nsa

[nycjacksparrow]

hi all,

i came out of a long term committed relationship (monogomous) and am reluctant to get involved in another one anytime soon (it was very long term, deeply intimate). however, i very much miss the sensual and sexual contact with a beautiful woman. hesitant to fulfill that craving through professional help, so, interested to hear some ideas, if you'll be kind enough to share, how to go about meeting women who may be up for same (after all, i suspect women have same cravings, and at least some are also interested in satisfaction without the work and commitments?)

like the thread heading says, i truly am interested in No Strings Attached sex - enjoy a hot sweaty sex session with a girl without worrying about attachments.

thanks.

 

[llmjj83]

site

Here's an idea for you. May be something you're interested in, may not. Try swinglifestyle.com. It's worth a shot. Best of luck to you.

 

[nycjacksparrow]

thanks for the suggestion. isn't swinging for couples though? do they even allowed solo males to participate?

 

[SweetErika]

thanks for the suggestion. isn't swinging for couples though? do they even allowed solo males to participate?

Swinging is primarily for couples, although there are some single men in the scene. The ones who do fairly well likely established themselves in the community while they were part of a couple and/or have a truly exceptional look, personality or something else. SLS is a great site for swingers, but I would not recommend it to a guy who's seeking NSA sex on his own.

I WOULD suggest the two 100% free sites OKCupid and PlentyofFish. Also, my husband has a coworker who used Match.com with great results when he was in his late twenties and primarily looking for NSA sex/a FB or FWB type of situation. He met tons of women (many were in their forties) who jumped right into bed after they met him for a drink or dinner. Obviously the profile you create on any site needs to be fantastic and unique enough to stand out from the pack.

 

[ConfusedAgain]

Don't people go to bars anymore?

I have. The guys there are so ick..

 

[nycjacksparrow]

thank you for sharing your thoughts/advice... i'll check out okcupid and plentyoffish. a friend of mine also had similar success on match - coincidentally he was looking or a serious relationship but had hordes of replies from beautiful women and had a whirlwind of dates, including lots of sex. just so happens he's 6'7, blonde, blue eyed... lol.

thanks again for the suggestions, look forward to hearing from more people with ideas and their experiences.

 

[ILmonamour]

I'd recommend swinglifestyle.com, look over the site and search through other singles. It's free, and simple to connect. It also has events and listings for people that are looking for something day-of. It's easier than the odds at a bar. Craigslist is loaded with spammers for men, but not a list cause.

 

[nycjacksparrow]

any more ideas?

 

[Eilan]

any more ideas?

You can always pay for it.

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

Oh yes. But let's leave aside the ordinary stuff that is basically just guesswork by people who are more or less just as 'successful/unsuccessful' as you may have considered yourself to have been...

I know people are trying to be helpful. At the same time I have observed there are also just way too many people with opinions who assert them as some kind of truth-from-on-high.

You want to connect, don't you? You want the real deal, don't you?

Today, we are all SWAMPED with commercial websites and commercial services and computerised everything - so who's giving the advice though. Some kind of sex god/goddess? Who are they?

Let's face it - most people are sexual cripples. Well, in terms of what they themselves think of as an ideal situation, but they won't admit it... And they hide behind various facades - 'being good,' or 'faithfulness' and so on but the fact is they have extremely limited practical, that is to say actual knowledge of non-commercial sex and especially 'without attachments...' Personally I don't know about 'without ANY attachment at all,' but, let's proceed anyway.

And a HUGE amount of people are puritanical or hidebound by pseudo-religious rules or what they conceive of as morality.

For many reasons even these days quite a few women are inhibited by lack of independence and the demands (sometimes positive, but demands all the same) that children place on their time.

Here's the thing though, Jack S. The most highly-prized, most sought-after thing among humans is not money - and that there is the deception that confuses the issue because it is common belief to assume that sex is most easily accessed via money.

The most highly-prized thing is another knowledgeable, sensual, sexually-available human being - in other words, the most highly-prized thing is sex itself; that is to say GOOD sex.

One sensual person can tell another sensual person a hundred metres off, in a fog, at night.

Are you, Jack, a sensual person?

Do you express sensuality? Is it flowing from every pore on your body?

Do you walk in a quiet and self-assured way that lets people know you are at ease with yourself - it is the most attractive thing and counts as much as what your face looks like...

If you believe that you can access really good sex by way of money alone, then don't listen to me. If you believe women can 'perform' genuinely just on account of money, then don't listen to me.

But if what I'm saying is making a little sense to you, then begin right away to be the most sensual person you can be and someone who is good for the other person - whoever that other person might be. Okay there are plenty of problematic people in the world some of whom even superficially look good. But you yourself have set down the (in my view, sensible) condition that you don't outright need or seek 'attachment.' This might save you from bad mistakes - of which there can be plenty if you engage with people in any matter really. For god's sakes, some of us voted for politicians we later questioned our own judgement about, and I have in earlier times made the occasional very bad mistake about which jockey could ride a winning race horse!!

We all live and learn. But learn this now: people like sex and they especially like other sexy people. You have to be a sexual and sensual person yourself in order to attract sexual partners. You have to be the person THE OTHER person needs. BE that person.

What are your limitations. Why do you have them. Get rid of as many of them as you think you can without losing the best of yourself.

You will find people wandering up to you and propositioning you. Anywhere. Anytime. And you'll be left with the problem of knowing in situ what to do about it. And let me tell you, the real reason people use some sort of commercial structure - escort/dating services, whatever - is mostly because both sides have no clue about how to communicate sexual transactions naturally anymore, nowdays. We are all SO-O-O savvy and so advanced and so intelligent and of course credentialed. NOT!

I must say, I also find styles of behaviour and communication vary wildy and widely from nation to nation around the world. If you were in South Africa, or Great Britain or Australia, I would have some detailed and very accurate pointers - but my own experiences in the US are related to Chicago and a little of NY and in both cases I found that I was being treated very differently to the local guys because I appeared to be foreign. And I did find that American women treat Australian or British men MUCH MUCH better than they appeared to be treating the local males. So I don't know the precise 'way' a local should handle things there. On my own turf, I know stuff... I think you need to be aware of the local conditions, put it that way, in order to apply what I have said with precision.

Best of luck,

'DMMWK.'

 

[subwannabe]

Here's my advice. You probably won't take it but masturbation is there for a reason. This is the time. Take a rain check on any kind of relationships for a while before something happens to you that you will regret.