"Night Night"

[Raindear816]

Art said it was okay to post this..so I am

[color=royal blue]
A college professor

A college professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated he was going to prove there was no God.
[/color]
Addressing the ceiling he shouted:
"God, if you are real, then
I want you to knock me off this platform.
I'll give you 15 minutes!"

The lecture room fell silent. You could have heard a pin drop.

Ten minutes went by.
Again he taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God. I'm still waiting."

His count-down got down to the last couple of minutes when a Marine - just released from active duty and newly registered in the class - walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him tumbling from his lofty platform.

The professor was out cold!

At first, the students were shocked and babbled in confusion. The young Marine took a seat in the front row and sat silent. The class fell silent...waiting.

Eventually, the professor came to, shaken. He looked at the young Marine in the front row.
[color=orange-red]
When the professor regained his senses and could speak, he asked, "What's the matter with you? Why did you do that?"[/color]


"God was busy. He sent me."

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Mon Nite~

Once again its Night Night time again,
curl up in bed and let me read ya a tale,
sits next to ya and opens my book of tales
"Ready?"..."How was your day?"

A day in the life of Art!
as always I try to take something that
has happened in my day and learn from it...
If we open our hearts and our minds everything
is a lesson...well today was no exception...I
had a visitor to the river this week and as
anybody would you have to do laundry, well
I have benn missing clothespins for awhile
so we went to the store on one of our trips
to the movie store and bought a bag of clothespins
well first time we used them they disappeared.
No problem we had plenty more...well did laundry
again and found the clothes on the ground when
we got back from town another day and no
clothespins...well this was a mystery and I love a
good game of detective..."clue" well any way...I set
out to solve the case of the missing clothespins
today and found it very funny to find the crows
sitting on the clothesline....now why would they
want clothespins I asked my self, well the answer
was lying all over the yard...the wooden parts
were scattered around but these crows liked the
shinny metal that reflected brightly from the springs
in the clothepins and they were stealing the metal
out of them by slapping them around in their beaks
till they come apart and took off with the shinny
metal part....the thiefs of the missing clothespins..
I wrote a poem about it in "Chasin Chickens"...lol

"Ok Ready for a joke?"

A young couple went to the doctor for their
annual physical exams. Afterwards, the
doctor called the young man into his office
and told him that he had some good news
and some bad news. "The good news,"
he explained, "is that your fiancée has an
particular strain of gonorrhea that I have
only heard of once before." The guy paled.
"If that's the good news, then what the hell
is the bad news?" "Well," the doctor elaborated,
"the bad news is that I heard about this nasty
strain just last week from my dog's vet."

hehehehe turns the page...

One day an old farmer fell asleep in the top level
in a 2 level hay shed. When he woke up, he
found his son having sex with his girlfriend on
the bottom level of the hayshed. He decided he
wouldn't disturb them, so he laid down and rested.
After a while he heard his son say, "Father, father
up above. Give me strength for one last shove."
So the father, being smart, replied, "Son, son
down below. Get off and give your father a go."

hehehehehe looks at you and smiles....
turns the page.....

Two women were having lunch together, and
discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery.
The first woman says, "I need to be honest
with you, I'm getting a boob job." The second
woman says "Oh that's nothing, I'm thinking
of having my asshole bleached!" To which the
first replies, "Whoa I just can't picture your
husband as a blonde!"

"Oh My"..lol....ok......

A Zen Master lived the simplest kind of life in a
little hut at the foot of a mountain. One evening,
while he was away, a thief sneaked into the hut
only to find there was nothing in it to steal.
The Zen Master returned and found him.
"You have come a long way to visit me," he
told the prowler, "and you should not return
empty handed. Please take my clothes as a gift."
The thief was bewildered, but he took the clothes
and ran away. The Master sat naked, watching
the moon. "Poor fellow," he mused, " I wish I
could give him this beautiful moon."

well I guess I should have given the crows the
silver moon and they would have left our clothes
alone...lol

Nightly comment: It takes a wise man to admitt
when they're wrong...smiles....
Courage is doing something even if your afraid to.

Nightly read: River Boat (turtle cove)

"Night Night"...turns out the light...

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Tuesday Nite Night Night

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Tuesday Nite Night Night

Run and jump into the bed...
covers pulled up to your head..
tuck ya snug and sits on down..
Opens my book of tails and looks at you..
"Ready?" How was your day....

"My Day?"
I got to work with a stripper today it was
exciting, and I got to use my hands hehehehe,
yep, after you apply the stripper to the wood
surface you wipe it and the varnish comes right
off, hehehehe, I learned that wording things
the right way are important, or can be missleading.
depending on how you use it...some do this very well
and some read it incorrectly, and some have no idea
what it meant, such is the way of literature.
"Ok, ready?"....
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. Take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed In the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me For staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes in the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the arse and say, "WHO'S HORNY...?!!!" and she acts like she's sound asleep!!!!
turns the page...laughing.....
One night Little Johnny was really scared sleeping by himself at camp, so he sprints out of his tent and runs to his teachers tent and asks "Miss can I please sleep with you tonight ?".

His teacher replies "NO"

Johnny moans and says "But my mummy lets me".

"OK then, just for tonight" the teacher replies.

Johnny jumps into bed with her and asks "Miss can I please play with your belly button with my finger".

She again says "NO".

"But my mummy lets me" says Johnny again.

"Well I suppose it's OK" replies the teacher.

Things are silent for a few minutes until the teacher leaps up screaming "THAT'S NOT MY BELLY BUTTON"

Little Johnny replies "It aint my finger either".
"Oh My!!!!...hehehe turns the page......
Eve's Mate

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.

"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied, "the sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain," reported Eve.

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc., she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she put it.

That is a fair point," replied God, "but it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."

And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden. "Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"

"Just fantastic," she replied, "but for one oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull; all the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now let's see....where did I put that useless boob?"

Now, doesn't THAT make more sense than that bullshit about the rib?
lol...hahahahaha...turns the page....
During a momentous battle, a Japanese general decided to attack even though his army was greatly outnumbered. He was confident they would win, but his men were filled with doubt. On the way to the battle, they stopped at a religious shrine. After praying with the men, the general took out a coin and said, "I shall now toss this coin. If it is heads, we shall win. If tails, we shall lose. Destiny will now reveal itself."

He threw the coin into the air and all watched intently as it landed. It was heads. The soldiers were so overjoyed and filled with confidence that they vigorously attacked the enemy and were victorious. After the battle, a lieutenant remarked to the general, "No one can change destiny."

"Quite right," the general replied as he showed the lieutenant the coin, which had heads on both sides.

Nightly comment: Don't drive faster than your
Angel can fly...***** is like a ride, your in the front
seeing where your going, or in the back looking
where you've been or in the middle not paying
attention!!!

Nightly read:Kiss of Death

"Night Night" ...turns out the light

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Tuesday Nite Night Night

Feel free to tell a bed time tale....smiles

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Hump Night~

Time for bed so off to bed,
covers ticked up to your head,
sits beside ya and opens my book.
then I give ya a story teller look...lol
"Ready" ...."How was your day?"

"Today"!!!!
I was working near a nest of purple martins
yep the same nest I put back up last week and
the family is striving, the eggs have hatched and
the baby birds are chirping their little beaks off,
well for those little martins to be so small they
are protective, they would fly fast at me and chirp
hoping to ward me off, seems like it doesn't
matter the size of something momma's will
defend their young, aint that right you mothers
know what I mean....hehehe..but I didn't bother
them I just did what I had to do and got out of
their territory, But dang their noisey..hehehe

"ok Ready?"...this is from E~
Nature

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph
of hope over experience. Marriage is when a
woman and man become one.
The trouble starts when they
try to decide which one...

Country Wisdom
"Every path has some puddles." -
Thanks~ Heather [Elizabetht]

turns the page....
this ones from LadyShianne~

Do not eat natural foods. I used to eat a
lot of natural foods until I learned that most
people die of natural causes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best
way to make sure you are removing a weed
and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it
comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The easiest way to find something lost around the
house is to buy a replacement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out
alive anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are two kinds of pedestrians:
the quick and the dead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life is sexually transmitted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If quitters never win, and winners never quit,
then who is the fool who said,
"Quit while you're ahead?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day;
teach that person to use the Internet and
they won't bother you for weeks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for
anything, but you still can't help but smile
when you see one tumble down the stairs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder
these days no one talks about seeing
UFOs like they used to?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All of us could take a lesson from the weather:
it pays no attention to criticism.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two
hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut
saves you thirty cents?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world
weird. Now the world is weird and people take
Prozac to make it normal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest
profession. I have come to realize that it bears
a very close resemblance to the first.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How is it one careless match can start a forest
fire but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hehehehehehe..thanks S~
turns the page....

Paint My Porch

A blonde wants to make some money so she
goes to one of the rich neighborhoods. She
rings the door bell and says, "HI, is there
anything I could do for your house or you???"

The man thinks and says, "Sure, you can
paint my porch. You will find all the stuff in
the garage."

The girl says, "O.K., How much will you pay me?"

The man says, "How does fifty bucks sound?"

The blonde quickly agrees and get straight to
work. The wife who had heard the conversation
inside says, "50 bucks, I hope she knows
the porch goes all around the house!"

25 minutes later the girl knocks on the door
and says, "O.K. I am done. Can I have my
money now?"

Surprised the man replies, "O.K. Let me
get the money"

He comes back and the girl says as she is
leaving, "By the way, it's a Ferrari, not a Porch!"

"Oh My"..lol..hehehehehehe
turns the page...

Fishing story

Once upon a time, long, long ago there was
a Presidential election that was too close
to call. Neither the Republican presidential
candidate nor the Democratic presidential
candidate had enough votes to win the election.

Therefore, it was decided that there should
be an ice fishing contest between the two
candidates to determine the final winner.
There was much talk about ballot recounting,
court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice
fishing competition seemed the (manly)
way to settle things

The candidate that catches the most fish at
the end of the week wins.

After a lot of back and forth discussion, it
was decided that the contest would take
place on a remote and cold lake in Wisconsin.
There were to be no observers present, and
both men were to be sent out separately
on this remote lake and return daily with
their catch for counting and verification.

At the end of the first day, George W.
returns to the starting line and he has 10 fish.

Soon, Kerry returns and has zero fish. Well,
everyone assumes he is just having another
bad hair day or something and hopefully, he
will catch up the next day.

At the end of the 2nd day George W. comes
in with 20 fish and Kerry comes in again with none.

That evening, Bill Clinton gets together secretly
with Kerry and says, "I think George W. is a
lowlife cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to
go out tomorrow and don't even bother with
fishing. Just spy on him and see if he is
cheating in any way."

The next night (after George W. comes back
with 50 fish), Clinton says to Kerry, "Well,
what about it, is George W. cheatin'?"

"He sure is, Bill. He's cutting holes in the ice."

hehehehehehahahahahahahehehehe
closes the book laughing....lol

Nightly comment: Every rose has its torns....
rain must fall in order for there to be a rainbow..
to go from mountain to mountain we must cross
a valley, highs and lows no matter how ya slice it
a cut is made...

Nightly Read: "Mirror Mirror" (7 by Joseki ko)
a great addition to the mysterious Mirror chain tale!

"Night Night" Turns out the light...

 

[My Erotic Tail]

"Night Night" Thursday~

Once again we find ourselves at the end
of another day and time to simmer down
and curl up into a bed time tale. Cover up
and I'll open my book and begin again...lol
"Ready?" "How was your day??????????"

"My day???"

Was wet...it stormed all day long. thunder
and lightening. Heavy rain and flooding. I was
feeding the horses this morning and even
with all this rain and storm some of them refuse
to hold up in the barn. Yesterday we saddled
one of the mares who doesn't get ridden by their
owners enough so we try to keep them
aclamated to a saddle and ride them periodicly
but she must have feared we would saddle
her again so she wouldn't come near the barn/
shed. I took a bucket of oats out to her way
out in the middle of the feild and she of course
come to the oats and I slipped a halter on her
and led her in out of the rain. Well I got wet...
but it accured to me that most of the creatures
on this planet have no shelter from a storm...
they live in the elements no matter what they
are. The birds and squirrels huddled up in their
nests and most humans were in their place of
buissness or homes. We truely are smart enough
to get out of the rain but we have places to go
to but depending on your thought process...how
many can feel for the little creatures that fear the
thunder and lighteneing. I even think of how first
man probably came up with all the storys as to
why it thundered and lighteneing. we know now
what causes it but remember when we were told
things like gods bowling in the heavens and watering
the garden in heaven and the rain slips through
or songs like "Holes in the floor of heaven" The
Indians had a tale of the great spirit chased
the buffalo in the plains of heaven. and the
Phenox was believed to be the fire bird the
lighteneing...well it was a nasty day...but we have
to have a little rain in order to have a rainbow...

"Ok story time."...."Ready?"

Once upon a time...."Ready?"
There was three baby birds liveing in a nest.
And momma bird had flown off to get lunch
and the baby birds were playing and one fell
out and the other two looked at each other
"oh no." they thought. Well just about that
time the baby bird came back flapping its wings
and landed back in the nest. The other two
were amazed well the one that fell said
"I can fly...see, " and jumped out flew around
and flew back. Well he was able to get another
baby bird to jump out and try it and now two
baby birds flew around the nest playing and flying.
They tryed to get the last baby bird to jump
but he wouldnt and momma came back and fed
them and they got sleepy and fell asleep later
they woke up and the two that flew kept on
playing and flying. But the one bird wouldnt,
they called 'em chicken and teased 'em. But
finally they went to sleep.
And for days they couldnt get him to fly,
taunting and teaseing didnt help but one
day a dog was chaseing the birds and knocked
one down. Well the baby bird in the nest saw
this and flew down and nipped at the dog and
got his brother to safety. And they were scared
but safe and the bird that was saved said.
"I didnt think you could fly?". And the baby
bird that saved him said. "well I figured I could
if you could, I just never saw the need till now."

"Ahhhhh"...hehehehehe we often can do things
we just don't see the need to till we need to...
smiles........turns the page.....this was sent to
me from LadyShianne...

THE PAOMNNEHAL PWEOR OF THE HMUAN MNID

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr
the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt
tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the
rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and
you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is
bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey
lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

ok...check these out....hehehe


Some examples of why the human race
has probably evolved as far as possible.
These are actual instruction labels on
consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work
on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
(printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction
accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds
off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in
the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a
universal childhood belief.)

hehehehehehehehehehehehe
"Ok jokes for the day..."Ready?"
----------------------------------------------

Q. How do crazy people go through the forest?

A. They take the psycho path.
---------------------------------------------
Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?

A. Cell phones.
-------------------------------------------
Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?

A. Spoiled milk.
-----------------------------------------
Q. Where do polar bears vote?

A. The North Poll
---------------------------------------
Q. What did Geronimo say when he
jumped out of the airplane?

A. ME!!!
--------------------------------------
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?

A. In snow banks.
--------------------------------------
Q. Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?

A. Because if they flew over the bay they
would be bagels!
--------------------------------------
Q. What dog keeps the best time?

A. A watch dog.
----------------------------------------
Q. Why did the tomato turn red?

A. It saw the salad dressing!
--------------------------------------
Q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?

A. It let out a little wine!
-------------------------------------
Q. How do you make a tissue dance?

A. Put a little boogey in it!
--------------------------------------
Q. What did the water say to the boat?

A. Nothing, it just waved.
-------------------------------------
Q. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?

A. Dam!
-------------------------------------
Q. Why don't skeletons fight each other?

A. They don't have the guts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh My"...rolls eyes...no throwing tomatoes..lol

"Nightly" comment: Have you ever pondered
how lucky you are to be alive...Like this...a woman
has a period once a month from 15 to well over fifty..
thats one seed a month for over 35 years...
12 x 35 = 420 so if a woman say your mother had
over 420 chances to have a child...and your here
don't you feel as though you won the lottery
in some way...419 others DIDN'T MAKE IT!!!!
Ok lets get even more indepth...what if that sperm
hadn't swam at the right time when you as the
egg flowed at the right time for it to eat it's way
through your barrier and we all know we still have
barriers...hehehehe any way you should feel
lucky to alive...even in this over populated earth
every one you meet is special in someway....smile

Nightly read:An Erotic Shampoo...by Raindear~
I highly recomend this story if you like erotic tales
(don't forget to comment and vote...smiles...)

"Night Night" turns out the light...

 

[My Erotic Tail]

The Ant and the GrassHopper~

This was sent to me and is a bit long for
nite nite so I'll post it here....smiles....

OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE ORIGINAL STORY: Be responsible for yourself!


MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We Shall Overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake. Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, rumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican

 

[CharleyH]

The night has falling once again~
time for bed...lets cover you to your head..
tucks ya snug as a bug in a rug...smiles (~_*)
Place a flower for you to see, The flowering...
growing bond between you and me...
sits beside you and opens my book of tales.

"Ok Ready? First how was your day?"
....Night Night has gone thru a
few changes since it began back in nov....
A few of you always seem to send me some
great stuff for night night...I dont use all of them
but they are greatly appreciated...if you want
or have a really good joke or tid bit of wisdom
You can now post it here...Perhaps this will help
the growing number on my list...hehehe
(Those who know the Night Night know what to expect)

As some of you know I do various jobs...Im really
a busy body...Martial Arts...Construction...Drive a
truck in a Moving buissness...My step-dads
cabinet shop and a few other un-attractive titles..hehe
"Well how was my day?"

A day in the life of Art

I get asked this question alot..."How do you come
up with so many Ideas for your stories...well Its like
today...I came up with 3...and this is one of them
and how...

Birds and the BEES ....by Art
I spent the day with Betsy...Now betsy is very
attractive and pretty to say the least...beautifull
she is not really demanding but I get all giddy when
I am around her...men are that way...I was playing
with betsy's hair when a lil brown bird came and
landed on her. Smaller than a sparrow so my guess
it was in the finch family...Now Betsy froze..she was
probably just as stunned as I was...I watched this
cute little bird being very still myself...

Then came along a BEE...now this Bee was flying
around this little bird that was sitting on Betsy...lol
the little bird was plain..nothing special about it
other than it was on Betsy and playing with a
Bee..or watching the Bee fly around the bird..

My guess is this bird and this Bee had a thing for
each other cause they were close to the same size.
The other birds probably didn't aprove of a bird and
a Bee having relations so they were by us....They
probably told this bird "Hey you cant have a BEE
for a friend thats just not right...matter of fact other
birds probably eat Bees...but any way...They were
admireing each other as I was admireing Betsy
we were all having a birds and the Bees moment..lol

Then Betsy moved and they went else where to
have their intimate moment Im guessing....but I
learned something....did you..???????
Bee with whom ever makes you happy no
matter what others might think...especiallly when
it comes to the Birds and the BEEs...hehehehe

So me and Betsy talked about her baby she is having
in the next two days...excited she is...even though
she didnt say it I know...smiles...so I will write a
story in (non-english) in her honor...since she
dont speak english...hehehehehe...really she
probably would say he he he he ...especially
when her foul is born...smiles...she is a beautifull
Indian Paint (black and white ) Interacial my guess
lmao....she has some great horse sense...lol

Any way as I was going out the gate I stopped
and said bye and that I loved her big brown eyes
and some things that are romantic...she likes that
and while I was standing at the gate a Hawk come
and landed on the gate...not three feet from where
I stood...guess he come to talk to Betsy about her
baby too....well that was magnificent..I mean
really I froze...guess I did that alot today...
I am sure that the Indians would take that to be
a good omen...but we all looked at each other
and then the Hawk was probably uncomfortable
with a threesome and left....hehehehe thats what
betsy said...smile....

so again...the birds and the bees....Bee with whom
ever makes you happy....smile...I want to beee
with you all on Lit so I come to play....smile....

(This is a true story)...hope you enjoyed a day
in the life of Art.........smiles.......
"Ok, Ready?" opens my book and starts to read....
Betsy said to tell ya'll .........hehehehehe

Little Donnie had just learned to count on his fingers.
One day his uncle came to visit and little Donnie
was anxious to show off his newly acquired
skill. He asked his uncle to give him an addition
question. So his uncle
asked, "What is three plus four?"

Little Donnie counted it out on his
fingers and said, "Seven."

His uncle said, "Listen Donnie,
you can't count it out on your hands because
someday when you are in school,
a teacher will get mad at you for it. Now
put your hands in your pockets."

So little Donnie put his hands in
his pockets and his uncle asked, "What is
five plus five?"

His uncle saw movement in little
Donnie's pockets, and then Little Donnie
said, "Eleven!"

Lmao...hehehehe betsy liked it too...smiles
turns the page....smiles...

"Once upon a time.' looks at you and smiles...
THERE once was a shaolin priest named
Da Mo...who ventured out from his temple in
search of enlightenment to carry back to his
fellow brotherin..and share learnings from the
world.....he was traveling one night when it was
raining and getting dark...he was wet, cold and
tired as he found his way along in the dark.
He came to a cave. Well the gods must be
smileing on me he thought as he made his
way into this cave out of the rain. His feet
stepped and crunching sounds came from
stepping on crunchy things but made
his way in farther thinking it must be wood
blown into the entrance cause not to much
farther in his feet felt soft straw that he
balled up and layed down on in
this pitch black damp cave. He fell asleep
from his weary travel thinking that the gods
have taken care of him this evening and gave
him shelter.....in the middle of the night
Da Mo woke up thirsty and listened as he
heard water dripping so he felt his way over
to the sound and felt what he thought was
a gobblet of liquid. The water was
dripping into some container that he
quickly smelled and tasted and quinched his
thirst. the gods have truely blessed me this
night he thought as he went back to
sleep. .................The next morning he
awoke to see that the crunching was bones
he had stepped across, and the straw was
hair of long dead and left. and the
container of water was a skull that he had
drank from. well Da Mo got a little ill and very
upset....but he went back to his temple
enlightened from a lesson he learned.
"Know what that lesson was??????????"....
......ENEMY'S OF THE MIND..................
every thing was a blessing till his mind had
told him that it was not. The mind rejected its
blessings once the mind knew what
was given to him to comfort him........
and his bodies...his needs were met...
but the mind rejected them...

*Looks at you and smiles...
Turns the page....

After a hardy rainstorm filled all the potholes in
the streets and alleys, a young mother
watched her two little
boys playing in the puddle through her kitchen
window. The older of the two, a five year old lad,
grabbed his sibling by the back of his
head and shoved his face into the water hole.
As the boy recovered and stood laughing and
dripping, the mother runs to the yard in a
panic.

"Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?!"
she says as she shook the older boy in anger.

"We were just playing 'church' mommy" he said.
"I was baptizing him in the name of the Father,
the Son and in the hole-he-goes.

Hehehe "Oh My"....
"Ok Nightly Comment...smiles...

Stories get 10,000 to 20,000 reads and more...
but they don't get that many votes, Elizabetht
wrote a story in humor on this topic that I
recomend...so if you read, please vote...thanks.

I have decided from the poll I took to keep
"night night " as a PM because I enjoy the
personell feedback as you obviously enjoy
it that way tooo...smile, but with the growing
number on the list and those who send me
their "Night Night" stories I created this thread,
so you can also tell your Nightly tale...smiles.
(Hoping this works)

Nightly read...
I felt this story would be good for the first
"Night Night" on this thread because its a
fairy tale type story so enjoy...
..........Sleeping Cutie..........
Hope you have a great night

"Night Night "...turns out the light...
"Good night every one"
........................................................

This is how the "Night Nights" have been since
Nov 2003, when I first started it, the overwhelming
amount of people on my list has obviously a
need to grow, perhaps you have an idea or a
"Night Night" you want to share...please do, plus
feedback and thread lovers can play with this as
much as you like...enjoy.

The kids grew up and are gone...I recall one of the
best things was our nightly read...I encourage
a nightly read and miss those days...so this is why
this has all come about....smiles...

(Till tomorrow night..."Night Night")

Jesus, that was long winded. Sure you shouldn't be on poetry thread? Or are you banal too?

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Nite Nite TGIF~

Time for a bed time tale,
shuttle off to the bed and covers
pulled up to your head....sits down
and opens my book of tales...smiles...
"How was your day???????????"

"Mine?"
Well I was at the ranch when this hand
got a call that his wife was at his house
with a truck backed up to the front door.
Now this man and woman are in the middle
of a divorce and a neighbor called to inform
him of his suspicions, So he asked for a ride
there to see why she was there....well I took
him and they were loading up the truck with
all the stuff and he has already called the
police and they got there and it was a mess.
Yelling and cussing and the police had their
hands full with this domestic dispute that was
supose to have been finalized by the courts
but she wanted everything...Well they made
her leave with only a couple items of hers....
the point I saw was that we all find it hard
to hold on to our love when marriage seems
like a very long road. The valleys seem tougher
than the peaks. Saw movie the other day...
(Just Married) where the father refers to a scrap/
book or photo album saying that the snap shots
were the good times and the inbetweens aren.t
shown cause they're not as glamorous...That its not
all roses...there are thorns too...I hate to see
people fighting...especially those who loved or love
each other and tearing onto each others soul as they
do...well hug the ones you love and tolerate those
who irritate you for its not worth rageing war over
differences...smiles...

"Ok Ready?"...hehehehe

A Mom is driving a little girl to her friends house for a play date. "Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?" The mother looks over at the little girl, "Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age, it isn't polite." the mother warns. "Ok," the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"

"Now really," the mother says, "these are personal questions and are really none of your business." Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and daddy get a divorce?"

"That is enough questions, honestly!" The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

"My Mom wouldn't tell me anything," the little girl says to her friend. "Well," said the friend, "all you need to do is look at her driver's license. It is like a report card, it has everything on it." Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32." The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?"

"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds." The mother is past surprise and shock now. "How in heavens name did you find that out?" The little girl continues on triumphantly, "And... I know why you and daddy got divorce."

"Oh really?", the mother asks, "Why is that?" To which the girl replies, "Because you got an F in sex."

heheheheheehheheehehehehehehe
now that was funny....lol...turns the page...

A 16-year-old girl finally had the opportunity to go to a party by herself. Since she was very good-looking, she was a bit nervous about what to do if boys hit on her. Her mom said, "It's very easy! Whenever a boy starts hitting on you, you ask him, 'What will be the name of our baby?' That'll scare them off." So off she went. After a little while at the party, a boy started dancing with her, and little by little he started kissing her and touching her. She asked him, "What will our baby be called?" The boy found some excuse and disappeared. Some time later, the same thing happened again: a boy started to kiss her neck, her shoulders... She stopped him and asked about the baby's name, and he ran off.

Later on, another boy invited her for a walk. After a few minutes, he started kissing her, and she asked him, "What will our baby be called?" He continued, now slowly taking her clothes off. "What will our baby be called?" she asked once more. He began to have sex with her. "What will our baby be called?!" she asked again. After he was done, he took off his "full" condom, gave it a knot, and said, "If he gets out of this one... David Copperfield!

hahahahaha...turns the page....

Two women walked into a department store, stopped at the perfume counter and picked up a sample bottle. One sprayed the perfume on her wrist and smelled it. "That's nice, isn't it?" Sharon said waving her arm under her friend's nose. "Yeah. What's it called?" "Viens a moi." "Viens a moi? What's that mean?" A clerk offered some help. "Viens a moi, ladies, is French for 'come to me.'" Sharon took another sniff. "That doesn't smell like come to me," she said, offering her arm to her friend again. "Does that smell like come to you?"

turns the page....

One day Chuang Tzu and a friend were walking by a river. "Look at the fish swimming about," said Chuang Tzu, "They are really enjoying themselves."
"You are not a fish," replied the friend, "So you can't truly know that they are enjoying themselves."

"You are not me," said Chuang Tzu. "So how do you know that I do not know that the fish are enjoying themselves?"

closes the book....

Nightly comment:To error is human to forgive is devine...

Nightly read:TigerDragonCrane

"Night Night" Turns out the light....

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Happiness~

from bamagirl~

Remember the five simple rules to be happy
1. Free your heart from hatred.

2. Free your mind from worries.

3. Live simply.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less.

No one can go back and make a brand new start.

Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.


God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without
rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and
light for the way.

Disappointments are like road bumps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy
the smooth road afterwards. Don't stay on the bumps too long.

When something happens to you, good or bad, consider what it means. There's
a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too
hard.

You can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be
loved, and the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.

It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you
love because of pride.

We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault
with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we
give.

Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take their
place. Friendship is like wine; it gets better as it grows older.

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Saturday Night Night~

Night Time again my friend...
rush off to bed and covers to your head...
sit down beside you and open my book..
turns and gives you a look..."Ready?"
"How was your day?"

"My Day?"

Well it was great actually,
Inner Spirit Martial Arts got a new
location today...well two weeks from today
it will reopen at its new, spacious, awesome
NEW location..woohooo Yep I heard about it
and then went back and finalized the deal today
I am excited ..hehehehe got a lot of work to do
but hey its worth it...smiles....takes a BOW!!!!

"Ok, I notice that nobody ...well let me say that
most do not go to the nightly reads...so Ill change
that up a bit and try to place the link and a small
tid bit of the tale so you can decide you want to
read it or not....but for tonight...
I got a new poem submitted but I'll
save ya the suspense and post it here so you
can enjoy it....smiles....

Ridin' High...by Art

Guns a blazin once again.
Chasing down those looting Injins.

Saving the world, from a trusty steed,
aganst bandits and bank robbers who stole for greed.

Reliving those old cowboy days.
Like billy the kid and black hat hayes.

Being a cowboy singing their songs.
Acting like the sheriff who defends the wronged.

Ridin high in the saddle, of a pure white horse.
Always the hero but of course.

Holding tightly with a hand full of manes.
Being the infamous Jessie James.

Then the horse slows to a stop.
Puts another quarter in the machines slot.

Back to saving the world again.
On the Stallion known as a friend.

Life is exciting never a bore.
While riding the horse in front of the store.

smiles...ok a joke.......

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.

Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you."

Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart
attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife.
He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'"

hehehehe turns the page....

A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. what is it?" she asked. "an apple" replied little Raymond "no," said the teacher " it's a tomato but it shows your thinking." "I've now got something round, a greenish colored you can eat it." "An apple," replied little Ian "No it's an onion, but it shows your thinking." Little scruffy Johnny at the back of the class says "I've got something under my desk that's an inch long, white and it has a red end." "Dirty little boy," said the teacher "No it's a match, but it shows you were thinking," he answered.

lol....okay!!!!!!

comment: Vengence is a vessel with a hole in it...
I teach my students that when in confrontation...
verbal or otherwise... if you become angry you
are placing all your knowledge in a box and
sealing it, therefore not able to use your wisdom
during your defense. Then your lashings show
your limitations...

"Night Night"... turns out the light....

 

[Untamed_Heart]

My most sincere congratulations my friend way to go!

 

[bamagirl]

MY SON, THE VET...


Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate.

This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.

"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.

"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and what I don't need I give to the church."

The pastor replied, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"

The old lady said.... "Oh, $20,000 a week."

The pastor was amazed... "Your son is very successful, what does he do for a living?

"He is a veterinarian," she answered.

"That is a very honorable profession", the pastor says. "Where does he practice?"

The old lady says proudly...."Well, he has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno."

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Sunday Night~

Time for a bed time tail...I mean tale...lol
hope on the bed and cover up,
pulls out my book and opens it up...
"Ready?" "How was your day?"

Its sunday and most or some consider
it to be the religious day of the week..
I say this because I was sent a handful
of cute jokes concerning the way children
see sunday or church or something similar.

CHURCH THROUGH A CHILD'S EYES

A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin
asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

Sixteen," the boy responded.

His cousin was amazed that he had an
answer so quickly. "How do you know that?"

"Easy," the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the
Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a church service on Sunday morning,
a young boy suddenly announced to
his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become
a minister when I grow up."

"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"

Well," said the little boy,
"I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and
figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell,
than to sit and listen."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's
Prayer at a church service:

And forgive us our trash passes, as
we forgive those who passed trash
against us."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little girl became restless as the preacher's
sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother
and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him
the money now, will he let us go?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the christening of his baby brother in church,
little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the
back seat of the car. His father asked him three
times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied,
"That priest said he wanted
us brought up in a Christian home, and I
want to stay with you guys!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Sunday School Teacher asks,
"Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before eating?"

No sir," little Johnny replies,
"I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pastor Dave Charlton tells us,
"After a worship ! service at First Baptist
Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother
with a fidgety seven-year boy told
me how she finally got her son to sit still
and be quiet. About halfway
through the sermon, she leaned over and
whispered, 'If you don't be quiet,
Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and
will have to start his
sermon all over again!' It worked."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~lol
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's
lap as he read her a bedtime
story. From time to time, she would take her
eyes off the book and reach up
to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was
alternately stroking her own cheek,
then his again.

Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"

"Yes, sweetheart," he answered,
"God made me a long time ago."

"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"

"Yes, a little while ago."

Feeling their respective faces again,
she observed, "God's getting better at
it, isn't he?"

....................................................................Lmao
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best,
was running as fast as she
could, trying not to be late for Bible class.
As she ran she prayed,
"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!
Dear Lord, please don't let me
be late!" As she was running and praying,
she tripped on a curb and
fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her
dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and
started running again. As she ran she once
again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please
don't let me be late!...But
don't shove me either.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy's prayer:
"Dear God, please take care of my daddy and my
mommy and my sister and my brother and
my doggy and me. Oh, please take
care of yourself, God. If anything happens to
you, we're gonna be in a
big mess."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A five-year-old said grace at family
dinner one night. "Dear God, thank
you for these pancakes..."When he
concluded, his parents asked him why
he thanked God for pancakes when
they were having chicken. He smiled
and said, "I thought I'd see if He was
paying attention tonight."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Johnny had been misbehaving and
was sent to his room. After a while he
emerged and informed his mother that
he had thought it over and then
said a prayer. "Fine", said the pleased
mother. "If you ask God to help
you not misbehave, He will help you."
"Oh, I didn't ask Him to help me
not misbehave," said Johnny.
"I asked Him to help you put up with me."
.........................................................................

It was Palm Sunday and, because of
a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny
stayed home from church with a sitter.

When the family returned home,
they were carrying several palm branches. The
boy asked what they were for.
"People held them over Jesus' head as he
walked by"

"Wouldn't you know it, " the boy fumed,
"The one Sunday I don't go, He shows
up!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~lol

One Easter Sunday morning as the minister
was preaching the children's
sermon, he reached into his bag of props
and pulled out an egg. He pointed
at the egg and asked the children,
"What's in Here?"

"I know" a little boy exclaimed....."Pantyhose!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny asked his grandma how old she was.

Grandma answered, "39 and holding!"

Johnny thought for a moment, and then said,
"And how old would you be if you let go?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy in church for the first time
watched as the ushers passed
around the offering plates.

When they came near his pew,
the boy said loudly, "Don't pay for me Daddy.
I'm under five!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh, I sure am happy to see you, "
the little boy said to his grandmother on
his mother's side.

"Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he
has been promising us.

The grandmother was curious.

"What trick is that?" she asked.

"I heard him tell Mommy that he would
climb the walls if you came to visit
us again!", the little boy answered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My husband bought me a mood ring the
other day.

"When I'm in a good mood it turns green.

"When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a
red mark on his forehead!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do you believe in life after death?"
the boss asked one of his employees.

"Yes, Sir," the new employee replied.

"Well, then, that makes everything just fine,"
the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday
to go to your grandmother's funeral, she
stopped in to see you!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hehehehehehe...thanks Deb~
hope everyone had a great day...


Nightly read:
In keeping with tonights topic

Schoolgirl's naughty prayer
by synfully_wicked ©
Holy Mary full of grace
Bless my boyfriend's handsome face
Bless the hair that tends to curl
Keep him safe from other girls
Bless his arms which are so strong
And remind him to keep them where they belong
Bless the cock, which I have sucked
Bless the bed in which we fucked
And if my mom should happen to walk in
Bless the shit that I'll be in
Amen

hahahahaha....
Nightly comment: Hug the ones ya love,
love the ones ya hug, and hugs not shrugs...

"Night Night"...turns out the light....

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Night Night~

Night Night time again...
rush ya off to bed...and covers ya up snug...
"Ready?"...sits down and opens my book of tales.
"How was your day?"...oh like your gonna post
and tell me..hehehehehehe...

"My Day?"
Every try to corral 9 frightened horses during a
thunderstorm...its about like being an elephant
trainer I suppose...they don't really know which
way to run when lightening strikes and thunders
out loudly, but hey it was a challenge....then I used
my noodle...well ok my big head...well my small
brain...ok my mind...hehehehehe...and brought
out the treats...yep...peanut butter cookies...hehe
I made some last night and had about 5 big ones
I broke up and led them in the barn one at a time
with ...yep...peanut butter cookies...funny huh...
well its amazing every creature seems to be led
by consumption...and especially sweets...mmmmm
well hey what ever works....

Ok a little brain food.....
Do you know that at military funerals,
the 21-gun salute stands for the sum
of the numbers in the year 1776?
(1+7=8+7=15=6=21)

Have you ever noticed the honor
guard pays meticulous attention to correctly
folding the United States of America flag 13 times?
You probably thought it was to symbolize the
original 13 colonies, but we learn
something new every
day!

The 1st fold of the flag is a symbol of life.

The 2nd fold is a symbol of the belief in eternal life.

The 3rd fold is made in honor and remembrance
of the veterans departing the ranks who
gave a portion of their lives for the defense
of the country to attain peace throughout the world.

The 4th fold represents the weaker nature,
for as American citizens trusting
in God, it is to Him we turn in times of
peace as well as in time of war for
His divine guidance.

The 5th fold is a tribute to the country,
for in the words of Stephen
Decatur, "Our Country, in dealing with other
countries, may she always be
right; but it is still our country, right or wrong.

The 6th fold is for where people's hearts lie.
It is with their heart that They pledge allegiance
to the flag of the United! States Of America, and the
Republic for which it stands, one Nation under
God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

The 7th fold is a tribute to its Armed Forces,
for it is through the Armed Forces that they
protect their country and their flag against all her
enemies, whether they be found within or without the boundaries of their republic.

The 8th fold is a tribute to the one who
entered into the valley of the
shadow of death, that we might
see the light of day.

The 9th fold is a tribute to womanhood,
and Mothers. For it has been through
their faith, their love, loyalty and devotion
that the character of the men
and women who have made this
country great has been molded.

The 10th fold is a tribute to the father,
for he, too, has given his sons
and daughters for the defense of their
country since they were first born.

The 11th fold represents the lower
portion of the seal of King David and
King Solomon and glorifies in the Hebrews
eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac
and Jacob.

The 12th fold represents an emblem
of eternity and glorifies, in the
Christians eyes, God the Father,
the Son and Holy Spirit.

The 13th fold, or when the flag is completely
folded, the stars are uppermost reminding
them of their nations motto, "In God We Trust."

After the flag is completely folded and tucked in,
it takes on the appearance of a cocked hat,
ever reminding us of the soldiers who served
under General George Washington, and the
Sailors and Marines who served
under Captain John Paul Jones,
who were followed by their comrades and
shipmates in the Armed Forces of the United States,
preserving for them the rights, privileges
and freedoms they enjoy today.

There are some traditions and ways
of doing things that have deep meaning.
In the future, you'll see flags folded and
now you will know why.

"Ok now for a giggle...


An Oklahoma game warden stopped a
Texan leaving lake Texoma with two
buckets of fish. The game warden
asked the man,"Do you have a Oklahoma
license to catch those fish?"

The Texan said, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?" the warden queried.

"Yes, sir," the man explained.
"Every night I take these fish down to the
lake and let them swim around for a while.
Then I whistle and they jump back into their
buckets and I take 'em home."


The game warden glared at the man and said,
whadda you think I am stupid!
"That's impossible. Fish can't do that!"

The man looked at the game warden for a
moment and said, Sir, "Here, I'll
show you. It really works." The man poured
the fish into the lake and waited.

After several minutes, the game warden
looked at the man and said,

"Well? "

"Well what?" the Texan asked.

"When are you going to call them back?"
the game warden prompted.

"Call who back?" the man asked.

"The FISH!"

The Texan said, "What fish?"

LMAO...HEHEHEHEHEHE.."Oh My"
turns the page......

I saw a bumper sticker that said....
///.."I Fish...therefore I lie..."..////

Car Thief

Gives us all something to think about...
An honest man was being tailgated by a
stressed-out woman on a busy
boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned
yellow, just in front of him. He did
the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk,
even though he could have beaten the red
light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and
the horn, screaming in frustration as she
missed her chance to get
through the intersection with him. As she
was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on
her window and looked up into the face of
a very serious police officer.

The officer ordered her to exit her car with
her hands up. He took her
to the police station where she was searched,
fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached
the cell and opened the door. She was escorted
back to the booking desk where the arresting
officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, "I'm very sorry for this
mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your
car while you were blowing your
horn, flipping the guy off in front of you,
and cussing a blue streak at him. I
noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder,
the 'What Would Jesus Do'
bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to
Sunday School' bumper sticker, and
the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem
on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed
you had stolen the car."

lol...hehehe...ok....smiles.....

Nightly comment: trying to teach some one to
meditate is dificult...to put it in as short a words
as possible...the first thing you do when born.....
breathe...breath is essential every minute of your
life yet we take it for granite...its automated...
but run around your block...ok that might kill a
few of you so run around the house...like your really
gonna do that...hehehehe your out of breath...
panting gasping...your body tells you it needs air...
while in a hot tub bathing...or quitely sitting...
concentrate on your breathing...most people
breathe shallow...hence when you get up to fast
and you get light headed..head rush...the body
has to adjust the blood level with oxygen...to
steady your focus again...breath in for four heart
beats...breath out for 4 heart beats.......
ok now the mind...thinkof a still calm as glass pool
of water...every thought makes ripples in the pond..
so try not to think...wow someof you probably do
that well..hehehehe and some can't stop thinking
your probably thinking...don't think don't think...lol
relax...stress release is much needed these days...
try it and now your making ripples..as soon as you
speak to some one think about the ripples you
made in their pool...hehehehe ok some of you
might yell and make waves but try to not let
the ripples accure while talking to some one....you
do that and your a zen master....looking forward
to replies on that one...ok ripple my pond...lol

Nightly read:Lust Requited...by CrimsonMaiden
I had an online meet once...hehehehe this story is worth the read as is most all of crims stuff its her turn in the lime light so please vote and comment...if you like the story...thanks Art

"Night Night" turns out the light....

 

[Guest]

Thanks for the mention Art.

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Tu Night

"Hey...get to bed"...snicker...
Time for night night...."Ready?"
get ya a soda and some pop corn or
a snack sit back and relax...for a lil
nightly tail...I mean tale....I bet you said..
"Ahhhhhhhh"...hjehehehehehehe....

"How was your day?"...."Mine?"

Grandma's Cure for the Cold

Granny was in her eighties and much admired
for her sweetness and kindness
to all. The pastor came to call on her
one afternoon early in the Spring,
and she welcomed him into her parlor.
He took a seat while she prepared some
tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ,
the minister noticed a cut glass
bowl sitting on top of it, filled with water.
In the water floated, of all
things, a condom.

Imagine his shock, surprise and curiosity.
Surely, Miss Granny had flipped!
But he felt he couldn't mention the
strange sight in her parlor. When she
returned with the tea and cookies they
began to chat. The pastor tried to
stifle his curiosity about the bowl of
water and the floating item, but soon
it got the better of him and he could
resist no longer - "Miss Granny" he
said while pointing to the bowl,
"I wonder if you could tell me about this?"

"Oh, yes", she replied, "Isn't it wonderful?
I was walking down town last
fall and I found this little package.
The directions said to put it on the
organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent
disease. And you know___I haven't
had a cold all winter."

Lmao...hehehehe//"Oh My"..
turns the page.......

Q: What is an Australian kiss?
A: It is the same as a French kiss, but only
down under.

Q: What do u do with 365 used condoms?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a
Goodyear.

Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after
women?
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but
when they go they take your
house and car with them.

Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.

Q: Why do girls rub their eyes when they get
up in the morning?
A: They don't have balls to scratch.


heheheheheheheh..smiles....
next....

The government recently calculated the cost of raising
a (1)child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140
for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock!
That doesn't even touch college tuition.

But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down.
It translates into $8,896.66
a year, $741.38 a month, or $171.08 a week. That's a mere$24.24 a day! Just
over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial
advice is don't have children if
you want to be "rich."

Actually, it is just the opposite.
What do you get for your $160,140?

Naming rights. First, middle, and last!

Glimpses of God every day.

Giggles under the covers every night.

More love than your heart can hold.

Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.

You get an education in psychology, nursing,
criminal justice, communications, and human
sexuality that no college can match.

In the eyes of a child, you rank right
up there under God. You have all the
power to heal a boo-boo, scare away
the monsters under the bed, patch a
broken heart, police a slumber par ty,
ground them forever, and love them
without limits, so . . . one day they will,
like you, love without counting
the cost.

"Awwwww"...thanks DEB"

.
> Three little boys were concerned
because they couldn't get anyone to
play with them. They decided it was
because they had not been baptized and didn't
go to Sunday School. So, they went to the
nearest church. Only the janitor was there.
One said, "We need to be baptized because
no one will come out and play with us.
will you baptize us?"

"Sure," said the janitor. He took them
into the bathroom and dunked their
heads in the toilet bowl, one at a time.

Then he said, "Now go out and play."

When they got outside, dripping wet,
one of them asked, "What religion do
you think we are?"

The oldest one said, "We're not Katlick,
because they pour the water on
you.

We're not Babtis because they dunk all of you in it.

We're not Methdiss because they just sprinkle you."

The littlest one said, "Didn't you smell that water?"

"Yeah! What do you think that means?"
"I think it means that we're
Pisscopalians..."

"Oh My"...poor lil angels...lol all wet behind the ears.
lol

Nightly comment: I was sent a long e-mail that I will
try to make shorter...some ones dog was dying from
liver failure...then they're cats died too they found out
that the Swiffer Wetjet formula that they used to clean
the floor was getting on their paws and I guess
then they licked the product and died...so please
becarefull when cleaning and think about the
criters pa's...wait I mean Paws....lol seems like
everythings safe yet everything will kill ya in someway.

Nightly read: The Library By E~[color]
Well an erotic tale in the library...I enjoyed this read
awhile back and while trying to figure out what to
post for a nightly read this popped in my mind...so enjoy.
If you have a story you want me to post send me ONE
and I;ll put it on a list...thanks Art

"Night Night" turns out the lights...

 

[bamagirl]

I had gotten that email on the swifters and sent it out.
today I got this link in the mail it appears that we were being told wrong.

http://www.snopes.com/critters/crusader/swiffer.asp

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Night night tgif

Its friday night and a bed time tale
so get ya butt to bed and cover up..hehehe
Pulls out my book of tales ...
"How was your day?"....

"Sorry" I hadn't written the last two nights
I been busyier than a squirrel with a bushel
of pecans...more tard than a race horse doing
the triple crown in one day...worked harder
than an ant pushing a pea up the mound...
Any way I missed my night night....

Today I saw a situation that made me recall
a show probably the discovery channel
where they showed where monkeys were
the only other animal that used tools to
achieve a goal or desire....know what an egret
is?...well these egrets follow cattle around
cause when the cow walks a feild they stir
up the grass hoppers and crickets and the egret
gets a meal, now thats kinda clever...now wonder
what knida deal these two concockded up to
make such a freindship??? The cow gets the
pleasure of being escorted around by three or
four white egrets like soldiers not to mention
any flys or bugs gets on the cow the egret swoops
up and gets on the cows back and free meal
its quite a sight, but these horse don't take
to kindly to the idea when egrets come around
horses they nip at them. well it was fun and it was
real so it was real fun...hehehehehe

"Ok a joke or two.....smiles...

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one
night with the tip of her index finger shot off.

"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor
asked her."Well, I was trying to commit suicide,"
the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit
suicide by shooting your finger off?"

"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my
chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these
breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."

"So then?" asked the doctor. "Then I put the gun in
my mouth, and I thought:
I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened,
I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."

"So then?" "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I
thought: This is going to make a loud noise.
So I put my finger in the other ear
before I pulled the trigger................"

hehe=hehe=hehe
turns the page....

A college professor was doing a study testing
the senses of firstgraders, using a bowl of lifesavers.
He gave all the children the same kind of lifesavers,
one at a time, and asked them to
identify them by color and flavor.
The children began to say: "Green..........lime,"
Orange..........orange."
Finally the professor gave them all honey-flavored
lifesavers. After eating
them for a few moments none of the children
could identify the taste.
"Well," he said "I'll give you all a clue,
It's what your mother may
sometimes call your father."
One little girl looked up in horror, spit her
lifesaver out and yelled: "Oh
my gosh! They're assholes!"

lol....snicker....
turns the page....

1. I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt
with "Guess" on it. So I said
implants?" She hit me.

2. I don't need to do drugs. I get the same
effect just standing up fast.

3. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store:
"Buy one dog, get one flea..."

4. I live in my own little world.
But it's OK. They know me here.

5. I got a sweater for Christmas.
I really wanted a screamer or a moaner

6. If flying is so safe, why do they call
the airport the terminal?

7. I don't approve of political jokes.
I've seen too many of them get
elected.

8. There are two sides to every divorce:
Yours and Stupidhead's.

9. I love being married. It's so great to find that
one special person you
want to annoy for the rest of your life.

10. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect;
therefore, I am perfect.

11. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I have stayed alive.

12. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

13. Isn't having a smoking section in a
restaurant like having a peeing
section in a swimming pool?

14. Why is it that most nudists are
people you don't want to see naked?

15. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

16. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...
but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying,
"Dang...that was fun!"-

17. I signed up for an exercise class and
was told to wear loose-fitting
clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing,
I wouldn't have signed up
in the first place!

18. When I was young we used to go
"skinny dipping," now I just "chunky
dunk."...

"well I guess I would be pole dinking...hehe"

19. The worst thing about accidents in the
kitchen is eating them.

20. Don't argue with an idiot;
people watching may not be able to tell the
difference.

21. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we
messed up our life we could simply
press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

22. Stress is when you wake up screaming
and then you realize you haven't
fallen asleep yet.



23. Why is it that our children can't read
a Bible in school, but they can
in prison?

24. Wouldn't you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT
cells live forever.

smiles...closes the bppok and looks at ya...

Nightly comment:
Just remember...if the world didn't suck,
we'd all fall off....hehehehehe

Nightly read: A Poem...by me...(The Pater Factory)

Night Night ...turns out the light....

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Sat on Night

Get some covers and ready for the read..
Then come sit down next to me....
Open my book of tails..wait thats playboy..
puts it up and out with my book of tales...lol
"Ready? How was your day?"

Mine?
I saw mrs Martin today and she was so upset
I couldn't understand a word she said...I could
tell she was upset but she was rambling on so..
I finally pieced together she was talking about
her son, who had run off, "Oh My" I saw him
running around the bushes and I sprang into
action like superman because he was headed
straight for the horses. And if that mustang saw
him well the mustang has a bad temper and mean
as a rattlesnake on cold blizzard night.

Any way under the fence went mrs martins son
and I shot through that gate like a deer after
corn, By the time I go running up there that
mustang which was light brown with black mane
and tail...was nose to nose with mrs martins son.
they were checking each other out, but I swooped
the boy up and took him back to mrs martin and
back into the nest I put him, those 4 baby birds
are starting to fall out of the nest and the
purple martins got their hands full, recall the nest
I put back here about 3 weeks ago?...well their
hatched...the 6 eggs produced 4 young....smile

Ok another....
All the ranch hands well theres 3 of us were braggin
who could cook the best BBQ, hey its a texas thing..
any way I took ribs and cooked them up another
did a brisket and another did a rump roast with
sausage...well the brisket guy was doing his secret
and told me not to tell his secret but I gotta say
I was apauled...turned my nose up and said
"I ain't eatin none of that" I couldn't beleive what
he did...and he laughed..said good more for us then.
After we all cooked and the chow line was ready
and we all ate some of each...I gotta say I was
impressed with his brisket..and his secret...even
though it was unconventional to say the least..
made it the best brisket I ever ate....know what
he did??????????

added horse hair he cut from the paints mane..
now don't use the tail because...well thats just
nasty but I swear to god it was deliscious and I
never would of thought of putting that in a food
It is suppose to be an old cowboy special spice
when they were out on the range with no salt
or pepper or seasoning...any way..thats a true
tale...and it was yummy of course it was washed
and the mane removed before eating....lol

"Ok READY?"

Standing for what you believe in regardless
of the odds against you,
and the pressure that tears at your resistance
...is Courage.

Keeping a smile on your face when inside you
feel like dying, for the sake of supporting others
...is Strength.

Stopping at nothing and doing what's in your
heart that you know is right
...is Determination.

Doing more than is expected, to make another's
life a little more bearable,
without uttering a single complaint
...is Compassion.

Helping a friend in need, no matter the time or effort,
to the best of your ability
...is Loyalty.

Holding your head high
And being the best you know you can be when life
seems to fall apart at your feet,
Facing each difficulty with the confidence that
time will bring you better tomorrows,
And never giving up...
...is Confidence.


I do believe I am having a wonderful day
after reading these


THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY....
check out these actual cases.


Fire authorities in California found a
corpse in a burned-out section of
forest while assessing the damage done
by a forest fire. The deceased male
was dressed in a full wet suit, complete
with scuba tanks on his back,
flippers, and face mask. A post-mortem
test revealed that the man died not
from burns, but from massive internal injuries.
Dental records provided a

positive identification. Investigators then
set about to determine how a
fully clothed diver ended up in the middle
of a forest fire. It was revealed
that on the day of the fire, the man went
diving off the coast, some 20
miles from the forest. The fire fighters,
seeking to control the fire as
quickly as possible, had called in a fleet
of helicopters with very large
dip buckets. Water was dipped from the
ocean and emptied at the site of the
forest fire. You guessed it. One minute our
diver was making like Flipper in
the Pacific, the next, he was doing the
breast stroke in a fire dip bucket
300 feet in the air. Some days it just doesn't
pay to get out of bed.
____________________________________
Still having a bad day? Just remember,
it could be worse...

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal
after the Exxon Valdez oil spill
in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony,
two of the most expensively saved animals were
being released back into the wild amid cheers and
applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view,
a killer whale ate them both.
_____________________________________________

Still think you are having a bad day?

A woman came home to find her husband in
the kitchen shaking frantically,
almost in a dancing frenzy, with some
kind of wire running from his waist towards the
electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from
the deadly current, she whacked him with a
handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two
places. Up to that moment, he had been happily
listening to his Walkman.

_______________________________________________

STILL think you're having a bad day?

Two animal rights protesters were protesting
at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse
in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs
broke loose and escaped through a broken fence,
stampeding madly The two hopeless
protesters were trampled to death.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Oh My....are we having a good day or what..hehehe
turns the page......

Traditional Roulette

An african ambassador visited Russia
and was entertained by his opposite
number, the Russian ambassador.
For three days, the African ambassador was
wined, dined, and generally treated to
the best hospitality that Russia had
to offer.

On the last day of his visit, the Russian
ambassador said, "As your stay is
coming to an end, it's time for you
to play our traditional game, Russian
roulette. One of the six chambers of
this gun is loaded - you spin the
cylinder, point the gun at your head,
and pull the trigger."

This phased the African slightly, but he
was a proud man of a warrior
people, and to show fear would be
unthinkable. Both men took their guns,
spun, and pulled the triggers.

Both chambers were empty, and both
ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.

The African ambassador was impressed
with the couragous game, and thought
hard about the subject before the Russian
Ambassador was due to visit his
country the next year.

When the visit came, the African ambassador
treated the Russian with all
hospitality, until the final day of his stay.
Leading him to a private room
in the palace, the African ambassador
spoke, "Now, time for you to sample
our game, African roulette". He then
led the Russian into the room, the only
occupants of which were six stunning
and naked women.

The African ambassador said,
"These women are the most beautiful members of
one of our tribes. Any one of them
will give you a oral sex - take your
pick".

The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea,
but he couldn't see the
connection with Russian Roulette.
He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the
roulette part? Where's the danger?"

With a big grin on his face, the African
ambassador answered:

"One of them's a cannibal."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A whole new meaning to eat me....hehehee

Nightly comment: You know the old saying don't
forget to stop and smell the roses...?
Well today I was reminded of another I like...
Art Carney once said, (from the honey mooners)
you can hear the winds of change coming then
going. It was a windy day and the tall pines swayed
quite a bit today...but it was so cool to hear the wind
coming thru the trees...then blow ya hair around and then
hear it pressing thru the woods behind ya.....ever heard
that?...smiles.....guess mother nature was giving me
a blow job...hehehe like Joseki ko said...If life sucks
isn't that the ultimate blowjob?...hehehehe....

Nightly read: Well theres so many but I think its
'cookiejars" turn so check this out....The Grandma gang
I loved this story and cookie should do a part two..
check it out....smiles.....

"Night Night"..turn out the lights....

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Thank You

Watching your growth as a writer
Since we met brings smiles upon my lips.

Making many writings with none you have tripped.
Each one brings Arthur's talent none has been stripped..

His anxious worries are dealt with by his talent
His Mind Body and Soul He pours into each new idea...

His grammer has improved with determination by Him...
He writes and shares his words with friends..

He is a lover with kindness gentleness and tenderness...
He is much to many...

Spaced all around the world
His friends do dare tell him..

Thank you my kind hearted Art for the Night Night's
We each one that he shares we can all be called his friends.....


(Thanks L~)
(Made me smile)

 

[LiteraryArt]

Camoflauge Grin

I like Night Night Tails...hehehe

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Night Night Sundae

Lets curl up in a blanket and read a tale,
gets some popcorn or cookies or maybe
some PUDDIN' my favorite...
and "Ready?" How was your day?

Opens my book of tales and away we go...

Thoughts About Everyday Life

1. If you're too open-minded, your brains
will fall out.
2. Don't worry about what people think;
they don't do it very often.
3. Going to a church doesn't make you a
Christian any more than standing in
a garage makes you a car.
4. It isn't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural
stupidity.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room
with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the
notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and
opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture,
you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice
the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all
your other parts feel good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
(Just remember how lucky your were to
get a free trip around the sun).
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth.
Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and
narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going
than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years
and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you
counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing.
It enables you t recognize a mistake
when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet,
they move the ends.
23. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice
contrast to the real world.
25. If you must chose between two evils,
chose the one that you've never tried before.

"Ok"..turns the page....

Big-game Hunter
A big-game hunter went on safari with
his wife and mother-in-law. One
evening, while still deep in the jungle,
the Mrs. awoke to find her mother
gone. Rushing to her husband, she
insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of
whiskey, and started to look
for her. In a clearing not far from the camp,
they came upon a chilling
sight: the mother-in-law was backed up
against a thick, impenetrable bush,
and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"
"Nothing," said the hunter husband.
"The lion got himself into this mess,
let him get himself out of it."

Lmao...hehehehe
turns the page.......

Condom Slogans
Cover your stump before you hump.

Before you attack her, wrap your whacker.

Don`t be silly, protect your willy.

When in doubt, shroud your sprout.

Don`t be a loner, cover your boner.

You can`t go wrong if you shield your dong.

If you`re not going to sack it, go home and whack it.

If you think she`s spunky, cover your monkey.

If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize.

It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.

She won`t get sick if you wrap your dick.

If you go into heat, package your meat.

While you`re undressing Venus, dress up that penis.

When you take off her pants and blouse,
dress up your trouser mouse.

Especially in December, gift wrap your member.

Never deck her with an unwrapped pecker.

Don`t be a fool, vulcanize your tool.

The right selection! Protect your erection!

Wrap it in foil before checking her oil.

A crank with armor will never harm her.

If you really love her, wear a cover.

Don`t make a mistake, muzzle your snake.

Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener.

If you can`t shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket.

No glove, no love!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well that was enlightening"
heheheehehehhe..turns the page...

Deer nuts or beer nuts?
What's the difference between
beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are a $1.25 but
deer nuts are always under a buck.

lmao...ok...I think one taste better
would be my answer...no, I hear you laughing...lol
turns the page....


The Cookies

The woman arrived at an airport one night
With several long hours before her flight.

She hunted for a book in the airport shop,
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.

She was engrossed in her book but happened to see,
That the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be,

Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between,
Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene.

So she munched the cookies and watched the clock,
As the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock.

She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,
Thinking, "If I wasn't so nice, I would blacken his eye."

With each cookie she took, he took one too,
When only one was left, she wondered what he would do.

With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh,
He took the last cookie and broke it in half.

He offered her half, as he ate the other,
She snatched it from him and thought . ooh, brother!

This guy has some nerve and he's also rude,
Why he didn't even show any gratitude!

She had never known when she had been so galled,
And sighed with relief when her flight was called.

She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate,
Refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate.

She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat,
Then she sought her book, which was almost complete.

As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise,
There was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes.

If mine are here, she moaned in despair,
The others were his, and he tried to share.

Too late to apologize, she realized with grief,
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief!

How many times have we absolutely known that something was a certain
way, only to discover later that what we believed to be true ... was not?

Keep An Open Mind And An Open Heart, Because ... You Just Never Know -
Ya might be eating someone else's cookies ...


Author Unknown~~~~~~~~~~~~

turns the page.....looks at you and smiles....

Nightly Comment: I saw a mug at my moms today...
it said " friends are like chocolate chip cookies....
I said "Mom, what does this mean..?" she said that
friends are favorable..."..I said "Oh ok, untill the heat
is on and they melt away I get it now..."..hehehehehe

Nightly read: I have a treat for you...I had a story post
that is pretty good ..well I think so..and so do a few...
Crotching Tiger & Ridden Dragon Ch. 08 Yeah I know a chapter 8???
well it could stand by itself and is a great addition...
any way enjoy...and please read at least once a day...
its good brain food and exercises the membrane...grin

"Night Night" turns out the light....

 

[cookiejar]

Lots of cookie references tonight Art...

I love your little night nights.