My sub/Dom RL relationship... a short explanation

[Slut_loves_pain]

I have a relationship where my partner and I live together, and outside the bedroom I would probably be considered the dominant partner by all our friends, lol. He is quite as a mouse and sensitive and caring. But once the kids are in bed and we are alone he turns into Sir and I am his slave every night. Plus when we are in RL out and about he will always do something to gently 'remind' me who and what he is, however he encourages my free spirit and willfulness in career and family and all our friends consider me a ball-breaker feminist bitch, if only they knew!!!
Putting it simply, I am a sub through and through sexually, and one helluva bouncy crazy insane bundle of free will and independance by personality.
There's no way I could be a 'slave' 24/7 no WAY I could totally surrender myself to someone in all aspects of my life, I spent my childhood doing that and never again. But man, make sure there's noone around and order me GET DOWN and you'll find me grovelling over his cock and begging like noone would ever ever believe who knows the 'me' everyone thinks I am.
So the point of this post? Who knows. Just a honest summary of my relatoinship, lol.

 

[FreeBloke]

That, believe it or not, is very much how my slut is too.

She is my slut, and behaves as such on demand. However in R'L she is as upfront a woman as I know!

 

[FreeGal]

That, believe it or not, is very much how my slut is too.

She is my slut, and behaves as such on demand. However in R'L she is as upfront a woman as I know!

Awww, thank you!!! I take that as quite a compliment, my love.

I read this earlier, and honestly thought I could have written that myself.



Well done for writing that out, slp.

 

[incubus'_sub]

Well, Incubus is definately not a mouse LOL, but he is considerate, thoughtful & loving.

Apart from that, our relationship is very similar to yours and in everday life I am much the same.

Works really well for us too.

 

[FreeGal]

Yep, FreeBloke is definitely not a mouse, either! Hehehe!

But, we compliment each other well in many ways. Both as filthy minded as the other, for example.

And, yes, he is considerate, thoughtful and loving, too.

 

[FreeBloke]

Thankyou my slut!

Now, undress for me!!!!

 

[FreeGal]

Done.

 

[FreeBloke]

Heh heh heh!

Oh goody!

 

[Slut_loves_pain]

Hijackers!!!!

lmfao!!!!

 

[curvacious]

I'm slowly discovering the submissive in me. I'm a lot like you described yourself. Things around the house are mostly done my way but in the bedroom, hold me down and fuck me hard and i'm yours to do anything you want with.

 

[Etoile]

There's no way I could be a 'slave' 24/7 no WAY I could totally surrender myself to someone in all aspects of my life, I spent my childhood doing that and never again.

So I'm just curious...do you look down upon those who are 24/7 lifestyle submissives? Do you feel it is a sign of weakness for a person to be submissive outside the bedroom? Does it change your opinion if the person is only submissive (at all times) to their dominant partner, but when on their own they are less so? Do you feel submissive = doormat?

 

[Slut_loves_pain]

bummer

but I'm not a judgmental person. I couldnt do 24/7 slavery myself, no way, but if it works for you and makes you happy, more power to ya. I like I said, am not at all judgemental, at all. Pain in the ass sometimes when ppl that are try to start a fight on some ridiculous point which I 'should' be up in arms about, and believe me they do it frequently, but I'm sooooo not interested!!!!
For goodness sake I'm a lesbian in straight relationships, an indulger of BDSM and more extreme BDSM at that, a mother who is a kink, a social worker who is a kink, a feminist who gets humiliated every night, what the HELL right do I have to judge anyone???

edited to say:

Etoile, woops, I reread that and I do not mean that towards you at all, I'm just talking about in general life

 

[Etoile]

Re: bummer

but I'm not a judgmental person. I couldnt do 24/7 slavery myself, no way, but if it works for you and makes you happy, more power to ya. I like I said, am not at all judgemental, at all. Pain in the ass sometimes when ppl that are try to start a fight on some ridiculous point which I 'should' be up in arms about, and believe me they do it frequently, but I'm sooooo not interested!!!!
For goodness sake I'm a lesbian in straight relationships, an indulger of BDSM and more extreme BDSM at that, a mother who is a kink, a social worker who is a kink, a feminist who gets humiliated every night, what the HELL right do I have to judge anyone???

edited to say:

Etoile, woops, I reread that and I do not mean that towards you at all, I'm just talking about in general life

That's cool.

I didn't mean to suggest that you would look down on 24/7 lifestylers. I was just wondering what your personal opinion was. "If it works for you, do it" is a great attitude to take.

May I ask for more about what you meant about being a lesbian in a straight relationship? You can reply via PM if you prefer.

 

[h_i_s]

Simply put, i'm a straight submissive woman with a bicurious edge, who is somewhat of a masochist & is involved in a 24/7, D/s, monogamous relationship.

i'm by no means a doormat to any, & i'm quite the docile submissive to my Dominant. i'm intelligent, witty, humorous, and obediant. i have strong opinions and i voice them freely. He and i always discuss anything and everything. The communication between us is always a free, honest and open exchange and yet, He always has the final say, and makes all final decisions as needed.

i'm a strong and independant & responsible & respectable woman outside of the relationship.

Within the relationship, i am His, pleasing Him in any way He desires, just as He likes it to be.

 

[heckle]

There is nothing wrong with being a strong persom who is submissive. Afterall, a submissive who has low self-esteem is only looking for bad times ahead. One cannot truley surrender control to another if they do not have control to begin with.

 

[warrior queen]

There is nothing wrong with being a strong persom who is submissive. Afterall, a submissive who has low self-esteem is only looking for bad times ahead. One cannot truley surrender control to another if they do not have control to begin with.

well said.

 

[ethereal~minx]

a person can be strong with weakness. We all have weakness. The choice to surrender is about trust~ when there is a willingness and desire to "know" the other person without judgement, pretense & guile, trust is felt and surrender is forthcoming.

When there is self=interest and not a desire to "know" the submissive it "should" be noticed by the submissive and dealt with the moment it happens however, there are sadists that enjoy this mental anguish and there may be the maso-sub that sees the experience as enlightening ...especially when trust is deeper after the dom/sadist acknowledges the 'teaching'~~

a submissive will definitely suffer lower self-esteem only after the 'teaching' is revealed as the Dom/Sadist's own self-interest & nothing more.

When inside this s/m dynamic nothing is more important that trust and a conscious decision by both parties to "know" eachother. Even when that is known, it doesn't necessarily mean it's true. Some "masters" are very good at what they do.

so, surrender is unlikely because of low self-esteem? I think the dominant has a responsibility to know they're not capable of entering a relationship with a human and refraining from preying on the weakness like a disease ...and rather be stronger and end it before it even begins.

 

[robynwildchild]

wellllll...

There's no way I could be a 'slave' 24/7 no WAY I could totally surrender myself to someone in all aspects of my life, I spent my childhood doing that and never again. But man, make sure there's noone around and order me GET DOWN and you'll find me grovelling over his cock and begging like noone would ever ever believe who knows the 'me' everyone thinks I am


ha.. i like you .. your thoughts speak to me relatively .. i feel the need to agree with you in that i am the same way..i just haven't found the person to be with that has me like that.. i'm too independant for my own fucking good. and i fucking can't stand a man who's got less balls than me.. its repulsive. i think i'd have to say i'm forcefully submissive then.. and only after you've shown me your power will i beg for more...

keep posting i enjoy the thought process.