Need an opinion on the effects on post partum depression and the lack of intimacy post baby on women committing affairs especially in work place.

[sweetdreamssss]

I'm going to write a story based on a real life incident which shocked us .

Husband, 36, joined a startup post her pregnancy and working a lot .
Wife , 30, joined the workforce due to post covid job glut leaving her one year son with nanny .
He was taking too many late evening calls with clients so he was in a different room to sleep. She was alone managing the child . They hardly had sex or even talks outside daily affair due to kid and work pressure.

Recently husband found out that she was messaging a 22 yr old colleague who was her junior at work. That guy is equivalent of a hoodrat and would constantly flirt with every woman and had a reputation of bikes, gfs etc.

He was constantly messaging at how beautiful she looked , how his heart stops seeing her. The chats look so ridiculous but it somehow put her into the path of adultery without even realising.

According to her, it was mere chats and there wasn't even a sexual element in it .

According to husband, she went to a wedding 7 months ago with 3 men and another married woman which he didn't like but didn't object directly as she left her one yr old kid in her mom's house for 4 days.
Later he knew they also stayed at a resort for a day doing all water activities and dancing etc .this guy was one of the three men .

Husband accused wife of physical cheating but the wife refused to accept. She says nothing that sort happened. Now the 6 yr marriage is almost at breaking stage just because some immoral guy wanted to seduce a married woman and the woman just accepted her flirting because she was insecure about her body post delivery and her husband never saw her efforts to lose weight after gaining 25 pounds during delivery

Mine was a "what if" scenario if she did get seduced at that resort.

I want to know the people who got into emotional or physical affairs after your honeymoon period is over and specially the presence of a child ruining your time together and work pressure.

Please let me know because I don't want yet another "wimp husband loses his slut wife to a uncultured man because he has bigger dick" story.
I want to explore her feelings at that point where she unknowingly led herself into adultery.

 

[Lady2020]

IDK. Why do you feel the need to write the story?

 

[ppete3]

I haven't gotten into any affairs since the birth of my child, but I'll tell you that children can dramatically change the dynamic of a relationship/marriage. My wife was so engrossed in making sure that everything was alright with our child that there was nothing left for me at the end of the day. This is despite the fact that we equitably share household chores and childcare responsibilities. For women in particular, it seems there are so many clashing social pressures telling them how to think and feel about being a mother, and it's incredibly stressful and anxiety-inducing. I guess that some women turn to sexual "acting out", but in my experience and from the plenty I've read, it's more often the case that women become more sexually repressed during the post-partum period. They're tired, stressed, and touched out. They don't feel sexy.

 

[Wetkitty09]

As a woman who was in a emotionally, and often physically, distant relationship with the father of my two sons I can say that when someone at work made a connection with me, whether flirting or just having an intelligent conversation, would cause me to be more focused on them versus my husband. Being seen as a person separate from my role as a mother was very gratifying and because I wasn’t getting that at home it made it far more likely I’d find it at work.
While I never physically cheated on my husband, we have since divorced, I was certainly not emotionally available to him due to my attraction to my workmates. Which he didn’t seem to notice btw.
I’d say it was more the connection with another adult who saw me as someone besides wife and mother that was the attraction.

 

[riksteele]

I haven't gotten into any affairs since the birth of my child, but I'll tell you that children can dramatically change the dynamic of a relationship/marriage. My wife was so engrossed in making sure that everything was alright with our child that there was nothing left for me at the end of the day. This is despite the fact that we equitably share household chores and childcare responsibilities. For women in particular, it seems there are so many clashing social pressures telling them how to think and feel about being a mother, and it's incredibly stressful and anxiety-inducing. I guess that some women turn to sexual "acting out", but in my experience and from the plenty I've read, it's more often the case that women become more sexually repressed during the post-partum period. They're tired, stressed, and touched out. They don't feel sexy.

Oftentimes the wife forgets that her husband is her life-long partner, the one she will grow old and die with, and instead invests all her time and energy into her child who will be gone after 18 years, leaving only crumbs for her husband. Often this leads to divorce, and later in life, she regrets living alone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[ppete3]

Oftentimes the wife forgets that her husband is her life-long partner, the one she will grow old and die with, and instead invests all her time and energy into her child who will be gone after 18 years, leaving only crumbs for her husband. Often this leads to divorce, and later in life, she regrets living alone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Absolutely. I'm going through it, so I know how rough it can be on the husband. But I can't change the fact that many women are just wired that way.