Harryin VA
Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2006
- Posts
- 34
I think Back to bristol is the boggest piece of shit ever written on this web site
SEVERUSMAX said:
New Story Reviews (volunteers welcome!)
- Thread starter FallingToFly
- Start date
SEVERUSMAX
Benevolent Master
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2004
- Posts
- 28,995
Harryin VA said:
There is a place for comments of your sort. It isn't here.
BrettJ
Romantic & Kinky nutbar
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2005
- Posts
- 24,901
Reviews
Having had a few slams, that is not the way to write a review.
Why didn't you like the story? Grammar, pacing ... saying something is a piece of s**t ISN'T a review.
Just telling someone you liked the story isn't a review wither, although it might make them feel okay. Any writer worth his / her salt always wants to grow.
BrettJ
Writer / Creator / Sensualist
Having had a few slams, that is not the way to write a review.
Why didn't you like the story? Grammar, pacing ... saying something is a piece of s**t ISN'T a review.
Just telling someone you liked the story isn't a review wither, although it might make them feel okay. Any writer worth his / her salt always wants to grow.
BrettJ
Writer / Creator / Sensualist
BarondeSade
Experienced
- Joined
- May 13, 2006
- Posts
- 84
Hell in a hand basket...
Boy, has this place gone to hell in a handbasket...what happened to the moderator who used to be in charge and did such a good job of it...
No rules now?????
Boy, has this place gone to hell in a handbasket...what happened to the moderator who used to be in charge and did such a good job of it...
No rules now?????
rgraham666
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2004
- Posts
- 43,717
There's never been a moderator here, so far as I know.
BarondeSade
Experienced
- Joined
- May 13, 2006
- Posts
- 84
Maybe not, but...
At least there was someone who use to ride herd on the bunch and point them to the right place to voice comments...And I know that I'm guilty of the same thing by posting this...oh, well...
At least there was someone who use to ride herd on the bunch and point them to the right place to voice comments...And I know that I'm guilty of the same thing by posting this...oh, well...
SEVERUSMAX
Benevolent Master
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2004
- Posts
- 28,995
BarondeSade said:
I don't know much about that, beyond the fact that Lizzy used to read the riot act to people who commented in the wrong place....back when she was a Reviewer. Personally, I feel sad that so many of us left...including me for a while.
With Falling, Lizzy, or Selena...it just hasn't been the same. Nothing against the rest of us, but after they left, certain days just didn't get reviews. When I moved to Sunday, it got worse. So some of the blame is mine.
Last edited:
cawastedyouth
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2006
- Posts
- 102
I actually haven't found much that I've wanted to review, and I'm not a regular reviewer here. We've been busy with either our own stories or own lives. That just happens.
RogueLurker
gone
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2005
- Posts
- 2,919
The Naked Girl in the Garden
CAP811
Category: Romance
I actually read this yesterday but it's stayed with me since then. This story got an elusive E and I think that it's well-deserved. A Naked Girl in the Garden is a wonderfully heartfelt story and I strongly recommend it. There is a hint of eroticism, but the story is character driven, focusing on an older couple who are trapped in a rather cynical relationship. CAP811 weaves a wonderfully romantic tale that takes the reader where you wouldn't expect - but leaves you with a warm feeling. I don't want to spoil the story - so read it. And enjoy it.
CAP811
Category: Romance
I actually read this yesterday but it's stayed with me since then. This story got an elusive E and I think that it's well-deserved. A Naked Girl in the Garden is a wonderfully heartfelt story and I strongly recommend it. There is a hint of eroticism, but the story is character driven, focusing on an older couple who are trapped in a rather cynical relationship. CAP811 weaves a wonderfully romantic tale that takes the reader where you wouldn't expect - but leaves you with a warm feeling. I don't want to spoil the story - so read it. And enjoy it.
TitianaPeaks
Writer of wet dreams
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2007
- Posts
- 4,067
Ok, I must humbly apologize for my last submission of a story. Not my best. Too hurried. Needed more development.
M
MzDeviancy
Guest
Do you have to review new stories only, or can you review old ones as well?
RedHairedandFriendly
Too much red on Red?
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2005
- Posts
- 112,724
Comments/Suggestions for the New Story Review Thread
Hey folks. . .
Yes, real life gets in the way of Lit life, though for many of us Lit life is a big part of our real lives.
I've not reviewed stories in ages, simply because I couldn't devote the time to it like I had before. Please remember. . .this is all volunteer, we reviewers aren't paid to do this. We simply do it because we want to. Everyone reviews differently. There is no moderator and comments have been posted randomly throughout this thread and it'll happen again after this post. It's natural.
To answer the question on "Old" or only "New" Stories. . . You can review old stories too. We put them under the category "Blast from the Past" - We let the reader know that it is an old story. Also it is very helpful to provide a link to the story for the readers. If you don't know how to put a link in to the post, just go to the address bar of the story and copy it, then paste it back into the post you've written up for your review. It's also helpful to list the Category the story is in. Some reviewers will give a link to the author's submission page as well. I don't do that; I figure the link to the story works fine, if they like the writer enough they can find the submission page just by clicking the author's name at the top of the story. *shrugs* Again, this is just my way of doing things.
I used to do Saturdays or was it Wednesdays? I forget, it's been a while. Again, the Comment/Suggestion thread is HERE <<< Just a click away.
~ Red
Hey folks. . .
Yes, real life gets in the way of Lit life, though for many of us Lit life is a big part of our real lives.
I've not reviewed stories in ages, simply because I couldn't devote the time to it like I had before. Please remember. . .this is all volunteer, we reviewers aren't paid to do this. We simply do it because we want to. Everyone reviews differently. There is no moderator and comments have been posted randomly throughout this thread and it'll happen again after this post. It's natural.
To answer the question on "Old" or only "New" Stories. . . You can review old stories too. We put them under the category "Blast from the Past" - We let the reader know that it is an old story. Also it is very helpful to provide a link to the story for the readers. If you don't know how to put a link in to the post, just go to the address bar of the story and copy it, then paste it back into the post you've written up for your review. It's also helpful to list the Category the story is in. Some reviewers will give a link to the author's submission page as well. I don't do that; I figure the link to the story works fine, if they like the writer enough they can find the submission page just by clicking the author's name at the top of the story. *shrugs* Again, this is just my way of doing things.
I used to do Saturdays or was it Wednesdays? I forget, it's been a while. Again, the Comment/Suggestion thread is HERE <<< Just a click away.
~ Red
RogueLurker
gone
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2005
- Posts
- 2,919
Quo Vadis?
by
CrimsonLotus
Category: Lesbian Sex
For those looking for an excellent story with a strong romance theme, this is definitely a winner. Crimson Lotus has written a wonderfully rich and textured story around a disaffected young woman from a wealthy family who's search for meaning and direction leads her to Alessandra. There's a nice build up as their relationship develops and more than enough heat between them to qualify this as erotica. Wonderfully paced with intriguing characters, this is well worth the read.
by
CrimsonLotus
Category: Lesbian Sex
For those looking for an excellent story with a strong romance theme, this is definitely a winner. Crimson Lotus has written a wonderfully rich and textured story around a disaffected young woman from a wealthy family who's search for meaning and direction leads her to Alessandra. There's a nice build up as their relationship develops and more than enough heat between them to qualify this as erotica. Wonderfully paced with intriguing characters, this is well worth the read.
JacksonWyoming
Virgin
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2007
- Posts
- 1
Time frame for Approval
Can anyone tell me how long it may take for a story to be approved. It's my first time, and I'm waiting for a moderator to pop my cherry.
Can anyone tell me how long it may take for a story to be approved. It's my first time, and I'm waiting for a moderator to pop my cherry.
RogueLurker
gone
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2005
- Posts
- 2,919
JacksonWyoming said:Can anyone tell me how long it may take for a story to be approved. It's my first time, and I'm waiting for a moderator to pop my cherry.
It can take anywhere from 3 to 7 days - depends on how many stories the site is recieving at any given time.
Now, since you posted on the review thread - you must review a story.
Iconoclast99
Experienced
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2007
- Posts
- 88
Review - Sex Education by Baxter72
I am starting to examine writing more thoroughly now in order to improve my own writing to the point where I can actually write something worth posting. Reviewing others’ stories is part of that process. By the way, my spelling is Canadian English. Deal with it.
Date posted: Nov 3, 2007 and Nov 4, 2007
Story name:Sex Education Ch. 01
and Sex Education Ch. 02
Author: Baxter72
Category: Exhibitionist & Voyeur
These are two fairly short stories which form a single narrative. Chapter two definitely closes the story, so the entire tale is contained within the two chapters.
Good and bad points: To get the technical part of this out of the way, I found no obvious or jarring spelling or grammar errors. The writer has submitted over forty stories to Lit in the last two years and obviously takes the time to proof his work.
Now for the real meat of the story. The plot is a fairly standard one for this category, of a teacher having some of his students demonstrate sexual acts in front of his Sex Ed class for the edification of the students and for his own jollies. There is a lot of narrative explanation in both chapters which moves the story along but tends to be a more tedious read than the “show, don’t tell” admonition of some of the better writers here.
When dialogue entered the story it did very little to advance either the plot or the characterization. I was unsatisfied with the simplistic way in which the request to perform sex acts in front of the class was accepted by the students. The characters of both the teacher and the students seemed more like cardboard cut-outs than real people.
One thing I look for in stories is an original point of view or topic, for which I can forgive a lot of deficiencies in other aspects of the story. This tale unfortunately did not qualify for that extra bonus. There were some points in the story where a sense of verbal humour showed through. I just wish the author had included some more of this word-play.
Erotic elements: The sex itself was pretty bland, with little feeling. Definitely a class project feel rather than a sex romp.
Iconoclast
I am starting to examine writing more thoroughly now in order to improve my own writing to the point where I can actually write something worth posting. Reviewing others’ stories is part of that process. By the way, my spelling is Canadian English. Deal with it.
Date posted: Nov 3, 2007 and Nov 4, 2007
Story name:Sex Education Ch. 01
and Sex Education Ch. 02
Author: Baxter72
Category: Exhibitionist & Voyeur
These are two fairly short stories which form a single narrative. Chapter two definitely closes the story, so the entire tale is contained within the two chapters.
Good and bad points: To get the technical part of this out of the way, I found no obvious or jarring spelling or grammar errors. The writer has submitted over forty stories to Lit in the last two years and obviously takes the time to proof his work.
Now for the real meat of the story. The plot is a fairly standard one for this category, of a teacher having some of his students demonstrate sexual acts in front of his Sex Ed class for the edification of the students and for his own jollies. There is a lot of narrative explanation in both chapters which moves the story along but tends to be a more tedious read than the “show, don’t tell” admonition of some of the better writers here.
When dialogue entered the story it did very little to advance either the plot or the characterization. I was unsatisfied with the simplistic way in which the request to perform sex acts in front of the class was accepted by the students. The characters of both the teacher and the students seemed more like cardboard cut-outs than real people.
One thing I look for in stories is an original point of view or topic, for which I can forgive a lot of deficiencies in other aspects of the story. This tale unfortunately did not qualify for that extra bonus. There were some points in the story where a sense of verbal humour showed through. I just wish the author had included some more of this word-play.
Erotic elements: The sex itself was pretty bland, with little feeling. Definitely a class project feel rather than a sex romp.
Iconoclast
Iconoclast99
Experienced
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2007
- Posts
- 88
Walter's Alignment by Flashlight7.5
The latest iteration of my journey of discovery to learn what makes good writing. Or at least writing that I like.
Date Posted: November 10, 2007
Story name: Walter's Alignment
Author: Flashlight7.5
Category: Erotic Couplings
Location: http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=336894
Good and bad points: The technical aspects of the story were very well done. Spelling and grammar were consistently good, and if there were any errors I did not notice them. That said there was one unfortunate sentence which I did consider incorrect grammatically. Unfortunately it was the very first sentence. This read "Your chakras need realigned."
To my way of thinking this should have been either "Your chakras need realignment." or "Your chakras need to be realigned." I suspect that the author meant to say the latter but it somehow got missed in the editing process.
Once I got past that hurdle the rest of the story was very well done indeed, and had all of the elements needed to make a good tightly told story. The characters were realistic and empathetic, the plot was realistic and there was a legitimate change in the character of the protagonist.
One thing I appreciated was that I actually learned something during the telling of the story arc. Another was a fantasy element which, although foreshadowed early in the story was a surprise left to the end.
Erotic elements: Very well done, and it was nice to have two characters who did not have oversized equipment and who actually took pleasure in coming together.
All in all I found this a good read well worth the time spent.
Iconoclast
The latest iteration of my journey of discovery to learn what makes good writing. Or at least writing that I like.
Date Posted: November 10, 2007
Story name: Walter's Alignment
Author: Flashlight7.5
Category: Erotic Couplings
Location: http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=336894
Good and bad points: The technical aspects of the story were very well done. Spelling and grammar were consistently good, and if there were any errors I did not notice them. That said there was one unfortunate sentence which I did consider incorrect grammatically. Unfortunately it was the very first sentence. This read "Your chakras need realigned."
To my way of thinking this should have been either "Your chakras need realignment." or "Your chakras need to be realigned." I suspect that the author meant to say the latter but it somehow got missed in the editing process.
Once I got past that hurdle the rest of the story was very well done indeed, and had all of the elements needed to make a good tightly told story. The characters were realistic and empathetic, the plot was realistic and there was a legitimate change in the character of the protagonist.
One thing I appreciated was that I actually learned something during the telling of the story arc. Another was a fantasy element which, although foreshadowed early in the story was a surprise left to the end.
Erotic elements: Very well done, and it was nice to have two characters who did not have oversized equipment and who actually took pleasure in coming together.
All in all I found this a good read well worth the time spent.
Iconoclast
Handley_Page
Draco interdum Vincit
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2007
- Posts
- 78,287
RogueLurker said:
I read it and also enjoyed it; it was everything one could wish for.
cawastedyouth
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2006
- Posts
- 102
I came across Part 2 to this story by sethskitten and while there are moments in Niah that I'm confused about (either because I read too fast or because I'm not sure where the story is quite going) but I find the story fresh and interesting. The bonding that happens in this were-family is brought across in such a manner that I only really associate with just the December season. I think it brings a nice touch to this year. [Please keep in mind that the story is not a holiday story.]
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=340884
by Sethskitten
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=340884
by Sethskitten
Selena_Kitt
Disappearing
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2004
- Posts
- 12,336
Goddess Within by Dr_Mabeuse brings to fruition everything he was looking to explore in the "Female Public Autoarousal" thread - what is it about a woman who can't touch herself in front of someone else? What is that inhibition - and how can it be broken?
This is a wild ride, a truly amazing experience, and I'm in awe of Doc's ability to draw the reader in, just as the main character gets drawn in, tempted further with delights at every turn.
I love how he takes this from the mechanical to the human, bringing us instantly back to the connection of flesh.
What a divine experience he has woven, from beginning to end, taking us on a journey, leading us on bit by bit, making the perceived "taboo" feel less and less forbidden - and more and more alluring - every minute that goes by. His description, as always, is sublime - every sensation detailed with an artful brush stroke. And by the time Claire is ready to do what she was meant to do, I was more than ready, too - ridiculously hot, wet, and desperate for relief.
But damnit... I wanna ride that pony!
********
Don't forget to Read, Comment and Vote!
Please also remember to direct any COMMENTS or QUESTIONS about these reviews HERE. Thanks!
This is a wild ride, a truly amazing experience, and I'm in awe of Doc's ability to draw the reader in, just as the main character gets drawn in, tempted further with delights at every turn.
I love how he takes this from the mechanical to the human, bringing us instantly back to the connection of flesh.
What a divine experience he has woven, from beginning to end, taking us on a journey, leading us on bit by bit, making the perceived "taboo" feel less and less forbidden - and more and more alluring - every minute that goes by. His description, as always, is sublime - every sensation detailed with an artful brush stroke. And by the time Claire is ready to do what she was meant to do, I was more than ready, too - ridiculously hot, wet, and desperate for relief.
But damnit... I wanna ride that pony!
********
Don't forget to Read, Comment and Vote!
Please also remember to direct any COMMENTS or QUESTIONS about these reviews HERE. Thanks!
Last edited:
Betterwood
Virgin
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2008
- Posts
- 21
ok I'll review or edit swinger stories consenting adults only, kind quick gentle turnaround. Authors send me your draft.
Jenny_Jackson
Psycho Bitch
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2006
- Posts
- 10,872
therockvsscsa
Virgin
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2008
- Posts
- 4
It wasn't my day, but I was awake and saw my How To was up and I started reading the other How To's I've only read the entries that were listed this morning which were angelicminx, sophia jane, My Erotic Tale, cheetah83, oggbashan, DG Hear, Munachi.
I look forward to reading the others. I recommend all of these. Each one was unique and different. I truly enjoyed them all, some more than I thought I would.
nice work man
RedHairedandFriendly
Too much red on Red?
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2005
- Posts
- 112,724
Eirin - Nonconsent/Reluctance
I've not reviewed a story on Lit in quite a long time and not because I don't enjoy doing them, I just haven't had the drive to. Recently I was asked to look at a new writer's first story and review it. I agreed and waited for the new piece to come out. Well, in reality the writer's second story came out first and I read that, enjoyed it very much too and look forward to the upcoming chapter. However that second story wasn't the one that I was asked to review, so I didn't. I simply read it as a reader would a story, not as a volunteer reviewer would.
The following review is only my opinion.
Eirin – NonConsent/Reluctance – meg1 – approved on 04/14/08
Meg starts off letting the reader know that based on responses this story will be a multi-chapter story. Which means I guess that if folks like it, she'll go with chapter two, three, four...etc. I would have liked to see her commit to writing the chapters, not for the readers but for herself. So right off the bat I'd send Lit a request to put a chapter 01 behind the title. Write the story for you first, the readers second.
The story itself is not historically accurate, another note by the writer, and that's fine with me. I think enough people that read stories like this can picture what is happening in their own mind as far as type of dress and environment the characters live in. As for authentic speech you lose a bit of the fun that one gets when reading an “old English” work when a writer uses more modern tone. But again, if a story has worth then even that can be overlooked.
Eirin starts out at a fast hurried pace. It moves rapidly from point A to point B and the reader is quickly realizing what is going to happen because there is no suspense in how Eirin gets put in the mess she's put in. A bit rushed in my opinion, but it's kinda hard not to fall into that cliché hero/heroine technique that is so familiar in romance stories.
The reader should definitely not care all that much for the Dad in this story or the spoiled daughter. And honestly the hero of the story, the pompass Lord, shouldn't be all that liked either. Meg's got some work ahead of her to make me like him. I look forward to seeing how she turns this Lord into something a reader roots for in the end. Unless that's not her plan and that would also draw me in and keep me reading. I do love twists, turns and tangles. She did very well in showing us the true nature of the “baddies.”
The story ends with that suspense we are looking for. Our heroine is found unconscious after her not so pleasant entry into the world of sex. I'm curious as to what will happen in Chapter Two. Why is Eirin lying in a pool of blood? The explanation in chapter two needs to be more realistic in my opinion than a simple “bumped her head” and “lost her virginity”.
Meg does very well with grammar and punctuation, which I know for many readers is a big deal. I personally know from experience that you'll occasionally miss something and no one ever puts out a perfect piece without someone saying... that comma shouldn't be there, or that is a run on sentence.
Would I recommend this story... Yes and no. Yes, if you don't mind the Nonconsent/Reluctance genre and you are one to read a story that gets right to the point, with no dilly-dallying about. I wouldn't recommend it if you are looking for a slow build up of what is to come.
Will I read chapter two if meg produces it? Yes I will... I am curious as to what will happen. I do believe chapter two needs to be able to keep me hooked enough to ask for a third chapter.
Again, for all those that read this... it's just an opinion on a story, not the writer herself. I like Meg and have a great respect for anyone that puts a story out on lit, even more respect when that person allows another to review it at the suggestion of a friend.
I've not reviewed a story on Lit in quite a long time and not because I don't enjoy doing them, I just haven't had the drive to. Recently I was asked to look at a new writer's first story and review it. I agreed and waited for the new piece to come out. Well, in reality the writer's second story came out first and I read that, enjoyed it very much too and look forward to the upcoming chapter. However that second story wasn't the one that I was asked to review, so I didn't. I simply read it as a reader would a story, not as a volunteer reviewer would.
The following review is only my opinion.
Eirin – NonConsent/Reluctance – meg1 – approved on 04/14/08
Meg starts off letting the reader know that based on responses this story will be a multi-chapter story. Which means I guess that if folks like it, she'll go with chapter two, three, four...etc. I would have liked to see her commit to writing the chapters, not for the readers but for herself. So right off the bat I'd send Lit a request to put a chapter 01 behind the title. Write the story for you first, the readers second.
The story itself is not historically accurate, another note by the writer, and that's fine with me. I think enough people that read stories like this can picture what is happening in their own mind as far as type of dress and environment the characters live in. As for authentic speech you lose a bit of the fun that one gets when reading an “old English” work when a writer uses more modern tone. But again, if a story has worth then even that can be overlooked.
Eirin starts out at a fast hurried pace. It moves rapidly from point A to point B and the reader is quickly realizing what is going to happen because there is no suspense in how Eirin gets put in the mess she's put in. A bit rushed in my opinion, but it's kinda hard not to fall into that cliché hero/heroine technique that is so familiar in romance stories.
The reader should definitely not care all that much for the Dad in this story or the spoiled daughter. And honestly the hero of the story, the pompass Lord, shouldn't be all that liked either. Meg's got some work ahead of her to make me like him. I look forward to seeing how she turns this Lord into something a reader roots for in the end. Unless that's not her plan and that would also draw me in and keep me reading. I do love twists, turns and tangles. She did very well in showing us the true nature of the “baddies.”
The story ends with that suspense we are looking for. Our heroine is found unconscious after her not so pleasant entry into the world of sex. I'm curious as to what will happen in Chapter Two. Why is Eirin lying in a pool of blood? The explanation in chapter two needs to be more realistic in my opinion than a simple “bumped her head” and “lost her virginity”.
Meg does very well with grammar and punctuation, which I know for many readers is a big deal. I personally know from experience that you'll occasionally miss something and no one ever puts out a perfect piece without someone saying... that comma shouldn't be there, or that is a run on sentence.
Would I recommend this story... Yes and no. Yes, if you don't mind the Nonconsent/Reluctance genre and you are one to read a story that gets right to the point, with no dilly-dallying about. I wouldn't recommend it if you are looking for a slow build up of what is to come.
Will I read chapter two if meg produces it? Yes I will... I am curious as to what will happen. I do believe chapter two needs to be able to keep me hooked enough to ask for a third chapter.
Again, for all those that read this... it's just an opinion on a story, not the writer herself. I like Meg and have a great respect for anyone that puts a story out on lit, even more respect when that person allows another to review it at the suggestion of a friend.
meg1
livingroom
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2008
- Posts
- 4,351
Thank you for your honest reply, Red. I hope you do read chapter two, it has already been submitted, and should be out next week. Honestly, I have already written quite a bit (4 chapts so far), however, if comments are negative, I will wrap up the story for them, instead of leaving them hanging.I've not reviewed a story on Lit in quite a long time and not because I don't enjoy doing them, I just haven't had the drive to. Recently I was asked to look at a new writer's first story and review it. I agreed and waited for the new piece to come out. Well, in reality the writer's second story came out first and I read that, enjoyed it very much too and look forward to the upcoming chapter. However that second story wasn't the one that I was asked to review, so I didn't. I simply read it as a reader would a story, not as a volunteer reviewer would.
The following review is only my opinion.
Eirin – NonConsent/Reluctance – meg1 – approved on 04/14/08
Meg starts off letting the reader know that based on responses this story will be a multi-chapter story. Which means I guess that if folks like it, she'll go with chapter two, three, four...etc. I would have liked to see her commit to writing the chapters, not for the readers but for herself. So right off the bat I'd send Lit a request to put a chapter 01 behind the title. Write the story for you first, the readers second.
The story itself is not historically accurate, another note by the writer, and that's fine with me. I think enough people that read stories like this can picture what is happening in their own mind as far as type of dress and environment the characters live in. As for authentic speech you lose a bit of the fun that one gets when reading an “old English” work when a writer uses more modern tone. But again, if a story has worth then even that can be overlooked.
Eirin starts out at a fast hurried pace. It moves rapidly from point A to point B and the reader is quickly realizing what is going to happen because there is no suspense in how Eirin gets put in the mess she's put in. A bit rushed in my opinion, but it's kinda hard not to fall into that cliché hero/heroine technique that is so familiar in romance stories.
The reader should definitely not care all that much for the Dad in this story or the spoiled daughter. And honestly the hero of the story, the pompass Lord, shouldn't be all that liked either. Meg's got some work ahead of her to make me like him. I look forward to seeing how she turns this Lord into something a reader roots for in the end. Unless that's not her plan and that would also draw me in and keep me reading. I do love twists, turns and tangles. She did very well in showing us the true nature of the “baddies.”
The story ends with that suspense we are looking for. Our heroine is found unconscious after her not so pleasant entry into the world of sex. I'm curious as to what will happen in Chapter Two. Why is Eirin lying in a pool of blood? The explanation in chapter two needs to be more realistic in my opinion than a simple “bumped her head” and “lost her virginity”.
Meg does very well with grammar and punctuation, which I know for many readers is a big deal. I personally know from experience that you'll occasionally miss something and no one ever puts out a perfect piece without someone saying... that comma shouldn't be there, or that is a run on sentence.
Would I recommend this story... Yes and no. Yes, if you don't mind the Nonconsent/Reluctance genre and you are one to read a story that gets right to the point, with no dilly-dallying about. I wouldn't recommend it if you are looking for a slow build up of what is to come.
Will I read chapter two if meg produces it? Yes I will... I am curious as to what will happen. I do believe chapter two needs to be able to keep me hooked enough to ask for a third chapter.
Again, for all those that read this... it's just an opinion on a story, not the writer herself. I like Meg and have a great respect for anyone that puts a story out on lit, even more respect when that person allows another to review it at the suggestion of a friend.
You have set a big task for me, and I hope that you feel I meet it once you read the rest of them. I have put twists into it, and have more planned, so I'm hoping to keep you on your toes!
Thanks again
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