Need an editor (first story)

[imaguy]

I'm writing a story about a brother and sister living together at their abusive (thusfar purely physical) father's place.

They start to fall in love before the brother finds out that his father, the man he hates, had an abusive and damaging affair with his sister (Mike's aunt) when he was Mike's age.

Out of guilt, confusion and fear, Mike tries to resist his sister and push her away.

I'm in for the long haul with this one. Anybody interested send me a PM or reply to this thread.

 

[imaguy]

You never know... it might just be pretty good.
Come on, give it a shot.

 

[imaguy]

Excerpt from the story

Two weeks later their father returned.
Sober this time, he found Mike beating on the old punching bag in the garage.
"Mike, I need to talk to you."
Mike let off an impressive four-punch combination before stopping to acknowledge his father's presence.
"I heard you've been suspended," his father said.
“You heard did you?”
“What happened?”
"I had a fight," Mike said, avoiding his eyes.
"What happened?!"
"The VP has it in for me. Says I'm a punk, just like my old man." This wasn’t true. He’d been watching his sister make out with a guy in the hallways. When he saw the guy get a little rough, he couldn’t take it anymore.
"Antolini's still there?" His father cackled.
"30 years and counting."
"Damn" his father laughed, amused. "I used to give that guy all kinds of hell."
"So what do you think?" Mike asked.
"Think about what?"
"Am I destined to become an angry drunk-ass bastard like you?"
"You're more like me than you'll ever admit, son."
"I’m nothing like you," he snarled.
"What about Rachael? I've seen the way you look at her. Like sandwich meat to a dog she is! Guess who’s the dog?"
Mike clenched his fists so tight his nails cut into his palms.
"That's in the blood Mike," his father said.
"What are you talking about?"
"Mike!" He laughed, "You really are daft, aren't you? You think it’s a coincidence your aunt Heather offed herself and your mother took off in the same week?”
Mike's heart stopped. By all accounts Aunt Heather had been sick since she was a teenager. "What did you do to her?"
"What you're gonna do to Rachael, if you haven't already." Mike said nothing. "Hey listen, I don't blame you. I'd have done it to Rachael myself if you'd ever let me near her. Very ‘knight-in-shining-armor’ of you by the way. I'm sure Rachael is just sucking it up."
"Shut up!"
"Just remember me when you take her that first time," he said, his face swelling with twisted pride. "I wonder if she'll cry, like her aunt did. I wonder if she’ll beg for you to stop!"
"I’m gonna kill you," Mike breathed. His father paused for a moment. He knew Mike was telling the truth. He was going to have to accelerate things, it seemed.
“I’m a cop. It has to happen one way or another. But never forget what you are Mike. 'Cause you're just like me!"