My current fear

[SubmissiveDove5]

While I understand that no one can really tell me how my Master is feeling, I would just like to express my thoughts. Maybe you could give me a general means of assurance.

I'm worried that Master might be getting bored with me. I'm a very good girl, and I guess I'm worried that he might want someone who isn't so good. Last week I mailed a couple of pictures to him. While he was extremely aroused by my poses, it's just another example of my obedience. I guess I would like to know if Masters/Doms get bored with extremely obedient subs in general? Is this a common outcome?

 

[MissTaken]

Some do....

but not me.

I enjoy obedience in my sub and get frustrated with intentional disobedience.

I would suggest you share your concerns with him. Perhaps an e mail of discussion about your fears. He could then, tell you his preferances.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Have to agree with Miss Taken, you need to discuss this with him, see where his head is at, etc. Another thing I would add is be yourself...if someone is not happy with the basis of who you are, the type sub you feel is you, perhaps it is about looking at whether you are in the right relationship. Sounds bad, and there are issues of training etc., but it is also about bonding with somone who shares the same or similar vision of D/s and roles. For example, to enter into a relationship with an extreme sadist if you are totally not into pain and feel it is abuse, is a recipe for disaster....needs to have some commonality of purpose involved to be fulfilling to those in the relationship. Talk, talk, and talk more before panicing too much..maybe he is just in a energy slump...maybe you are just over analysing, something I am told I do often.

Catalina

 

[AvaAdore]

talk about it. things may seem like they have died down for a number of reasons. he may be having some personal problems which may cause him to be more distant. it could be anything. The only way you will ever know is if you ask.

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

Thank you for your thoughts. I will definitely talk with him about this the next time he's online or the next time he calls.

 

[rosco rathbone]

It's possible; but if that's the case then you are mismatched and it's simply better to move on.

Hope it all works out for you.

 

[Pure]

it's an old debate about fawning, total, voluntary obedience versus resistance overcome, 'breaking' of self-will as a continuing process.

From what I gather, most who call themselves dom/mes fall in the former category. So, if there's boredom and you've given %100, it may, as rosco and others have said, be a difference of agendas in other areas, or 'the bloom is off the rose' (honeymoon over).

 

[FungiUg]

Every relationship requires communication to keep it alive, and not boring. Communication requires talking and listening from both parties. D/s relationships are certainly no exception here.

So if you have fears about your relationship or your partner, the best thing to do is to raise them with your partner. We can only speculate, but you and he can discuss your fears, and see why you feel that way, whether there's any reality to the fear, whether there are things you can do to resolve the fears and any associated issues.

Good luck!

 

[Shadowsdream]

Personally... honest calm adoration and obedience is never boring to Me. Constant pushing to be broken is incredibly boring to Me.
Pushing to be broken is the ultimate Topping from the bottom (in My opinion)

I like to kick ass, slap faces, flog, crop, paddle, torment, et bloody cetra...because it turns Me on not because a supposed submissive craves the extra attention.

Personally...I feel that being PUSHED to break a submissive by disobedience and resistance to learning would in fact be submitting to their desires....

The wonderful thing about BDSM is there is a match for all...somewhere.

 

[SweetDommes]

Personally... honest calm adoration and obedience is never boring to Me. Constant pushing to be broken is incredibly boring to Me.
Pushing to be broken is the ultimate Topping from the bottom (in My opinion)

I like to kick ass, slap faces, flog, crop, paddle, torment, et bloody cetra...because it turns Me on not because a supposed submissive craves the extra attention.

Personally...I feel that being PUSHED to break a submissive by disobedience and resistance to learning would in fact be submitting to their desires....

The wonderful thing about BDSM is there is a match for all...somewhere.

Exactly SD...

We are glad that you have already made the decision to talk to you master about your concerns. Also, we're not exactly sure what it is that makes you think that he is bored with you ... I mean, if he's still being aroused by you, what else is going on that makes you feel that he is bored with you? Not that an answer is expected here, but that is something that you need to think about before you talk to him ... that will give you specific things to mention to him as the basis for your feelings, and may also help keep the conversation rational and calm (I don't know how you are with conversations like this ... but I tend to lose my calm and rational thought once a discussion of emotions is begun ... I can regain it, but it is difficult for me).

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

I can't believe I thought he was getting bored with me! I received an email from him the other day, and I found out that he has been extremely busy. He started a new job and has returned to school. He's been extremely run down, and that's why he hasn't been in contact as much. I should have known because this is how it was during the first couple of months of our relationship. I understood then, and now that I know the situation, I understand now too. I swear, I am so insecure. lol

I think I'll give him a call tomorrow. I'm not sure if I'm going to mention my insecurities though. I mean, seeing that it was nothing to be worried about. Thanks for all the advice though

 

[SweetDommes]

I think I'll give him a call tomorrow. I'm not sure if I'm going to mention my insecurities though. I mean, seeing that it was nothing to be worried about. Thanks for all the advice though

You had them, I would definately mention them ... even if it wasn't what you thought it was, the insecurities were there and need to be dealt with before it happens again.

 

[Etoile]

Ah, the dangers of online-only/long-distance relationships. Communication is critical! You should definitely let him know that you were concerned, and I think you could also ask him to please keep in touch once a day. Unless he is so busy that he's not getting online at all, it only takes 30 seconds to jot down an e-mail like "Hope you're well. Very busy here. Be a good girl." I'm sure he'd be willing to do that for you.

 

[Bandit58]

Ah, the dangers of online-only/long-distance relationships. Communication is critical! You should definitely let him know that you were concerned, and I think you could also ask him to please keep in touch once a day. Unless he is so busy that he's not getting online at all, it only takes 30 seconds to jot down an e-mail like "Hope you're well. Very busy here. Be a good girl." I'm sure he'd be willing to do that for you.

I quite agree.....I know when Master and I were apart I worried when I didn't hear from Him, mainly because of His health problems. I remember waking at 3 or 4 in the morning and actually getting online and checking my emails to see if He'd sent anything.....if He had I was able to go back to bed and get some proper sleep. Sometimes I'd leave my internet connection on (my bed was beside the computer) and would go doze until I heard the message alert from Yahoo I was 2 hours ahead timewise which didn't help either.....but we made it through the long days and nights and have been together almost 4 months now

 

[Mr Blonde]

This information might not pertain to your specific relationship, but these two threads are worth a read:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=225116
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=193482

If your partner is like me, reading my comments in those threads might be relevant to your situation. Or your problem might be something totally different.

I continue to lack balance in how I initially approach relationships and eventually integrate them into my normal life. I have had several successful relationship, but even my good relationships have been sub-optimal because of me not distributing my energies and attentions appropriately.

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

Thank you Mr. Blond for the links. They did discuss issues that were similar, if not equal to mine.

Etoile, I think I will talk to him about communicating with me at least three days a week through email. Unfortunately for him, he doesn't have a computer
right now. I kind of inadvertantly gave his computer a virus, but I'm sure it'll be fixed soon. Thanks for the tip.
We did talk everyday in the beginning, but now he's got school to concentrate on, which I'm very supportive, but he doesn't have as much time for now.

I have found myself feeling more and more insecure since Saturday. I called him Saturday night, but I guess I called at the wrong time. He had company,
and the way he told me really upset me. He said, "You should have called a half hour ago. I have company now." It wasn't what he said, it was how he said
it. I tried telling myself that was just how he is, and he probably didn't even realize it. My grandmother told me I should discontinue the relationship,
but I disagree. I'm not going to stop something just because of one "bad tone." I don't think I could discontinue the relationship at any time for any
reason actually. I love him too much. Trust is also something that I have issues with. It's a very big risk for me to take everyday to trust him. I just
keep telling myself that he said I can trust him, so until he does something that suggests that I can't, I'll keep giving it all I have. I will definiely
discuss this stuff with him as soon as we speak again via telephone.

 

[Etoile]

Etoile, I think I will talk to him about communicating with me at least three days a week through email. Unfortunately for him, he doesn't have a computer
right now. I kind of inadvertantly gave his computer a virus, but I'm sure it'll be fixed soon. Thanks for the tip.
We did talk everyday in the beginning, but now he's got school to concentrate on, which I'm very supportive, but he doesn't have as much time for now.

I have found myself feeling more and more insecure since Saturday. I called him Saturday night, but I guess I called at the wrong time. He had company, and the way he told me really upset me. He said, "You should have called a half hour ago. I have company now." It wasn't what he said, it was how he said it. I tried telling myself that was just how he is, and he probably didn't even realize it. My grandmother told me I should discontinue the relationship, but I disagree. I'm not going to stop something just because of one "bad tone." I don't think I could discontinue the relationship at any time for any reason actually. I love him too much. Trust is also something that I have issues with. It's a very big risk for me to take everyday to trust him. I just keep telling myself that he said I can trust him, so until he does something that suggests that I can't, I'll keep giving it all I have. I will definiely discuss this stuff with him as soon as we speak again via telephone.

Ooops! Well, maybe he can use a computer at school to keep in touch with you. (I am assuming you are both in college?) Long-distance relationships are really tough. Have the two of you met in person?

And yikes, I've totally been there with the bad tone bit. It usually just makes me burst into tears when Daddy does it to me. It also makes me very nervous and questioning of the relationship, and questioning of myself, etc. I can absolutely understand why that would have hurt you.

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

Yes, Chris and I are both in college. He is working on his Associate's degree in Business, while I am majoring in Psychology (Fourth time I change my major in seven years). We haven't met in person yet, but we do plan to soon. We both hope it's sooner than later because we've been communicating for five months now.

It seems that you and I have the same reactions when it comes to hearing "the tone." I also get nervous and start questioning myself, ans well as the relationship. I cry a lot too. I try to hold it back until after we've spoken, but once I started crying right over the phone. He didn't sympathize with me at all. I think he thought I was crying just to wrap him around my finger, but that wasn't the case at all. I was crying because I was frustrated with myself. He had asked me to do something that I had a hard time with. Most of the time, he is kind, loving and understanding though.

 

[AvaAdore]

It seems that you and I have the same reactions when it comes to hearing "the tone." I also get nervous and start questioning myself, ans well as the relationship. I cry a lot too. I try to hold it back until after we've spoken, but once I started crying right over the phone. He didn't sympathize with me at all. I think he thought I was crying just to wrap him around my finger, but that wasn't the case at all. I was crying because I was frustrated with myself. He had asked me to do something that I had a hard time with. Most of the time, he is kind, loving and understanding though.

i have had exactly the same thing: my significant other says something on the phone in such a way that it really upsets me. later if i ask about it, he never meant it to be offensive in any way at all. also, a lot of guys tend to respond negatively to girlfriends appearing "clingy". i have always been really emotional, and cry very easily, whether out of happiness or sadness. sometimes after BDSM play, i get so overwhelmed with emotion that i hold on to him really tight and basically do cling to him for a bit. he found it really difficult to cope with initially, and reacted with annoyance, which just tore me apart. i mean, i just completely exposed myself to this person, and afterwords i felt completely rejected! so after much arguing and misunderstanding and tears, he realized that i'm not going to strip his personal space from him. i think he understands now how vital it is to give me attention after the sex is over and done with, and now he even enjoys it

if your relationship lasts, you will need to realize that you are two quite different people who react to things in different ways. the most important thing is to try to understand one another. tell him that sometimes emotions overcome you and you feel really sensitive to his tone of voice. tell him you are not crying to control him; you cry easily, and that is just who you are. there really isn't much you can do about it. and tell him that you do need the occasional consoling.

heh...you sound just like me in that respect...or i am just seeing myself.

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

Yes, I have told him that I am extremely emotional. Actually, I told him right at the beginning of our relationship. I told him that I am very clingy, which he claims he doesn't mind, but I'm not sure yet if that is absolutely true. I have discovered that he is intensely emotional as well, so maybe that is why he doesn't mind my being emotional.

I did tell him that I cry very easily while trying to hold back the tears that one time I cried while on the phone. He told me that crying didn't work with him. He puts on this tough act, but I wonder if he wasn't really wanting to console me or something deep down inside.