Now accepting resumes and applications to be my fuck buddy

[miles]

Candidates with penises and/or facial hair will not be considered.

 

[Guest]

Candidates with penises and/or facial hair will not be considered.

That's me out.

 

[Problem Child]

Re: Re: Now accepting resumes and applications to be my fuck buddy

That's me out.

Also excuses Frimost, Sinthesyst and Killswitch.

 

[pointless]

Candidates with penises and/or facial hair will not be considered.

i can shave and tuck it back. please???

 

[LAVA GODDESSS]

I never see you on anymore...

sheesh

 

[Butch Welder]

And I was so close...

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

Here ya go Miles, take your pick:

 

[Sandia]

You coulda said the part about the penises up front, dude.

 

[Butch Welder]

Candidates with penises and/or facial hair will not be considered.

You coulda said the part about the penises up front, dude.

What part of the word penis didn't you understand?

Penises = more than one penis

 

[Monazwx]

Re: Re: Re: Now accepting resumes and applications to be my fuck buddy

Also excuses Frimost, Sinthesyst and Killswitch.

Because of the facial hair?

 

[Guest]

You coulda said the part about the penises up front, dude.

Have you been tucking - again?

 

[miles]

Re: Re: Re: Now accepting resumes and applications to be my fuck buddy

Also excuses Frimost, Sinthesyst and Killswitch.

LMAO!

 

[betman33]

Here ya go Miles, take your pick:

ok so who is the female forgive me for not knowing at all been hiding in a bunker of late

 

[miles]

ok so who is the female forgive me for not knowing at all been hiding in a bunker of late

Her name is Bambi Macvinyl.

 

[freakygirl]

ok so who is the female forgive me for not knowing at all been hiding in a bunker of late

psst.. the female pictured above is a doll.

You have been away a long time. Haven't you?

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

Her name is Bambi Macvinyl.

Miles, she does threesomes with her friend Silicone Sally.

 

[SilvaTungDevil]

I think I once dated her cousin Rhonda DeRubber. I didn't make it past 1st base but she was one hell of a kisser.

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

I think I once dated her cousin Rhonda DeRubber. I didn't make it past 1st base but she was one hell of a kisser.

Psst, STD...you already told us this story. Ends up, it was just your grandma with her shower cap and enema bag.

 

[miles]

I think I once dated her cousin Rhonda DeRubber. I didn't make it past 1st base but she was one hell of a kisser.

Dude, you kill me. LMAO

 

[Agent99]

Miles,

I haven't had a penis in a long time. Does that count? If only you'd ease up on the whole facial hair thing.


As your fuck buddy I'd aim to please
I'd bow to your wishes in an ultimate tease

Whatever sex act you wanted - vanilla or kinky
Playing the Pope, I could kiss your pinky

But you have to change your conditions- they're diabolical
Excluding me because of my abundant hair follicle

If you'd rather kiss lips that are free from hair
Head south to the mound slathered with Nair

Oh, it may not be Magic but it smells like lemon
That's what you get with hirsute women

We don't need to talk or have candlelight dinners
Just screw like rabbits and fuck like winners

In lieu of a resume or application
Just picture us in a sexual conflagration

We can hook up if you forget about the hair on my face
We can be fuck buddies between Iraq and a hard place

 

[SilvaTungDevil]

Psst, STD...you already told us this story. Ends up, it was just your grandma with her shower cap and enema bag.

Hey, when I'm constipated I lose all sense of judgement.

 

[freakygirl]

Agent99 just made me spew coca cola on my computer keyboard.

Dammit!

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

Hey, when I'm constipated I lose all sense of judgement.

Hence the enema bag.

 

[miles]

Miles,

I haven't had a penis in a long time. Does that count? If only you'd ease up on the whole facial hair thing.


As your fuck buddy I'd aim to please
I'd bow to your wishes in an ultimate tease

Whatever sex act you wanted - vanilla or kinky
Playing the Pope, I could kiss your pinky

But you have to change your conditions- they're diabolical
Excluding me because of my abundant hair follicle

If you'd rather kiss lips that are free from hair
Head south to the mound slathered with Nair

Oh, it may not be Magic but it smells like lemon
That's what you get with hirsute women

We don't need to talk or have candlelight dinners
Just screw like rabbits and fuck like winners

In lieu of a resume or application
Just picture us in a sexual conflagration

We can hook up if you forget about the hair on my face
We can be fuck buddies between Iraq and a hard place

When can you start?

 

[PinkOrchid]