Nuances in style (BEWARE: I RAMBLE!)

[flawed_ethics]

I've FINALLY given my opus a final proofread (except for a touch up I want to sleep on - otherwise it's good). I don't know how it will break up yet, but I think it will be a good five or six chapters of 2-3 pages on Lit when posted.

To me, that's a lot. I haven't the guts to ask Laurel to make a few minor adjustments if I found out my style of writing creates severe conflits with the readers.

So, I ask for the opinions of the Hangout:

* In using dashes, which do you prefer: "blah--blah," or, "blah - blah?" I prefer the later, but often times I find myself being told to use the double-dash method (for sentence spacing, not for joining two words together).

* I also have my worries about pronoun use. Writing a paragraph where "...she does this, she does that, she went to the store, she took it up the ass, she ate him, she she she..." is really weird for me. I find myself using the character's name or title (father, youth, dirty-old-bastard) to break the monotony. It reads okay to me, but it's also how I think. A previous thread (I forget which) mentioned this can be a distraction. The proofreader, albeit incredibly helpful, seemed suspiciously indifferent to the matter.

Verb tense agreement is also worrying me, but that's another issue.

I realize this is mostly small stuff. The story is done and refined. I would just regret posting it only to have it lose points to small grammatical oversights. I know I can't get over people who don't place commas in front of quotation marks when people talk. Who knows what other hang-ups people have.

I'll hush now.

 

[snooper]

Stop crying and get it in!

 

[gauchecritic]

* In using dashes, which do you prefer: "blah--blah," or, "blah - blah?" I prefer the later, but often times I find myself being told to use the double-dash method (for sentence spacing, not for joining two words together).

* I also have my worries about pronoun use. Writing a paragraph where "...she does this, she does that, she went to the store, she took it up the ass, she ate him, she she she..." is really weird for me. I find myself using the character's name or title (father, youth, dirty-old-bastard) to break the monotony. It reads okay to me, but it's also how I think. A previous thread (I forget which) mentioned this can be a distraction. The proofreader, albeit incredibly helpful, seemed suspiciously indifferent to the matter.

Can't say one way or t'other about dashes. When I separate sentences I use the return key.

As long as there are only a speicific number of people about whom you are writing at one time (let's say two for the sake of arguement) then it is much much easier and more interesting when reading to use various titles/names/descriptions.
Just as you would avoid the Ark Effect (same adjectives/verbs in one sentence/paragraph) (you DO avoid this don't you?) the same applies to nouns both proper and common. (or is that proper and improper?) But like the man said "Stop crying and post it"

Gauche

 

[KillerMuffin]

You can use blah - blah, but it will be mistaken for a hyphen. Most Americans prefer the use of blah--blah these days. Brits do as well, I understand.

 

[TheEarl]

I was always taught single hyphen and assume that is the English style. However it could just have been my school.

The Earl

 

[Madame Manga]

Single en dashes sometimes lose their spaces--it's happened to me--and so, especially online, I'd go for double en dashes when em dashes aren't available.

IMO, using a character's name instead of the equivalent pronoun once in a while is often the way to go. But it depends on context. Names and pronouns are invisible, and invisible words are good. If a word shouldn't draw attention to itself, don't force it to.

One thing I don't like to see is randomly varying equivalents for the same character--"the younger man", "the blond man", "the slutty little twink". It's tempting, especially in m/m or f/f, to introduce descriptive phrases like that to make it clear which character you are talking about, but they almost always stick out a mile. Even if you are consistent and always mention "the younger man", the fact that he is young or blond or slutty only needs to be said once, not every time he does something, and the specific description usually ends up having nothing to do with the action he is performing.

MM

 

[wildsweetone]

"the slutty little twink". MM

i always thought twink was the stuff you put on your screen to blot out misspelled words. i gotta get out more.


it looks like the '--' or the '-' are owner preferences and i admit to preferring the latter. (partly because it's one less key to type)

pronoun use:
i think that personally if i find something doesn't flow smoothly, then i'd alter the order in which the pronouns are used. i'd vary their useage perhaps ensuring that no two sentences following one after the other are using the exact same pronoun choice.

i.e.
Betty Bopper baked the sponge cake. She put orange slices in the cake tin first before smearing strawberry jam around the tin's edges. Pouring in the cake mixture, she ensured none spilled onto the kitchen bench. Knowing it might spill caused the buxom blonde's hand to shake. The aftermath was, of course, that Betty had to bend forward to lick the spillage from the bench.


note the use of the word 'Pouring' as a beginner? it saves repitition of 'She' as in 'She poured in...'

also note the use of Betty at the beginning and ending of the paragraph. 'Unity' that's called, methinks.


verb tense.
okay i hate this stuff. ask TheEarl, he knows stuff about this. i don't.

***
you've given me some food for thought about 'grammar' and 'style'. i am inclined to believe that the two are different issues. i try very hard to ensure that the editing i suggest on other author's work, does not touch their own 'style'. even when i notice that something screams at me that it's wrong... i am determined to not touch it. i get the feeling i am sullying their style.
***


*off to get some cream for the cake...*

 

[flawed_ethics]

Thank you all for your replies. It's interesting to see the different opinions and reasons for each author's styles.

I've already sent it off. Seven chapters, pending Laurel's approval. Beats sending it off as one thirteen/fourteen page story, IMHO.

 

[snooper]

Re: Re: Nuances in style (BEWARE: I RAMBLE!)

When I separate sentences I use the return key.

The return key is to separate things called "paragraphs" which are collections of related sentences.

I was always taught single hyphen and assume that is the English style. However it could just have been my school.

Ditto and ditto.

Seven chapters, pending Laurel's approval. Beats sending it off as one thirteen/fourteen page story, IMHO.

Definitely worse in terms of voting. Only people who like it will get through to the end of a multi-Litpage story, whereas the potential "one" voters will give mark opprobrium on your first chapter.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Dear flaw, imagine trying to choose between all the little `--´-" and * when it's not even your mother tongue!

Some of my readers never get passed the first sentence. Lucky for me, I've also got readers with MORE than 5 in IQ.

 

[MathGirl]

Dear flaw, imagine trying to choose between all the little `--´-" and * when it's not even your mother tongue!

Dear Svenska,
I find it difficult to believe that a reader will notice or give the slightest damn whether there are one or two hyphens.

Yes, it's a mother of a language.
MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

You'd be amazed at what people may find to pick on... It's just like 4th grade. My teachers couldn't find any spelling mistakes in my essays, so they corrected hyphenations and sentence structures instead.

When my readers can't critisize my plots and characters and spelling, they begin grasping at straws. And when they have made their little straws cum, they start critisizing my grammar.

 

[DurtGurl]

Helpful suggeastion

When my readers can't critisize my plots and characters and spelling, they begin grasping at straws. And when they have made their little straws cum, they start critisizing my grammar.

Dear Svenska,
Why don't you try my little trick. I politeley suggest that they go fuck theirselfs.
Helpfully,
DG