My Sons Problems

[Snowballz]

My son and I have always been close and have always talked about are problems too each other. I talk to my friends at work and maybe set him up on date's if he's lonley or whatever. But latley theres been something bothering him and i finally asked him what it is he says " Dad im not good at sex im not good at satisfying her with my tongue or with my fingers or both im not good with anyone help me" Im not a great lover myself since my wife left and I'm unsure of what to do. What should i tell him?

 

[ESH419]

Maybe sudgest to cruise around Lit. There are plenty of people who'd help out and even more who know what they are doing =P

It'd be good too because he'd be asking his own questions so he'd get exactly the answers he's looking for (hopefully). Also, it'd take away some of the akward factor if there is one.

~ESH419

 

[ldlarry52]

Tell him to relax and enjoy the experience. Ask the girl how she would like to be stimulated.
There are lots and lots of books on technique, how to be a better lover etc. get him some. There are also how to videos if he learns visually better.
Perhaps the two of you can check these out and you'll both start enjoying sex more.
It's suppose to be fun. Have fun. LDLarry52

 

[Snowballz]

"Maybe sudgest to cruise around Lit. There are plenty of people who'd help out and even more who know what they are doing =P"

I thought of that but he's 14. I wont abuse the rules.

 

[ESH419]

Ok i just have to say i wish i had that problem when i was 14 =P not that it's a good problem to have, but in order to have that problem, one needs to be getting some =P That's the part of the problem i wish i had when i was 14....hell right now...soon enuf i'll get to visit my gf tho =P

Anyways back to being helpful (or at least trying =P). I'd just say to take it slow and listen to the lady. A lady worth having would be willing to let him work it out and pratice until he's got his technique down. The pratice itself would be fun. And even tho i'm a guy, a lot of my friends are women and know that the whole fact he'd be willing to pratice that just to please her is a definate plus on its own even if the technique doesn't come to him right away.

~ESH419

 

[wicked woman]

Anyways back to being helpful (or at least trying =P). I'd just say to take it slow and listen to the lady. A lady worth having would be willing to let him work it out and pratice until he's got his technique down.

Don't want to seem cruel but his son is 14...he's presumably not having sex with 'women' at all but young girls who most likely don't have enough experience to know what they want.

I know this will probably come off as prudish, but I think I'd be advising my son to abstain from sex at that age instead of helping him out on his technique. Just my personal opinion.

 

[Bobmi357]

"Maybe sudgest to cruise around Lit. There are plenty of people who'd help out and even more who know what they are doing =P"

I thought of that but he's 14. I wont abuse the rules.

FOURTEEN?


I'm sorry, but your son may be physically mature, but he lacks emotional maturity and won't have that for many years still to come.

My suggestion is to tell him to abstain unless you're willing to be a grandparent at your age. Once he's had the chance to put a few more years on he'll be better able to deal with the emotional baggage one can get from dealing sexually with other people.

Sex makes us incredibly vunerable to other people. We're naked and open to ridicule and derision. He's better off becoming more comfortable with who he is before he opens himself up to that can of worms again.

 

[Snowballz]

"I know this will probably come off as prudish, but I think I'd be advising my son to abstain from sex at that age instead of helping him out on his technique. Just my personal opinion."

Ill keep that in mind but he's not having sex just fingering and eating out. Who make up the "eating out" saying? I mean your not actually eating it...odd? Anyway there just mucking around. But just incase they do start having sex what am i suppose to say to him? "Son i want you not to have sex"?

Thx for all ur replies

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by Snowballz
"I know this will probably come off as prudish, but I think I'd be advising my son to abstain from sex at that age instead of helping him out on his technique. Just my personal opinion."

Ill keep that in mind but he's not having sex just fingering and eating out. Who make up the "eating out" saying? I mean your not actually eating it...odd? Anyway there just mucking around. But just incase they do start having sex what am i suppose to say to him? "Son i want you not to have sex"?

Thx for all ur replies

I agree you can't control what your son does but that doesn't mean you can't sit down and talk to him and tell him what you think is best for him. *and yes if you think he shouldn't have sex you can tell him that....but explain why too* You can talk to him generally about male -female relationships...what he's to expect at 14, what YOU think is appropriate at his age, and how even though your body may have sexual urges often the rest of you...emotionally particularly...isn't ready for sex. Use this opportunity to start giving him the whole speal...safe sex, birth control, answer his questions about sex and girls and on and on. If you think it's OK for 14 yr olds to have sex..tell him that....if you don't...tell him that too. Just talk to him.

Personally I think fingering and oral sex ARE sex...but that's my personal opinion. Don't kid yourself that if he's having oral sex now that it won't turn on a dime and become sexual intercourse...prepare him for it.. But it doesn't mean you still can't voice your opinion *if it is your opinion* that you think it would be better for him and his girlfriend if they wait to continue having sex.

Bottom line though....don't let him die from being uninformed...make sure he know about AIDs and safe sex, condoms and birth control.

Good luck... I have two grown sons...been there.

 

[Snowballz]

Good to know theres people out there that have been through what im going through?

 

[Snowballz]

BTW he knows about aids and condoms ect. we had that talk already

 

[wicked woman]

Great! Just try to keep the lines of communication open. It's fabulous that he came and asked you for help

 

[Snowballz]

Yeah well i lost his mother through lack of communication and i dont want to loose him. Ive always made sure that we can talk about anything.

 

[Guest]

 

[Snowballz]

What makes you say that? Im not 14 unless you can get married and have children at 14. Where do you live? Ill prove it to you?

 

[Guest]

 

[Snowballz]

Believe what you want.

 

[lilpriss]

Before ANYONE starts to have sex they need to know as much as there is to know about Sexually Transmitted Diseases...

WHY?

Because there are many many things that can be passed from one person to another, not just AIDS...

There are gifts that keep on giving...

Sure sex is enjoyable and all that but there are serious risks that are involved. HIV (certain death), Herpes (itchy blistery rash - 1 in 4 people have this - no cure - not always visible), Genital warts (there are many many strains of this - very widespread and not always visible), Syphyllis (there is a cure, if you know what the symptoms are and treat it soon enough - otherwise certain death... do you know what they are?), Gonnorrhea (fun one there no symtoms), Chlamydia (makes your dick feel like you're pissing fire and can go unnoticed in women, causing infertility down the road), Oh another fun thing is a yeast infection... (can be passed from a woman's vagina to a mouth during oral sex... THAT'S called Thrush... and a 14 yo has no idea what a yeast infetion might look like)

The list goes on... and then there's pregnancy... with a son, sure he could do what many do and be a deadbeat dad, or take the girl to the clinic... but 14 is just too young emotionally to handle the responsibility, I'm sorry.

I think learning all there is to learn about the risks involved is the first step... the rest should take care of itself.

 

[_Milky_Whites_]

am I the only one who thinks snowballs is the 14 year old?

I was thinking the same thing. Im sorry, maybe Im just old fashioned. But what kind of parent would come here seeking sex advice for his 14 yr old kid? That is a CHILD after all. And at that age, if you have an open relationship with your CHILD you will advice them against having sex. And you will be teaching them contraceptive methods. You will be advicing them about first relationships. You WILL NOT be teaching your son how to "eat out" a girl.
Yeah, either snowballz is the kid or he's a very very disoriented parent.
Theres my 2 cents!

 

[peachykeen]

I was thinking the same thing. Im sorry, maybe Im just old fashioned. But what kind of parent would come here seeking sex advice for his 14 yr old kid? That is a CHILD after all. And at that age, if you have an open relationship with your CHILD you will advice them against having sex. And you will be teaching them contraceptive methods. You will be advicing them about first relationships. You WILL NOT be teaching your son how to "eat out" a girl.
Yeah, either snowballz is the kid or he's a very very disoriented parent.
Theres my 2 cents!

My thoughts exactly.

 

[Lust Engine]

Great! Just try to keep the lines of communication open. It's fabulous that he came and asked you for help

I agree that it's great that the lines of communciation are open but now someone's gotta step up tothe plate & be the rational adult here. Lay down the law. Let him know the risks involved and how you're against him experimenting at this age (he still might do it but you still have a huge influence on him). Be that strong influence on him- use those open lines of communication to get to him. It's not just your son's "problem" - it could conceivably kill him (AIDS, HIV, etc) and then it's turn into your problem too.

Be responsible for him.

 

[Noneyabizness]

Don't want to seem cruel but his son is 14...he's presumably not having sex with 'women' at all but young girls who most likely don't have enough experience to know what they want.

I know this will probably come off as prudish, but I think I'd be advising my son to abstain from sex at that age instead of helping him out on his technique. Just my personal opinion.

I very much agree with WW.

This is the best advice I've seen on this topic.

 

[Noneyabizness]

"I know this will probably come off as prudish, but I think I'd be advising my son to abstain from sex at that age instead of helping him out on his technique. Just my personal opinion."

Ill keep that in mind but he's not having sex just fingering and eating out. Who make up the "eating out" saying? I mean your not actually eating it...odd? Anyway there just mucking around. But just incase they do start having sex what am i suppose to say to him? "Son i want you not to have sex"?

Thx for all ur replies

Actually, that is exactly what you should say....he is too young (age 14) for such a mature act. Even birth control is not 100%, so unless you are ready to be a grandparent and he a father, I'd say tell him you don't want him having sex.

 

[Jenny _S]

I very much agree with WW.

This is the best advice I've seen on this topic.

I'm not really sure who the dip shit is here. You for approving you kid's actions, your kid or me for even reading this shit.

I tend to agree with Milky Whites. Either Snowballz is the kid or he never grew up in the first place. In either case you need some serious counciling.

 

[Lust Engine]

SOMEbody had better take charge & be responsible here and speak their mind. Obviously the kid hasn't had enough life experiences to realize the folly that he could be heading into so.....