my thread

[muskokan]

will you tell me your story.. if I ask nicely?

 

[purrbaby]

Hey Moon Just miss you and stopping by to say hi. Hope your day was good. ::hugs::

 

[mrtnmoon]

Hey Moon Just miss you and stopping by to say hi. Hope your day was good. ::hugs::

my day was long.... was up late, had to get up early and then worked a double. got home from work, ate, then laid down on the couch for a few minutes to watch tv. I never made it back up off the couch.

hope you have/had a good day and talk to ya soon. *hugs*

 

[mrtnmoon]

will you tell me your story.. if I ask nicely?

of course I will. unfortunately I have to go to work in a bit.... but when I get the chance... one story, coming up. have a good day and thanks for dropping by.

very nice av, by the way.

 

[purrbaby]

my day was long.... was up late, had to get up early and then worked a double. got home from work, ate, then laid down on the couch for a few minutes to watch tv. I never made it back up off the couch.

hope you have/had a good day and talk to ya soon. *hugs*

lol Hope you got some rest though. Know you need it.

 

[mrtnmoon]

when I get the chance... one story, coming up.

then again, I may just take about 90 xanax tonight. then I won't have to worry about telling my story. also won't have to worry about fucking up my or anyone else's life ever again. ciao.

 

[purrbaby]

then again, I may just take about 90 xanax tonight. then I won't have to worry about telling my story. also won't have to worry about fucking up my or anyone else's life ever again. ciao.

Whoa... Honey what happened?

 

[mrtnmoon]

Whoa... Honey what happened?

just a crappy, crappy day. I've had a lot of shit on my mind and I haven't been sleeping much the last couple of weeks.... when I do sleep I have weird, disturbing and very hurtful dreams.

add to that a lot of frustration that's been building at work over how it seems like some people get preferential treatment over the people that really bust their ass.... I got in a fight with one of those people today. she said, "fuck you, fatass," I said, "fuck you, too, you slow-ass bitch" and then she started screaming at me. we got called in the office and I didn't get a fair chance to tell my side.... preferential treatment again. so, I have no idea what the fallout from this is gonna be.

add to that frustration with my mom's bullshit. sometimes I think the world would be a much better place if I just fucking killed both of us. those are the times I spend time wishing I had a gun and/or thinking it's a good thing I don't have one.

have no fear, tho... the drugstore was closed so I couldn't get my xanax prescription filled. I don't think I can OD on one of them, so the world can still get its jollies fucking me over tomorrow.

 

[purrbaby]

::hugs:: I'm sorry honey...

 

[mrtnmoon]

I was just talking to her on the phone.... she's having a bad time because of some family stuff that's going on.... so I listened and tried to be supportive. told her that tomorrow is her big day and that she should try to put the bad stuff out of her mind.

I also let out little bits of how I'm feeling. didn't really mean to do that and I might now have except I'm a little drugged out right now. I felt like my comments were pretty restrained, tho.... just told her that I hope she understands how sometimes it's hard seeing them together and I hoped she understood that I've been trying to be ok with being around the two of them.

I'm not really happy about laying that out on the eve of her wedding, but... like I said, I feel like I was pretty restrained considering the things I've been feeling. I didn't tell her what a huge mistake I think she's making. I didn't tell her how much it hurts that she chose a jackass like that over someone who'd do anything he could for her and to help her, like me. I didn't tell her how many times in the last few weeks I've thought about giving her my death as a wedding present.

I didn't tell her about how I hardly sleep sometimes because of the dreams I've been having.... dreams that I'm looking for her but can't find her... dreamd where I find out she's dead. sometimes it's a car wreck, sometimes someone's killed her. sometimes that "someone" is a guy that she pretty much replaced me with. in one dream she'd wrecked and I found her laying on the side of the road. she died in my arms. I think I cried for about an hour after that.

instead I told her to try not think abput the bad stuff and think good thoughts... it's her wedding day, the start of her new life. I told her I want her to be happy and that I hope he makes her happy.

I do want her to be happy.... I just don't think he's the one that can so it to add insanity to injury, they offered to have me over for dinner one night next week and I didn't say no.

I'm such a dumbass.
sometimes I wish I had a gun..
xanax is more my style and I've got about 80 of them now.... sometimes I wish I had he nerve to just down them.

I suck.
life sucks...

 

[mrtnmoon]

I was just talking to her on the phone.... she's having a bad time because of some family stuff that's going on.... so I listened and tried to be supportive. told her that tomorrow is her big day and that she should try to put the bad stuff out of her mind.

I also let out little bits of how I'm feeling. didn't really mean to do that and I might now have except I'm a little drugged out right now. I felt like my comments were pretty restrained, tho.... just told her that I hope she understands how sometimes it's hard seeing them together and I hoped she understood that I've been trying to be ok with being around the two of them.

I'm not really happy about laying that out on the eve of her wedding, but... like I said, I feel like I was pretty restrained considering the things I've been feeling. I didn't tell her what a huge mistake I think she's making. I didn't tell her how much it hurts that she chose a jackass like that over someone who'd do anything he could for her and to help her, like me. I didn't tell her how many times in the last few weeks I've thought about giving her my death as a wedding present.

I didn't tell her about how I hardly sleep sometimes because of the dreams I've been having.... dreams that I'm looking for her but can't find her... dreamd where I find out she's dead. sometimes it's a car wreck, sometimes someone's killed her. sometimes that "someone" is a guy that she pretty much replaced me with. in one dream she'd wrecked and I found her laying on the side of the road. she died in my arms. I think I cried for about an hour after that.

instead I told her to try not think abput the bad stuff and think good thoughts... it's her wedding day, the start of her new life. I told her I want her to be happy and that I hope he makes her happy.

I do want her to be happy.... I just don't think he's the one that can so it to add insanity to injury, they offered to have me over for dinner one night next week and I didn't say no.

I'm such a dumbass.
sometimes I wish I had a gun..
xanax is more my style and I've got about 80 of them now.... sometimes I wish I had he nerve to just down them.

I suck.
life sucks...

muskokan> is that enough of a sob story for you?

 

[muskokan]

muskokan> is that enough of a sob story for you?

That is definitely a story

Lots of snurgles for ya

I hope you start feeling better at some point.. I don't know you well enough to try and make you feel better yet because I have no idea how

 

[mrtnmoon]

I hope you start feeling better at some point.. I don't know you well enough to try and make you feel better yet because I have no idea how

thank you for the very kind words.... as for making me feel better... it's temporary but that lovely pic always improves my mood for a few seconds. I don't often do the "pic thread" thing, but I may have to make an exception for you.

 

[muskokan]

thank you for the very kind words.... as for making me feel better... it's temporary but that lovely pic always improves my mood for a few seconds. I don't often do the "pic thread" thing, but I may have to make an exception for you.

perhaps if you do enjoy my pic thread I could come up with something special just for you

 

[mrtnmoon]

perhaps if you do enjoy my pic thread I could come up with something special just for you

judging from the one I see when you post here, I don't know how I could not[ /i] enjoy your thread. I'm a little impaired right now.... when I'm in my right mind I'll be happy to go look and let you know how lovely you are. anything "special" for me would be icing on a very nice cake, I'm sure....

 

[muskokan]

judging from the one I see when you post here, I don't know how I could not enjoy your thread. I'm a little impaired right now.... when I'm in my right mind I'll be happy to go look and let you know how lovely you are. anything "special" for me would be icing on a very nice cake, I'm sure....

ahh, but a cake just wouldn't be the same without the icing.


chocolate, vanilla, or do you like it with sprinkles?

 

[mrtnmoon]

ahh, but a cake just wouldn't be the same without the icing.


chocolate, vanilla, or do you like it with sprinkles?

well.. if you're talking strictly cake, I'm mostly a chocolate guy. if you're talking cake as a metaphor for something else, I'm mostly a vanilla guy..... I've seen some very delectable slices of chocolate, tho.

in either case, sprinkles can add a very intresting touch, as well as any of several other garnishes/sauces.

 

[mrtnmoon]

it's kind of weird. I expected to wake up today feeling more than ever like swallowing that bottle of pills, but right now I feel ok except for being a little tired. that doesn't mean that later I won't feel like going on a three state killing spree before I off myself, but right now I'm good.

I hope he makes her happy. I do want her to be happy. I can't say this to you when we talk, but you'll never see this so I can say it here....... love you, babe.

*sigh*

I can't leave well enough alone.... as soon as I started to type that little missive, the tears started flowing. goddamn, I feel so fuckin' stupid sometimes.

 

[muskokan]

gotta get it out somewhere. better typing it here than somewhere that might hurt someone, physically or emotionally..

 

[mrtnmoon]

gotta get it out somewhere. better typing it here than somewhere that might hurt someone, physically or emotionally..

thanks for the support, muskokan.

 

[muskokan]

thanks for the support, muskokan.

please don't mind if my lines sound dull or text book. I really do mean it with all sincerety. I'm just not always great with words. Many people here may be much older than me but when I take a liking to someone it's like they are family

 

[mrtnmoon]

please don't mind if my lines sound dull or text book. I really do mean it with all sincerety. I'm just not always great with words. Many people here may be much older than me but when I take a liking to someone it's like they are family

you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. "dull" or "textbook" never even crossed my mind. it was very kind of you to express your support.... my thanks was meant in all sincerity, too.

ummmm.... you didn't have to call me old, tho.

 

[muskokan]

ummmm.... you didn't have to call me old, tho.

silly I didn't mean YOU personally. I just meant the general population of the lit boards...
oh bother
*snuggles and lays her head on your shoulder*

 

[mrtnmoon]

silly I didn't mean YOU personally. I just meant the general population of the lit boards...
oh bother
*snuggles and lays her head on your shoulder*

hmmmmm.... I'd say that now I feel like paul anka, but it would just be more proof of what a geezer I am.

he's the guy that sang put your head on my shoulder

 

[muskokan]

hmmmmm.... I'd say that now I feel like paul anka, but it would just be more proof of what a geezer I am.

he's the guy that sang put your head on my shoulder

in the normal course of a day how old do you FEEL.. in my case most of the time I don't remember I'm over 18