New Dom for me!

[SubmissiveDove5]

I do get SSI, but it's a very small amount of money, and according to the state, because I'm an adult they can't help me with legal stuff unless I get physically harmed. As far as the aid goes, the state told me I'm not eligible because of my age. I think it's a bunch of crap, but this is what they tell me. I've kind of given up trying to gget stuff from the state because they give me all sorts of excuses why they can't help. It's just another let down as far as I'm concerned.

 

[Kajira Callista]

I do get SSI, but it's a very small amount of money, and according to the state, because I'm an adult they can't help me with legal stuff unless I get physically harmed. As far as the aid goes, the state told me I'm not eligible because of my age. I think it's a bunch of crap, but this is what they tell me. I've kind of given up trying to gget stuff from the state because they give me all sorts of excuses why they can't help. It's just another let down as far as I'm concerned.

how about a companion dog?

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

I would love to have a companion dog! The rehab counselor I had had one. She is very good at helping her. I did look into it a while back. It costs $6300 just to go to Prinston NJ to train with a dog for six weeks. Isn't that ridiculous. And again, there was the problem with travel. I found out that if I went to train in NJ, there would be accomatable facilities, and there would be people working there to help me get around if I needed it. I told my parents this, and they still said no.

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

I just wanted to add that I had a discussion with my father this morning. Well, it started as a discussion, then when he kept coming up with excuses it turned into an argument, and then finally, where it always ends up, me in tears because of my frustration. I told him a lot of this everyone has said here because I happen to agree. Anyway, it ended with a sorowful, "I want to you be able to have all the opportunities you have the right to have, but you're in a very vulnerable situation, and there's no way your going anywhere alone." How pathetic is that?

 

[alonelygal]

Re: Change of pace

Recently, a friend of mine told me to make a list of everything that was great about me. He said I could be as conceeded as I wanted to be. So I made a list, and he thought it was very good. Now just to show everyone the good side of me, I'm going to post it.

1) I am smart (Just to expand…I was an honor student throughout my entire primary school career and have maintained a 3.6 gpa in college)

2) I am a very good listener (I seem to have a knack for listening to other people’s problems and have the ability to see the situation objectively)

3) I am very strong willed when it comes to drugs and alcahol (I will not allow myself under any circumstance to become an alcaholic like so many in
my family have had failed at overcoming. I am able to recognize the difference between want and need, and I can honestly say that if ever I decide to drink,
it will be because I want to, not because I need to)

4) I am open-minded

5) I have a good singing voice

6) I am compassionate

7) I am a good writer (I always get anxious when I have to write a paper for a class, but without pressure I enjoy it)

8) I believe that no matter what awful thing someone may have done, everyone has some part of themselves that is good.

9) I have a wide range of interests

10) I love learning new things.

11) I pick up on other languages quickly (I can read Italian pretty well. I may not know what I’m saying, but I can read it)

12) I am very loyal

13) I am an honest person

14) I am attractive

15) I am very obedient.

16) I will listen to any style of music.

17) I am very organized.

18) I always think of others while trying to make a decision.

19) I am a very good typist.

20) I have a photographic memory.

21) I have a good sense of humor.


Now, after I sent my friend this list, he told me this is all the stuff I have to offer a dom. I wouldn't say that I am pathetic, I'd say that I am a generous, caring person, who can't seem to accomplish anything she wants to accomplish because of circumstances she has no control over.

Ok, i usually don't do such big quotes but i have to do this one. i've seen your posts, Dove, and i have been hesitant to respond. i see so much of myself in you, dear heart. i had someone who was on-line...a "master". One reason that i have hesitated to respond to you is that i don't want to lay on your time with Chris anything that went on with me. i have wanted to say so much to you...but i know that some of what i would have said were things that i would have been in no place to hear myself.

First a little about me. i'm a newbie to the Life, myself. i only defined myself a few months ago. i call it this...defined myself...i mean to say that looking back i think that i have alway been this way. Before recently, though, i never realized the power behind who i am, the strength that i have...that strength that it takes to be a sub or a slave. i see that through much of my life i kowtowed to people...trying to please...lowering myself to please others...thinking less of myself if i couldn't please. Letting people walk all over me without a fight because i never thought much of me. i did get a certain pleasure from it, i must admit. But nothing like since i have realized and defined who i am...and lived it out IRL. i now know who i am...i know that i have a certain need... and a certain talent. Anything else you would like to know, hun, feel free to ask...

i have been reading through this thread...and others of yours...i have seen you struggling and at times being so happy and at times, so blue. i have been on this roller coaster myself. Point blank, it stinks. i feel for you, hun...i see so much of myself in your posts. i'm one who doesn't care much for my own pain, but when i see things happening to others, i get ticked off. Especially when those are things that i've been through myself, and that i have survived and learned from.

he told me this is all the stuff I have to offer a dom.

i know you don't know me...but i want you to do something for me...i want you to look at your list. i want you to take every good point individually and see what you have to offer not a Dom...but yourself. Before you can serve anyone else...before you can please anyone else...you need to know YOU. You need to please, YOU. You are important, Dove. You matter. You are, i think from reading your words, a damn fine person. Yes, there are things that may be beyond your control. Yes, there are obstacles. We all have those. For most of us, the hurdles don't include being blind. Maybe they are physical...maybe they are mental...maybe they are financial, even...or family related. But into every life comes a spot of trouble, eventually. i just ask this one things from you, sweetie...just look at your list...your own words...look at what you have to offer YOU.

A site that i have learned much from, on-line, is called The Castle Realm. There are some pages i would like to call your attention to, specifically...
subSpace - Resource center for submissives and Advice for new submissives.

This from the site is somthing that i thought of when i first started reading this thread...

Using the term "Master/ Mistress" Again, this should not be taken lightly and is very much overplayed online. A Dominant is not your Master or Mistress until there is an agreement made between the two of you and an exchange of power has taken place. The more appropriate term "Sir/Ma'am" should be used until you have truly given control of yourself to this person.

Now, to each their own...but this is something that i hold to. i am seeing someone right now. He is a dom and i am respectful with him. But he is not my Master. i call him Sir. But it will take a bit of time and getting to know each other before i will give myself to him...before i will give him the treasure that is me. Then and only then will i call him Master.

You are that, Dove...you are a treasure. You are a special and unique individual. Be you, first and foremost. Then, in time, if things work out...be his. But first just be you.

i wish you strength, happiness and a discerning heart, sis.

joanna

 

[Phoenix Stone]

posting before I finish reading the whole thread

Usually it's better to read, make sure you aren't repeating what others said but... got strike while the brain is hot.

Ideas -- start with ways you're already comfortable being brave, such as online. Google until you find a group for blind college students or young people, so you have peers who understand what you are going through about trying to find independence. (When i had problems producing enough milk for my infant I found a breastfeeding site, I didn't ask at a D/s site, or the stock market site I happened to be more comfortable with.)

I Don't believe like most people say, that feeling good about yourself, independence, etc comes from within. To me, that's like trying to fly by pulling your feet up. I believe this stuff comes from Outside. By Doing stuff which then changes how you feel about yourself. And that you can find a dare-to-do-it buddy, a support group, or whatever you need for those difficult first steps. The first step is the huge one and they all get smaller from there, so take the absolutely smallest first step you can take -- but get moving. One of the things you need is information. Get on the web, get on the phone, and Find Out what those agencies are that can help you get out of the house. Do you need a companion? A seeing-eye dog? A ride? A place to go with people who will welcome you? These things are all out there. You don't need your parents to help you get them, you need access to contacts with others, and the computer or phone are enough.

Go to it.

 

[Kajira Callista]

I agree with PS i just googled services for the blind in RI and got tons of sites. You are 25, your parents should not be telling you that you cant have a companion dog...there are nonprofit orgs that give these trained dogs away for free to ppl like you, instead of being online all day looking for a master, do some research find out where to go and find out how to get someone to get you there.

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

Thanks, I will definitely look into these things more closely. Joanna, thanks too, I appreciate it

 

[heckle]

instead of being online all day looking for a master, do some research find out where to go and find out how to get someone to get you there.

Very well put! Instead of looking for a Dom or a Master, you need to concentrate on yourself first. If I was looking for a slave or submissive, I would not even proceed if the person had issues or was not a strong person. When someone has unresolved issues, they will spend time worrying abotu them or trying to deal with them. The time spent doing that is time that would be taken away from training or service and would not be fair to either person. Until you get your issues resolved, you will not be able to devote yourself and your time to another. It is good that you did a list of what you thought your good points are. But without using those points to resolve other issues, you are chasing your tail. You had one online relationship and seem to be ready to enter into another one. This is not good. Take time to learn about yourself and what your needs are. You cannot give away control without first having the control (well, you can but then you would be a doormat). There are many resources on the internet but, make sure that you check different places and ask questions if you need to. Many people have already given you the same line of advice. You just need to take the advice and use it. I am sure that your parents love you and do not want to see you hurt. But, if they do not give you any room to grow, then you cannto grow. They will not be around forever to protect you. The best way that they can protect you is to let you make mistakes and when you do, to counsel you and make sure you learn from them. The world is not a perfect place nor is it a fair one.

Take care and good luck.

 

[Etoile]

Re: A sub ?????

My lovely young friend,

you are not a sub, and so, do not need a master.
I do not know your history, so you must accept my applologies for being so frank.

Absolutely right. You don't know her. And yet you make such bold statements as "you are not a sub." Come on!

BEWARE!!!!
This site is set up and run by and for people who want sex, cyber-sex,....imaginary sex.....real sex....kinky sex......all kinds of sex, BUT!!! sex is the reason we are all here. Think long and hard before you make any on-line relationship, here or anywhere else, because in one shape or form......we are all preditors, even you with your broken wing.

I wish for you only the things that you desire.

Oh, and you're the only decent human being on here, is that it?

 

[Etoile]

Re: Change of pace

Recently, a friend of mine told me to make a list of everything that was great about me. He said I could be as conceeded as I wanted to be. So I made a list, and he thought it was very good. Now just to show everyone the good side of me, I'm going to post it.

Good for you! I think these lists are an excellent idea, and I'm glad you chose to share yours with us. I think everybody should make a list like this and share it. All too often when I'm depressed (a lot lately) I find myself writing lists of things that I think are bad about me. My girlfriend then takes them and marks them up and proves 95% of the items wrong. I should make a "good things about me" list myself.

 

[Etoile]

By the way, do let me know if you end up visiting this guy in the DC area. (That is, let me know before you come down here!)

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

Etoile

Thanks, I was a bit put off by his/her (not sure) remark about me not being a submissive, lol

After I made my list and sent it to my friend, and he complimented me and all, I did feel better for a while

Maybe you should do a list like I did. I mean, it is really easy to write a list of everything negative, my list would probably be one hundred pages long, lol. I think it's good that your girlfriend proves you wrong on those negative things though.

 

[shelleb4]

Ok, so youve listed many reasons why you cant do things, many examples of being a victim, many examples of why you cant try.

So now what?

This is how your life is,

change it, exist for ever as you are or end it.
three choices - simple.

next!

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

Well, I'm going to ty to go for training in NY for a seeing-eye-dog. I went to the website last night and read up on the programs. I think that is the first step. I think it said it was a twenty-six training program and I'd have to live in the dormatory, which may take some convincing, but maybe I can be perswasive this time.

 

[incubus'_sub]

Hang on, that sounds too positive for you and I'm surprised that the vast number of counsellors you've seen haven't suggested it before. Oh, but of course you will still have to overcome the hurdles of drunken overprotective parents, panic attacks, no money, negative psych reports of the dog trainers, unfriendly fellow students, the dangerous & deadly ramp you have to cross to leave your house, potential attacks by Martians........Perhaps you can find an online Dom who lives near the school, who only wants to be "friends" as well.

There you go, I've found lots of excuses for you to choose from, but maybe you can think of an even better one, you're smart, you told us so.

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

Actually, I did meet a guy who lives closer to me in Boston, but I haven't made him any promises.

Yeah, perhaps I am sounding a little to possitve. My counselors have suggested these things to me in the past. At the time though I was a minor and had my sight (which didn't matter much. I've never had independence) but it was the same old line then too.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Well, I'm going to ty to go for training in NY for a seeing-eye-dog. I went to the website last night and read up on the programs. I think that is the first step. I think it said it was a twenty-six training program and I'd have to live in the dormatory, which may take some convincing, but maybe I can be perswasive this time.

just go...they will pick you up and take you there. now...just a suggestion.. but google assisted living for the blind. they have apt complexes that actually have "safe ramps" and help if you need it. waiting lists are long so if you think you might be interested put you name on the list now.
BTW... you do not have to convince your parents you need a companion dog... if they dont know that and accept that maybe they are also in need of counseling.

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

Thanks KC I will check it out, and you're right about my parents. It's funny...I once said to them, "I'm not the one who needs counseling, you do!" I know I need it too, but I think they need it more. They never went for counseling after I became ill when I was five, and I think their fears and lack of knowledge just manifested to this state of mind or something.

 

[Vixandra]

Hey Dove,
Amazing what one can find with Google (and time to waste, lol)
http://www.eyedogfoundation.org/
http://www.guidedogsofamerica.org/
http://www.guidingeyes.org/bin/training

Just some sites to start with.
You'll never be able to go out in the world or be free if you don't have eyes with you.
Be those your own, those of a friend or those of a seeing eye dog.

Did you know they even have seeing-eye- mini- horses now?!? That's so cool.

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

Thank you Vix! I've added them to my list of links,

Yes, I knew about the ponies. I wish I could have one. Damn residential neighborhood, lol

 

[incubus'_sub]

The counsellors suggested the dog years ago but before you were blind??

 

[Kajira Callista]

Thanks KC I will check it out, and you're right about my parents. It's funny...I once said to them, "I'm not the one who needs counseling, you do!" I know I need it too, but I think they need it more. They never went for counseling after I became ill when I was five, and I think their fears and lack of knowledge just manifested to this state of mind or something.

do you go for counseling? tell your counselor you want family sessions. open your mouth and stand up for yourself before your whole life passes you by darling.

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

They suggested a service dog at the time. One who would just be a companion and help me if I needed it, but now I would qualify for a seeing eye dog. I didn't think there was a difference, but I guess there is.

KC

I don't go for counseling right now. I do think I need it though, so I will be giving them a call.I will say this though, getting my folks to go will be hard. I had them come once a long time ago. I moaned and groaned about having to go, and during te session they agreed with everything my counselor said, but when we went home it was like nothing had ever been said or agreed upon. It was a similar discussion at the time.

 

[incubus'_sub]

KC, you're being really kind & helpful, but read back over this person's posts & her other thread. She's had more help & counsellors than you could poke a stick at, but still chooses to moan & blame others whilst finding endless excuses to do nothing herself. If she is actually real, it appears that she wears people out with her own self pitying inertia and I'm not surprised that the guy Chris escaped as quickly as he could, of course it was his immaturity which caused the problem, not hers.