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Do you ever feel invisible?

Have a good day/evening, y'all. Time to brave the Christmas shopping crowds.
 
Lyricalli said:
Do you ever feel invisible?

Have a good day/evening, y'all. Time to brave the Christmas shopping crowds.
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Yes. :eek:

Gianbattista said:
Your new av is lovely Jezzi. Is your hair still red. I cannot tell in that picture :)

My new boots that have had me excited arrived this week and I have been breaking them in. My left ankle feels really tender from being pushed my boot. G is very excited by over knee boots, even though they are flat. Makes me giggle a bit. I can tell already they are going to be better than what I have been wearing though.
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Picture?

jezzilee said:
Have I disappeared yet?
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Never!
Cute new av :)
 
Gianbattista said:
The breaking in is sore, if it helps. The blue suede ones are more beautiful ( and would have been easier to break in) . But the black ones which I got are more practical. Here the suede would have no chance. :(. I'm a bit jealous of me too;). I haven't had decent winter foot wear for a while, and now I do ( once broken in). I still need G's help to take them on and off though, so I cannot wear them unless he is home :D
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Yeah, breaking in a new pair of boots is no fun. I want to get a new pair of Doc Martens but I am so not looking forward to breaking them in. :eek:

Have you tried using a boot jack?
 
Gianbattista said:
They come in all different leg sizes, from very, very narrow, to very, very wide. So they fit every body. Whether it suits is a different matter, but I am happy. I have kind of long legs for my height (medium height) so calf boots often look weird and wrong and knee boots sit at un unflattering height as you get older, especially if they hit too low. Also, I wear warm, soft, wooly ( cashmere or merino) stockings and I like that they will be mainly secret, my skirts /dresses will mostly cover the boot top.

There are other reasons I chose them too, but these are some.
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They are very pretty. I have short legs, being only 5'0. And my calves are kinda big. I've not been able to find comfortable boots that look right. :eek:
 
Gianbattista said:
Well, I think you should check that company out and see. They used to be called duo boots, and people stateside buy them, there are reviews from them. The duo clearance section might have some that would suit you more cheaply? I might try and get some calf boots if they have any longish ones, but normal length ones would probably work for you? Measure and see! They Aren't cheap, but boots that fit well and are made well are worth it. One good pair taken care of give lots of options.
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Thank you, Elle. :rose: I'll consider it. Cost really isn't a problem, just comfort and fit. And I may be one of the few women on the planet who hate to shop.
 
Gianbattista said:
I fell out of love with shopping when I stopped seeing value in my own appearance. :eek:. Gianbattista ALWAYS makes me feel sexy to him, but I found I struggle to see it myself . One of the things joining literotica has done for me is started helping me see that some people will see the beauty in more than the young and perfect. A compassionate outlook I would take to others but maybe am less kind in applying to myself.

I know at least one other person on literotica who I think treats other people better than treats themselves.

In seeing this I have realised that at some point this has to change, and whether its the self love, which I have to refoster, or the treating myself with love, comes first is not so important. So I am starting with the 'dress for success'. I have bought some clothes, i am starting to enjoy buying lingerie more, I enjoyed being brave to experiment with my hair colour, and bought some make up. Buying boots instead of making do because ' it doesn't matter for me' .....its all part of the picture.

Its important to differentiate between comforting myself with buying stuff, that's not happening, but Rather I am saying 'well, no, I am not who I was when I was x age, and not who I thought I would be now, but this is who I am, so let's make the best of it' not wait for a future that may or may not happen.

So I bought beautiful boots. I'm not keeping things for best anymore so much either.
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Lit has taught me that people can appreciate the beauty within, without worrying about all the insecurities I have about my personal appearance. I have met three Literoticans in real life and none went screaming into the night. :D

And yes, I've learned that you cannot expect someone else to love you if you cannot love yourself. But that's the real trick, I think.

You sound like you are finding your path; I like that you are treating yourself with the clothes, hair, and makeup. If you can love what is underneath the 'things', then there is no problem. :)

And by the way, I think you are incredibly sexy, never having seen you. G is a lucky man.
 
Gianbattista said:
Why would you? :confused: the yellow.
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I was being a bit dramatic, making my lament about invisibility rather difficult to see. it's not very like me, but I was in a bit of a mood at the time.

As to why I would... it's probably something that would seem silly to most people, and it is in the grand scheme of things. I probably should've just kept it to myself, but I didn't in the moment, so I'll just apologize for not being more open about it now.


gypsyTX said:
Yes. :eek:
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elizabethwest said:
Every damn day.
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:rose:
 
elizabethwest said:
Thank you, Elle. :rose: I'll consider it. Cost really isn't a problem, just comfort and fit. And I may be one of the few women on the planet who hate to shop.
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I'm one of those few, too. :)



Gianbattista said:
In seeing this I have realised that at some point this has to change, and whether its the self love, which I have to refoster, or the treating myself with love, comes first is not so important. So I am starting with the 'dress for success'. I have bought some clothes, i am starting to enjoy buying lingerie more, I enjoyed being brave to experiment with my hair colour, and bought some make up. Buying boots instead of making do because ' it doesn't matter for me' .....its all part of the picture.
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I agree that it doesn't matter which comes first: loving yourself or treating yourself lovingly. I think that treating yourself lovingly can certainly help you get to the point where you do feel it. Fake it until you make it, is an idea that works, I think. Love and acceptance of myself has been something I've struggled with all my life. I make more peace with me as I get older, but some days are harder than others, and there are some lessons that have to be learned more than once. It's inspirational to hear how you're refostering that love for yourself for who you are now. And, I'm glad you're not saving the best stuff for later as much.



elizabethwest said:
And yes, I've learned that you cannot expect someone else to love you if you cannot love yourself. But that's the real trick, I think.
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When you don't have much of an opinion about yourself, I think you're more likely to choose people unwisely.
 
elizabethwest said:
Or you choose no one, as I have done for the better part of a decade. :eek:
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Well, given the choice between being alone and being with someone that's not good for you, alone is the better option. I spent a lot of time not believing anyone would find me lovable, so I just didn't trust anyone who showed any interest in me. And, likely, I didn't even recognize some of the ones who may have been interested. Perhaps that was for the best, though there's no way to know that now.

It's tough letting someone in after keeping people at a distance for so long.
 
Lyricalli said:
Well, given the choice between being alone and being with someone that's not good for you, alone is the better option. I spent a lot of time not believing anyone would find me lovable, so I just didn't trust anyone who showed any interest in me. And, likely, I didn't even recognize some of the ones who may have been interested. Perhaps that was for the best, though there's no way to know that now.

It's tough letting someone in after keeping people at a distance for so long.
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My God, it's like I'm looking in a mirror. This has been me exactly, for a very long time. All the walls I've built to protect myself... I'm trying to trust again, but it is not easy. :eek:
 
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