my thread

[mrtnmoon]

thanks for the thoughts.... sorry for my absence. I've just had a lot on my mind. I don't really know what to expect tomorrow and I don't even really know how to act. on one hand, I'd like to be adult about things... just be friendly to him, do what I can to help him learn the ropes about the job, stay a part of her life. after all.... I knew when we started up that she was engaged and that at some point I'd be losing her to him.

but there's this other part of me.... the part that's hurt and bitter over the way things ended between us. I think about all the time I got cheated out of spending with her for the last 6 months or so, for no good reason that I know of. she just chose to start spending her time with someone else. someone else that wasn't her fiancee. I didn't get a warning. I didn't get a "last time", a day to savor every moment I got to spend with her. I loved those days so much and I thought she did, too, and then it was just..... nothing.

so there are times I have these really dark thoughts about just blowing her out of the water. "hey, how's it going? did you know I fucked your fiancee 2 or 3 times a week for about 6 months while she was engaged to you? she told me you didn't know how to fuck her like I did. I also loved eating that sweet, sweet pussy..... she told me you didn't like to do that, and when you tried it was more funny than it was exciting. oh, and any orgasm she has with you, you owe to me.... she'd never had one til I got a hold of her, and by the time I was done with her she could cum in 5 minutes. you're welcome."

I don't really want to do that... I couldn't stand to hurt her that bad. but god, I hurt sometimes, and I still want her so much. I dunno if I said this before or not, but it seems like she only gets more beautiful each day.

if I can just pretend that everything's ok for awhile, maybe it will be.... keep your fingers crossed for me.

 

[Guest]

thanks for the thoughts.... sorry for my absence. I've just had a lot on my mind. I don't really know what to expect tomorrow and I don't even really know how to act. on one hand, I'd like to be adult about things... just be friendly to him, do what I can to help him learn the ropes about the job, stay a part of her life. after all.... I knew when we started up that she was engaged and that at some point I'd be losing her to him.

but there's this other part of me.... the part that's hurt and bitter over the way things ended between us. I think about all the time I got cheated out of spending with her for the last 6 months or so, for no good reason that I know of. she just chose to start spending her time with someone else. someone else that wasn't her fiancee. I didn't get a warning. I didn't get a "last time", a day to savor every moment I got to spend with her. I loved those days so much and I thought she did, too, and then it was just..... nothing.

so there are times I have these really dark thoughts about just blowing her out of the water. "hey, how's it going? did you know I fucked your fiancee 2 or 3 times a week for about 6 months while she was engaged to you? she told me you didn't know how to fuck her like I did. I also loved eating that sweet, sweet pussy..... she told me you didn't like to do that, and when you tried it was more funny than it was exciting. oh, and any orgasm she has with you, you owe to me.... she'd never had one til I got a hold of her, and by the time I was done with her she could cum in 5 minutes. you're welcome."

I don't really want to do that... I couldn't stand to hurt her that bad. but god, I hurt sometimes, and I still want her so much. I dunno if I said this before or not, but it seems like she only gets more beautiful each day.

if I can just pretend that everything's ok for awhile, maybe it will be.... keep your fingers crossed for me.

huggles dear...hang in there

 

[mrtnmoon]

huggles dear...hang in there

thanks, MSL. I guess I better get to bed so I can face the day with a (reasonably) clear mind. at this point, I'm going to try to go the "be an adult" route. be welcoming, tell him if he has any questions and she's not around, feel free to come to me. that's the plan, anyway... let's see how it goes.

have a good night, MSL.

 

[Guest]

thanks, MSL. I guess I better get to bed so I can face the day with a (reasonably) clear mind. at this point, I'm going to try to go the "be an adult" route. be welcoming, tell him if he has any questions and she's not around, feel free to come to me. that's the plan, anyway... let's see how it goes.

have a good night, MSL.

night dear

 

[mrtnmoon]

ok...made it through the first couple of days. I don't really know what I expected, so I can't really say whether it's been better or worse than I thought it was going to be.

for the life of me, I can't see what she sees in him. not that he's a bad guy, but they just don't seem to have that much in common. thankfully they haven't acted all lovey-dovey at work.... so far all I've had to see/hear was one or two "babes" or "hons". hurts a little bit, it hasn't been too bad.

a couple of times when we were alone she's said things like he gets on her nerves sometimes and he always has to be right and picks fights with her... and I can't help thinking, "then why are you marrying him, you stupid bitch?"

I've also found myself in the weird position of defending him to her. she was complaining because he went home after the first day and didn't get off the couch after that, and I told her to try to remember that he hadn't had a regular job for awhile and that he probably hasn't had many jobs that are as physical as what we do. told her to be patient with him.

I dunno whether I'm a good guy, or an idiot.

 

[Guest]

ok...made it through the first couple of days. I don't really know what I expected, so I can't really say whether it's been better or worse than I thought it was going to be.

for the life of me, I can't see what she sees in him. not that he's a bad guy, but they just don't seem to have that much in common. thankfully they haven't acted all lovey-dovey at work.... so far all I've had to see/hear was one or two "babes" or "hons". hurts a little bit, it hasn't been too bad.

a couple of times when we were alone she's said things like he gets on her nerves sometimes and he always has to be right and picks fights with her... and I can't help thinking, "then why are you marrying him, you stupid bitch?"

I've also found myself in the weird position of defending him to her. she was complaining because he went home after the first day and didn't get off the couch after that, and I told her to try to remember that he hadn't had a regular job for awhile and that he probably hasn't had many jobs that are as physical as what we do. told her to be patient with him.

I dunno whether I'm a good guy, or an idiot.

you may feel like an idiot but you're one of the good guys, dear

 

[mrtnmoon]

*he pulls, muscles and veins standing out in his neck and arms from the effort*

*stops to rest, panting with exhaustion*

*bends to the task again. looks up....*

oh, hi... don't mind me. I'm just dragging myself up from the bottom of page four.

 

[mrtnmoon]

you may feel like an idiot but you're one of the good guys, dear

nice of you to say so, but you don't really know me. I could be one of those men that are real shits.

 

[Guest]

nice of you to say so, but you don't really know me. I could be one of those men that are real shits.

poor boy....all the way from page four??? *helps mrtnmoon drag the page*

 

[mrtnmoon]

poor boy....all the way from page four??? *helps mrtnmoon drag the page*

thanks. I was already a little tired from pulling on something else.

 

[Guest]

thanks. I was already a little tired from pulling on something else.

i bet

 

[Buttah]

Hello to both moons, here's one for ya.

http://bestsmileys.com/mooners/5.gif

 

[Guest]

LOL thanks

 

[mrtnmoon]

Hello to both moons, here's one for ya.

http://bestsmileys.com/mooners/5.gif

ummm... thanks, I think.

I'd rather see your ass.

 

[mrtnmoon]

she called me last night. I could tell she was a little down.... but part of me is trying to distance myself a little bit. I was eating when she called, and I'm trying to not just drop everything and rush to her rescue, be at her beck and call.... so I asked if I could call her back. she said she was going to bed and she'd just see me at work thursday...

I ended up calling her back when I got finished eating, anyway, just in case she was still up. I just.... I feel like I let her down, ya know? I've always told here I was here for her, whatever and whenever she needs. but she made her choices.... she's shown me over and over that I'm not nearly as high on her list of priorities as I've always put her.

so why do I still care so much, and why do I feel like such a dick for not doing everything I could to be there when she needed me?

 

[Buttah]

she called me last night. I could tell she was a little down.... but part of me is trying to distance myself a little bit. I was eating when she called, and I'm trying to not just drop everything and rush to her rescue, be at her beck and call.... so I asked if I could call her back. she said she was going to bed and she'd just see me at work thursday...

I ended up calling her back when I got finished eating, anyway, just in case she was still up. I just.... I feel like I let her down, ya know? I've always told here I was here for her, whatever and whenever she needs. but she made her choices.... she's shown me over and over that I'm not nearly as high on her list of priorities as I've always put her.

so why do I still care so much, and why do I feel like such a dick for not doing everything I could to be there when she needed me?

Your posts are filled with such pain they make me hurt. In my humble opinion I think you are doing the right thing. I know you promised to be there for her but she has a new man in her life and as painful as it is she should be turning to him. I can't presume to know the facts but please don't turn yourself into her "ear" when she can't deal. Tell me to shut up if you want mrmoon but I hate to see you beating yourself up.

 

[purrbaby]

so why do I still care so much, and why do I feel like such a dick for not doing everything I could to be there when she needed me?

Because you care about her.

Remember everything that's happened, don't let her use you. People treat you as bad as you let them. (And yes, I know, it's completely easier said than done.)

 

[mrtnmoon]

Because you care about her.

Remember everything that's happened, don't let her use you. People treat you as bad as you let them. (And yes, I know, it's completely easier said than done.)

you're right about that. when it comes to her (pretty girls in general but especially her) I seem to have "use me" tattooed on my forehead. I want her to need me.

I also want her to want me. I'd love her to love me.... wait, is that a song? hmmmm.....

 

[mrtnmoon]

Your posts are filled with such pain they make me hurt. In my humble opinion I think you are doing the right thing. I know you promised to be there for her but she has a new man in her life and as painful as it is she should be turning to him. I can't presume to know the facts but please don't turn yourself into her "ear" when she can't deal. Tell me to shut up if you want mrmoon but I hate to see you beating yourself up.

thanks, parkay...

I've been trying to decide how to respond to this. I appreciate the words of support.... at the same time, reading that my posts make you hurt makes me wonder if I should just keep my fingers shut. I mean.... sometimes I feel the need to get stuff off my mind, but I also don't want my thread to be a complete drag for people to come to... especially the pretty ladies. I... uhh..... want you here as often as possible.

I saw a comment you made in another thread about an old friend not responding when you said hi.... I hope you didn't mean me and that you don't think I didn't see this post or was ignoring it.... just didn't know what to say. thanks again.

 

[purrbaby]

you're right about that. when it comes to her (pretty girls in general but especially her) I seem to have "use me" tattooed on my forehead. I want her to need me.

I also want her to want me. I'd love her to love me.... wait, is that a song? hmmmm.....

Well, I had the use me tattoo on my forehead with a lot of so called nice guys in my life. You're not the only one that's had it.

And I actually started singing to that when I read it lol

 

[mrtnmoon]

And I actually started singing to that when I read it lol

good. you were s'posed to.

 

[Buttah]

Have a good day mrmoon, let's hope the sun is shining for you.

 

[mrtnmoon]

Have a good day mrmoon, let's hope the sun is shining for you.

that depends.... do you mean outside, or inside? you have a good day, too.... be sending you a PM later, so I hope your box is clean. umm... mailbox, I mean.

 

[mrtnmoon]

I posted this in another thread. since it reveals some things about me, I thought I'd post it here, too. I also wanted purrbaby to see it since it was a response to her response to something I posted and I thought there was a better chance of it not getting lost within the thread here.... not as many posts in this thread usually....(clear as mud, eh?)
**********************************************************

Passing again. Interested to see what others might say. If they're honest. (5 days or events you wish you could do over... for reasons good or bad

1. any one of the days during the week my dad was in the hospital before he died. he'd been in and out of the hospital for as long as I could remember. I thought he'd be coming home, just like every other time. I dunno if I really thought he'd be alright, or I knew he was really bad off and I've just blocked that part out. anyway, I didn't bother to go see him..... until the day they called the whole family to the hospital. by then.... it was pretty much too late, but at least I got to tell him I loved him. I hope he heard me.

2. almost any one of the days I got to spend with her.... holding her, kissing her.... making her cum all over me and the bed all day long.... and most importantly, feeling like I mattered to her.

3. either one of the times I've been to gatlinburg. I've been there twice for weddings, but both times I weighed nearly or more than 500 pounds. I did have some fun, but nothing that involved getting out of the hotel. I'd love to go again now that I could walk around in the mountains some. it's one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen if you look past the tourist-trappy part of it, and I'd like to get a better look at it.

4. the trip we took to cedar point when I was a kid. it's the only time we ever got to take a trip like that as a family. the two things I remember most vividly, other than just the fact that we were actually doing something like that:

riding the corkscrew. ordinarily I hate roller coasters, so you'd think there was no chance in hell I'd ride one that goes upside down. because of the upside down thing, tho, the ride had shoulder harnesses, as opposed to just a bar and/or belt that all the other coasters I'd been in had. that made it ok, and I loved the ride. I went 3 times.

the trip from sandusky proper out to where the park is. it was just a 2 lane road running out into lake erie and the fog was so thick you couldn't see anything in front or on either side of the car. one of the eeriest feelings I've ever had. I can't remember if I'd read stephen king's the mist before then or not, but whenever I do now I remember that little drive.

5. the day I had my tummy tuck. I'd had a gastric bypass and lost about 200 pounds, which was cool in and of itself, but which left me with a huge amount of excess skin. a tummy tuck was pretty much a necessity. it was so cool to wake up and realize I could see my dick. I think I was too sore to actually play with it that day, but I remember many times looking under the covers and being amazed to be able to see it. I still get a thrill out of seeing myself cum, if I'm not lucky enough to be doing it in the middle of having sex or getting a bj.

how's that for honesty, PB?

 

[purrbaby]

how's that for honesty, PB?

You are such an amazing person. I'm sitting here with a smile on my face because of the absolute brutal honesty of that. That's a brave thing to write and let everyone see.

You're a beautiful person Moon. Never ever believe otherwise. She does not deserve you. Remember this quote, one I've loved for a long time.

"The absence of flaw in beauty is itself a flaw."
--Havelock Ellis