No Topic

[Lauren Hynde]

Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
Part VI B: The Meaning of Life

MAÎTRE D:
M-hm-hmm. You know, Maria, I sometimes wonder if we'll ever discover the meaning of it all working in a place like this.

MARIA:
Oh, I've worked in worse places, philosophically speaking.

MAÎTRE D:
Really, Maria?

MARIA:
Yes. I used to work in the Académie Française, but it didn't do me any good at all,
A-- and I once worked in the library in the Prado in Madrid, but it didn't teach me nothing, I recall,

And the Library of Congress you'd have thought would hold some key,
But it didn't, and neither did the Bodleian Library.

In the British Museum I hoped to find some clue.
I worked there from nine till six, read every volume through,

But it didn't teach me nothing about life's mystery.
I just kept getting older, and it got more difficult to see,

Till, eventually, me eyes went and me arthritis got bad,
And so now I'm cleaning up in here, but I can't be really sad,

'Cause, you see, I feel that life's a game. You sometimes win or lose,
And though I may be down right now, at least I don't work for Jews.

MAÎTRE D:
[choking]
[clunk]
I'm so sorry. I-- I had no idea we had a-- a racist working here. I-- I-- I-- I apologise most sincerely.
http://arago4.tn.utwente.nl/stonedead/movies/meaning-of-life/thumbnails/13-sorry.jpg
I mean, well, w-- W-- where are you going? Know what? I can explain, uh,-- Ehh, quel dommage.

GASTON:
As for me, huh, if you want to know what I think, [sniff] I'll show you something. Come with me.

MAÎTRE D:
Ah! I was saying that-- Uh, allo?

GASTON:
Come on.

MAÎTRE D:
Ah, allo? Allo?

GASTON:
This way. Come on. Don't be shy. Mind the stairs, all right? I think this will help explain. Come along. Come along. Over here.
http://arago4.tn.utwente.nl/stonedead/movies/meaning-of-life/thumbnails/13-follow-me.jpg
Come on. Come on.
[screeeech]
[beeeeeep]
This way.
[beeeep]
[honk]
[screeech]
http://arago4.tn.utwente.nl/stonedead/movies/meaning-of-life/thumbnails/13-this-way.jpg
Come on. This way. Stay by me, uh?
[music]
Nearly there, now. You see that? That's where I was born.
http://arago4.tn.utwente.nl/stonedead/movies/meaning-of-life/thumbnails/13-gaston.jpg
You know, one day, my-- my mother, she put me on her knee and she said to me, 'Gaston, my son, the world is a beautiful place. You must go into it and... love everyone, try to make everyone happy, and bring peace and contentment everywhere you go,' and so, I became a waiter. Well, it's-- it's not much of a philosophy, I know,... but, well,... fuck you. I can live my own life in my own way if I want to. Fuck off.

VOICE:
[cough cough]

GASTON:
Don't come following me!

 

[Guest]

love love love that movie.. best part.. cant remember the mamouth man..

"ill have everything on the menu, bring it in a bucket"

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I shouldn't have asked.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

love love love that movie.. best part.. cant remember the mamouth man..

"ill have everything on the menu, bring it in a bucket"

Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
Part VI: The Autumn Years

[piano music]
NOËL COWARD:
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Here's a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean.

[singing]
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy.
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.

Oh, thank you very much.

RANDOM:
Beautiful!
[applause]

MAX:
Oh, what a frightfully witty song.

MAX'S WIFE:
Terribly clever.

GUEST #1:
Jolly good.

GUEST #1'S WIFE:
Marvellous.

[suspenseful music]

FISH #5:
Oh, shit! It's Mr. Creosote.
http://arago4.tn.utwente.nl/stonedead/movies/meaning-of-life/thumbnails/12-fish.jpg

MAÎTRE D:
Ah, good afternoon, sir, and how are we today?

MR. CREOSOTE:
Better.

MAÎTRE D:
Better?

MR. CREOSOTE:
Better get a bucket. I'm going to throw up.

MAÎTRE D:
Uh, Gaston! A bucket for monsieur. There you are, monsieur.

[snap]
[goosh]
Merci, Gaston.

MR. CREOSOTE:
I haven't finished.

MAÎTRE D:
Oh! Pardon. Gaston! A thousand pardons, monsieur.

MR. CREOSOTE:
Uhh.
[goosh]

MAÎTRE D:
Now, zis afternoon, we have monsieur's favourite: ze jugged hare. Ze hare is very high, and ze sauce is very rich with truffles, anchovies, Grand Marnier, bacon, and cream. Thank you, Gaston.

MR. CREOSOTE:
There's still more.

MAÎTRE D:
Oh! Allow me. A new bucket for monsieur,...
[goosh]
...and ze cleaning woman,... and maintenant. Would monsieur care for an apéritif, or would he prefer to order straight away?
[goosh]

MR. CREOSOTE:
Oh.

MAÎTRE D:
Uh, today we have, uh, for appetizers: Excuse me. Mhmm. Uh, moules marinières, pâté de foie gras, beluga caviar, eggs Benedictine, tart de poireaux-- that's leek tart,-- frogs' legs amandine, or oeufs de caille Richard Shepherd-- c'est à dire, little quails' eggs on a bed of puréed mushroom. It's very delicate. Very subtle.

MR. CREOSOTE:
I'll have the lot.

MAÎTRE D:
A wise choice, monsieur. And now, how would you like it served? All, uh, mixed up togezer in a bucket?

MR. CREOSOTE:
Yeah,... with the eggs on top.

MAÎTRE D:
But of course, avec les oeufs frites.

MR. CREOSOTE:
Yeah, and don't skimp on the pâté.

MAÎTRE D:
Oh, monsieur, I assure you, just because it is mixed up wis all ze other things, we would not dream of giving you less than ze full amount. In fact, I will personally make sure you have a double helping. Maintenant quelque chose à boire. Something to drink, monsieur?

MR. CREOSOTE:
Yeah, I'll have six bottles of Château Latour Forty-five...

MAÎTRE D:
Forty-five.

MR. CREOSOTE:
...and a double Jeroboam of champagne.

MAÎTRE D:
Bon, and the usual brown ales?

MR. CREOSOTE:
Yeah. No, wait a minute. I think I can only manage six crates today.

MAÎTRE D:
[tut tut tut tut] I hope monsieur was not overdoing it last night.

MR. CREOSOTE:
Shut up!
MAÎTRE D:
D'accord. Ah! Ze new bucket and ze cleaning woman.
[goosh]
http://arago4.tn.utwente.nl/stonedead/movies/meaning-of-life/thumbnails/12-cleaning-woman.jpg
[goosh]
[goosh]
[goosh]
Monsieur, is there something wrong with the food?

GUEST #4:
No, the food was excellent.

MAÎTRE D:
Perhaps you're not... happy with the service?

GUEST #4:
No, no. No complaints.

GUEST #4'S WIFE:
It's just that we have to go. I'm having rather a heavy period.

GUEST #3:
Hmm.

GUEST #3'S WIFE:
Mm mm.

GUEST #4:
And... we... have... a... train to catch.

MAÎTRE D:
Ah.

GUEST #4'S WIFE:
Oh. Yes. Yes, of course. We have a train to catch, and I don't want to start bleeding all over the seats. Ha, hm hm hm.

MAÎTRE D:
Madam?

GUEST #4:
Perhaps we should be going.

GUEST #4'S WIFE:
Oh.

MAÎTRE D:
Oh! Very well, monsieur. Thank you so much. So nice to see you, and I hope very much we will see you again very soon. Au revoir, monsieur.
[clunk]
Oh, dear. I have trodden in monsieur's bucket.

GUESTS:
[mumbling]
[slurp]

MAÎTRE D:
Another bucket for monsieur,...
[goosh]
...and perhaps a hose. M-hm.

MAX:
[retch]

MAX'S WIFE:
Oh, Max. Really!

GUEST #2:
[hiccup]

MR. CREOSOTE:
[groaning]

MAÎTRE D:
And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint.

MR. CREOSOTE:
Nah.

MAÎTRE D:
Oh, sir, it's only a tiny, little, thin one.

MR. CREOSOTE:
No. Fuck off. I'm full.

MAÎTRE D:
Oh, sir. Hmm?

MR. CREOSOTE:
[groan]

MAÎTRE D:
It's only wafer thin.

MR. CREOSOTE:
Look. I couldn't eat another thing. I'm absolutely stuffed. Bugger off.

MAÎTRE D:
Oh, sir, just-- just one.

MR. CREOSOTE:
[groaning] All right. Just one.

MAÎTRE D:
Just the one, monsieur. Voilà.

MR. CREOSOTE:
[groaning]

MAÎTRE D:
Bon appétit.

MR. CREOSOTE:
[groaning]
[suspenseful music]
http://arago4.tn.utwente.nl/stonedead/movies/meaning-of-life/thumbnails/12-getting-big.jpg
[music stops]
http://arago4.tn.utwente.nl/stonedead/movies/meaning-of-life/thumbnails/12-hiding.jpg
http://arago4.tn.utwente.nl/stonedead/movies/meaning-of-life/thumbnails/12-getting-bigger.jpg
[crash]
http://arago4.tn.utwente.nl/stonedead/movies/meaning-of-life/thumbnails/12-about-to-explode.jpg
[BOOM]
http://arago4.tn.utwente.nl/stonedead/movies/meaning-of-life/thumbnails/12-boom.jpg
[goosh]
[goosh]
http://arago4.tn.utwente.nl/stonedead/movies/meaning-of-life/thumbnails/12-goosh.jpg
[mayhem]
http://arago4.tn.utwente.nl/stonedead/movies/meaning-of-life/thumbnails/12-remains.jpg
MAÎTRE D:
Thank you, sir, and now, here's ze check.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Lauren needs a hobby.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Lauren needs a hobby.

I'm trying to write, but I'm stuck.

 

[Guest]

now thats comedic genius. i always mess up the lines..

but i say the wafer thin mint line to my mom after shes eaten..

**sorry mom.. i dont mean.. erm.. nevermind...**

 

[Lauren Hynde]

now thats comedic genius. i always mess up the lines..

but i say the wafer thin mint line to my mom after shes eaten..

**sorry mom.. i dont mean.. erm.. nevermind...**

Tell me you say it with a French accent too.

 

[Guest]

Tell me you say it with a French accent too.

a very sad and pathetic french accent, yes.. special emphasis on
waffer

tell me something.. how does one write a french stereo typical laugh...
huh, huh, huh.. just doesnt cut it.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

MAÎTRE D:
It's only wafer thin.

 

[Guest]

MAÎTRE D:
It's only wafer thin.

nearly the funniest thing in the entire movie..
except the live organ transplant..
or..
the protestant talking about his penis..
or..
the "head"master teaching sex to the kids..

oh hell.. the whole thing was a blast!

 

[Lauren Hynde]

oh hell.. the whole thing was a blast!

I agree.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Did that help with your writing block lovely?

 

[RebeccaLeah]

back to the begining

back to the original idea of this thread...my own completely off topic comment.

ahmm *clearing throat*

Never buy underwear with sequins. They don't wash well and they end up sticking out in weird directions and scratching sensitive skin.

 

[Guest]

Re: back to the begining

back to the original idea of this thread...my own completely off topic comment.

ahmm *clearing throat*

Never buy underwear with sequins. They don't wash well and they end up sticking out in weird directions and scratching sensitive skin.

but.. they are awesome to watch when you swing around that pole you dance with..
advice: dry clean.

 

[Honey123]

Re: back to the begining

back to the original idea of this thread...my own completely off topic comment.

ahmm *clearing throat*

Never buy underwear with sequins. They don't wash well and they end up sticking out in weird directions and scratching sensitive skin.

You are right...I used to call my black satin sequined ones my go-go dancer g-string...and it got ruined in the wash!!!! So sad...I loved them!

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: back to the begining

You are right...I used to call my black satin sequined ones my go-go dancer g-string...and it got ruined in the wash!!!! So sad...I loved them!

honey.. you sexy bitch.. *grin*.. love that new av

 

[Honey123]

Re: Re: Re: back to the begining

honey.. you sexy bitch.. *grin*.. love that new av

Thanks, babe...Matriarch said she doubted I had an ass....I hope this will show her!!!

(Although, I think it was her way of getting me to show it!! )

Plus, there was one other person I wanted to show it to....hope he enjoys it!!

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Re: back to the begining

Thanks, babe...Matriarch said she doubted I had an ass....I hope this will show her!!!

(Although, I think it was her way of getting me to show it!! )

Plus, there was one other person I wanted to show it to....hope he enjoys it!!

:blink:

well i knew you had an ass.. otherwise sitting would be close to impossible.
gee i wonder who that other person is.. hrm.. *grin*
the most important thing is if you like your av sweets.. gorgeous woman.. but i think you know that.

 

[Remec]

Re: Re: Re: Re: back to the begining

Thanks, babe...Matriarch said she doubted I had an ass....I hope this will show her!!!

(Although, I think it was her way of getting me to show it!! )

Plus, there was one other person I wanted to show it to....hope he enjoys it!!

How could anyone in their right ming *not* enjoy it? Well, maybe if they're almost blind and are using one of those hi-tech voice manipulated keyboards to type and surf websites with...but, I just say, makes for less people to have to share the view with...<BG><wink>

 

[doormouse]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: back to the begining

How could anyone in their right ming *not* enjoy it? Well, maybe if they're almost blind and are using one of those hi-tech voice manipulated keyboards to type and surf websites with...but, I just say, makes for less people to have to share the view with...<BG><wink>

Remec,

If you really look like your AV,,, I have a ticket and i'm in line baby

 

[Remec]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: back to the begining

Remec,

If you really look like your AV,,, I have a ticket and i'm in line baby

<smile>
Well, I did pick it 'cause it was similar...although, I usually have at least a moustache if not full-blown beard these days. And my hair has less of that windswept look since I got it cut a few months ago...

So...whacha in line for? Come over and get to know me...oops...I'm on my way out soon...well, *start* to get to know me hehehe

<BG><wink>

 

[ferociouskittycat]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: back to the begining

<smile>
Well, I did pick it 'cause it was similar...although, I usually have at least a moustache if not full-blown beard these days. And my hair has less of that windswept look since I got it cut a few months ago...

So...whacha in line for? Come over and get to know me...oops...I'm on my way out soon...well, *start* to get to know me hehehe

<BG><wink>

She's gone now Remec... you're stuck with me

Fuck I love having two nicks on here lol

 

[RebeccaLeah]

Re: Re: back to the begining

but.. they are awesome to watch when you swing around that pole you dance with..
advice: dry clean.

I think dry cleaning them would cost more than buying a new pair. Besides I got a bunch of new ones that don't have sequins. *sigh* they aren't quite as cute, but I like the ones with the little rose on the back and the playboy bunny on the front, they say "feeling playful" .

Oh, and I'm sadly out of pole-dancing-practice. There aren't any around so I haven't been able to come up with new moves .

Then again I'd be happy to practice my lap dancing. Want one?

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: back to the begining

I think dry cleaning them would cost more than buying a new pair. Besides I got a bunch of new ones that don't have sequins. *sigh* they aren't quite as cute, but I like the ones with the little rose on the back and the playboy bunny on the front, they say "feeling playful" .

Oh, and I'm sadly out of pole-dancing-practice. There aren't any around so I haven't been able to come up with new moves .

Then again I'd be happy to practice my lap dancing. Want one?

bears/woods... birds/fly... sun rise/east...

aka

HELL YEAH!