arctic-stranger
Waiting for July
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2005
- Posts
- 1,133
Neomagalie said:
I will HAVE to remember that one.....
Now this was really funny
- Thread starter Wizard
- Start date
I will HAVE to remember that one.....
WriterDom
Good to the last drop
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2000
- Posts
- 20,077
>An Asian man was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
>
>He asked the American bank teller, "Why it change ? Yesterday I get
>two hunant dollar fo yen. Today I get hunant eighty."
>
>The bank teller replies, "Fluctuations."
>
>The Asian man says, "Fluc you white guys too !"
>
>He asked the American bank teller, "Why it change ? Yesterday I get
>two hunant dollar fo yen. Today I get hunant eighty."
>
>The bank teller replies, "Fluctuations."
>
>The Asian man says, "Fluc you white guys too !"
AngelicAssassin
Something Wicked
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2001
- Posts
- 10,945
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/yelrotflmao.gifWriterDom said:
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2004
- Posts
- 14,027
That's a creme-filled (or cream-filled) donut. A glazed donut just has sugar melted on a plain cake or yeast donut.arctic-stranger said:
AngelicAssassin
Something Wicked
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2001
- Posts
- 10,945
View now ... gone soon Part 1 of 2
7 Reasons not to Drink.
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95080.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95081.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95082.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95083.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95084.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95085.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95086.jpg
7 Reasons not to Drink.
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95080.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95081.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95082.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95083.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95084.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95085.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95086.jpg
AngelicAssassin
Something Wicked
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2001
- Posts
- 10,945
View now ... gone soon Part 2 of 2
6 more Reasons not to Drink.
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95087.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95088.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95089.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95090.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95091.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95092.jpg
6 more Reasons not to Drink.
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95087.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95088.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95089.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95090.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95091.jpg
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/ATT95092.jpg
AngelicAssassin
Something Wicked
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2001
- Posts
- 10,945
New meaning behind the phrase Bad Ass!
These pics came from a someone's dad in AZ. Yes the mule killed the mountain lion. The lion had been stalking them for the better part of the morning, on the way out to a hunt. They were pretty sure it was after a dog. The cat apparently ambushed them, and the mule pictured tossed its rider and went into attack (defense) mode, the horses scattered and shots were fired but no one was sure if they hit the cat or not. Unfortunately, the battle was decently long, and it wasn't until it was almost over that one of the guys started snapping pics. The mule finally stomped the cougar to death after biting and throwing it around like a rag doll. The dogs wouldn't even come close until the mule settled down.
The cat was still alive here and trying to fight back.
http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/graphics/mulelion01.jpg
The mule stomped the cat then pinned it to the ground and bit the heck out of the dead cat several more times.
http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/graphics/mulelion04.jpg
The cat was pretty much dead by now then mule picked up the cat again whipped it into the air again ...
http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/graphics/mulelion02.jpg
then stomped the dead cat again for good measure!
http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/graphics/mulelion03.jpg
Note the dog audience. Gives a whole new meaning to the term "BAD ASS"
For those with healthy skepticism, click me.
These pics came from a someone's dad in AZ. Yes the mule killed the mountain lion. The lion had been stalking them for the better part of the morning, on the way out to a hunt. They were pretty sure it was after a dog. The cat apparently ambushed them, and the mule pictured tossed its rider and went into attack (defense) mode, the horses scattered and shots were fired but no one was sure if they hit the cat or not. Unfortunately, the battle was decently long, and it wasn't until it was almost over that one of the guys started snapping pics. The mule finally stomped the cougar to death after biting and throwing it around like a rag doll. The dogs wouldn't even come close until the mule settled down.
The cat was still alive here and trying to fight back.
http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/graphics/mulelion01.jpg
The mule stomped the cat then pinned it to the ground and bit the heck out of the dead cat several more times.
http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/graphics/mulelion04.jpg
The cat was pretty much dead by now then mule picked up the cat again whipped it into the air again ...
http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/graphics/mulelion02.jpg
then stomped the dead cat again for good measure!
http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/graphics/mulelion03.jpg
Note the dog audience. Gives a whole new meaning to the term "BAD ASS"
For those with healthy skepticism, click me.
AngelicAssassin
Something Wicked
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2001
- Posts
- 10,945
i agree a good idea, but no, i'm not volunteering.Miss Diva said:
i'm quite sure you can find several other willing candidates.
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
Why Women are Crabby
We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to
find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds
hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously
uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap
until we had calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner)..
Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the
hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or
insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage (prema! rital or not) was having sex
for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push
your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up
with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the
fuss was about.
Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry
crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day
leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and
we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us
steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were
preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.
Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole
and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment
arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in
the middle of! the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet,
moaning in pain all the way to the ER.
Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please
stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good
push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch
the ***** (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling,
mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that
when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed
into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little
poop machines.
Then come their teen years. Need I say more?
When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexua! l
prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th
birthday.
So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the
Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in
those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat
like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the
head off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men
get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in
the woods without soaking their socks...
So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great
Gandhi a tad crabby.. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.
We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to
find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds
hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously
uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap
until we had calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner)..
Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the
hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or
insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage (prema! rital or not) was having sex
for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push
your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up
with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the
fuss was about.
Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry
crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day
leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and
we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us
steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were
preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.
Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole
and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment
arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in
the middle of! the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet,
moaning in pain all the way to the ER.
Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please
stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good
push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch
the ***** (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling,
mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that
when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed
into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little
poop machines.
Then come their teen years. Need I say more?
When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexua! l
prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th
birthday.
So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the
Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in
those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat
like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the
head off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men
get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in
the woods without soaking their socks...
So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great
Gandhi a tad crabby.. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
So no one can say I'm sexist . . .
Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allowsn them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allowsn them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "pay" she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us."
"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the fucking sheet rock..."
Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "pay" she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us."
"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the fucking sheet rock..."
arctic-stranger
Waiting for July
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2005
- Posts
- 1,133
graceanne said:
I once did a children's sermon where i asked what was the worst thing you could say to someone. I was going for "I hate you."
On bright kid goes..."Shit!"
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2004
- Posts
- 14,027
I just can't help myself - it's Spring!
For those who enjoy suspension play - a little different outlook:
http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/uclickcomics/cx_bl_uc/latest
And single-tail (or even flogger) enthusiasts may find this scientific article of great interest.
http://english.prav******/main/18/90/360/15176_whipping.html
Well, chit! Can someone tell me why Lit won't let "english.prav******" go through? I've corrected and previewed this 5 times now, and it keeps putting those damn freakin' ****** in there! (So to get to this story, do NOT click on the link shown - copy-paste it into your browser's address window and replace the ****** with d a . r u {without the spaces between characters - it won't let me put those five characters in, even!} and hit Go.)
For those who enjoy suspension play - a little different outlook:
http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/uclickcomics/cx_bl_uc/latest
And single-tail (or even flogger) enthusiasts may find this scientific article of great interest.
http://english.prav******/main/18/90/360/15176_whipping.html
Well, chit! Can someone tell me why Lit won't let "english.prav******" go through? I've corrected and previewed this 5 times now, and it keeps putting those damn freakin' ****** in there! (So to get to this story, do NOT click on the link shown - copy-paste it into your browser's address window and replace the ****** with d a . r u {without the spaces between characters - it won't let me put those five characters in, even!} and hit Go.)
AngelicAssassin
Something Wicked
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2001
- Posts
- 10,945
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
My mom told me this at church last night:
A woman is going out with some friends and her husband asks when she's gonna be in.
"12:00" she says.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"I promise."
So the night goes by and the Margaritas are sliding down reeeaaal easy, and it's 3 AM before she gets in. As she's walking through the front door the cukoo clock cukoo's three times. Thinking real fast she cukoo's 9 more times and goes to bed. The next morning her husband asked when she got in.
"12." she lies
"Then we need a new cukoo clock." he said.
"Why?"
"Well, last night, as you were comeing in it cukoo'd three times. Then it cukoo'd three more times. It paused cukoo'd three more times and giggled. Then it cukoo'd 6 more times, fell over the coffee table and farted."
A woman is going out with some friends and her husband asks when she's gonna be in.
"12:00" she says.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"I promise."
So the night goes by and the Margaritas are sliding down reeeaaal easy, and it's 3 AM before she gets in. As she's walking through the front door the cukoo clock cukoo's three times. Thinking real fast she cukoo's 9 more times and goes to bed. The next morning her husband asked when she got in.
"12." she lies
"Then we need a new cukoo clock." he said.
"Why?"
"Well, last night, as you were comeing in it cukoo'd three times. Then it cukoo'd three more times. It paused cukoo'd three more times and giggled. Then it cukoo'd 6 more times, fell over the coffee table and farted."
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2004
- Posts
- 14,027
Not long ago I met the waitress of my dreams.
About halfway through dinner I called the waitress over and said, "Ma'am, this potato is bad."
She nodded, picked up the potato and smacked it. Then she put it back on my plate and said, "Sir, if that potato causes any more trouble, you just let me know."
About halfway through dinner I called the waitress over and said, "Ma'am, this potato is bad."
She nodded, picked up the potato and smacked it. Then she put it back on my plate and said, "Sir, if that potato causes any more trouble, you just let me know."
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2004
- Posts
- 14,027
Groooooaaannnnnnn!
Patient says, "Doc, you must check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"
The doctor cautiously places his ear to the man's thigh only to hear, "Give me $10! I'm desperate! I need $10!"
"I've never seen or heard anything like this before! How long has this been going on?" the doctor asked.
"That's nothing, Doc. Put your ear to my knee."
The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Please! I really need $5! Just $5! Please! I'm desperate!"
"Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was truly dumbfounded.
"Wait, Doc, that's not all of it. There's more. Just put your ear down on my ankle," the man urged him.
The doctor did as the man said and was amazed to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need $20! Please lend me $20, please! I am really desperate!"
"I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing about it in any of my books," he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books.
"However... I can make a well-educated guess. Based on life and all my previous experiences, I can tell you with some certainty, that your leg seems to be broke in three places."
Patient says, "Doc, you must check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"
The doctor cautiously places his ear to the man's thigh only to hear, "Give me $10! I'm desperate! I need $10!"
"I've never seen or heard anything like this before! How long has this been going on?" the doctor asked.
"That's nothing, Doc. Put your ear to my knee."
The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Please! I really need $5! Just $5! Please! I'm desperate!"
"Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was truly dumbfounded.
"Wait, Doc, that's not all of it. There's more. Just put your ear down on my ankle," the man urged him.
The doctor did as the man said and was amazed to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need $20! Please lend me $20, please! I am really desperate!"
"I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing about it in any of my books," he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books.
"However... I can make a well-educated guess. Based on life and all my previous experiences, I can tell you with some certainty, that your leg seems to be broke in three places."
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2004
- Posts
- 14,027
This new scam is being pulled mainly on older men. What happens is when you stop for a red light a young, pretty, nude woman comes up and pretends to be washing your windshield.
While she is doing this, another person opens your back door and steals anything in the car.
They are very good at this!
They got me 7 times Friday and 5 times Saturday.
I wasn't able to find them Sunday...
While she is doing this, another person opens your back door and steals anything in the car.
They are very good at this!
They got me 7 times Friday and 5 times Saturday.
I wasn't able to find them Sunday...
TNRkitect2b
Sir Brian
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2003
- Posts
- 4,028
AngelicAssassin
Something Wicked
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2001
- Posts
- 10,945
Finally, Someone Cleared This Up!
For centuries, Hindu women have worn a red spot on their foreheads. We have always naively thought that it had something to do with their religion. The true story has recently been revealed by the Indian Embassy in Washington, D.C.
When one of these women gets married, she brings with her a dowry. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the red spot to see if he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, or a motel in the United States.
For centuries, Hindu women have worn a red spot on their foreheads. We have always naively thought that it had something to do with their religion. The true story has recently been revealed by the Indian Embassy in Washington, D.C.
When one of these women gets married, she brings with her a dowry. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the red spot to see if he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, or a motel in the United States.
AngelicAssassin
Something Wicked
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2001
- Posts
- 10,945
Golden Oldie
A young guy from Missouri moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under the roof department store" looking for a job. The manager says " Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says " Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Missouri." Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job.
"You start tomorrow, Il come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down, "How many sales did you make today?"
The kid says "one."
The boss says, "just one?!! Our sales people average 20 to 30 sales a day! How much was the sale for?"
The kid says, "$101,237.64"
The boss says, "$101,23764? WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SELL?"
Kid says, " First I sold him a small fish hook, then I sold him a medium fish hook, then I sold him a larger fish hook, then I sold him a new fishing rod, then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then, he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT AND A TRUCK??"
The kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, 'Well, your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.' "
A young guy from Missouri moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under the roof department store" looking for a job. The manager says " Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says " Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Missouri." Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job.
"You start tomorrow, Il come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down, "How many sales did you make today?"
The kid says "one."
The boss says, "just one?!! Our sales people average 20 to 30 sales a day! How much was the sale for?"
The kid says, "$101,237.64"
The boss says, "$101,23764? WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SELL?"
Kid says, " First I sold him a small fish hook, then I sold him a medium fish hook, then I sold him a larger fish hook, then I sold him a new fishing rod, then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then, he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT AND A TRUCK??"
The kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, 'Well, your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.' "
TNRkitect2b
Sir Brian
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2003
- Posts
- 4,028
Miss Diva said:You are EVIL!!!
Yes. Your point?
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2004
- Posts
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TNRkitect2b said:
Well, chit... I guess all the folks that got in here before I did used up all of the Big Red Button's bandwidth, cuz ya can't get there from here anymore. <Sigh>
