Not bi? why?

[peterpan]

Question: If you are not bisexual, why does the thought of sleeping with a specific gender not interest you? Or rather than why, how does it feel.

For example, I would be repulsed by sleeping with a man. That statement is a bit ambiguous with all the various definitions of sexuality floating around so I have been thinking more deeply about why.

The reason isn't rational of course. It is just the way I feel. The best I can come up with is a fear of male sweat. Lying next to someone exuding maleness, a scent to announce their dominance. Like being pissed over. I guess also that most male contact is about dominance, eg sport. It seems just one step from the baboon society where the alpha male symbolically mounts the lower males who submit but then go and do likewise to the level beneath them etc.

 

[Juspar Emvan]

I'm not Bi, because I haven't found a man that attracts me. Although I did take particular notice of Usher in a music video a couple of days ago . . .

 

[Rubyfruit]

Well, since I am bisexual, and enjoy both genders fairly equally, I can't really answer your question.

Although, you do seem to be speaking mainly to the men here, to which, frankly, I'll be looking forward to the responses.

I always thought that men's reluctance to be open to same-sex experiences had more to do with societal pressures. However, you do bring up a very good point about ego and dominance.

 

[MechaBlade]

I am a man. I have considered the idea of naked men being sexy. It is not. Although I may be slightly aroused at the site of a hard cock, ready to enter a vagina, I have no desire to touch that cock, or even look at it for very long.

In plain words: I would not want to have sex with a man any more than I would want to fuck a horse. Horses and men just don't do anything for me.

Although, yes, most men are reluctant to even think about the possibility of being gay because of society.

 

[crysede]

I'm not bi, I wish I was though - women are so different from men, I imagine that having one as a lover would be a whole new experience that I'm missing out on. But the thought of being with another woman just doesn't arouse me and women's bodies' don't arouse me. I'm not repulsed by the idea of making love to a woman though, I made out with a lesbian friend once in the hopes that I might discover I was bi - no luck, definitely straight (dammit).

 

[freescorfr]

I couldn't contemplate sex with a man - but I don't think, as Rubyfruit suggests, that it is because of social pressures - I think it is to do with evolutionary biology.

It seems to me perfectly natural that many women find comfort and emotional closeness, physically, with other women. This is nurturing of inner well-being and positive for the care of the family and the children. It does not interfere with a woman's biological role - unless she is exclusively lesbian.

Men, on the other hand, are not doing anything to help their genetic success by screwing other men - biologically it is a cul de sac. We're made to impregante as many women as we can. It's there that societal pressures hold us in check - and women themselves, because it's not good for the family to be dumped without a hunter-gatherer to provide for it.

I'm talking as a neanderthal.

 

[Laurel]

I just don't get the same feelings for women that I do for men. It's certainly not because I have any hangups about being with a woman. I've found myself reacting physically to sensuous female friends...but it's not the same. I don't know why - it just is. Why do I prefer Coke over Pepsi? Why do I not like mushrooms?

 

[AusTess]

I think chicks are really cool.

Great to look at.
I'd rather check out chicks than blokes.



I just dont fancy wrapping my mouth around labia.
majora OR minora.


I like cock,plain and fucking simple.

That aint to say i wouldn't be averse to a cunt while being fed cock.

So i guess i am bi.
Just a virginal bisexual.

 

[Bindii]

I can look at an attractive woman and appreciate the beauty of her form, just not in a sexual way. It does nothing for me.

Now the male body is another cup of tea......

 

[AusTess]

Why do I not like mushrooms?

Last time i ate mushrooms?




I seen purple elephants flying.
And Marilyn Monroe dancing with John Travolta to Stayin Alive.

Weird shit man.

 

[peterpan]

Although, you do seem to be speaking mainly to the men here,

That impression is not intended. I am interested in what a straight female thinks about women, but also what a gay male thinks about women etc.

I am not so interested in reasons as feelings. Most of the responses seem to be simply that it does nothing for you, rather than aversion.

 

[Bindii]

Most of the responses seem to be simply that it does nothing for you, rather than aversion.

Your right, for me there is no aversion. I have gay, bi and straight friends. I am just as comfortable seeing affection between same sex couples as opposite sex couples.

 

[lovetoread]

I think for me,the reason I am not bi is the fact that I dont want to touch another woman. I feel no pleasure at the thought of doing it.

I can see a woman and notice that she is beautiful. I can get turned on by watching her doing a sexual act,but no thoughts of actually having sex with a female ever goes through my mind.

 

[sexy-girl]

im not bi because i hate men and i want to kill them all if they even attempt to talk to me ... was that what you was looking for ?


by the way im j/k ... although im a lesbian i dont hate men (i have male friends) i just dont wish to have sexual contact with them ... im not attracted to men at all ... and there is a slight repulsion element i would say too


i dont think everyone is bi inside and just restricted by social or other elements i think people have a kind of dial that is between gay - bi - straight

 

[Mister Ryder]

I'm straight but not repulsed by men, the thought of having sexual contact with another man is not something I have ever wanted to do.

Apart from a few teenage fantasy's but thats another story.

 

[Zamdrist]

Interesting

This thread is an interesting read...

I'm not bi myself though I've had thoughts in that direction from tme to time. When I was much younger I had two homosexual experiences, which I'm sure was just exploration as a young, ignorant child.

I think bi women absolutely rock, and I hope my next love is bi, at least that's what I'm 'holding out' for.

Is that shallow?

 

[Cheyenne]

I'm straight and can't give a logical reason for why I'm not bi, either. Emotions aren't logical. I'm attracted to men, not to women. That's just the way I'm made.

There is an element of being repulsed for me in some of the lesbian pics. Pictures of women kissing seem to have that effect, maybe because I see kissing as more of an emotional act?

 

[kotori]

I had a dream a couple of weeks back about Ian McKellan and me, but then he showed up at the Oscars with that pretty-boy, and they were all touchy-feely. . . so now I'm pissed.

I haven't had any intimate physical contact with another guy since college (25+ years), and not only doesn't the thought offend me, but I find it exciting. But it's just in the fantasy realm: see on the other hand (damn that other hand), I'm in a long-term monogamous relationship with my wife--so not much room for any third-party, regardless of their gender.

 

[bored1]

As a young boy I was molested by older males for several years,I was sexualized at an early age but oriented at another,The orientation was towards women. From my perspective I understand male sex is just that. sex. No emotion, no tenderness. So I can understand two guys having sex but cannot understand two guys slipping each other the tounge,The whole idea of that is repulsive to me. I am straight,I have no desire to have sex with men nor do I find men phyiscally attractive. To me being bi is a choice as if I wanted to do it I could choose to do so,I choose not to do it

 

[tswyk]

I life a straight life, but....I have had one sexual experience with a woman - and it was absolutely incredible.

Why only one? I'm not sure. I'm not adverse to it - it just hasn't happened. I have lesbian friends, one who even said she was in love with me - but I was not physically attracted to her. If I met a woman who I did find attractive and it move beyond friendship - I'd be ok with that.

I guess I'm open to it - but it's not just about sex - I'd have to be interested in the person too. And that just hasn't happened again...yet.

 

[DopeyAngel]

Interesting thread peter - makes a person think!
I can feel attracted to a woman, I can appreciate her beauty as well as her mind and I am physically close to many of my friends (i.e. we don't mind being completely naked in front of each other, hugging, holding hands etc).
I wish I could have a relationship with a woman; I get on better with women than I do with men, but (although it's not a huge part) the thought of having a sexual relationship with a woman simply doesn't occur to me, there is a small element of repulsion about it (personally). I have no problem with any of my gay friends, and they talk openly about their sex lives which I don't mind, but the thought of doing it myself doesn't appeal at all, even just kissing.
The emotions and attractions I have for a man simply aren't there for a woman. It's quite sad because I like the idea of being bi but in reality it's completely different.

 

[scentlvr]

I don't consider myself bi-sexual, but have had a few sexual experiences with men (not for a while, dammit!) which were very hot, and which I use often as j/o fodder. Why were they hot?-'cause they were nasty! It was nasty to do, it was taboo (which was why it was fun!) it was a novelty,it was PURE SEX.(The point was to make eachother feel good and get off-nothing else) Someone mentioned sweat...I actually got turned on by the smell of the guys pubes and balls(and I get turned on by the smell of my own scent ,too). And I enjoyed being dominated for a change.
But here is where it gets weird: I am repulsed by the thought of kissing another man and with sleeping naked with another guy- but I'll suck his dick! Explain that! And I'm not attracted to gay men AT ALL! Also, I constantly check out chicks in public-never has occured to me to check out another guy. But let me be honest- I let my body decide. If it makes me horny- I'll have sex with it!

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Like most of the others who've responded, I can't say that I'm repulsed by the idea of having sex with another man. It's just that the thought never really enters my mind. I never look at other men in a sexual way at all. I look at women in a sexual way all the fucking time, but never a man.

I've sometimes wondered what it would be like to suck another man's cock, but it's always been in a detached sort of curious way, rather than thinking what it would be like to suck this or that specific person's cock, if that makes any sense. Hell, if the opportunity ever presented itself and I was in one of those curious moods, I might even do it, or let another man do it to me. But I ain't gonna go looking for it--not when there are so many women around.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Considering I'm bi, I can't really answer your question, but I CAN give you an idea of how I felt before I realized that I WAS bi, and that it was okay to be so.

I've always loved looking at women's bodies, but because I was raised in a VERY Catholic family, I thought nothing of it. I was raised to believe that such things were unnatural and that it was a sin, and so I believed that I was straight and would never be anything else. In senior year of high school I started to stare more and more at women's bodies, and it was a fascination with how smooth the skin was, how round the curves were.. and I thought that a woman's body was more beautiful than a man's... it started with a simple appreciation for the curves, the lines, etc. And then I got curious. And then I tried it. And then I realised that this is what I'd been missing for so many years.. I felt so natural in the arms of my female lovers.

I think that, for the most part, men are less likely to be bi because of societal pressures (like someone before me mentioned), and because men being with men isn't considered 'manly'. Also, because women's bodies are smooth and rounded, they are far more attractive than men's bodies (right now, I'm speaking from an artistic point of view), so men may be more attracted to them for that. And finally... PROCREATION. It is built into every human being the need to further the species. Some people have it more strongly than others, and those people tend to be men. History shows that men need to leave a legacy. So they are attracted to women who can produce heirs. Women, on the other hand, after centuries of being baby-machines, may have less of the reproductive urge than men, and may seek alternatives to sex because of this.

Just my first-thing-in-the-morning hypothesis.

Vix

 

[Weevil]

I'll tell you why. I've got no interest in that free ticket to hell that Date Rape was talking about.