Newbie Dom/Sub couple have questions..

[Miss_Puss]

i know that there are as many ways to have this relationship as there are people who are into it... but i wondered how many of you do it the way we are trying?

we have a way of showing that normal roles have switched and now hes in control.... we would not want to always be in the roles as we are getting married and like how equal we are in other dimensions of our lives.

however, when it comes to sex, he dominates me completely. and i love it. its what ive always wanted.

we currently have a safe word which as yet neither have used... we are exploring toys, dressing up and some public instances.

he is becoming more confident with it and i am becoming more and more turned on every day.

so, we wanted to know if anyone can give us some ideas or tips?

i love the consentual non consensual ideas, and they are the kind of stories i like. he really loves anal play and when first together we did this alot... but since recent cosmetic surgery for myself i suffered slightly with being backed up for a couple of weeks so to speak and since then it REALLY hurts and were both reallty upset about it and want to get back into it.

what other areas can we explore... and how does he get more confident and really let himself go?

 

[Daddyslilpet]

The best advice I can offer you is to communicate openly and honestly with each other always.

Also being married doesn't hinder the D/s relationship in my experience (as I am married to my Dom) it only enhances it for me. However, there are many who only do this as a bedroom activity and that is fine too. There are no set rules and regulations you have to follow.

Something you might consider to help you gather ideas on things to try is finding an on-line BDSM checklist and filling it out (there are many listed in the library thread at the top of this forum... my favorite is on Soul's Haven ). I would suggest you each fill one out then go over them together to see where your interests mesh and to help open up those lines of communication I mentioned in the beginning of this post.

Most of all, relax, enjoy your journey and realize that you have the rest of your lives together to explore. Best of luck to you both.

 

[gingermango]

The best advice I can offer you is to communicate openly and honestly with each other always.

Let me second that. I'm another example of a sub married to his Dominant. She's the best thing in the world that's ever happened to me, but we are both people with real feelings, real emotions and real experiences that we bring to the table. You have to be willing and able to communicate well about everything (physical and emotional well-being especially) if you want the D/s relationship to grow and thrive.

Another thing to remember that's similar but not quite the same: the rules must ALWAYS be subject to change as you both grow and evolve together. Some things that were off the table might become okay as you explore together. Other things that sounded great at one point might become unacceptable to either of you later on. That's natural and healthy - a sign that the relationship is flexible and can accommodate change and growth, not static and stifling.

Anyway, just some advice from a lifetime-sub now happily midway through his seventh year with his Goddess (and wife).