My Transgender Awakening

[KABUKISTAR]

Hello KABUKISTAR, That fact that I was born with this body has no relevence as to what is natural or not....people fall naturally within spectrums of gender naturally in the brain as more woman or more man, or inbetween.

You're right; all evidence (limited as it may be, on the subject) shows that gender correlates with different brain-structures, and is thus probably innate. I wont disagree with you on that.

The fact that one may be uncomfortable with ones body is not an artificially induced "expectation". Certainly there are cases where one is delusional and that might be labelled an expectation.

It's not that one's gender is socially imposed. It's the idea that "gender A can't go with sex Y" or "Gender J can't go with sex B" that is socially imposed.


Let me ask you a question, a little thought experiment: what does it mean to be a woman (ie: what's a god definition for the word). You can think about it for a bit, if you need to.

 

[Gi_Venus]

You're right; all evidence (limited as it may be, on the subject) shows that gender correlates with different brain-structures, and is thus probably innate. I wont disagree with you on that.

It's not that one's gender is socially imposed. It's the idea that "gender A can't go with sex Y" or "Gender J can't go with sex B" that is socially imposed.


Let me ask you a question, a little thought experiment: what does it mean to be a woman (ie: what's a god definition for the word). You can think about it for a bit, if you need to.

a god definition? I am not certain I understand your question. I believe that the question takes on a personal connotation for any who would define it.....smile...I have not done an intellectual study on it but I will attempt to define. From a historical context involving myth women are the nurturers, the well of life from where we all come from, the tenders of the home and of the children. From that, they are a source of mystery through time.

Smile....personally it means a sense of freedom to me, leaving the awkward male world in which I found myself. It is bringing postive quailities to the fore that I did not feel I could express as a male. It also means a more holistic view and a deference to the universe in general. To me it means letting go of ego and seeking gentle ways to resolve conflict. I love helping people and promoting understanding and enlightenment. For me it was very insightful helping to raise my child...I took off work a couple of years to be a part of that....taking care of that child helped me to resolution as to what I was......the closeness I felt with my child was indescribable. I remember holding a nephew many years ago...and wishing I could nurture and breast feed him..... for a male an odd thought.....and I worried that I was a freak at the time. I am sorry....sigh.... I wish I could be more open about this....I am not sure I can share the full answer with you. Much of what I am is through innate feelings that resound within me but will not translate, to my satisfaction anyway. My intent is to be who I am, the question is.....who is that?
Right now I define myself as not male I can safetly say as my experience has shown me that. To be honest I am frightened of people like you who question me because of my own insecurity of self, I feel vulnerable. In reality I am adrift, my therapist has me challenging all aspects of my life and my identity.
Laughing.....a poor answer.... please forgive me.
Gianna

 

[KABUKISTAR]

No, a good answer, but I think I was unclear in what I was asking.
Perhaps I should phrase this another way.
Could you fill in the blanks:

A person is a woman if ___________ and they are not a woman if _________.

 

[Kierae]

No, a good answer, but I think I was unclear in what I was asking.
Perhaps I should phrase this another way.
Could you fill in the blanks:

A person is a woman if ___________ and they are not a woman if _________.

A person is a woman if SHE identifies as that and they are not a woman if He doesn't. Simple enough eh? Seriously why ask what it takes to be a woman when we all can roll out the litany of answers that society has dictated as all womanly? There is more research on transgender out now that shows that a "switch" could have been thrown with the hormones that skewed things for folks in the first 6 months (all about hormones ). This to me isn't so far fetched considering we see the same "switch" action with some of the autoimmune disease processes. Bottom line is when there is major conflict in your life surrounding your gender, and if you want the possibility to address - why not find some peace?

Ohh and hugs Gianna - how ya doing girl?

~kierae

 

[KABUKISTAR]

And what would GI_Venus's take on the question be? (Sorry, Kierae, but I find that these things get less muddled if I don't deal with many different answers).

 

[Gi_Venus]

No, a good answer, but I think I was unclear in what I was asking.
Perhaps I should phrase this another way.
Could you fill in the blanks:

A person is a woman if ___________ and they are not a woman if _________.

I do not think in those terms...I am sorry.

 

[Gi_Venus]

A person is a woman if SHE identifies as that and they are not a woman if He doesn't. Simple enough eh? Seriously why ask what it takes to be a woman when we all can roll out the litany of answers that society has dictated as all womanly? There is more research on transgender out now that shows that a "switch" could have been thrown with the hormones that skewed things for folks in the first 6 months (all about hormones ). This to me isn't so far fetched considering we see the same "switch" action with some of the autoimmune disease processes. Bottom line is when there is major conflict in your life surrounding your gender, and if you want the possibility to address - why not find some peace?

Ohh and hugs Gianna - how ya doing girl?

~kierae

Hello kierae*hug* Moody as hell! I just snapped at little boy who spilled the fourth drink today. Ironically when I was young I was always knocking things over...cosmic irony..

 

[KABUKISTAR]

I do not think in those terms...I am sorry.

Then what, does the word "woman" just not have any meaning, in your opinion?

 

[Gi_Venus]

Then what, does the word "woman" just not have any meaning, in your opinion?

Is my definition going to change any view you might have? I already told you I am feeling vulnerable and adrift.....I am not interested in engaging in this kind of dialogue at this time maybe in the future when I am feeling more secure and less lost

 

[KABUKISTAR]

Suit yourself; I suppose I can't make you respond.

I will tell you this, though: don't let the world get you down. Despite what society might tell you there's nothing wrong about being a woman with a so-called "male body." You don't need to change yourself for anyone.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Suit yourself; I suppose I can't make you respond.

I will tell you this, though: don't let the world get you down. Despite what society might tell you there's nothing wrong about being a woman with a so-called "male body." You don't need to change yourself for anyone.

I hate the male body.....it has to go. I am changing for me.

 

[KABUKISTAR]

Perhaps you could think of it this way:
You are a woman. Your body belongs to you. Thus, your body is a woman's body. Regardless of what the transphobic mainstream society would have you believe a "woman's body is," you have one already, without needing to change yourself.

I know I probably can't convince you that you're fine how you are, but I hope that you see it one day.

 

[CA_Irishpilot]

I'm gonna put in my 2cents and support for Gi.

When you feel, think, act, as a woman, but have to see a penis on you each day, you want to change that.

And when you have hate for the male body, you want to change it. Get rid of all things you hate, and make yourself feel whole. How you should be.




~IrishPilot

 

[Gi_Venus]

Perhaps you could think of it this way:
You are a woman. Your body belongs to you. Thus, your body is a woman's body. Regardless of what the transphobic mainstream society would have you believe a "woman's body is," you have one already, without needing to change yourself.

I know I probably can't convince you that you're fine how you are, but I hope that you see it one day.

*smile*...no you cannot....but thank you, I see your intent is pure. I am sorry if I offend you, I know nothing of you. but are you a woman in a mans body? You have such strong feelings about it I was curious.

 

[KABUKISTAR]

I am male-born. And I am my own gender.

 

[CA_Irishpilot]

And, if you are happy that way good for you.


But for those who aren', then they should have the ability to change to what makes them feel whole.


I am still trying to figure out who I am. And I hate people trying to tell me to accept what I am on the outside as a end-all-be-all.


~ IrishPilot

 

[KABUKISTAR]

You're right; everyone has the right to change in a way that makes the feel better about themselves.

I just wish that less people felt that they had to.

 

[yukonnights]

You're right; everyone has the right to change in a way that makes the feel better about themselves.

I just wish that less people felt that they had to.

I suppose it would be nice to live in a perfect world filled with perfect people...But since we don't, it seems that the issue isn't so much "that they had to" change as it is that "they can" change. And that change (whatever it may entail) is done in order to find fulfillment, satisfaction and peace in this brief time on earth.

You don't share much about yourself, but you seem well satisfied (which is good). But, imagine that you couldn't perform sexually for some reason. If a doctor told you that it could be corrected, would you opt to allow that.... or would you still hold out for the purity of the way you were born? Or to put it the way you did; would you "feel that you had to"? I think you would choose whatever it took to find fulfillment (both physical and emotional fulfillment).

I think you will not acknowledge that there is accepted scientific evidence that supports what Gi_Venus is trying to help you understand. Why I don't know. I know that when I was young, I too had a more unyielding belief in what is true... as I grow older and see the universal pain and suffering of mankind, I find myself not so quick to put my "truth" on others. We each must walk the path to the best of our ability. We will all make many mistakes and take different paths, but let us hope that the end of the journey will find us all together in the peace, joy and love that we all seek.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Good morning everyone. Experiencing one of the joys of transition this morning....cramps...in this case a leg cramp. Potassium levels get screwy with the use of antiandrogens, it means my body is telling me to eat less postassium...sigh! Fresh fruit has a lot of potassium....pout, as well as beef.....some of the fresh vegetables as well, somehow the canning process removes a lot of the potassium soo....ick...canned vegetables.....no almonds they are high....god....I hope chocolate is not. And.....gaah! Orange juice is loaded with potassium.... *bottom lip tremble*

 

[Kierae]

Gianna,

Usually leg cramps are indicative of potassium deficiency (and/or calcium/magnesium imbalances) and not from having too much potassium. Are you doing a good multivit with minerals?

~hugs for the day

~kierae

 

[Gi_Venus]

Gianna,

Usually leg cramps are indicative of potassium deficiency (and/or calcium/magnesium imbalances) and not from having too much potassium. Are you doing a good multivit with minerals?

~hugs for the day

~kierae

kierae*hugs*
I will be using some magnesium tonight before bed...I hate waking up with a muscle seizure......I am not sure how it works....I know magnesium works though.
I have not been taking my daily vitamins lately....been trying to eat right...but....hmm that is probably it.

 

[CA_Irishpilot]

kierae*hugs*
I will be using some magnesium tonight before bed...I hate waking up with a muscle seizure......I am not sure how it works....I know magnesium works though.
I have not been taking my daily vitamins lately....been trying to eat right...but....hmm that is probably it.

WOW... YOu learn alot by reading posts and stuff.


Well, I hope you start feeling better. Pain/sickness sucks. (nursing out a cold right now)


Hope you feel better soo Gi.


~ IrishPilot

 

[Gi_Venus]

WOW... YOu learn alot by reading posts and stuff.


Well, I hope you start feeling better. Pain/sickness sucks. (nursing out a cold right now)


Hope you feel better soo Gi.


~ IrishPilot

I hope you feel better too Irish taking your zinc? That helps the body to heal.

 

[MyFriend27]

I'm gonna put in my 2cents and support for Gi.

When you feel, think, act, as a woman, but have to see a penis on you each day, you want to change that.

And when you have hate for the male body, you want to change it. Get rid of all things you hate, and make yourself feel whole. How you should be.




~IrishPilot

If this is the case why do most transsexuals keep the penis. ?

 

[Gi_Venus]

If this is the case why do most transsexuals keep the penis. ?

Hi Myfriend, I know in my case it will be the cost of surgery that will delay things(15,000 to 20,000 dollars USA)....plus one has to get referrals from a couple of different therapists for surgery. A lot of people are not gender dysphoric also. To be honest I did not realize how much I disliked my maleness until I started this process....in other words when I realized that I was female that was the focus......after thinking more in depth with a new sense of introspection I realize a lot of my dislike of myself stemmed from my male body....I always shyed away from thinking of such things before....but I did not like being hairy, I did not like the way I smelled, I did not like having oily skin, I would act more aggressive to situations which always made me uncomfortable. I did not like thinking lustful thoughts when I did not want too. It was only when my libido disappeared that I realized how much it infuenced me.
Laughing..... in my case by all means....get rid of it.