Need feedback on new upload "Messy Slut" please!

[Mericalovess]

Messy Slut
Not too good with names sometimes haha and I know this one is very average. It includes public, old/young, four men/one woman, female orgasm, and urine(accident).

Thank you in advanced!

 

[TheRedChamber]

This wasn't really my style so I'm not going to comment on it as a whole, but it was so short that I ended up finishing it anyway. Just a few notes.

This feels more like a NonCon story than it does an Exhibitionist one. Fetish at least given the watersports makes up the denument of the story.

That said, the exact moment the MC goes from afraid to enjoying it isn't signalled or explained and the whole piece feels slightly too emotionally disconnected.

You haven't got a lot of dialogue in the story so it's probably best not to bury what you have in the middle of long paragraphs.

Although you mention her buying it, given the role of the large drink, you could have mentioned her drinking it.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

Okay, so I write mostly nonconsent/reluctance, so let me tell you first and foremost that I am not here to judge.

But I feel that you really messed up by not at least adding "noncon" into the story tags. (Heck, this story could have gone NC/R category, and no one would have complained).

There are a lot of people on this site who can't stand any type of nonconsensual sexual content, and they will one-star and complain at the first sign of the noncon. The least you can do is properly tag your story, and put it in the proper category. If you feel that the exhibition/voyeur angle was the most critical part of the story, then that's fine... but adding the tags can do a lot to draw the intended crowd and warn away those who hate what we write.

Other than that, the story was fine. Not my particular cup of tea, but I didn't see any egregious errors or anything.

 

[Mericalovess]

Okay, so I write mostly nonconsent/reluctance, so let me tell you first and foremost that I am not here to judge.

But I feel that you really messed up by not at least adding "noncon" into the story tags. (Heck, this story could have gone NC/R category, and no one would have complained).

There are a lot of people on this site who can't stand any type of nonconsensual sexual content, and they will one-star and complain at the first sign of the noncon. The least you can do is properly tag your story, and put it in the proper category. If you feel that the exhibition/voyeur angle was the most critical part of the story, then that's fine... but adding the tags can do a lot to draw the intended crowd and warn away those who hate what we write.

Other than that, the story was fine. Not my particular cup of tea, but I didn't see any egregious errors or anything.

You are so right and I had not even thought about it being cnc or noncon until literally just now. Thank you so much for your input! I will for sure keep that in mind for my next story.

 

[Mericalovess]

This wasn't really my style so I'm not going to comment on it as a whole, but it was so short that I ended up finishing it anyway. Just a few notes.

This feels more like a NonCon story than it does an Exhibitionist one. Fetish at least given the watersports makes up the denument of the story.

That said, the exact moment the MC goes from afraid to enjoying it isn't signalled or explained and the whole piece feels slightly too emotionally disconnected.

You haven't got a lot of dialogue in the story so it's probably best not to bury what you have in the middle of long paragraphs.

Although you mention her buying it, given the role of the large drink, you could have mentioned her drinking it.

Thanks so much for the feedback. I will keep that in mind for sure!