loveroflove
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2012
- Posts
- 424
but how do you (if you are a complete virgin) figure out if you are bi or just curious? do not get me wrong i love men but some women are kinda cute lol
not so much a how to
- Thread starter loveroflove
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NippleMuncher
Masticatus Nipplicanis
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2003
- Posts
- 4,103
You go to band camp, because there was this one time . . . 
The only way you'll know is to experiment with it. If you have a hankering, find yourself a same sex playmate to see if your feelings are real or fantasy.
Personally I prefer the term multi-sexual than hetero, bi, gay, etc. I believe that we can be "straight" and still enjoy same sex encounters. There is no one "right" way of being, it is whatever makes you happy that you need to follow (consenting adults and all that . . . ).
Good luck on your journey of finding yourself.
The only way you'll know is to experiment with it. If you have a hankering, find yourself a same sex playmate to see if your feelings are real or fantasy.
Personally I prefer the term multi-sexual than hetero, bi, gay, etc. I believe that we can be "straight" and still enjoy same sex encounters. There is no one "right" way of being, it is whatever makes you happy that you need to follow (consenting adults and all that . . . ).
Good luck on your journey of finding yourself.
SweetErika
Fingers Crossed
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2004
- Posts
- 13,442
Think of sexual orientation as a gay-straight spectrum. If you find the same gender sexually attractive--like if the thought of being sexual with another woman doesn't gross you out--then you're not on the extreme "straight" side of the spectrum.
Where you are in that "in between" area is likely something you'll find out with thought, experiences and experimentation. For instance, if you find yourself looking at other women in the same sort of way you look at men you find attractive or you include women in your sexual fantasies, that's a clue. If you become attracted to a female friend or find yourself really "clicking" with another woman on non-platonic levels, then you have another clue. If you kiss or share sexual touching with another woman and enjoy yourself, that'd be a pretty big clue.
I think for a lot of bi women actual F/F sex just confirms what we already knew or suspected along the way. After my first time having sex with another woman (it was something I needed/felt compelled to experience, by the way), I was able to look back and see the feelings, some crushes, thoughts and little experiences that got me to that point and made me identify as bi. But even before the sex, I felt more like "I'm very likely bi, I just haven't had sex with a woman yet." Yes, I was curious about the sexual experience itself, but I knew I wasn't straight in the truest sense of the word.
I will note that sexuality is often very fluid, so especially if you feel you're in that "in between" area of the spectrum to start with, you may very well find you move around at different points in your life. For example, when I was younger, I was much more hetero-oriented, but now I find myself far more attracted to women and F/F relationships than ever.
At any rate, I would suggest NOT worrying about your sexual orientation. It is what it is, so if you have feelings for women and/or want to experiment with them, go for it. If you don't, stick with men. The only time I've found the labels really matter is when I'm looking for a partner.
Where you are in that "in between" area is likely something you'll find out with thought, experiences and experimentation. For instance, if you find yourself looking at other women in the same sort of way you look at men you find attractive or you include women in your sexual fantasies, that's a clue. If you become attracted to a female friend or find yourself really "clicking" with another woman on non-platonic levels, then you have another clue. If you kiss or share sexual touching with another woman and enjoy yourself, that'd be a pretty big clue.
I think for a lot of bi women actual F/F sex just confirms what we already knew or suspected along the way. After my first time having sex with another woman (it was something I needed/felt compelled to experience, by the way), I was able to look back and see the feelings, some crushes, thoughts and little experiences that got me to that point and made me identify as bi. But even before the sex, I felt more like "I'm very likely bi, I just haven't had sex with a woman yet." Yes, I was curious about the sexual experience itself, but I knew I wasn't straight in the truest sense of the word.
I will note that sexuality is often very fluid, so especially if you feel you're in that "in between" area of the spectrum to start with, you may very well find you move around at different points in your life. For example, when I was younger, I was much more hetero-oriented, but now I find myself far more attracted to women and F/F relationships than ever.
At any rate, I would suggest NOT worrying about your sexual orientation. It is what it is, so if you have feelings for women and/or want to experiment with them, go for it. If you don't, stick with men. The only time I've found the labels really matter is when I'm looking for a partner.
Bramblethorn
Sleep-deprived
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2012
- Posts
- 17,856
Yeah, this. Do what makes you happy, and then attach a label to that if you need to. If you change your mind, you can change the label. Don't ever start with the label and let that dictate what you can do.
But if you're experimenting, make sure you're honest with your partners. (Actually, that's always important, but 'experimenting' is one of those areas where people sometimes forget.) Don't make promises you might not be able to keep.
