my thread

muskokan said:
in the normal course of a day how old do you FEEL.. in my case most of the time I don't remember I'm over 18
well... that depends. emotionally, I feel about 17. that's probably why I feel more comfortable hanging around with the kids at work as opposed to the people my age or older. well, that and the fact that the girls are smoking hot. physically.... when I get home from work I feel like I'm about 90. I'd still be able to use my tongue on someone, tho.... if I had someone there waiting for me. ;)
 
this weekend hasn't been as bad as I expected. there were times when I wondered if I'd have done some really serious damage to myself by now. pills, or maybe cut myself again.... but it never came to that.

I keep thinking about friday at work....

she looked like she was in pain and she asked if I had some advil (she knows I usually carry some because my feet and knees hurt so bad). I did and of course I gave her some. a little while later I noticed that she went to the restroom kind of holding her tummy. she looked a lot better at break time so I asked if the advil helped.

"yeah.... I was having really bad cramps."

she was standing there waiting to clock out as I was walking down the hall. I stopped at the vending machines, got something and then walked over to her standing next to the time clock. I slipped my purchase, a pack of reese's pieces, into her pocket. she said something like, "how did you know I needed chocolate," or, "how did you know I was gonna buy some chocolate?"

I just shrugged my shoulders.

I wanted to say, "because I love you. I pay attention to things like that. I do anything and everything I can think of to make your days better and easier."

she's an old married lady now. I hope he pays that much attention to her.
 
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mrtnmoon said:
I wanted to say, "because I love you. I pay attention to things like that. I do anything and everything I can think of to make your days better and easier."
If she had half a brain she'd see that... Not that hard to see when someone loves you...

You're a good person Moon... I hope one day you'll really believe how many people care about you...
 
purrbaby said:
You're a good person Moon... I hope one day you'll really believe how many people care about you...
well... you can always keep hoping, I suppose. ;)
 
mrtnmoon said:
if you stick around long enough, I'll wear you down. love and hope are mere illusions. ;)
What you believe is what's real. Nothing else matters :p
 
purrbaby said:
What you believe is what's real. Nothing else matters :p
what's the old bumper sticker? everyone has to believe in something... I believe I'll have another beer.
 
purrbaby said:
Uh yeah just a tad bit lol
not quite as effective, tho. a wise man (ozzy osbourne) once said, "suicide is slow with liquor". lol.
 
mrtnmoon said:
not quite as effective, tho. a wise man (ozzy osbourne) once said, "suicide is slow with liquor". lol.
lmao My uncle needs to hear that... I think he's almost done pickling...
 
*steals moons pills and portions them out*

If you need anything else to make you feel better I guess I haven't been around enough


*ignores her exploding ego*
 
muskokan said:
*steals moons pills and portions them out*

If you need anything else to make you feel better I guess I haven't been around enough


*ignores her exploding ego*
a nice gesture, thanks. you really don't have to worry, tho... I don't have nearly enough balls to really do anything. lol. just kinda..... fun to think about every once in awhile.
 
mrtnmoon said:
a nice gesture, thanks. you really don't have to worry, tho... I don't have nearly enough balls to really do anything. lol. just kinda..... fun to think about every once in awhile.

you know, thats my exact definition of fun.

My ex one night downloaded a bunch of videos about people being killed, one in particular was of a girl begging for them not to hurt her and then she was shot in the head.

I was probably about 4 months pregnant and had a complete breakdown, I pulled out the sharpest knife in our kitchen drawer, the asshole that made me watch those videos in the first place *yah come here and see this "hehe"* ended up calling the cops...

bastard didn't even think the kid was his and hated my guts anyway, I don't know why he even did anything.. if it weren't for my daughter being inside me I probably wouldn't be here
 
muskokan said:
you know, thats my exact definition of fun.

My ex one night downloaded a bunch of videos about people being killed, one in particular was of a girl begging for them not to hurt her and then she was shot in the head.

I was probably about 4 months pregnant and had a complete breakdown, I pulled out the sharpest knife in our kitchen drawer, the asshole that made me watch those videos in the first place *yah come here and see this "hehe"* ended up calling the cops...

bastard didn't even think the kid was his and hated my guts anyway, I don't know why he even did anything.. if it weren't for my daughter being inside me I probably wouldn't be here
wow... your ex was a sick fuck, wasn't he? my thing is.... I think about hurting myself, but I don't often think about hurting other people, except for the occasional punch in the mouth.

would have been fun to see the look on his face when you pulled out that knife, tho. you're definitely better off that he's an ex.
 
mrtnmoon said:
wow... your ex was a sick fuck, wasn't he? my thing is.... I think about hurting myself, but I don't often think about hurting other people, except for the occasional punch in the mouth.

would have been fun to see the look on his face when you pulled out that knife, tho. you're definitely better off that he's an ex.

yah.. sorry.. I must be grumpy tonight I really don't usually rant like that... usually.. thats just the only time I ever thought about hurting myself personally.

hurting HIM was a whole other story though.. I usually go the psycological route rather than the physical though, it's what I was taught
 
muskokan said:
yah.. sorry.. I must be grumpy tonight I really don't usually rant like that... usually.. thats just the only time I ever thought about hurting myself personally.

hurting HIM was a whole other story though.. I usually go the psycological route rather than the physical though, it's what I was taught
no need to be sorry. sounds like he deserves to be hurt. and I'll be honest.... I have intentionally hurt people on an emotional level. I didn't do the biggie, tho... I probably could have seriously damaged her wedding plans if I'd wanted to....
 
mrtnmoon said:
no need to be sorry. sounds like he deserves to be hurt. and I'll be honest.... I have intentionally hurt people on an emotional level. I didn't do the biggie, tho... I probably could have seriously damaged her wedding plans if I'd wanted to....

if we're going for honest here, I'm a bad person. I am a complete bitch with no regard to other peoples feelings. I want what I want and damn everyone else... just hope I don't get caught...

It's like I know I wouldn't want certain people finding out but I do it to spite whats considered "correct behavour"

I gues sit's kind of like a more permanent quarter life crisis, or my rebellion coming out now instead of 5 or 6 years ago when it's generally supposed to.
 
muskokan said:
if we're going for honest here, I'm a bad person. I am a complete bitch with no regard to other peoples feelings. I want what I want and damn everyone else... just hope I don't get caught...

It's like I know I wouldn't want certain people finding out but I do it to spite whats considered "correct behavour"

I gues sit's kind of like a more permanent quarter life crisis, or my rebellion coming out now instead of 5 or 6 years ago when it's generally supposed to.
what do you want and what have you done that you hope you don't get caught? I only ask because you've been nothing but kind to me, so I dunno where this "bitch with no regard to other peoples feelings" comes from.
 
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