older or younger child?

[graceanne]

Ok, I did a search and didn't find anything, cause I hate the search function.

But in another thread ADR said that normally (as not always) subs are younger children and dom/mes are older children. She's normally right, but I'm still curious. What are you?

 

[alice_underneath]

Ok, I did a search and didn't find anything, cause I hate the search function.

But in another thread ADR said that normally (as not always) subs are younger children and dom/mes are older children. She's normally right, but I'm still curious. What are you?

Hi, Graceanne.

I voted "Other" because I am only a sub in fantasies, not r/l.

I am the 2nd of 4 girls.

Alice

 

[BeachGurl2]

Hi, Graceanne. I find it interesting how people automatically catalogue subs as generally weaker. I don't mean being the youngest necessarily makes you weak, but it's one of a laundry list of traits that are often given to us. I'm the oldest of 5, and extremely alpha in my work life, but I am also a sub. I am opinionated, strong willed, and a bit of a smartass - okay, a lot of a smartass. I've noticed several other subs on here who sound a lot like me. Why do people feel the need to view us as weak willed people who just don't know what we want? I think it's really starting to piss me off. Maybe I should go yell at Dolf, where's that thread again?

Okay, off my soapbox. Sorry.

 

[graceanne]

Hi, Graceanne. I find it interesting how people automatically catalogue subs as generally weaker. I don't mean being the youngest necessarily makes you weak, but it's one of a laundry list of traits that are often given to us. I'm the oldest of 5, and extremely alpha in my work life, but I am also a sub. I am opinionated, strong willed, and a bit of a smartass - okay, a lot of a smartass. I've noticed several other subs on here who sound a lot like me. Why do people feel the need to view us as weak willed people who just don't know what we want? I think it's really starting to piss me off. Maybe I should go yell at Dolf, where's that thread again?

Okay, off my soapbox. Sorry.

I don't think that ADR thinks of subs as weaker. As a matter of fact I'd be very surprised if she did, since she's one of the strongest people I know.

I'm the oldest of six. *shrugs* And I'mnot looking to irritate people, I'm just curious.

 

[BeachGurl2]

I don't think that ADR thinks of subs as weaker. As a matter of fact I'd be very surprised if she did, since she's one of the strongest people I know.

I'm the oldest of six. *shrugs* And I'mnot looking to irritate people, I'm just curious.

I'm not irritated. Should have shown my sarcastic hat. I was just being a smartass. Ignore me.

 

[graceanne]

I'm not irritated. Should have shown my sarcastic hat. I was just being a smartass. Ignore me.

Oh, ok. lol I suppose you can be a smart ass. But just this once! Don't make me come over there!

 

[snowy ciara]

Yeah, Gracie hates it when there's a smarter ass that her around! ducks and wheels away REAAAALLY fast!

 

[greenmands]

I'm male and the youngest of 6, 4 boys and 2 girls. I'm also a switch.

 

[FurryFury]

Female, only child, currently thinking of myself as a sub. Yeah, I'm pretty Alpha in every area of my life not that I want to be, but someone has to do it!

Fury

 

[caela]

The oldest of nine (my parents have been divorced and remarried more than once, five of the nine are steps) and a sub. Like BeachGurl I'm pretty alpha at school, work, with family etc...but when I come home I don't want that. Now I just need to finish school so I can have the time to look for someone to come home too lol.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Interesting comments... thank you for starting this thread, graceanne. ;@

 

[A Desert Rose]

Hi, Graceanne.

I voted "Other" because I am only a sub in fantasies, not r/l.

I am the 2nd of 4 girls.

Alice

But I take issue with this comment. Being submissive does not mean you practice being tied up and beaten in real life. Being submissive is a state of mind as much as anything else, Alice. If this is how you see yourself, if this how you feel best about yourself, then this is what you are.

It's about comfort and being comfortable in your own skin. Whether that be as a Dom or a switch or a submissive/slave. If this is where you feel best and where your bliss is (or where you want it to be) then this is what you are.

You really should stop seeing yourself as second class here. I'm betting no one else views you as that. ;-)

And if I've offended you again, I apologize.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Female, only child, currently thinking of myself as a sub. Yeah, I'm pretty Alpha in every area of my life not that I want to be, but someone has to do it!

Fury

I'm betting that might change down the road. Your husband? Is he a first born also?

 

[FurryFury]

I'm betting that might change down the road. Your husband? Is he a first born also?

Yes! He is! The first born of three boys in fact.

What does that make you think? Please do tell!

Fury

 

[A Desert Rose]

Hi, Graceanne. I find it interesting how people automatically catalogue subs as generally weaker. I don't mean being the youngest necessarily makes you weak, but it's one of a laundry list of traits that are often given to us. I'm the oldest of 5, and extremely alpha in my work life, but I am also a sub. I am opinionated, strong willed, and a bit of a smartass - okay, a lot of a smartass. I've noticed several other subs on here who sound a lot like me. Why do people feel the need to view us as weak willed people who just don't know what we want? I think it's really starting to piss me off. Maybe I should go yell at Dolf, where's that thread again?

Okay, off my soapbox. Sorry.

I'm not sure where this is coming from. But none of it has anything to do with how I feel or view submissives. Or how any other submissives I know, view things.

Good luck, though. ;-)

 

[A Desert Rose]

Yes! He is!

What does that make you think? Please do tell!

Fury

Well, lol... I thought he was.

Damn, you're starting to make me feel smart now. LMAO

 

[BeachGurl2]

Yeah, Gracie hates it when there's a smarter ass that her around! ducks and wheels away REAAAALLY fast!

Okay. I'll try to tone it down a bit then. *tiptoes out of the room*

 

[BeachGurl2]

I'm not sure where this is coming from. But none of it has anything to do with how I feel or view submissives. Or how any other submissives I know, view things.

Good luck, though. ;-)

No, see my additional post to Gracie. I was being a smartass. Not intending to upset anyone. I'm sorry. I promise not to do it again.

*slinks away in shame*

 

[FurryFury]

Well, lol... I thought he was.

Damn, you're starting to make me feel smart now. LMAO

Okay and good ... how do you think things might change...

Fury

 

[A Desert Rose]

No, see my additional post to Gracie. I was being a smartass. Not intending to upset anyone. I'm sorry. I promise not to do it again.

*slinks away in shame*

Oh please... I'm not offended. All I said was I was not sure where your comments were coming from and that leads me to believe that you have a bit of a mmmm conflict going on. ;-)

Don't be apologizing to me, please. Just be who you are. And I will be too. ;-)

 

[BeachGurl2]

Oh please... I'm not offended. All I said was I was not sure where your comments were coming from and that leads me to believe that you have a bit of a mmmm conflict going on. ;-)

Don't be apologizing to me, please. Just be who you are. And I will be too. ;-)

I probably should just drop it but I can't. No conflict. Not even pissed off or upset. I was kidding - it was a joke. I brought something over from another thread that I should have left there. Next time I'll know better. This is why I don't post on this board very often - don't think people get my sarcasm.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Okay and good ... how do you think things might change...

Fury

Well, 2 dominants (first borns) are usually pretty critical of themselves, others and each other. You are both perfectionists. It comes with the territory. You're both natural born leaders too. Leaders tend to be in charge, in control, in the dominant position.

I think you will find that down the road you very well might be more comfortable as a switch. I'm betting he's really comfortable in the Dom role and so you might find you will be too. Switching is the safest, easiest compromise for you both.

It's a win-win for you both.

And I could also be full of shit, too. ;-)

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Other

Third of four, second son of three, second eldest, and only child.

i am what i am.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I probably should just drop it but I can't. No conflict. Not even pissed off or upset. I was kidding - it was a joke. I brought something over from another thread that I should have left there. Next time I'll know better. This is why I don't post on this board very often - don't think people get my sarcasm.

Oh join the club... I've been posting here for 3 yrs and 10K posts and people still don't understand me. And many don't like me, either. LOL

Keep posting here. It's the only way people will get to know you and your version of fun.

 

[FurryFury]

Well, 2 dominants (first borns) are usually pretty critical of themselves, others and each other. You are both perfectionists. It comes with the territory. You're both natural born leaders too. Leaders tend to be in charge, in control, in the dominant position.

I think you will find that down the road you very well might be more comfortable as a switch. I'm betting he's really comfortable in the Dom role and so you might find you will be too. Switching is the safest, easiest compromise for you both.

It's a win-win for you both.

And I could also be full of shit, too. ;-)

Well, actually he is more of a sub and so am I. Yes in the rest of our lives we are very independent and leaders.

He is very uncomfortable in the Dom role, how I wish that weren't the case.

We do switch for each other though, you got that right.

Fury