Not 1 but 2 Threads Tonight

[PacificBlue]

On the subject of "fat" or "chubby" chicks.

Time for bed before my mouth gets me into trouble and I say something I'm going to regret later on.

 

[april-wine]

Never regret PB........Never regret........

 

[PacificBlue]

The sad thing is I'm just aching to say something to.

Night April-Wine {{{{{{{{Big Hugs}}}}}}}}}

 

[Laurel]

Say it, PB. Let it all out. You'll feel better if you do, really. '

 

[Mensa]

Go for it

The sad thing is I'm just aching to say something to.

Night April-Wine {{{{{{{{Big Hugs}}}}}}}}}

That's what the GB is for!

 

[modest mouse]

Lame.

Speak up or dont.

 

[april-wine]

The sad thing is I'm just aching to say something to.

Night April-Wine {{{{{{{{Big Hugs}}}}}}}}}

hugs PB......good night honey

 

[PacificBlue]

Hmm...

Speaking Up...

There are some beautiful women in Marxist's thread. I've read Emme's book, I have respect for her. I think she's beautiful. I'm sad that she has to be grouped into being "plus-size." I don't think Emme is chubby or fat. Emme is very tall, she will never ever be a waif like woman no matter how much she diets. Could the thread have been titled..."Beautiful Women on T.V....I'd like to..." and move on? Possibly. It wasn't my thread and this board is about free speech.

Nasty's thread makes it sound like "chubby" or "fat" girls are the ones to be picked last. I'm trying to take a step back and get some perspective on what Nasty was really getting at. It's not working well. Ok...I'll take you because none of the "beautiful" women will have me??? Surely that was not the intended meaning.

I honestly cannot remember ever reading a thread on here with a title about balding men, short men, or even larger than average men. Why is it that larger women are free targets? Yes, everyone likes different things, I can accept that. However, for some reason it just seems easier to speak dislike about overweight women. Why is that?

 

[modest mouse]

See, much better to speak up than to say you want to but hold back.

You make several valid points and are the better for exposing them.

 

[horny_giraffe]

... Nasty's thread makes it sound like "chubby" or "fat" girls are the ones to be picked last. I'm trying to take a step back and get some perspective on what Nasty was really getting at. It's not working well. Ok...I'll take you because none of the "beautiful" women will have me??? Surely that was not the intended meaning.

I honestly cannot remember ever reading a thread on here with a title about balding men, short men, or even larger than average men. Why is it that larger women are free targets? Yes, everyone likes different things, I can accept that. However, for some reason it just seems easier to speak dislike about overweight women. Why is that?

Personally, I have been told that I am very good looking. Assuming some degree of flattery, I can probably guess that I am of passable appearance. But honestly, most women I know don't seem to give a shit about my looks except in a peripheral way. Seeing as the women I know don't give a shit about my looks, why would they bother negatively targeting me or any man for their appearance, if they know that I don't think it matters--even to them?

On the other hand, my relatively small wallet and laid-back lifestyle seem to generate more pressure and criticism. I feel a definite push to be more ambitious and to make more money, "to make something of myself." I am much more sensitive about this issue. I probably has something to do with confidence, as well.

At this point, I am living my own life and I stay single. I do what I want.

The real question, as I see it, is whether or not anyone should "settle" for a certain mate. If I was God's gift to the women, perhaps I could aim for a good-looking celebrity or Nobel-prize-winning scientist. But eventually, I know that I may end up with someone who is not those things, because I am not God's gift to women. Ideally, the circumstances will allow me to "fall in love" with someone who will have me.

Even a dirty, ugly, poor man can be picky about who he wants to hang out with, but he may soon find himself lonely. So he may settle for hanging out with other people like himself. On the other hand, he may clean up his act. Heck, I may gain some ambition yet, myself.

 

[MissTaken]

The real question, as I see it, is whether or not anyone should "settle" for a certain mate.

No, the "real" question is not what our personal preferences are and whether one should "settle". The "real" question concerns consideration in terms of how one voices their preferences.

Be "picky", if you like. We all are to some extent.

But, don't be rude!

Thank you, blue. I needed to get that off my chest where it has sweltered since this morning.

 

[Marxist]

Hmm...

Speaking Up...

There are some beautiful women in Marxist's thread. I've read Emme's book, I have respect for her. I think she's beautiful. I'm sad that she has to be grouped into being "plus-size." I don't think Emme is chubby or fat. Emme is very tall, she will never ever be a waif like woman no matter how much she diets. Could the thread have been titled..."Beautiful Women on T.V....I'd like to..." and move on? Possibly. It wasn't my thread and this board is about free speech.

To respond:

I titled it "chubby chicks..." because it fit with my humorous casual tone. For the record, I've never to my knowledge told a woman in RL that I want to "lay pipe" either. I didn't call it "Beautiful..." because someone would jump in with some pix of a waif and I think we've seen enough of that here and everywhere else on the web.

"Chubby" is not derisive, only your perception of it is. Look at how you try to make Emme out to be something other than what she is. True, she's tall, but I'll be damned if she's not chubby too. You do know that they still digitally slim her down in print, don't you? Compare any of her posed glamour photos versus real-life stills or on "E" television. There's at least 20 pounds difference. But who really cares? I know I don't, do you?

 

[horny_giraffe]

..."Chubby" is not derisive, only your perception of it is. Look at how you try to make Emme out to be something other than what she is. True, she's tall, but I'll be damned if she's not chubby too. You do know that they still digitally slim her down in print, don't you? Compare any of her posed glamour photos versus real-life stills or on "E" television. There's at least 20 pounds difference. But who really cares? I know I don't, do you? [/QUOTE]

It seems to me that some women seem to have the perception that guys can't or won't find chubby women attractive. It's as if the terms chubby and beautiful are mutually exclusive.

It's like when my girlfriend would ask "Am I fat?" and I would say "yes, you are attractive to me" and she wouldn't believe me! Fuck! I guess I'm just supposed to lie and tell her that she not fat, because fat=unattractive in her mind.

It's like those minority groups that change seem to change their name every decade or so, because of bad associations. Personally, I don't give a crap. I'll call someone gay or African-American or whatever it is that he or she wants to be called. Did you ever notice that majority groups don't seem to care what they are called?

Would those of you who are offended prefer a new word for fat women? Perhaps we should call them "rubenesque" as was the fashion in the personal ads. Or perhaps we could call them the more generic term "big"--even though this can be potentially misleading when describing a woman who is only five-foot tall.
There's some porn term...Big but beautiful? BBF? We could all use that term. I don't care.

Perhaps the problem is in claiming the identity at all. Do you think of yourself as a "fat" person? Do you feel the need to defend "Fat People" because you are one of "them?"

On one last note, I vaguely remember a quote from Gloria Steinem to the effect that "men confuse what they like in men with what they think women like in men" vis-a-vis bodybuilding, for example--when in actuality, many women do not prefer excessive muscle. I think that skinniness is a similar issue with some women. Most men that I know do not prefer a skinny woman. In fact, most men that I know seem to prefer a Marylin Monroe or Jane Mansfield type from the fifties with a little extra bounce, on average.