Non-Sadistic Dominants?

[76waystokiss]

Hi, all...

I need some advice/information/opinions, if you'd be willing to oblige *insert fetching smile here*...

I'm a submissive masochist.

My partner is a Non-Sadistic Dominant.

As I've never had a partner that wasn't at least *slightly* sadistic and my partner is entirely new to the whole BDSM scene full stop... help. Please.

I know we're compatible and there will be pitfalls (for example, when I need the release of pain, etc.) but how do you all deal with something like this?

If you're a Non-Sadistic Dominant or masochistic submissive (of any gender/orientation) I'd love to hear from you, especially, even if you've no experience of the other side of the relationship I describe. I'd love the insight!

Cheers! xx

 

[LallyH]

Hi, all...

I need some advice/information/opinions, if you'd be willing to oblige *insert fetching smile here*...

I'm a submissive masochist.

My partner is a Non-Sadistic Dominant.

As I've never had a partner that wasn't at least *slightly* sadistic and my partner is entirely new to the whole BDSM scene full stop... help. Please.

I know we're compatible and there will be pitfalls (for example, when I need the release of pain, etc.) but how do you all deal with something like this?

If you're a Non-Sadistic Dominant or masochistic submissive (of any gender/orientation) I'd love to hear from you, especially, even if you've no experience of the other side of the relationship I describe. I'd love the insight!

Cheers! xx

Hi there.

I've noticed you've not had any help here, and I'm not going to be much use either (masochistic sub, in case you're wondering).

To be honest I don't really understand the question? I'm curious as to what techniques this guy uses as his domination tools. Are you saying you would like to persuade him over to the fun dark side, or that you are content to leave him where he is but to find a non-conflicting source of pain for yourself?

If you could clarify, then I'm sure there will be people who can help you?

 

[Tigerdrew73]

I am a Dom and don't think of myself as sadistic. I don't get turned on simply by the infliction of pain, what turns me on is my subs reaction to said pain. My sub loves being spanked on her ass, inner thighs, tits and pussy, and I do this as much for her pleasure as mine. My domination comes from denying her these or other pleasures. Having said that we have an unusual relationship, I think.

 

[LallyH]

I am a Dom and don't think of myself as sadistic. I don't get turned on simply by the infliction of pain, what turns me on is my subs reaction to said pain. My sub loves being spanked on her ass, inner thighs, tits and pussy, and I do this as much for her pleasure as mine. My domination comes from denying her these or other pleasures. Having said that we have an unusual relationship, I think.

I think we're back on the definition of sadistic which I started another thread about - it means different things to different people. That's why I think we need clarification from OP about what her concerns are in her situation.

 

[CBM514]

Hi, all...

I need some advice/information/opinions, if you'd be willing to oblige *insert fetching smile here*...

I'm a submissive masochist.

My partner is a Non-Sadistic Dominant.

As I've never had a partner that wasn't at least *slightly* sadistic and my partner is entirely new to the whole BDSM scene full stop... help. Please.

I know we're compatible and there will be pitfalls (for example, when I need the release of pain, etc.) but how do you all deal with something like this?

If you're a Non-Sadistic Dominant or masochistic submissive (of any gender/orientation) I'd love to hear from you, especially, even if you've no experience of the other side of the relationship I describe. I'd love the insight!

Cheers! xx

While I get that not every Dom has to cause pain, etc. to be dominant, it sounds like you want/enjoy that and they either don't or can't deliver it?

 

[VladHarkonnen]

Im a switch and when I do dom my "sadism" isn't really about pain. Teasing, anticipation, tickling...that's where its at for me. I absolutely love seeing them squirm. If I inflict pain it doesn't go beyond light symbolic wacks on the ass with my open hand or maybe a crop. Enough to leave a mark maybe or redden that ass but nothing beyond that. Incidentally, that's about my limit as a sub as well.

 

[Stella_Omega]

. I assume you have other reasons to be with this person, but most people I know make arrangements for their SM needs outside of their primary partner if that person can't help them.

Something about BDSM engenders a certain amount of pragmatism...

 

[SirVPL]

Hi, all...

I need some advice/information/opinions, if you'd be willing to oblige *insert fetching smile here*...

I'm a submissive masochist.

My partner is a Non-Sadistic Dominant.

As I've never had a partner that wasn't at least *slightly* sadistic and my partner is entirely new to the whole BDSM scene full stop... help. Please.

I know we're compatible and there will be pitfalls (for example, when I need the release of pain, etc.) but how do you all deal with something like this?

If you're a Non-Sadistic Dominant or masochistic submissive (of any gender/orientation) I'd love to hear from you, especially, even if you've no experience of the other side of the relationship I describe. I'd love the insight!

Cheers! xx

Sit him down and explain. Hold his hand and tell him that it is pain that gives u satifaction. If he knows your safe word you will tell him when enough is enough. If he is uncomfortable giving it to u. Apply your own. Apply breast clamps or labia clamps during your sessions. Show him be applying your own pain what it will do for u. Lol also show him what ur pain will do for him as well. He is still vanilla, b patient with him. Love endures all things.

 

[luvnmyboys]

Will he try anything to help get your pain release, even just a little spanking? If he sees you enjoy it, maybe he would open up to trying more.