My first little crush?

BiCuriousWriter

No longer curious
Joined
Jun 25, 2025
Posts
188
Through the years I've started playing with toys up my ass and later live-sized cock-shaped dildos. I became very interested. Watching shemale porn, then solo guys with nice hard cocks, then MMF and gay. I've had a good first experience (see my First Time story) with a guy and want to explore more.

But I've always felt hetero romantic and bi sexual. Never felt anything more for a guy.

Until recently. A new colleague joined our team. Late 20s (I am in my 50s), not very masculine but also not feminine. He always mentions partner instead of girlfriend or boyfriend. I find myself thinking he was cute. And I surprised myself by realising I might be feeling a little crush. I'm thinking of him regularly and he's in my fantasies often. I never thought I'd be interested in kissing a guy, but him I would.

I have no problem with the feeling. I also know nothing will happen. He's a colleague, both have partners, and he is so young. But I'm enjoying the feeling, and still find it positively surprising I have a bit of a crush on a guy.

Just wanted to share that. Here is the only place I know of that I can.
 
So much of our attraction and sexuality is in our minds - that psychological space in our heads and hearts where we call home. While "getting off" is the physical end of it - the rest is so much deeper. So enjoy your head space as long as your longing doesn't hurt you!
 
So much of our attraction and sexuality is in our minds - that psychological space in our heads and hearts where we call home. While "getting off" is the physical end of it - the rest is so much deeper. So enjoy your head space as long as your longing doesn't hurt you!
Great way of putting it to words, thanks.
Yep, enjoying it as long as it does not hurt. The guy is in another office, we hardly ever meet, but online.
 
Mmm, it doesn't happen often, but when it does - wow!! Can't keep your eyes off him, want to stand near him, you try not to show how much you like him, but can't wait to see him again. Then a thrill when you realize - I think he likes me:). You fantasize about him kissing you, wanting you, but you're scared to make the first move. Oh yes, been there.
 
Mmm, it doesn't happen often, but when it does - wow!! Can't keep your eyes off him, want to stand near him, you try not to show how much you like him, but can't wait to see him again. Then a thrill when you realize - I think he likes me:). You fantasize about him kissing you, wanting you, but you're scared to make the first move. Oh yes, been there.
It's a bit soon for most of that, the feeling is there, not overwhelming.
But you're right about the rest, yes. :)
Being scared about making a move has more to do with us both having a partner than anything else.
I am quite convinced he has a male partner. Would love to meet them both, feel the atmosphere when I can slip into the conversation a hint about being bi.
 
I remember in my late teens having a huge crush on an older married man. He was handsome, and seemed so safe and strong and I couldn't get him out of my mind. I was conflicted then with my sexuality then but couldn't deny the feelings. He could tell how I felt but wasn't Bi, but was very kind to me and friendly, so I felt okay with my feelings, but I sooo wanted him to hold me and I fantasized over and over about him teaching me sexually. Even now my memories of him are warm and very hot.
 
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