My Erotic Tale
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2004
- Posts
- 3,359
Night Night tale
My NEW TALE~
Here's a Night Night...
to make you smile!
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to
examine a ten-year-old Blue Heeler named
Belker. The dog's owner- Ron, his wife, Lisa,
and their little boy, Shane - were all very
attached to Belker and they were hoping for
a miracle. I examined Belker and found he
was dying of cancer. I told the family there
were no miracles left for Belker, and offered
to perform the euthanasia procedure for the
old dog in their home. As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they
thought it would
be good for the four-year-old Shane to observe
the procedure. They felt Shane could learn
something from the experience. The next day,
I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's
family surrounded him.
Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for
the last time, that I wondered if he understood
what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker
slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed
to accept Belker's transition without! t any difficulty
or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering
aloud about the sad
fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up,
"I know why." Startled, we all turned to him.
What came out of his mouth next stunned me -
I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.
He said, "Everybody is born so that they
can learn how to live a good life- like loving
everybody and being nice, right?" The four-
year-old continued, "Well, animals already
know how to do that, so they don't have
to stay as long."
.......................................................................................................................
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to
purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed
their own stock. They only have $600 left.
Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide
to
buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides
she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no
less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a
telegram
to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says,
"I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull
for
our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out
here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds,
"It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette
only
has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one
word.
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her
the word "comfortable."
The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want
her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul
that bull
back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it
very
slowly ... com-for-da-bul.
...............................................................................................................
When the power mower was broken and wouldn't run. I kept hinting to my
husband that he ought to get it fixed, but somehow the message never
sank in.
Finally, though, I thought of a clever way to make my point.
When my husband arrived home that day, he found me seated out in the
yard in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of
sewing
scissors.
He watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. He
was gone only a few moments, when he came out again he handed me a
toothbrush.
"When you finish cutting the grass," he said, "you
might as well sweep
the sidewalk too."
The doctors say he will probably live, but I can guarantee you, it
will
be quite a while before those casts come off!"
=============================================
A young Mexican man walked into the local welfare office, marched
straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I'm looking for a
job."
The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing.
We've just
got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffer/bodyguard
for
his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big black
Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided.
Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and
you'll also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas
holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year."
The Mexican said, "Ah c'mon, you're bullshi**ing me!".
The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it!".
=============================================
One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The teacher
was
going to explain evolution to the children.
The teacher asked a little boy: Tommy do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God?
TOMMY: No.
TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see God because he isn't there.
He
just
doesn't exist.
A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions.
The teacher agreed and the little girl asked the boy:
Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
TOMMY: Yes
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
TOMMY: No
LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we were taught today in school,
she
must not have one!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her Heart
This is a poem that was inspired to try and touch
on a touchy topic, danced around the topic and wound
up with this poem and I would love to hear
your opinion. I find its one of my better...
And the poem I originally started
is still brewing. he he he
"Night Night" Turns out the light...
My NEW TALE~
Here's a Night Night...
to make you smile!
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to
examine a ten-year-old Blue Heeler named
Belker. The dog's owner- Ron, his wife, Lisa,
and their little boy, Shane - were all very
attached to Belker and they were hoping for
a miracle. I examined Belker and found he
was dying of cancer. I told the family there
were no miracles left for Belker, and offered
to perform the euthanasia procedure for the
old dog in their home. As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they
thought it would
be good for the four-year-old Shane to observe
the procedure. They felt Shane could learn
something from the experience. The next day,
I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's
family surrounded him.
Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for
the last time, that I wondered if he understood
what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker
slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed
to accept Belker's transition without! t any difficulty
or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering
aloud about the sad
fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up,
"I know why." Startled, we all turned to him.
What came out of his mouth next stunned me -
I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.
He said, "Everybody is born so that they
can learn how to live a good life- like loving
everybody and being nice, right?" The four-
year-old continued, "Well, animals already
know how to do that, so they don't have
to stay as long."
.......................................................................................................................
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to
purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed
their own stock. They only have $600 left.
Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide
to
buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides
she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no
less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a
telegram
to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says,
"I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull
for
our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out
here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds,
"It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette
only
has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one
word.
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her
the word "comfortable."
The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want
her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul
that bull
back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it
very
slowly ... com-for-da-bul.
...............................................................................................................
When the power mower was broken and wouldn't run. I kept hinting to my
husband that he ought to get it fixed, but somehow the message never
sank in.
Finally, though, I thought of a clever way to make my point.
When my husband arrived home that day, he found me seated out in the
yard in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of
sewing
scissors.
He watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. He
was gone only a few moments, when he came out again he handed me a
toothbrush.
"When you finish cutting the grass," he said, "you
might as well sweep
the sidewalk too."
The doctors say he will probably live, but I can guarantee you, it
will
be quite a while before those casts come off!"
=============================================
A young Mexican man walked into the local welfare office, marched
straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I'm looking for a
job."
The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing.
We've just
got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffer/bodyguard
for
his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big black
Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided.
Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and
you'll also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas
holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year."
The Mexican said, "Ah c'mon, you're bullshi**ing me!".
The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it!".
=============================================
One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The teacher
was
going to explain evolution to the children.
The teacher asked a little boy: Tommy do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God?
TOMMY: No.
TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see God because he isn't there.
He
just
doesn't exist.
A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions.
The teacher agreed and the little girl asked the boy:
Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
TOMMY: Yes
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
TOMMY: No
LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we were taught today in school,
she
must not have one!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her Heart
This is a poem that was inspired to try and touch
on a touchy topic, danced around the topic and wound
up with this poem and I would love to hear
your opinion. I find its one of my better...
And the poem I originally started
is still brewing. he he he
"Night Night" Turns out the light...
