Nuance of the meaning of "MILF"

[djrip]

Is that because all Dad’s are assumed to be fuckable? Obviously by nubile teens (related or not). That goes without saying.

Em

I think it's because there is much less interest among the population in sex with dads, than there is in sex with moms. Or the women who want sex with dads don't talk about it nearly so much as the men who want sex with moms.

 

[John_Vandermeer]

Is that because all Dad’s are assumed to be fuckable? Obviously by nubile teens (related or not). That goes without saying.

Em

Haha! At the risk of sounding like a card carrying LW incel (which I am certainly not) I think the math is tough for the dad/nubile teen dynamic. Unless the dad in question is a standout in all the right ways.

 

[John_Vandermeer]

There is no really strict "age limit", in my opinion, when it comes to "MILF".

A WOMAN of "child bearing age" is what I think of.

Actually of "child bearing age" would make it skew much, much younger than what I think most people understand by MILF. It would cut off the top at menopause or way before, and expand the bottom down to puberty.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Haha! At the risk of sounding like a card carrying LW incel (which I am certainly not) I think the math is tough for the dad/nubile teen dynamic. Unless the dad in question is a standout in all the right ways.

Standout is a good word .

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

I think it's because there is much less interest among the population in sex with dads, than there is in sex with moms. Or the women who want sex with dads don't talk about it nearly so much as the men who want sex with moms.

Why so many DD/lg vids then .

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

A WOMAN of "child bearing age" is what I think of.

So that could include some 12 yos. Laurel is going to be delighted.

Em

 

[alohadave]

Is that because all Dad’s are assumed to be fuckable? Obviously by nubile teens (related or not). That goes without saying.

Em

It's not universally applied, so no. Men generally aren't automatic sex objects like women are.

And from what I've seen, it's used more by woman of a similar age to the men.

Why so many DD/lg vids then .

Em

You are trying to compare a fetish community to the general population?

 

[John_Vandermeer]

For what it is worth, in the medical profession the name for a pregnancy over 35 is "geriatric". Yes, I know that with hormones and what not we have 50yos with babies... But its the already being a mother, not the being able to be a mother, that mostly counts.

 

[EmilyMiller]

It's not universally applied, so no. Men generally aren't automatic sex objects like women are.

And from what I've seen, it's used more by woman of a similar age to the men.


You are trying to compare a fetish community to the general population?

There are people without fetishes ?

Em

 

[Zootonius]

Why so many DD/lg vids then .

Em

There was a thread here some time back on incest stories. A general view was that Mom/Son is kinky but Dad/daughter is creepy.

 

[Zootonius]

There are people without fetishes ?

Em

One person's fetish is another person's normal.

 

[djrip]

Again, just guessing here. I think most of these things, in porn, are aimed at and driven by the male audience. There is demand for hot moms in porn because of men. I'm sure there are women interested in hot dads, but it seems much less, or at least much less catered to by the porn industry. Is there huge underground demand for DILFs? Maybe, but it's not apparent that there is. I think the DD/lg stuff is mostly aimed at men interested in lg, less at women interested in DD. So they aren't called DILFs because their title is not based on who wants them, on them being objects in the female gaze, on women wanting them because they are dads. It seems like there is a fetish around motherhood and fertility that doesn't seem to be there for fatherhood. I mean male virility is fetishized but I don't think males having fathered children is, in the way that women being mothers is. IMHO.

It also seems like 'Daddy' is a role play about pretending the guy is your daddy, while MILF stuff is a fantasy about being with the woman who is actually a mother, perhaps old enough to be your mother.

 

[Seadog777]

Actually of "child bearing age" would make it skew much, much younger than what I think most people understand by MILF. It would cut off the top at menopause or way before, and expand the bottom down to puberty.

I KNEW someone would say this, that's why I purposely left it out.

Only a complete fucking idiot, would actually truly believe that way.

FTR....not saying you are.

 

[Seadog777]

So that could include some 12 yos. Lauren is going to be delighted.

Em

See above statement.

 

[yowser]

It's usually DILF, if you are referring to father. And it is used, not nearly as much as MILF.

You're right. My ignorance is astounding at times.

Just for the record: over 60 tales tagged 'dilf.' But almost half are GM.

Fascinating.

 

[EmilyMiller]

There was a thread here some time back on incest stories. A general view was that Mom/Son is kinky but Dad/daughter is creepy.

Sounds logical and consistent.

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

Again, just guessing here. I think most of these things, in porn, are aimed at and driven by the male audience. There is demand for hot moms in porn because of men. I'm sure there are women interested in hot dads, but it seems much less, or at least much less catered to by the porn industry. Is there huge underground demand for DILFs? Maybe, but it's not apparent that there is. I think the DD/lg stuff is mostly aimed at men interested in lg, less at women interested in DD. So they aren't called DILFs because their title is not based on who wants them, on them being objects in the female gaze, on women wanting them because they are dads. It seems like there is a fetish around motherhood and fertility that doesn't seem to be there for fatherhood. I mean male virility is fetishized but I don't think males having fathered children is, in the way that women being mothers is. IMHO.

It also seems like 'Daddy' is a role play about pretending the guy is your daddy, while MILF stuff is a fantasy about being with the woman who is actually a mother, perhaps old enough to be your mother.

What he said.

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

See above statement.

Which bit of what I said was inaccurate, just wondering, hun. You know, so I can avoid the mistake in future.

Em

 

[John_Vandermeer]

There was a thread here some time back on incest stories. A general view was that Mom/Son is kinky but Dad/daughter is creepy.

Unless father-daughter is F/m. IMHO.

 

[ronde]

I agree with Simon and lean toward the original meaning of the term.

To me:
- Cougar is officially old enough (fifties) to not care what people think.
- MILF - likely forties, late thirties, old enough to be a parent of the admirer’s peer group. (That is/was the origin of the term.)
- Hot mom - anyone pushing a stroller, with Nannies, au pairs, and babysitters at risk of being mistaken for one. And this is where the distinction gets most blurred. One man’s MILF is another man’s Hot mom.

So, like going overboard on body descriptions, going overboard on assigning an exact age might just make certain aged readers become disinterested and go off and find some fan fiction to read instead.

Hmm. A cougar, a milf, and a hot mom walk into a bar. There’s gotta be a joke there somewhere!

My definitions

-MILF - A woman old enough to have kids in their late teens. Usually, that will be somewhere between 35 and 45. She's hot to friends of her teen age boys, but probably won't take them up on any offers with out a whole lot of convincing. Maybe not quite as much convincing if she's divorced or doesn't think she's attractive any more.
- GILF - same as a MILF but old enough to have grandchildren. That means the age of 40 and up. She bakes cookies for her neighbors and thinks the way young guys stare at her is a little disconcerting, but a lot of fun. She'll take more convincing, but with her experience, the convincing will be worth the effort.
- Cougar - A woman, usually single, who is past childbearing and who is old enough she doesn't care what people think. This usually puts her at least at 45 or older. She doesn't need convincing. She knows what she wants and isn't bashful about telling a younger guy what that is. She's on the hunt for a young guy.
- Hot Mom - Sort of like a MILF but she knows she's hot and goes out of her way to show it. Like a Cougar, she's old enough to know what she likes and isn't afraid to tell. She might not be actively looking for a young guy, but she probably won't turn down the opportunity if presented.
- DILF - The good looking and in-shape father who get's introduced to his teen daughter's girlfriends. That puts him at probably over 40. Even if he's divorced, he'll take the most convincing of them all because the public and the law takes a very dim view of a man with a woman much younger than he.

 

[MrPixel]

40+ posts and nobody has mentioned the original MILF? The one who defined the genre? My gosh! Philistines, all of you!

The definitive MILF was Barbara Billingsley playing June Cleaver on Leave It to Beaver, especially in scenes with an almost-leering Eddie Haskell (Ken Osmond) kissing up to his buddy's mom. Billingsley was in her mid-40s in the series, always trim and poised. She was a fashion model early in her acting career.

 

[Lady2020]

Reminds me of being called a MILF on a Chicago street in my early 50s. I had to ask what MILF meant. The guy was young, and drunk. Maybe he liked my cutoffs. Who knows. Mainly, he was drunk af.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

As it has already been pointed out, a lot of the terminology is a product of male sexual fantasies. Sometimes there is a compliment in those "names", but in every one of those terms there is a notion of women being sexual objects of men's fantasy. Many women I know would take being called a MILF as a compliment, but that is besides the point.
Women really need to start retaliating in a similar way, with something that is sexual, but also hitting the male ego, because men don't really mind being seen as sexual objects. My suggestion would be, for example, something that hits the masculinity of men, the idea that they are alphas.
Quick ideas:

DILDO - Dad I'd Love to Dominate Often
SIMP -Stud I'll Make my Pet.
In my experience, adding some meaning that woman is dominant and in control will piss off most men

 

[John_Vandermeer]

As it has already been pointed out, a lot of the terminology is a product of male sexual fantasies. Sometimes there is a compliment in those "names", but in every one of those terms there is a notion of women being sexual objects of men's fantasy. Many women I know would take being called a MILF as a compliment, but that is besides the point.
Women really need to start retaliating in a similar way, with something that is sexual, but also hitting the male ego, because men don't really mind being seen as sexual objects. My suggestion would be, for example, something that hits the masculinity of men, the idea that they are alphas.
Quick ideas:

DILDO - Dad I'd Love to Dominate Often
SIMP -Stud I'll Make my Pet.
In my experience, adding some meaning that woman is dominant and in control will piss off most men

Unless we like Dommes. Then the effect is different.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Unless we like Dommes. Then the effect is different.

I disagree. For example, sexually, I like femdom, but in everything else, I am pretty strong-minded, borderline stubborn, and I wouldn't let anyone else lead me or tell me what to do, male or female. And sure as hell I wouldn't like to be publicly called something that would make me look like a beta-male. The world of sexual fantasies has its own rules and nuances, but outside of it, we are often quite different creatures.
Also, every term we already have is a compliment for a woman who actually likes to be objectified, so yeah, there are always people who won't be hit by these things.