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Just fishing for some answers around the kink. (Obviously I'll be complemented this with traditional research, but I thought I'd ask).

I tend to write in either the incest or nonhuman/fantasy categories, and I like to push myself with a challenge every now and then. I did just complete one piece which has controlling aspects that I don't personally find attractive at all.

Which brings me to the challenge: Mom & Son stuff. It's popular with my readers, so I'd like to give it a shot.

I do understand an attraction to older guys, and that's in my personal repertoire. However, I don't even get a wiggle down there when thinking about older women. So writing someone who might be into their mother just... I'm drawing a blank.

What interpersonal aspects of that kind of relationship would you focus on? Which parts do you like? The in/experience one partner could have? Would there be a confidence thing to it? Or is it more the tenderness, motherly tendencies?

love.

and my [mature] female characters seem to have blonde hair and big boobs.

but it's mainly love.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

What Simon said, with the addition that many 'mothers' in erotica had children young so their adult child is seeing them in their late 30s - not old at all!

I'm sure a search online for 'hot women in their 40s' could provide some inspiration. Add a bit of lubricant and squishier breasts and traces of postnatal tummy and it's no different to a younger woman.

 

[Lifestyle66]

Just fishing for some answers around the kink. (Obviously I'll be complemented this with traditional research, but I thought I'd ask).

I tend to write in either the incest or nonhuman/fantasy categories, and I like to push myself with a challenge every now and then. I did just complete one piece which has controlling aspects that I don't personally find attractive at all.

Which brings me to the challenge: Mom & Son stuff. It's popular with my readers, so I'd like to give it a shot.

I do understand an attraction to older guys, and that's in my personal repertoire. However, I don't even get a wiggle down there when thinking about older women. So writing someone who might be into their mother just... I'm drawing a blank.

What interpersonal aspects of that kind of relationship would you focus on? Which parts do you like? The in/experience one partner could have? Would there be a confidence thing to it? Or is it more the tenderness, motherly tendencies?

I don't know about the son starting with the attraction to his own mother hurdle. That would require starting with an unhealthy mother-son relationship.

But younger guys going for mature women often happens due to the mature women being more aggressive/assertive/confident than their younger female competitors. The horny younger guys are easy prey for attractive Cougars with a high libido. And that higher libido can come from hormone therapy sometimes needed as women get older.

I messaged you with an idea.

 

[TadOverdon]

I see attraction to older women described as a fetish or kink online, and it troubles me somewhat. When attraction outside a very limited range of similarity to ourselves is considered so unusual, IMHO we may be applying the idea of kinkiness at too granular a level.

As far as the attraction is concerned, look around or imagine a character with some specifics to her other than age and then try to project what would make that woman attractive to a man. It doesn't have to be focused on how old the man is relative to the woman - what's attractive about her? Is it physical? Is it her relationship to him? You can't make any reference on lit to any sexual feelings before the age of 18, but if there's a difference of decades in their ages, how the two relate to each other has probably evolved from one kind of thing to another.

As far as addressing the cross-generational nature of it, that part of the story might have more to do with how he feels about himself or about other people's expectations and opinions regarding his attraction. I don't think the nature of the attraction itself necessarily hangs out there in the air with its own innate aspects. But what do his mates think about it? Does he have concerns about what his mother (let's assume that in this story she isn't The One, but a bystander) feels about? Does he feel weirded out if his beloved does remind him of his mother? Etc.

 

[shakna]

I see attraction to older women described as a fetish or kink online, and it troubles me somewhat. When attraction outside a very limited range of similarity to ourselves is considered so unusual, IMHO we may be applying the idea of kinkiness at too granular a level.

I wouldn't say we're using the word the same way, if this is the way you see it. For example, I have a kink for skirts. It isn't outside the norms, and is common and banal, but it's something that's part of what I find attractive. A sexual personal quirk. As normal as someone might talk too much, or might like action movies. It's just something small that is part of how a person is.

So, calling it a kink for older women, isn't any kind of judgement or even a pronouncement that it is unusual. It's just a "thing".

(Fetish is what I'd call the stronger word, but anything can become fetishised, but that tends to be seen as a "bad thing" to do.)

It doesn't have to be focused on how old the man is relative to the woman - what's attractive about her? Is it physical? Is it her relationship to him? You can't make any reference on lit to any sexual feelings before the age of 18, but if there's a difference of decades in their ages, how the two relate to each other has probably evolved from one kind of thing to another.

Those are kinda the questions I'm hoping to get answers for. If someone is into this, what are their expectations for that? It's all about the relationship for me and my writing. A lot of my stories could be stripped of the incest or fantasy elements, and still work as a romance, because it's about the relationship. I don't currently feel like I can write it right, because it's not an attraction I've experienced.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Emotional stability. Which is not to say that younger women (or men,of course, but we're talking women) are crazy or unstable, but older people have had years of learning how to deal with life's bumps and challenges. A mature woman might also be more patient and less demanding in terms of needing compliments, etc. 'Serenity' might be a better way to put it; and at end of day, serenity beats just about everything else in the long run.

Your fictional young man might be tired of dealing with previous girl-friends, all of whom turned out to have been entitled, self-centered drama queens and finds a mature woman easier on his nerves.

 

[lovecraft68]

Not to be rude, but if you have no interest, no knowledge, no idea...what's the point?
Readers can pick up on the author being engaged or just faking it, so if you're this clueless on the topic, I can't see you being able to sell the story to the reader.

 

[NotWise]

I'm with LC on this. If you need to come here to ask, then you should probably write something else.

An attraction between an older woman and a younger guy is really very distinct from Mom/son. In the first case, they're probably going to build their relationship from scratch, and the story would belong in Mature. In the latter case they have a pre-existing relationship that becomes sexual, and the story would go to I/T.

In the Mature story you'd write about how their relationship came about. In the I/T story you'd write about how the relationship became sexual.

 

[windar]

I see attraction to older women described as a fetish or kink online, and it troubles me somewhat. When attraction outside a very limited range of similarity to ourselves is considered so unusual, IMHO we may be applying the idea of kinkiness at too granular a level.

I wouldn't say being attracted to an older woman is a kink. Unless she's your Mom. That I would have to call a kink or even beyond one.

I guess we take an older man with a younger woman as more "natural" because there's a biological basis to it, since women of the man's own age are no longer able to bear children and there is presumably a biological urge to maximize one's offspring. That doesn't apply in the young man/older woman scenario. But I wouldn't call either a kink.

 

[SimonDoom]

Not to be rude, but if you have no interest, no knowledge, no idea...what's the point?
Readers can pick up on the author being engaged or just faking it, so if you're this clueless on the topic, I can't see you being able to sell the story to the reader.

I don't agree. It's no different from being an author who wants to write about a serial killer but has no interest in being one. Agatha Christie was never interested in being a detective. And I totally disagree that a "reader can pick up on the author being engaged or just faking it." A good writer CAN fake it.

I have no interest in ever being involved in incest, and on a personal, real-life level find its appeal curious, but I write the stories and readers seem to like them.

I like the challenge of writing about erotic topics in which I have no experience, or no real-life interest. I don't think any writer should ever be discouraged from exploring erotic areas that are strange and unfamiliar.

 

[lovecraft68]

I don't agree. It's no different from being an author who wants to write about a serial killer but has no interest in being one. Agatha Christie was never interested in being a detective. And I totally disagree that a "reader can pick up on the author being engaged or just faking it." A good writer CAN fake it.

I have no interest in ever being involved in incest, and on a personal, real-life level find its appeal curious, but I write the stories and readers seem to like them.

I like the challenge of writing about erotic topics in which I have no experience, or no real-life interest. I don't think any writer should ever be discouraged from exploring erotic areas that are strange and unfamiliar.

Erotica is different, the point is to arouse, and you can't arouse someone if you have zero interest in the subject matter. If the OP said that the topic did it for them, but they needed something to kick start them that's different, but the "zero wiggles" comment is why its not worth the time.

 

[windar]

Erotica is different, the point is to arouse, and you can't arouse someone if you have zero interest in the subject matter. If the OP said that the topic did it for them, but they needed something to kick start them that's different, but the "zero wiggles" comment is why its not worth the time.

I disagree. I did a commissioned story a couple of years ago for someone on a very odd kink (yes, this is really a kink) that I hadn't even known existed. I researched it and wrote a story that the requestor loved and was extremely well received when I posted it for a wider audience.

 

[TadOverdon]

I wouldn't say being attracted to an older woman is a kink. Unless she's your Mom. That I would have to call a kink or even beyond one.

I guess we take an older man with a younger woman as more "natural" because there's a biological basis to it, since women of the man's own age are no longer able to bear children and there is presumably a biological urge to maximize one's offspring. That doesn't apply in the young man/older woman scenario. But I wouldn't call either a kink.

I think "preference" or "taste" or some similar word is sufficient to describe attraction to people of a given age group, or eye color, or body type or any of the other specifics of what turns a certain individual on.

I find the much-older-guy-with-young-woman thing really annoying IRL, but that's just a quirk of my personality. I remember seeing someone of presumable note being quoted a few years back as saying that our modern western society is the first in history where old guys are made to feel odd or wrong for being attracted to nubile young thangs. LOL

 

[shakna]

Not to be rude, but if you have no interest, no knowledge, no idea...what's the point?
Readers can pick up on the author being engaged or just faking it, so if you're this clueless on the topic, I can't see you being able to sell the story to the reader.

I already have stories that don't arouse me at all, that are quite popular with my readers, so I disagree with the premise being pointless. I already know that I can write things outside of my personal bubble - they're just more of a challenge. And that challenge, is the point.

 

[lovecraft68]

I think "preference" or "taste" or some similar word is sufficient to describe attraction to people of a given age group, or eye color, or body type or any of the other specifics of what turns a certain individual on.

I find the much-older-guy-with-young-woman thing really annoying IRL, but that's just a quirk of my personality. I remember seeing someone of presumable note being quoted a few years back as saying that our modern western society is the first in history where old guys are made to feel odd or wrong for being attracted to nubile young thangs. LOL

Because in our society women aren't married off like slaves like they are in other cultures. Last I looked, they're even allowed to have an education and vote.

Where I tend to not be as big of a fan of older men/younger woman vs Cougar and cub is men's pathetic neediness.

A cougar goes looking for a young guy, finds him, fucks him, forgets him. They only want the sex, the young guy is fine with that, they get what they need and move on.

Guys have to show off, they need the sugar baby on their arm, look what I have, look what a man I am to show off to the like minded cretins he calls friends. Older women tend to keep their escapades on the down low, partly because unlike men they don't feel the need to brag, but also because of course they're sluts, meanwhile the sugar daddy is a hero.

Look at the difference in the reaction of a teacher with a student. Male teacher, well the student must have been begging for it and seduced him. Woman teacher, reeeee she's a rapist, put her in jail!

More cold male insecurity and being flat out pathetic which is what men do best, as evidence here quite often.

 

[lovecraft68]

I already have stories that don't arouse me at all, that are quite popular with my readers, so I disagree with the premise being pointless. I already know that I can write things outside of my personal bubble - they're just more of a challenge. And that challenge, is the point.

Then really challenge yourself and don't ask a forum for a list of ideas or thoughts you can choose from. If you have no idea what the appeal is in a certain dynamic then back to my original point.

 

[shakna]

Then really challenge yourself and don't ask a forum for a list of ideas or thoughts you can choose from. If you have no idea what the appeal is in a certain dynamic then back to my original point.

I ain't looking for story ideas here, I'm looking to understand the appeal from people who may have it. That's pretty standard research for any topic. Go ask the people who already understand. By the very nature of Lit, there's likely to be people with that particular appeal already here.

And I've already mentioned this isn't the only thing I'm doing in trying to understand, either.

Instead of telling me that I'm wasting my time, you could either indulge the genuine curiosity, or let me do my own thing. Both seem less effort on your part.

 

[windar]

Look at the difference in the reaction of a teacher with a student. Male teacher, well the student must have been begging for it and seduced him. Woman teacher, reeeee she's a rapist, put her in jail!

Actually, the exact opposite is true. People judge a male teacher with a female student MORE harshly

https://www.addisonlibrary.org/sites/default/files/The Reverse Double Standard in Perceptions.pdf

And I've seen this in my local community too. But don't let facts and data alter your opinion, which is really all you have, I'm afraid...The world is drowning in opinions...

 

[SimonDoom]

Erotica is different, the point is to arouse, and you can't arouse someone if you have zero interest in the subject matter.

But the OP DOES have interest in the subject matter: that's why the OP started this thread. The OP is interested in the subject, but doesn't wholly understand the appeal of it. And that describes a ton of highly successful stories published at Literotica, especially published in the Incest category. The facts disprove the theory that if you don't "get" the appeal of the thing you are writing about you can't write a good story about it.

I get comments from readers who obviously think I share their incestuous fantasies. But I don't have incestuous fantasies (despite what ElectricBlue thinks). I just write about them, and readers tell me all the time how aroused they are by them.

There is no reason at all, based on the actual experience of readers and writers, to believe that if you do not share a personal interest or understanding of the thing you are writing about you cannot write convincingly about it. That theory is disproved all the time.

 

[windar]

But the OP DOES have interest in the subject matter: that's why the OP started this thread. The OP is interested in the subject, but doesn't wholly understand the appeal of it. And that describes a ton of highly successful stories published at Literotica, especially published in the Incest category. The facts disprove the theory that if you don't "get" the appeal of the thing you are writing about you can't write a good story about it.

I get comments from readers who obviously think I share their incestuous fantasies. But I don't have incestuous fantasies (despite what ElectricBlue thinks). I just write about them, and readers tell me all the time how aroused they are by them.

There is no reason at all, based on the actual experience of readers and writers, to believe that if you do not share a personal interest or understanding of the thing you are writing about you cannot write convincingly about it. That theory is disproved all the time.

Simon: If LC SAYS something is impossible, then it is. It doesn't matter if you've done it, I've done it, hundreds of people have done it, the mere assertion of its impossibility is sufficient and no facts can disprove its impossibility.

 

[8letters]

I don't agree. It's no different from being an author who wants to write about a serial killer but has no interest in being one. Agatha Christie was never interested in being a detective. And I totally disagree that a "reader can pick up on the author being engaged or just faking it." A good writer CAN fake it.

I have no interest in ever being involved in incest, and on a personal, real-life level find its appeal curious, but I write the stories and readers seem to like them.

I like the challenge of writing about erotic topics in which I have no experience, or no real-life interest. I don't think any writer should ever be discouraged from exploring erotic areas that are strange and unfamiliar.

It's one thing to fake writing about something you haven't experienced personally and don't have a desire to experience personally. It's quite another to write about something you are totally indifferent to. I had been asked to write a mom-son story for years, but never did because I never had a story idea that appealed to me enough to start typing words. My advice to the OP is to not think about writing a mom-son story until you find a spark of a mom-son story idea that you find appealing.

 

[shakna]

My advice to the OP is to not think about writing a mom-son story until you find a spark of a mom-son story idea that you find appealing.

Well, at this point, I'd say my primary motivation has now become because people are telling me that I can't. Proving people wrong is quite the appeal. (Though most of my actual questions have been completely ignored.)

 

[SimonDoom]

It's one thing to fake writing about something you haven't experienced personally and don't have a desire to experience personally. It's quite another to write about something you are totally indifferent to. I had been asked to write a mom-son story for years, but never did because I never had a story idea that appealed to me enough to start typing words. My advice to the OP is to not think about writing a mom-son story until you find a spark of a mom-son story idea that you find appealing.

And I'll just repeat what I said to Lovecraft, and I will endorse Windar's tongue-planted-very-firmly-in-cheek reply. Your experience is not universal. I have absolutely no problem writing about kinks, fetishes, and sexual interests in which I have no personal interest -- even to which I might be averse. Your view may seem right to you, but experience disproves what you are saying -- my experience, and the experience of many other authors. I've had plenty of readers say they liked stories on topics in which I had no personal interest.

For instance, I've never really understood the foot fetish. But I would have no qualms about writing a story about it and I feel extremely confident that I could write a story that would appeal to foot fetishists. With enough imagination and a modest amount of skill, one can write about anything. I believe that.

I find it frustrating to see Literotica authors discouraging other aspiring authors from discussing or writing about topics that puzzle them. I think the right attitude should be, "Use your imagination, give it a try, and see what happens."